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 skiptalker
Joined: 11/25/2007
Msg: 1
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whats the norm just had a reply after 9 days with no explanation ie holidays etc..just wondered how long is a reasonable time i somehow feel i could have been lying in the cant be bothered pile,anybody have any input
 duracell_bunny_one
Joined: 1/21/2015
Msg: 2
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Posted: 12/23/2015 7:24:12 AM
The 'norm' is to be totally ignored........
Nine days? - Sounds like you were in the reserve squad, imo.
I could be wrong, she might have a sick auntie......

 Justanotherchap
Joined: 12/4/2013
Msg: 3
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Posted: 12/23/2015 8:41:34 AM
Well at least she came back to you. But yes, probably tried a couple of others and now has come down to the B list. Nothing lost though, get together and see where it goes or not.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 4
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Posted: 12/23/2015 4:47:14 PM
If a man that interested me messaged me, and it took me 9 days to respond, I would make sure my message explained why. I would want him to know that I was also interested and that I didn't want him to think he was on the B list.

The fact that she didn't do that makes me wonder how communicative/enthusiastic should would be as the relationship progressed. It's hard being the only one that makes an effort.

IF you still have an interest in her, you could reply saying something like "HI xxx , what a pleasant surprise. I thought you might not be interested so I was really happy to see a message from you. How are your Christmas plans/holiday plans/whatever coming along?"
 skiptalker
Joined: 11/25/2007
Msg: 5
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Posted: 12/24/2015 3:13:29 AM
thanks for your input and lots taken on board, i know where your coming from duracell... i have decided to stop sending messages first as feel i am pssing into the wind thanks guys/gals
 Justanotherchap
Joined: 12/4/2013
Msg: 6
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Posted: 12/24/2015 3:22:11 AM
If you're not going to send messages first then get used to the sound of tumbleweed blowing past.
 skiptalker
Joined: 11/25/2007
Msg: 7
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Posted: 12/24/2015 3:54:41 AM
i know....but there is only so much us men can take...women want gender equality which i agree with totally but lets have an even playing field.
 TucsonPug
Joined: 6/17/2015
Msg: 8
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Posted: 12/24/2015 7:54:58 AM
If you send no messages you'll probably receive no messages, so what's the point?
Don't judge everybody by a few, we're not all the same.
Are you really so sensitive that not getting a reply to a message causes you such grief?
You need a thicker skin to survive online dating.
What would happen if you got a really rude, nasty reply?
 skiptalker
Joined: 11/25/2007
Msg: 9
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Posted: 12/24/2015 2:16:48 PM
no this is just not about this individual incident but basically a finality reached about being so long on plenty of fish and putting time into this one way traffic syndrome, not wishing to be disrespectful but being a woman you are not having to face this but thanks for your feedback.
 TucsonPug
Joined: 6/17/2015
Msg: 10
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Posted: 12/24/2015 3:27:14 PM
You have no clue, women send messages and heavens above they get ignored sometimes too, we get sent pure filth at times but hey it's on line dating so what do we expect. We get rudeness when we send a polite rejection, told were stuck up B!tches and a hell of a lot worse. Yeah you're right best not to bother, oops I mean best not to let it bother you.
 Justanotherchap
Joined: 12/4/2013
Msg: 11
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Posted: 12/28/2015 1:44:28 AM
I've just created a Pof event and have had a huge amount of email, most of it nice but quite a lot of abusive stuff too. I had a chat with a fellow organiser who said something like "welcome to the (female) dark side".
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