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 McBean4001
Joined: 3/5/2015
Msg: 1
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Does anyone take this seriously?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
HI,

I have had horrible luck finding someone. I probably have an ignore rate of about 90%. I try. I message. I'm polite. Please don't give the standard responses. Try changing your pictures, ect, ect. Been there done that. I don't have an ego, but this horrible situation is not me. I'm trying. In the last year I'm at about 125 ignores, 25 may have risked one message. One woman tried. We dated for several months. She broke it off (it was a good time to end it).

This message is half rant, half I'm wondering if anyone else gets this? Its not human to expect some to deal with that much rejection.

So I've decided to head off to speed dating. Has anyone else tried this? Do people try there?
 Canandaigua_Momma
Joined: 12/16/2015
Msg: 2
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Does anyone take this seriously?
Posted: 12/29/2015 3:48:03 PM
Speed dating seems like jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire.
A small handful of my girlfriends have tried Tinder and each of them far preferred regular online dating.
Maybe a friend-of-a-friend can put you in contact with someone who might be available?
 Fred Astaire24
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 3
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Does anyone take this seriously?
Posted: 12/29/2015 6:32:57 PM
Try one of the dance events that are listed in POF. That is a good way to meet people.
 McBean4001
Joined: 3/5/2015
Msg: 4
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Does anyone take this seriously?
Posted: 12/30/2015 11:53:17 AM
I have asked every friend, even some where it was inappropiate to ask. Although your comment makes speed dating seem extreme, it actually motivates me to go that way. There is absolutely nothing cooking in this frying pan. I can't wait to meet someone who might actually try, even if its not a match. It will be comforting to just talk to someone who tries.

Sorry for such negativity, but I've never seen so many people not try. Its really discouraging.
 McBean4001
Joined: 3/5/2015
Msg: 5
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Does anyone take this seriously?
Posted: 12/30/2015 11:55:00 AM
Seriously. Off topic discussion? Please point me where to post it and I'll send it there.

Moderators? Please help me?
 charmed683
Joined: 4/5/2015
Msg: 6
Does anyone take this seriously?
Posted: 1/4/2016 4:35:43 PM
I hear ya! I have the added pleasure of trying to date with children who apparently are the plague!!! It is very discouraging not getting a response back! I have over 1100 people who clicked "meet me" and I'm lucky if I get 1 message or 1 response a month!
 MyInspiration
Joined: 7/29/2012
Msg: 7
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Does anyone take this seriously?
Posted: 1/14/2016 6:35:55 PM
I am in the same boat.

Good, long pleasing messages, and many are totally ignored, while others simply deleted with no response. A few 'Unread-Deleted".

Chemistry does indeed rule. Do your photos kind of suck? Good luck!

A good (lady) friend of mine told me to play like a serious bingo player. Have many cards and keep dabbing. She actually recommended I copy past the same message to anyone I am interested in and the more messages I send, the better my chances.

Seriously?

I have a couple of weeks left in my 'paid' membership then back to standard.
The only advantage of the paid over free that I have actually found useful is to see on the 'extended profile' whether a lady will or will not date someone who smokes. That saves me the rare occasion when I actually do message someone.I cannot play the numbers game, and wish to not be message 101 of 100+ messages per day for an attractive lady.
 Ingweemalmsteen
Joined: 11/12/2015
Msg: 8
Does anyone take this seriously?
Posted: 2/25/2016 1:28:58 PM
It probably has something to do with the ratio of women to men on this site. The men far outnumber the women so the odds of a response aren't very good.
 Stellan77
Joined: 2/8/2016
Msg: 9
Does anyone take this seriously?
Posted: 2/28/2016 1:03:17 PM
I don't take this site too seriously. I don't send out messages, as I am trying to put most of my effort into meeting people in real life. But if a woman does message me and I am interested in her, I will respond.
 xsPuRx
Joined: 4/27/2013
Msg: 10
Does anyone take this seriously?
Posted: 4/2/2016 9:41:36 PM
hey some people have no social life? lol kidding

I've done some friends suggested dates of friends, went okay, I browse on here and send a message here and there. I have a similar rating 90% no response. At least I can see if they read the message or not lol. It is a little funny because sometimes I see profiles they demand someone send a good message instead of just "hi" or whats up. yet I put all the effort into something more than just a hello, and they delete the message haha. So your not the only one, but as one poster said above women get 100's of messages on here. You have to be patient and persistent, and lucky. lol

I completely understand though it can be De-motivating at times, but if you find that perfect woman, it would be worth it right?

I'm very selective about who I send messages to though as well. I'm very good at reading between the lines. So I can pick apart a profile pretty quickly, and determine if the person is even someone I would get a long with. So I spend more time picking appart profiles and less time messaging. Only messaging people I can't tell, or I actually think might be worth it. This has improved my response rate. Even if its just a casual conversation.
 Dragracer428
Joined: 1/1/2012
Msg: 11
Does anyone take this seriously?
Posted: 4/3/2016 4:04:40 AM


I have had horrible luck finding someone. I probably have an ignore rate of about 90%. I try. I message. I'm polite. Please don't give the standard responses. Try changing your pictures, ect, ect. Been there done that. I don't have an ego, but this horrible situation is not me. I'm trying. In the last year I'm at about 125 ignores, 25 may have risked one message. One woman tried. We dated for several months. She broke it off (it was a good time to end it).


I have to wonder at your expectations, if you read these forums and talk to other people who are using OLD you are not doing that badly.
 Fred Astaire24
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 12
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Does anyone take this seriously?
Posted: 4/3/2016 5:34:43 AM
Hi Charmed683 - if someone thinks your children are the plague, it is he who is ill, not you and not your children. I have dated ladies with children and it was not a problem, with the exception of lack of a sitter the odd time :) Then we stayed in, ordered pizza and pretended we were a family :) If it wasn't for the age difference, I would still be dating that young lady, who was about your age.

For everyone - don't worry about those who don't want you, it is their loss. Find someone who wants you, not just anyone who happens by, and you will be happy :)
 Greanize
Joined: 7/30/2005
Msg: 13
Does anyone take this seriously?
Posted: 4/3/2016 1:02:41 PM
I get a kick out of men assuming women get hundreds of messages and have their pick whenever they want. I get maybe two messages a week if I am lucky and rarely do anyone respond to my messages. I have not been out on a date in 4 years. People are tough and there are no miraculous 'fixes' to meet someone. Just keep trying. Every bicycle has a seat and there is an a55 out there for every seat!
 Fred Astaire24
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 14
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Does anyone take this seriously?
Posted: 4/3/2016 1:52:50 PM
Hi Greanize - I believe we met at a dance a few years ago and I hope we get to meet at a dance again soon.

I agree with you, that we sometimes over-estimate how many messages others receive. The lack of a reply may be due to a message that is not clear or poorly written. I know sometimes I have to search for the right words. I do try to answer every message, even if only to say, 'thanks but I am not interested', mostly from people who live too far. It does not cost anything to be polite but to be rude may cost you your good name and a future friend.

Keep trying, be polite, say what you mean, treat others the way you want to be treated. Good luck :)
 lovesgermanshepherds
Joined: 5/5/2015
Msg: 15
Does anyone take this seriously?
Posted: 4/10/2016 10:25:38 AM
I can't speak for anybody but me. I call plenty of fish plenty of fools. I too have a no reply/ rejection rate of 99% plus. I have all but given up hope. With women they get 10, 20 emails a day so what the may have looked at today is forgotten tomorrow. And there is so much choice for them that the slightest thing and they go, next. I'm old enough to remember how our parent's met. There was no internet, not even computers. They went out to a dance. You saw the person in real life. You maybe talked, danced with that person. Human contact made them say to themselves hey, I like this person. Online dating is the worst thing to happen to our society. Too much choice every day. Iv'e heard the same stories. not enough in your profile etc. I live in a small town where there are'nt many dances so I have to head to the city to the bar. I have no problem meeting women to dance with. Unfortunately I get the same answer though if I want to try and build a relationship. It's, your not from around here. I don't want a long distance relationship. Like it or not that's understandable. At the same time throwing away something you might like without trying is sad. You never know if that person might be the love your looking for. And as the saying goes love will find a way to put the both of you in the same place.
 Mber
Joined: 12/3/2007
Msg: 16
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Does anyone take this seriously?
Posted: 4/15/2016 5:10:06 PM
Looks like your track record mirrors mine.

I joined POF in December 2007, met 1 man in the Spring of 2008 (who snuck out of the coffee shop a mere 15 minutes after meeting me), and ... nothing since then! Even though over 200 men allege that they have wanted to meet me, they (a) are 20+ years younger than me, (b) live too far away from me, (c) can't speak English to save their lives, or (d) set off major warning bells; e.g., the individual who told me that he loves me in his first email to me. That is why I outline clear specifications on my profile regarding the individual I would like to meet.

It's news to me that the majority of those on POF are men. Living in an area where the women out-number the men 13%, I choose to focus on the good things in my life instead of the bad; e.g., my health is exceptional, I have a job I love, and I live a peaceful life.

Wishing you a great weekend!

... Mber
 annieslash66
Joined: 10/4/2014
Msg: 17
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Does anyone take this seriously?
Posted: 5/6/2016 8:35:06 PM
Right?!! I haven't seen those hundreds! LOL! Lucky to get one or two a month. Now im not online a lot, so I don't have super high expectations, but no, women as a rule aren't getting hundreds of messages at a time. If only!! Ha ha! It's been 4 years since I've been on a date too! I don't even want to talk about how long ago my last LT relationship was, ha ha! I suppose moving from the big city to a small town wasn't brilliant when it comes to expanding my dating pool. Lol! It'll come when it comes I suppose. :)
 kalasmontreal
Joined: 2/26/2016
Msg: 18
Does anyone take this seriously?
Posted: 5/22/2016 3:48:25 PM
For me is just a good site to waste some time Lol
 ExoticDelight
Joined: 7/25/2016
Msg: 19
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Does anyone take this seriously?
Posted: 7/28/2016 8:58:38 PM
Salutations,
If you want you can check out my profile and see what I wrote. I've received "Meet Me's" on a daily and have gotten women who messaged me.
 edi6
Joined: 11/17/2015
Msg: 20
Does anyone take this seriously?
Posted: 8/15/2016 6:53:06 AM
LOL, they're dating your money.....
 Nestaron
Joined: 3/22/2016
Msg: 21
Does anyone take this seriously?
Posted: 12/22/2016 9:27:21 PM
I honestly dont really take this seriously it is actually a fun way to relax some nights. Most of the time you dont even get a response so just have fun with it. I go out in public and I have no problem talking to a lady that I just met and we could talk 10-15 minutes no problem become friends if their married oh well and I get 2 new friends. No matter how wacked out my intro is or what my profile changes to always the same type of lady money and employment questions first. So yeah I prefer the public because that wont be brought up until a 2 or 3 date here it's their first question. I am immediately done with them it's no offence but really I dont even know them so my financials is not their business. You just got to have fun enjoy and laugh at it because you will probably never meet them in your life so who cares on what they think.
 ready4u182
Joined: 5/10/2017
Msg: 23
Does anyone take this seriously?
Posted: 6/9/2017 4:10:24 AM
Is just the same as every other dating site, doesn't really work.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 24
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Does anyone take this seriously?
Posted: 9/27/2017 9:14:41 PM
Dating sites don't work for men. The problem is that women get so many messages that they might not even have time to reply to you even if they don't see anything wrong with your profile. If you had 100 messages in your inbox, would you take time to reply to them all? The best way to invest your time is in networking and learning skills in real life. I'm not even sure why I'm still here, I'm just bored I guess.
 omgiamhere2stay
Joined: 9/26/2014
Msg: 25
Does anyone take this seriously?
Posted: 11/12/2017 5:59:23 PM
lol that happens on both sides not just for woman, hell ill met anyone for coffee its not like it use to be. i resorted to going out of town for parties now so if you here of any let me know please
 omgiamhere2stay
Joined: 9/26/2014
Msg: 26
Does anyone take this seriously?
Posted: 11/12/2017 6:01:12 PM
lol speed datting they stil paying that lame game? at my dances i have blind date game.. sorta like the bachelor but only 15 mins each... then they name a winner at the end.
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