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 craig2th
Joined: 12/11/2015
Msg: 1
Why are girls from Philippines mailing me?Page 1 of 1    
One thing that is happening more and more lately across a few dating sites is girls in the Philippines are mailing me. Since I'm in USA, and they are on the other side of the world. I have to wonder why are they mailing me?
(I understand if it's 1 or 2 of them doing it. But, it seems like I get a few of them every few weeks. The ones I talked to seem to be very cool, and girls I would date if I was already there.)

The only thing I can think of is they are gold diggers. They think I have money because of my location, my skin color, or something else. But I could be and I hope I am very very wrong about this.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 2
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Why are girls from Philippines mailing me?
Posted: 1/17/2016 12:44:50 AM
They are messaging you because they can. Go into your Mail Settings and put some distance restrictions in place.
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 3
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Why are girls from Philippines mailing me?
Posted: 1/17/2016 5:04:02 AM
They are looking for a way to get out of their country. I worked with a girl from the Philippines who married an auto worker she met while he was vacationing there. She came from a very poor family and immediately upon coming here got a credit card and maxed it out sending things home.
Then tried to file for a divorce and bankruptcy.
 Lasthookbringsme
Joined: 11/8/2015
Msg: 4
Why are girls from Philippines mailing me?
Posted: 1/17/2016 6:17:12 AM
It's wonderful that you're open to a variety of interesting people. I completely understand your ambivalence and your wise to consider your needs (and that of those women).

Folks from the Philippines are interesting and community and family-oriented people. It's said that women enjoy equal rights there (bodily autonomy in some instances is restricted 'to preserve the family unit', so I challenge the "equal" part). It's true that some also struggle to make ends meet for their families and think that a man in a country like ours have a lot to give to her and them.

It isn't always the case, though. I know of (not personally) a man who set up a GoFund campaign to generate dollars to visit a (by all accounts, intelligent and beautiful) young woman he met online and bring her across. He managed to raise the funds do all of this -- ok, no problem, right? Yes, a big problem: this fool lives "off the grid" in a hovel I wouldn't label a home and entertain inviting a human being into it. He has no resources and ongoing resources to support himself sufficiently (even off the grid), much less supporting another human being. He's a delusional old man who thinks of these Asian women as "playthings" rather than equal, living, breathing human beings, and when they're all done or can't mange, return them home penniless and disgraced. Pigs like him exist and I think these vulnerable women have more to lose than the men bringing them across.

People do manage to live inter-culturally and internationally and sometimes some connections are based on stability, curiosity, and differences. There isn't anything wrong with it so long as everybody involved is realistic and aware of the situation. You would hope it's for love, but love doesn't pay the bills.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 5
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Why are girls from Philippines mailing me?
Posted: 1/17/2016 6:49:06 AM
If you aren't willing to travel to the Philippines to meet some of these women, then it's pointless to speculate about their motives or values. Put in a distance filter or a "must live in the United States" and that will eliminate any future contacts.

My cousin married a woman who lived in the Philippines he met through the Catholic Church. They met, eventually got married, she lives in the USA now, everyone is happy. Most people in the Philippines are Catholic and speak fairly good English, though that isn't any assurance they aren't also scammers.

Some that contact you will be scammers/gold-diggers, some will be genuine. Those that are genuine will want to eventually get married and/or live together. So if you aren't interested in that sort of thing, put in the filter.


They are looking for a way to get out of their country. I worked with a girl from the Philippines who married an auto worker she met while he was vacationing there. She came from a very poor family and immediately upon coming here got a credit card and maxed it out sending things home.
Then tried to file for a divorce and bankruptcy.


Not the best way to meet.

In a related note, when I was dating my wife, I signed her up as an authorized user on one of my credit cards while she lived in Thailand. Of course by that time I believed I could trust her, and if she was going to travel she would need a credit card, and maybe need access to credit for an emergency.

She never charged anything, and while I didn't do it as a test, it certainly could have been a major problem if she abused it. I did put in an alert if any charge was over $500, but you cant 't be sure that will work.

Funny, now she lives here and she has a higher credit card score than I do and she gets a steady stream of credit card offers and has gotten two credit cards in her name. Adding her as an authorized user helps to build her credit history.

Note that I feel I have a lot of experience in relationships, (not so much in online dating), so I trusted my instincts about people I was dating. It seems many people are overly naive, and that can apply to either side of the International dateline.
 craig2th
Joined: 12/11/2015
Msg: 6
Why are girls from Philippines mailing me?
Posted: 1/17/2016 9:34:31 AM
Thanks for the heads up.


@dragonbytes
I'm actually up for traveling, and may go there one day. But, I highly doubt it will be any sooner than 5 years.
I'm just finding it odd that I'm getting a ton of messages from there. And, whenever you look up Philippines dating, nearly all the top links are warning about them scamming.

Now, obviously they aren't going to get crap from me. But it's interesting none of the less.


As far as just making it where people outside of the country can't contact you. Not all dating sites have this.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 7
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Why are girls from Philippines mailing me?
Posted: 1/17/2016 9:44:19 AM
I ignore any and all messages coming from outside of the USA. Although in some cases they pretend to be here when they actually aren’t. Unless, of course, it’s someone who saw me on these forums and wants to comment about one of my posts. It’s surprising how many messages I get about those, there are still a lot of lurkers out there who read but don’t post. Not nearly as many as there used to be, when these forums were easier to find, but still quite a few.

Let me throw out a secondary, but semi-related question here. About 3 years ago, I met a Chinese woman. She did not speak English, she used a little hand held translator to converse. She was quite attractive, about 55 years old, and very nice. But it just wasn’t going to be realistically possible to date, at least not in my opinion. Conversation was very difficult, we could never go to the movies, or to a comedy club, or …

Recently, I have had two more Chinese women approach me. One of them was downright beautiful, so I conversed with her for a while. She, too, is using a translation device to talk with me online. She wants to meet, and I don’t think I’m going to do that.

So my question is, has anyone successfully dated a non-English speaker? If so, how?
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 12/24/2015
Msg: 8
Why are girls from Philippines mailing me?
Posted: 1/17/2016 10:02:27 AM
^ I haven't, but it does have its appeal. You just need to speak the language of looove. I don't care for people who talk and talk and talk. If I can't find a non English speaker, I think I might try pretending I don't speak English.
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 9
Why are girls from Philippines mailing me?
Posted: 1/17/2016 10:49:40 AM
Now try saying that as Ursula from The Little Mermaid.

"....girls who talk too much are a bore..."
 UnderStarrySkies
Joined: 8/20/2015
Msg: 10
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Why are girls from Philippines mailing me?
Posted: 1/19/2016 5:44:40 PM
They want to come to the US, marry a citizen and live the American dream.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 11
Why are girls from Philippines mailing me?
Posted: 1/19/2016 5:48:22 PM
Pretty much. And hopefully a young and attractive US citizen like OP... That's like winning the lottery.
 yougotmeakitten
Joined: 8/30/2014
Msg: 12
Why are girls from Philippines mailing me?
Posted: 1/19/2016 7:13:27 PM
Ohenry
So my question is, has anyone successfully dated a non-English speaker? If so, how?


Way back when I was in my 20's, I dated a Pro Baseball player who was from Puerto Rico. The only English he knew was how to "parrot" the "Pardon, do you have any Grey Poupon Mustard"? (Yup that got old fast.)

We learned how to gesture, exaggerate facial expressions, draw pictures, pantomime and always carry a pocket translating dictionary. Oh and as S'matterbaby said... speak the language of loooove. lol

Le Pew
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 13
Why are girls from Philippines mailing me?
Posted: 1/19/2016 7:14:56 PM
2 words:

Green card.


I think I might try pretending I don't speak English.


Que????
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 12/24/2015
Msg: 14
Why are girls from Philippines mailing me?
Posted: 1/19/2016 7:59:26 PM
^ Fermer la bouche.
 Canandaigua_Momma
Joined: 12/16/2015
Msg: 15
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Why are girls from Philippines mailing me?
Posted: 1/19/2016 8:11:27 PM
TO: craig2th

You could adjust your POF settings so that only women in the United States can make contact.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 16
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Why are girls from Philippines mailing me?
Posted: 1/20/2016 8:08:04 AM

So my question is, has anyone successfully dated a non-English speaker? If so, how?


Define successful? :)

My first experience with dating in a foreign country was in 2009, I lived with a woman for 3 weeks, she only spoke a few words of English. She got more frustrated by it than I did, but it was tiresome. She wasn't computer literate, so that didn't help, though she was pretty good with smartphones. She had a volatile personality.

I intended to come back and see if we could take things to a level where I felt we could get along better, but I also set up dates with other women. After meeting my wife, I canceled our planned meet. That created a fair amount of drama, I canceled over text, she did know the word "chicken shit". My deciding to cancel spending more time with her was based on I wouldn't continue to date her if she spoke perfect English and she lived in my neighborhood. In fact, IMO I cut her some slack because she didn't understand English well. Maybe things could have worked out better if I spoke Thai, but maybe it would have just prolonged a less than ideal relationship.

Perhaps one danger is in thinking you aren't getting along as well as you want and think it's just the language barrier.

One time when we were riding in her friends car, I knew she was talking about me with her friend. So I recorded the conversation on my IPOD and played it back for a friend that spoke both Thai and English. Interesting.

Lack of a common language creates some misunderstandings, you have to be very clear and make sure the other person gets it. Someone has to have the desire/ability to eventually learn the others language.

Directions to places are hard to understand without a common language. Anything complicated.

I have gone to many Thai movies with English subtitles, or English with Thai subtitles. Two movies entirely in Thai. Films that are mostly action / adventure are surprisingly easy to follow, I think it was "The day after Tomorrow", but despite knowing the story, Alice in Wonderland with Johnny Depp was frustrating to not understand the dialogue.

I did talk to a potential date that spoke no English, she had her friend act as an interpreter. She spoke no English, I didn't meet her, as she was 18 and wanted to get married. Way too much for me to deal with, I had no interest in marriage and that was along with her not speaking English. I didn't want to get involved, I am pretty sure it would have created too many difficulties.

Conversing via Skype or similar isn't too difficult, you can use google translate when you get into difficulty, combining speech with text.

I think it's like any other kind of dating, but more so. If you like and get along with the person, you can work around it, but any conflicts / differences in personality get magnified by poor communications.

Yesterday, I asked my wife if she would be interested in a Bruce Springsteen concert, she said, "who is that"? Hard to believe she had no idea. But she is really into Adam Levine / Maroon 5, I didn't know much about the group till I met my wife.

Often I do like NOT speaking Thai, it keeps me out of trouble with my wife's family.
 maybeebaybee1
Joined: 1/3/2016
Msg: 17
Why are girls from Philippines mailing me?
Posted: 1/20/2016 10:21:29 AM
Oh come on, OP ... ever heard of a "green card"?
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 18
Why are girls from Philippines mailing me?
Posted: 1/20/2016 1:26:58 PM
"Oh come on, OP ... ever heard of a "green card"?"

Is that a card you show at the grocery store checkout to get a discount on vegetables?
Does it look similar to a Walgreen card?
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 19
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Why are girls from Philippines mailing me?
Posted: 1/20/2016 9:42:52 PM
Message #1.

I was wondering too why some men from UK, Italy and Spain are emailing me, Perhaps they think I am a retired Gold Diggers from the Philippines very rich hottie older woman residing in the USA.. I hope ,I am very wrong thinking that they are Gigolo after my USD. that I worked hard for it ,working 2 jobs supporting my ailing late (white ) husband,until he passed away....
.
So what can I say craig2th we are on the same pond of a lots of other fish here at POF..
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