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 T731
Joined: 5/27/2012
Msg: 1
Is this pointless!!!!!!Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Is it actually possible to meet someone on this site? Seems as if it's nearly impossible! If you're lucky enough to waste a night trying to get to know someone, the next day good luck getting a reply. I've named it the Buffet Effect. Once they get contacted by somebody else, you will never hear back from them. Or, they contact you, you reply to them, and that's it. Or my favorite. Being Favorited, and you respond, and they don't. But they keep favoriting you. After 3 years of on again off again frustration, the pattern never changes!
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 2
Is this pointless!!!!!!
Posted: 1/25/2016 7:37:33 PM
OP why do you have more photos of your dog than of you? Which one of you is trying to get a date?
 geekgrrrl
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 3
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Is this pointless!!!!!!
Posted: 1/25/2016 7:50:56 PM
T731 hey! I'm right here and looking for a guy who is looking for more then to get his appendage wet! :)
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 4
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Is this pointless!!!!!!
Posted: 1/25/2016 7:56:33 PM
welcome to the online dating game!!!!. I believe it is worse now that it was in the past for fakes and flakes.

The only solution is to look around in real life for a connection and just use this as an option and with very low expectations. What you experience is very common and you need a strong ego not to be affected by all the shenanigans. After three years you should know this.

We get that you love your dog but the pics are way over the top and excessive.

Women want to see you full length in good light and smiling. The no shave look does nothing for me personally. Being a smoker is a drawback, for some, pardon the pun.


 Yule_liquor
Joined: 12/7/2011
Msg: 5
Is this pointless!!!!!!
Posted: 1/25/2016 8:15:13 PM

After 3 years of on again off again frustration, the pattern never changes!


Yes, especially for those who keep doing the same ol' thing and expect different results.
 Llove2laughtoo
Joined: 1/11/2016
Msg: 6
Is this pointless!!!!!!
Posted: 1/25/2016 8:22:12 PM

Is it actually possible to meet someone on this site?


Of course it's possible. It works for me.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 7
Is this pointless!!!!!!
Posted: 1/25/2016 8:42:23 PM

Is it actually possible to meet someone on this site?


Yes.
I have done it in the past.
But not lately.


Seems as if it's nearly impossible!


It IS nearly impossible for most guys at the present time.


After 3 years of on again off again frustration, the pattern never changes!


Sadly, the last 2-3 years have been the worst for online dating in the last 10 years, and maybe even since online dating began.
Women overall just do not participate as fully in the process as they used to.

I was there when they did.
 michelinman2
Joined: 1/11/2016
Msg: 8
Is this pointless!!!!!!
Posted: 1/25/2016 9:19:45 PM
^^^^^ Full moon, you say women don't participate as fully anymore, why do you think that is? Is it an age thing ... they were more into dating in their 40s than they seem to be in their 50s and beyond ? Some wome, as well as some men, just got tired of the b.s.? Can't be bothered? Maybe some have come to embrace their singleness? Do we, both genders, just get fed up with online and move to real life or just make a life?

Just wondering why.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 12/24/2015
Msg: 9
Is this pointless!!!!!!
Posted: 1/25/2016 9:29:39 PM

Is this pointless!!!!!!


Is this a statement, or a question???
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 10
Is this pointless!!!!!!
Posted: 1/25/2016 9:31:10 PM
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly...

First... the Good. It IS still possible to meet ladies on this site, but as others have alluded, it's not as "easy" as it was 5 years ago. I give the direct blame/credit for this on most people's ADDICTION to their "smart phones" and all the "power" it affords them. Their phones SEEM to give them such CONTROL over all they survey. A complete illusion.

More good. You can improve your odds/"luck" tremendously by doing just a few simple things. Post BETTER pics. ARE your current ones the best you can do? It does NOT matter if you are not photogenic/hate having your pic taken or that you are almost always behind the camera. You need at least 2 if not 3 "good ones" with dates/captions that you rotate at least every other day.

The Bad. Your profile [IMO] though well written is bursting at the seams with negativity. The tiny percentage of women who actually READ profiles won't go far in yours before they move on to the next one. Why not submit it to Profile Reviews for thoughts/opinions? You are not under any requirement to take any advice given.

The "Ugly"? Being a smoker is not helping your cause any. Worse, it's great that you are honest but ladies who read your entire profile won't like the bottom part at all regardless of the why.

IF you learn to "utilize" all the site features, that will also help your cause somewhat. The only way to do that is by playing with them and seeing what options some of them will open up and which ones are useless to you.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 11
Is this pointless!!!!!!
Posted: 1/26/2016 4:13:48 AM
Agreed... why have such a long detailed profile if it's so negative and a turnoff in the end. It should be 3 times shorter and all positive.

Fullmoonguy - yes, like it or not... many women are not into online dating. I have at least 4 single friends my age (mid to late thirties, early forties), we all have a nonexistent love life and none of us have an online profile.I asked my friend the other day - why exactly are you so reluctant to put up a profile online? She said, I just hate it. Hate this artificial way of meeting people. Being one of the many many women that the same man writes to within the hour. The sexual comments. The appearing and disappearing. Ugh.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 12
Is this pointless!!!!!!
Posted: 1/26/2016 5:24:31 AM
Of course it works. But if you feel it is pointless why not take a break and regroup?
btw, first meets or a date doesn't auto lead to a wedding. :/
NJGirl - that;s interesting, so where are they meeting Men or are they just not looking at all?
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 13
Is this pointless!!!!!!
Posted: 1/26/2016 5:45:02 AM
Some not looking at all, some open to real life meetings if they feel like going out. Nobody is methodical about it.
 benartflick
Joined: 3/8/2012
Msg: 14
Is this pointless!!!!!!
Posted: 1/26/2016 5:51:29 AM

"waste a night trying to get to know someone,"


Are you suggesting you don't enjoy the time spent on a first meet or first date?


"Is it actually possible to meet someone on this site?"


Of course! There are plenty of fish here. Finding a match might be difficult. Perhaps your 'Buffet Effect' might have something to do with that.

I can't imagine why the young folks here (late 30's and early 40's) aren't hooking up. They should be enjoying life while they can.

What could possibly be for fun than dating? I enjoy golfing but dating is slightly better. Well, sometimes it is.
 Nth_degree1111
Joined: 9/16/2009
Msg: 15
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Is this pointless!!!!!!
Posted: 1/26/2016 9:09:40 AM

^^^^^ Full moon, you say women don't participate as fully anymore, why do you think that is? Is it an age thing ... they were more into dating in their 40s than they seem to be in their 50s and beyond ? Some wome, as well as some men, just got tired of the b.s.? Can't be bothered? Maybe some have come to embrace their singleness? Do we, both genders, just get fed up with online and move to real life or just make a life?


While all of this might be true, it doesn’t really address the question. People might be dropping out because of the above reasons, which are based mostly on frustrations encountered in the process. However, there is also a constant, even increasing use of OLD, so while people drop out they are being replaced. The problem is that people are now coming to the site with a different attitude to begin with. The comment about women not participating as much seems to be true. I’m amazed by how many profiles contain little to no information. That was rare 6-8 years ago, but is quite common now. These aren’t people who have been frustrated by years of futility, but enter the market place with an already bad attitude.


You need at least 2 if not 3 "good ones" with dates/captions that you rotate at least every other day.


Ah, the “rotate your pics” gambit! I actually feel annoyed when I think there is a new profile, only to see that it is someone who has been on here for years, and they’ve shuffled their pictures. How does that help? If you’ve already decided against a person, how will a new pic change that? And if someone doesn’t already recognize you from your pic, then your profile is probably new to them, and it really shouldn’t matter which pic you have as the main. I guess that could work if someone rejects a profile based on the main pic and doesn’t even click the profile to see the others, so that a different pic might spark some interest that the previous one didn’t, but that seems marginal.
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 16
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Is this pointless!!!!!!
Posted: 1/26/2016 9:17:25 AM

I guess that could work if someone rejects a profile based on the main pic and doesn’t even click the profile to see the others, so that a different pic might spark some interest that the previous one didn’t, but that seems marginal.


The result is often more than marginal. It can be substantial. That was my experience and I'm pretty sure it's been SLAFFA's, as well.
 Nth_degree1111
Joined: 9/16/2009
Msg: 17
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Is this pointless!!!!!!
Posted: 1/26/2016 9:32:09 AM
I guess if the first pic was bad, and you changed it to a substantially better pic, that could happen. Not arguing with you, just curious. Glad it works for someone.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 18
Is this pointless!!!!!!
Posted: 1/26/2016 9:36:03 AM
If people would get rid of the watermarked ones.. I know they are old.
I guess rotating helps.. certain people drawn to colours, background, etc.
Like selling on eBay, poor photos mean less money
 PennyAnte
Joined: 11/9/2014
Msg: 19
Is this pointless!!!!!!
Posted: 1/26/2016 9:44:41 AM
If it's broke.. fix it. Change the pattern. Change the way you think about online dating and things will change. The only thing ruining this experience for you is your expectations. Go with the flow and see what the good Lord brings your way and stop trying to make romance just happen. You can not find chemistry and all the good things you are looking for in one wasted night .Slow down your roll and stop being so negative on your profile. Write something there that will make the ladies smile.
It appears you are the common denominator in your complaint here ... this suggest the only one that needs to change is you. Change the way you think and the experience here will change.
 dallaskeenan
Joined: 6/21/2014
Msg: 20
Is this pointless!!!!!!
Posted: 1/26/2016 9:49:06 AM
Wow, Im hearing stuff from the X-Files! Sounds so transparent and halfhearted. But look at profiles....since when did/should women have to categorically state they didnt want sex on first date/booty calls, or in many cases the expletive is used!
Nobody "dates" it's a recon of territory not yet known to be friendly....after 4-6 texts/calls of questions then a interrogation like quick public meet...anyone's romantic flame has long been doused. Im an old dinosaur and am fine with that. The point is..be fine with yourself and don't respond meet anyone. P.O.F. is getting closer and closer to craigs list ...where soon only the bold will be joining.

Cheers
 michelinman2
Joined: 1/11/2016
Msg: 21
Is this pointless!!!!!!
Posted: 1/26/2016 9:56:52 AM

IF you learn to "utilize" all the site features, that will also help your cause somewhat. The only way to do that is by playing with them and seeing what options some of them will open up and which ones are useless to you.


I disagree Slaffa as all this hasn't worked for you Slaffa. You change up your pictures, you have a lot of pictures, you have a detailed profile and yet you've been here for 9 years. They system hasn't seemed to work for you. As an aside, when I read your profile I see a very controlling and anal retentive man that is a little "it's my way or the highway". JMO and I could be wrong but that how I see it.

Who knows what "clicks", what is the magic thing that makes a person go "I'd like to get to know this guy/gal". Its a crap shoot at best.
 Nth_degree1111
Joined: 9/16/2009
Msg: 22
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Is this pointless!!!!!!
Posted: 1/26/2016 10:15:44 AM

That was my experience and I'm pretty sure it's been SLAFFA's, as well.


Wait, you mean the same SLAFFA that doesn't even post pics on his profile?

/I know, he probably did at one time
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 23
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Is this pointless!!!!!!
Posted: 1/26/2016 10:19:46 AM
^^^^ He almost always has pictures posted. Currently, he doesn't.
 Llove2laughtoo
Joined: 1/11/2016
Msg: 24
Is this pointless!!!!!!
Posted: 1/26/2016 11:01:55 AM

Msg: 22
You have a detailed profile and yet you've been here for 9 years.


Who keeps track of members sign-up date? If a forum member have been here 9 years, and you are aware of it, it means you have been here much longer than the person you are now criticizing. Don’t you think?


I disagree Slaffa as all this hasn't worked for you Slaffa. As an aside, when I read your profile I see a very controlling and anal retentive man that is a little "it's my way or the highway". JMO and I could be wrong but that how I see it. They system hasn't seemed to work for you.


Is there an unwritten rule we don’t know about, where forum members are required to report when they connect with a partner? Is there a penalty if we do not hook up
 kj521
Joined: 9/20/2015
Msg: 25
Is this pointless!!!!!!
Posted: 1/26/2016 11:30:24 AM
"Who keeps track of members sign-up date?"


POF does.



<------------------------------------ :)



I kinda think it's a crap shoot, too, but it certainly can't hurt to do two things my Nana said was very important in life.....

1. Put your best foot forward (might need someone to help you figure out which foot is better)
And....
2. Always wear clean underwear (for lots of reasons that are pretty much self explanatory ) :D
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