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Joined: 1/11/2014
Msg: 1
A little advice, please?Page 1 of 1    
I've been using POF for years, but haven't had much success. A couple first dates, but never a relationship. I've always thought it might be my poor conversational skills, but hardly anyone responds to my messages. So, maybe it's my profile. Any advice you could give me would be greatly appreciated. :)
Joined: 12/11/2015
Msg: 2
A little advice, please?
Posted: 1/26/2016 11:28:24 PM
Your t-shirt collection looks low-rent. Dress for the girl you want to get. If that girl also doesn't try very hard to look good and wears t-shirts every day, then you are already all set. The picture with your mouth open is very scary.
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 3
A little advice, please?
Posted: 1/27/2016 7:32:29 AM
Why no big smile? You could probably add more photos of you outdoors or doing something - got any recent holiday photos? You are tall, blond and employed - why not post photos that show off a big smile on a big guy.

If your church is truly important, you should add the word either "Church" or "Faith" in your Interests field. Once that's done, you can click on it and find girls in your area with the same word in their Interests field. In your profile body, do mention if you are open to meeting someone who is not the same faith. No need to go on and on about it, but if it's that important to you, someone may feel you'd not be interested if they were (for example) Anglican or something.

If you're going to mention Netflix, give an example of a show you love to watch, or type of show/movie. You need to pop in little details to be different from the rest of the herd.

The last paragraph needs a rephrase. Someone reading this isn't going to commit to loving you forever at this point, how about just getting past a 20-minute coffee date? What kind of personality are you attracted to? You also mention having in-depth conversations, yet here you mention your lack of conversation skills. How does that work??? Do you lack the ability to make small talk yet can talk for hours on one specific topic? Is this something you are working on?

Start with the smiling photos - a clear, well lit shoulders up shot as your main is a priority.
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 4
A little advice, please?
Posted: 1/27/2016 1:03:07 PM

hardly anyone responds to my messages.

"So Sally tell me about Adam?"
He's awkward.

I suggest replacing your "Headline"
with something else. Let me break
it down into three sections.

ThisAdamGuy20X6: Awkward, Funny Guy Looking For Love

"Awkward" is the word you decided to lead with?
Dude, you are stepping on your dcik with that opening.

Plus, you follow with "Funny Guy"?
Your profile was devoid of any humour.

If humor, is like a tall glass of cool water.
Your profile read about as dry as a cotton ball!
If you have anything remotely fun or funny to say,
NOW is the time to do it. Do it on your profile!

Finally, "Looking For Love".
Most young women read that part, as follows. . .
Looking For SEX.

Love might be a long way away.

Mentioning it in your "Headline" sets the bar
mighty high. How about showing them
you can chew with your mouth closed first.
Can converse without mentioning their boobs.
And, will show up for a first date wearing
a shirt with buttons and a collar. (No T-shirt.)

Then, somewhere between one month and twelve,
when the feelings seem mutual, natural and organic.
Then, is the time to drop the "L" bomb. Love.
Good luck!
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 5
view profile
A little advice, please?
Posted: 1/27/2016 4:01:37 PM
Couple of questions:

Your personality is 'bookworm' what are you reading at the moment? What are your top 3 fav books of all time?

Do you ever wear anything other than tshirts? On a first date not many women would be impressed by a tshirt with an american flag on it. You need to show you can 'scrub up well' give them a glimpse of what to expect on a first date with you.
Joined: 1/11/2014
Msg: 6
A little advice, please?
Posted: 1/27/2016 5:39:22 PM
All right, answering questions in the order they were received...

1. I don't have a very good looking smile. I have a bad underbite, so I have to be careful or risk looking ugly.

2. I do struggle with conversations. For one, I'm terrible at starting them. That's why my messages usually go something like, "You sound like a really cool woman! My name's Adam. I'm not very good at starting conversations, but I'd like to get to know you. Want to chat?" If I spy something we have in common on their profile, I might ask, "What kind of stories do you write?" or "who's your favorite author?" I am bad at small talk, though, which is why I try to jump straight into our shared interests right away. If we both liked writing books or the same video games, then yeah I could talk for hours to them about it.

3. Okay, I've changed my headline. I've also added in a couple more pictures, one of me at graduation and two wearing a nice collared shirt.

4. I do have a sense of humor, and I do make people laugh really easily in the right setting, but... it's not really a kind of humor that's easily portrayed over text. Maybe once we start the conversation, but not when I'm just talking about myself.

Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 7
A little advice, please?
Posted: 1/27/2016 6:52:44 PM
The main photo you have now is cute. Just sayin'...

The basic generic introduction messages will probably be seen as cut-and-paste type messages as they are not specific to the receiver. It's safer to go with something specific from her profile and ask a question about it. When you say "want to chat?", it could be seen as too forward at this point. unfortunately, many guys use 'chat' as an introduction to sexting and the young women figure it out real quick.

The initial message is simply to establish a first communication. Once you have a few back-and-forth messages, you can simply ask if she'd like to continue the conversation over a [beverage of choice]. Those that are wasting time will evaporate. Those that don't should be fun to get to know.
Show ALL Forums  > Profile Reviews  > A little advice, please?