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 mercaro
Joined: 10/23/2015
Msg: 1
Not answering textsPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Ok. If a person txt me I answer as soon as I get it. So when I get txt from a friend and it's important to them the texts are answered quickly back to me. But when I text them and it's not important to them I get texted many hours later or day later. What's the deal? I know they got it because they are phone addicted.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 2
Not answering texts
Posted: 1/23/2016 8:37:07 AM
How does it affect your life-your day-to-day routine and job, if you don't get an immediate response? So who is the one that's phone addicted? Have you ever tried using any other phone function, such as the part that transmits voice, where vocal cords are used to convey information and thoughts? Whenever I used that part of a phone and had a real conversation, I have never had to wait hours or a day later for a response. Research how to use that function and give it a try some time.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 3
Not answering texts
Posted: 1/23/2016 8:59:04 AM
I have to remind myself to carry my phone with me. And I have two. One for workey and my own personal one. Instant text replying is for people that have way to much freaking time on your hands. As maleman stated, if you want instant gratification with communication, try calling her up and see if she is available to actually "talk".
 trinity818
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 4
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History
Not answering texts
Posted: 1/23/2016 9:13:31 AM

Ok. If a person txt me I answer as soon as I get it.


Presumably not while driving.

I don't text or make personal calls when I am working either. Unless it's urgent business, it can wait. Sometimes my phone is not in the room with me. I don't always know a text has come in.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 5
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Not answering texts
Posted: 1/23/2016 12:48:50 PM
This is one of the most frustrating things about texting -that people think because *they* choose to send me a message, it somehow obligates me to follow THEIR communication rules.

How would this work for you in the other situations?
~You walk in the door at home and your partner says they've made you a meal, so you MUST eat it RIGHT NOW. Regardless of where you've just been, what you've recently eaten, or what your plans are for the next few hours?
~Your mother buys you a new item of clothing and then insists you take off what you are wearing and wear the new item immediately? Regardless of whether it is not appropriate for where you are, or where you are going, or if you even like it?
~A work colleague leaves a report on your desk with a sticky not asking if you could kindly review the document for them. They return three minutes later and demand to know why you haven't done it? Regardless of your own work priorities, toilet break, need for coffee, intrusive text messages to respond to etc etc.

I rarely respond to text messages immediately. I'm not phone addicted, BUT, even when I have my phone with me and can hear a message arrive, I don't even always check the phone. I sometimes go a day without replying to a non-emergency message.

I've explained to my family and friends that if they need a quick response, they need to call, otherwise I'll assume it's not urgent and I'll respond at MY convenience.
 BlackOnyx48
Joined: 1/7/2016
Msg: 6
Not answering texts
Posted: 1/23/2016 2:10:11 PM
I live in the real world, and won't tolerate those who don't.

I never expect anyone to do for me, what I won't do for them...when I get a text or call, I try to return it within 3 hours.
Of course, if its someone I don't want to be bothered with...closer to 3 hrs...and I expect the same.

If somebody returned my text more then 3 hours after I sent it...they wouldn't hear from me again.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 7
Not answering texts
Posted: 1/23/2016 2:31:01 PM
Like people who are notoriously late, some people are really bad at returning texts .

How do I deal with them ? I only text them when absolutely necessary.

You get what you give.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 8
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Not answering texts
Posted: 1/23/2016 2:48:15 PM

Ok. If a person txt me I answer as soon as I get it. So when I get txt from a friend and it's important to them the texts are answered quickly back to me. But when I text them and it's not important to them I get texted many hours later or day later. What's the deal? I know they got it because they are phone addicted.

I see the OP's already gone. Wonder who it really was?

Anyway, this comes up A LOT on online forums, especially those about dating. And it's too bad the OP left, because he/she/it managed to include a whole rack of combined problems and notions about this, all in one single short fuss post.

Others have already said good stuff, but I'll go over them again just for completeness.

* " If a person txt me I answer as soon as I get it."

Actually, this isn't as significant as the OP thinks, even if it's true. The technology isn't as reliable as the OP thinks. Not all texts go through instantly. But moving on...

* "So when I get txt from a friend and it's important to them the texts are answered quickly back to me. But when I text them and it's not important to them I get texted many hours later or day later."

This isn't a FACT, it is a deduction by the OP. This is among the most important problems behind rants like this. In addition to being factually unsupportable (there's no way to prove that how fast the response is, is directly proportional to how important the subject is), it's based on only the ONE persons interpretation of importance.

In fact, as some have already hinted at or said, for plenty of people, the opposite is actually true: things they respond quickly to, are the silly stuff, the nonsense stuff, and the who-cares stuff. But when the subject is important, it requires thought and care in framing a response, so the answers will come more slowly. I know plenty of people, who when they answer me right away, I know from experience that they are reacting impersonally, by rote. Not from the heart, or from the mind.

* " I know they got it because they are phone addicted."

Again, this isn't a true FACT, it's not even a DEDUCTION. It's just the OPINION of the OP, and a rather manipulative and accusatory one at that.

In that sense, it fits right in, again, with the many other similar complaints posted here. People who make complaints like this, are often driven by the same basic thing: they want everyone to go by THEIR claimed standards of behavior. Often not because they've thought out their standards all that well, but because by pretending they ARE standards, they hope to force their target to respond to them at will, and to be otherwise under their control.

What this sort of post really goes to the heart of, is the difference between having rules, guidelines, standards of behavior, and what we sometimes refer to as etiquette or politeness...all for the sake of making social situations go more smoothly and MUTUALLY comfortably... and instead, trying to use these same things, as shackles and cudgels for individuals to get their personal desires fulfilled at the EXPENSE of everyone else.
 Commatoes
Joined: 1/20/2016
Msg: 9
Not answering texts
Posted: 1/23/2016 5:12:18 PM
Sorry
I have to type it up on word.
Run spell check.
See if I meant what I thought I said.
Edit.
Run spell check.
Remember to never argue with someone that
can type faster than me.
Forget the topic.
Repeat.

Sigh!!!
 8inscrew
Joined: 11/17/2014
Msg: 10
Not answering texts
Posted: 1/23/2016 5:59:36 PM
I can have my phone in my hand and not hear it ring.
I frustrate people a lot with this.
It frustrates me that I can't do anything about it
but makes it easy to weed ***holes out of my life.
Wear an ear piece most waking hours and available to talk, still miss a lot of texts.

I hate text because my fingers don't seem to touch the screen right.
Takes me forever to tap out a long message. Then I reread... yo u k,nop w .?
It is great for a lot of things though. A text can be confirmation and proof a handshake deal is legit.

Smart phones are amazing. Like the internal combustion engine... they will alter the world.
They make us impatient though.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 11
Not answering texts
Posted: 1/23/2016 6:41:22 PM
I'm usually good with returning texts. But my phone is on silent and in my purse/on my desk most of the time, inside the leather case. I only respond to texts when I remember to check the phone to see if anyone texted/called. With people who are always good with returning texts, I try to do the same. With people who don't text back or do it very late, I do the same as well. If I need to talk about something serious or urgent, I prefer to call.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 12
Not answering texts
Posted: 1/23/2016 8:39:49 PM
Text and e-mail are not time sensitive. If you want a quick response - go find the person or make a call. The point of texting and e-mailing is that it's supposed to be done at someone's convenience. It's not supposed to be a leash. People get back to you when they can/when they want to. Deal with it.
 deetristate
Joined: 12/4/2014
Msg: 13
Not answering texts
Posted: 1/24/2016 5:05:53 AM
Call them????????????????????????????????????????????
( only added because it would not show if too short.)
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 14
Not answering texts
Posted: 1/24/2016 9:57:55 AM
I found a very effective solution when it comes to people being anal about the timing of text messages. I don't text. Never have and probably never will. The number one reason is I have no desire to be on call 24/7. If somebody wants to get a hold of me, either e-mail me or use the phone as a phone, and call at a reasonable time (meaning, don't call me at 3 or 4 in the morning, and ask me "So what are you up to?" That's normal in the texting world, but not in my world}. The second reason is because of what's being discussed here, where everybody has a very strict time frame where it's imperative, almost a life and death situation, when texts must be responded to, almost down to the microsecond. People become very text retarded, and it's especially apparent when they use text speak.
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 15
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Not answering texts
Posted: 1/24/2016 11:25:28 AM
Message 6 ...
If somebody returned my text more then 3 hours after I sent it...they wouldn't hear from me again.

Onyx ... there are those of us who don't always carry our phone with us. When I have a singing performance, there is no way I can even carry a phone ... my costumes do not have a pocket and besides, that would be totally unacceptable for me to be sitting in costume at a performance texting away on my phone ... even if I'm not singing while the men perform a song.

Also, last night I was in charge of a function at our club ... no time to do anything on my phone. I got there a 3PM and worked steadily through until around 9PM (doing various different tasks) and while I was counting money, I got my phone out to use the calculator and noticed my daughter had texted me. I read the text but did not reply until I got home after 11PM ... because it was not an emergency on her part.

Are you serious? You would really never text anyone again if they left more than 3 hours go by before answering?

I personally just try to use my phone for emergencies when I'm not home. My generation grew up with phones that had to have a cord or you couldn't talk, mail that had to have a stamp or your message did not get delivered. We communicated with our guys in Vietnam through snail mail ... that took weeks to get a letter and it took still more weeks for them to get their letters.

We have current military people whining about not getting a text every night or day from home. I know they're involved in some pretty dangerous stuff, but so were our Vietnam military personnel and they were not whining about not getting mail every day. Some of them were out alone in the jungles for months at a time and only surfaced long enough to let their CO know they were still okay. (A friend of mine was a marine in recognizance and told me he barely saw a military base the whole time he was over there.)

OP ... detach yourself from your phone and get a life!
 BlackOnyx48
Joined: 1/7/2016
Msg: 16
Not answering texts
Posted: 1/24/2016 12:24:47 PM
^^^^^^^^^
"cotter"...my lifestyle belong to me...which is why I'm not concerned about what others think...
It's not necessary for other's to like, or understand my habits...unless you're a part of my life, and then it shouldn't matter.

I do understand the primitive way of life you described, and yes we all did that, however now there's an easier way.
As I said before, I may not be able to take a call, or answer a text the minute it comes in...but I do make an effort to return it as soon as possible, which shouldn't take any longer then 3 hours regardless the reason for the contact...otherwise I may not have my phone with me, or the battery is dead, that would be easily explained...this is what I do, and I expect the same without exception...PERIOD....
 warmlightning
Joined: 1/15/2016
Msg: 17
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Not answering texts
Posted: 1/24/2016 3:26:32 PM
blackonyx48

I live in the real world, and won't tolerate those who don't.
when I get a text or call, I try to return it within 3 hours.
If somebody returned my text more then 3 hours after I sent it...they wouldn't hear from me again.


I agree with returning text within a reasonable timeline (especially if concerns business). But I disagree with writing the return texter off completely if they didn't follow my complicit guidelines without their prior knowledge of my personal parameters.
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 18
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Not answering texts
Posted: 1/24/2016 5:05:56 PM
Message 16 ...
... this is what I do, and I expect the same without exception...PERIOD....
To that, I would say that as long as everyone in your "text group" understands your rules, there shouldn't be any problems.

I have to interact with so many different groups of people that I can't live by such basic rules. I admire people who have such uncomplicated lives ... sigh. Hats off to you.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 19
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Not answering texts
Posted: 1/24/2016 7:59:47 PM
I only answer the phone or texts when I want to, which unless it's family, is going to be hardly ever. It's the same reason I only answer the door if I want to, that's why there's a door there, that's why the phone or a text lets me know it's there but does not instantly connect me with the person contacting me. Yes I know for many people that is unacceptable, just like for me not answering is what's acceptable for me.
 BlackOnyx48
Joined: 1/7/2016
Msg: 20
Not answering texts
Posted: 1/25/2016 4:40:34 PM
you know what I miss...remember when you could slam dunk the phone in somebody's face....you know it would actually hurt their ear....can't do that with a cellphone, miss that....
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 21
Not answering texts
Posted: 1/25/2016 5:57:28 PM
^^^^ that was funny when I heard it on last week’s episode of “Younger.” :D
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 22
Not answering texts
Posted: 1/25/2016 7:18:43 PM
There is a Seinfeld episode about that (Jerry's standup).
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 23
Not answering texts
Posted: 1/25/2016 10:39:53 PM
A recurring theme in so MANY tales of "woe, heartache, misery and misunderstanding" at MANY of these Forums is peoples addiction to and reliance upon their "smartphones"...

BUT...as long as folks "smartphones" have them believing "I am so much cooler online" things will continue to slide downhill for many of them.

Any day now Brad Paisley iis likely to write and record a song, "My smartphone ruined my life."
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 24
Not answering texts
Posted: 1/26/2016 3:23:05 AM
^^^True... smartphones are awesome but should not be used as the sole or primary method of communication in a relationship.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 25
Not answering texts
Posted: 1/26/2016 4:41:43 AM

As I said before, I may not be able to take a call, or answer a text the minute it comes in...but I do make an effort to return it as soon as possible, which shouldn't take any longer then 3 hours regardless the reason for the contact...otherwise I may not have my phone with me, or the battery is dead, that would be easily explained...this is what I do, and I expect the same without exception...PERIOD....


So, are we saying, we, each as an individual, should make it known to all that require it, are own little rules about phone and texting protocol? As in, what's the deal with the 3 hour thingy? Why not 2 hours? Why not 4? When I'm doing what I do in my free time, it is very wise of me to make sure I don't have a phone on my person. I wade rivers when I fish. Phones don't like swimming, and yes, I do fall into the river, when I'm out and about. From experience, they no workey after a dunking. So, being smart, I eliminate the phone from my day, which could easily be over 12 hours long, let alone not picking up a signal on the drive home. It's actually very good for my mental health after a week of work being "connected".

There are a million zillion reasons for what some consider "slow/tardy" replies. None should be dismissed because of your own practises.
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