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 beautifulsoul2014
Joined: 2/7/2014
Msg: 1
Messages but no date...Page 1 of 1    
A friend of mine gets messages from this guy she likes everyday. He asks about her day and shares personal stories with her all the time. She likes him and thinks they are compatible but he never asks her out on a date. Why do guys do this? She's so confused and I am too!
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 2
Messages but no date...
Posted: 12/3/2015 10:42:28 AM
^ ^ ^ ^ Is this someone your friend has met face to face?
If not, nothing is real until you meet. Behind a screen anyone can be anyone. Who knows?
If your friend has met this guy, then he is just doin' what she allows him to do.
Yes it's that simple.
 ShowboatSupreme
Joined: 11/10/2015
Msg: 3
Messages but no date...
Posted: 12/3/2015 10:49:37 AM
Yeah, I don't get why hawt women don't message compatible men like me.

Go figure...
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 4
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Messages but no date...
Posted: 12/3/2015 10:51:58 AM
Why doesn't she ask him out? If he does not respond then I would say he's either married or has a live in GF.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 5
Messages but no date...
Posted: 12/3/2015 11:01:35 AM
If she likes him and feels they are compatible she should ask him out to dinner.
Should she be an early-thirties professional with Masters degree like you, it likely is not a financial consideration.
Let us know how things come along after she asks him.

 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 6
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Messages but no date...
Posted: 12/3/2015 2:09:55 PM
Something to keep in mind, this person could be a child, or an elderly person, or a woman, or someone she knows but she's never been interested in them. Whatever or whoever this person is, they are hiding for a reason.
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 7
Messages but no date...
Posted: 12/3/2015 2:38:36 PM
Is this guy someone she's met in person or just online? If she hasn't yet met him in person, then I agree with daynadaze.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 8
Messages but no date...
Posted: 12/3/2015 2:59:09 PM
So the OP's friend should ask him out to remove all doubt:

Suggested script:
"...Hi BigJason, it is TennisGirl123 calling. It has been lots of fun sharing messages together.
Meeting live in person to put a face and voice to the notes would be fantastic.
What is your availability to meet at McDuff's Pub on Saturday, December 5 at 8:30 pm?..."

Let us know how it goes.

 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 9
Messages but no date...
Posted: 12/3/2015 4:56:22 PM

Why do guys do this? She's so confused and I am too!


Welcome to the everyday guy's nightmare.

I've been confused about the opposite gender for over 40 years.

Equal rights, and all that jazz.

If you or her have a question, open your mouths and ask. But, always ask the person that can give you the answer. We here have no clue at all. We could guess though.
 tangofish
Joined: 6/16/2015
Msg: 10
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Messages but no date...
Posted: 12/4/2015 10:54:44 AM
Have you considered the possibility that it could just be a dexterous llama with outstanding literate capabilities?
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 11
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Messages but no date...
Posted: 12/4/2015 11:16:11 AM
Or a Polydactyl cat, they sort of have thumbs and could text too
 castlehillsmile
Joined: 11/4/2015
Msg: 12
Messages but no date...
Posted: 12/4/2015 12:08:53 PM
She should invite him to meet.
Dinner if she wants.
My preference is lunch or brunch somewhere nice.
Fish markets is a favourite.

More than likely he will not want to meet and come up with a multitude of excuses.
In which case she can decide if she is happy with a pen pal, who could be an 80 year old drooling man or a 14 year old boy or married.

Even when you meet, allow at least a few 'dates' to get to know the person.
Some people can keep up a facade for a little while but eventually their true self shines out.
 L_LuuLuu
Joined: 8/2/2009
Msg: 13
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Messages but no date...
Posted: 12/4/2015 12:19:19 PM
Is his name Tony?

If so, it's because he collects cyber girl friends so he'll always have a "Plan B" girl available.

BTW: he doesn't live in your area, but visits regularly.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 14
Messages but no date...
Posted: 12/4/2015 10:06:48 PM
She should ask him out. Whenever I was unsure whether a woman was interested in me or not. I would clearly put the ball in her court and see what her response is.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 15
Messages but no date...
Posted: 12/4/2015 10:58:14 PM

A friend of mine gets messages from this guy she likes everyday. He asks about her day and shares personal stories with her all the time. She likes him and thinks they are compatible but he never asks her out on a date. Why do guys do this? She's so confused and I am too!

Are you talking about a guy from a dating site, or someone she knows IRL? If from a dating site, it's quite common to message people when you're bored and feel like chatting. It's been done to me too, and by me - no interest there. It doesn't sound like he's interested. If I were in the girl's place, I'd drop the hint that there is another guy in the picture, and stop responding to his messages.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 16
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Messages but no date...
Posted: 12/5/2015 12:58:19 AM
the man is married, not who he says he is and I would not be wasting time or energy on him. If he does not want to meet up he has something to hide and this happens with both genders on dating sites.. I would just move on if I were her unless she just wants an epal to talk to.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 17
Messages but no date...
Posted: 12/5/2015 7:38:45 AM

Are you talking about a guy from a dating site, or someone she knows IRL? If from a dating site, it's quite common to message people when you're bored and feel like chatting. It's been done to me too, and by me - no interest there. It doesn't sound like he's interested. If I were in the girl's place, I'd drop the hint that there is another guy in the picture, and stop responding to his messages.


That's why she should ask him out. She will get a better idea of his interest level. If he avoids the question, claims to be busy without any counteroffer etc, then chances are he is bored, using her as a backup option in case things don't work out with another woman etc.
 Fiery_Heart
Joined: 1/15/2015
Msg: 18
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Messages but no date...
Posted: 12/7/2015 10:59:22 AM

beautifulsoul2014 said:

A friend of mine gets messages from this guy she likes everyday. He asks about her day and shares personal stories with her all the time. She likes him and thinks they are compatible but he never asks her out on a date. Why do guys do this? She's so confused and I am too!


Sounds like he just wants to be friends. What does his profile state his intentions are?
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 19
Messages but no date...
Posted: 12/9/2015 10:35:36 AM
It could be any one of a hundred reasons why he does not ask her out. Who cares? He's a catfish.

And why should the woman ask him and risk rejection when most guys will ask anyway?

If they don't ask in a week, talk to somebody else. Don't put your love-life on hold for someone you barely know........ what have they done for you lately?! There are plenty of fish in the sea, and you only need one good one.
 illinigirl2168
Joined: 6/21/2012
Msg: 20
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Posted: 12/11/2015 10:03:50 AM
Yeah, I don't understand this (after being on here a year, I have zero patience for it) I just ask them out and/or call them out on why they keep messaging me if they're "never gonna stop being a chickens**t wussy and get out from behind their device. It's a dating site, not a penpal site"

I end it with "If I wanted to go hang out, have drinks and fun, date and have sex with my phone, I would. I don't. I prefer humans"

and that's usually the end of that. They either man up..or I read their lame hemming and hawing excuse..then tell the "that's a sad life you lead there staring at a screen 24/7" and that's it.

Wow, I have really changed a bit in how I handle this stuff after not even a year one year..yikes!

Honestly, my best dates/mini-relationship off here happened when meeting someone immediately..like that night or week. The other way is really ass backwards, if you think about it.
 ndm147
Joined: 8/1/2013
Msg: 21
Messages but no date...
Posted: 12/11/2015 2:51:29 PM
I agree. If they just want to penpal, go to facebook and do it.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 22
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Messages but no date...
Posted: 12/11/2015 6:27:13 PM
man, some of those llamas are as cute as hell, wish I had one...
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