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 FuelTheSoul
Joined: 11/23/2015
Msg: 1
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Review PleasePage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I'm new to the forums, I've never posted here before. So, I hope I'm doing this right?
It says this is the place to get a review? I'd like to hear some opinions, Thank You.
I know my bio isn't the greatest but that's okay.
I don't think people care too much about what a person says on POF about themselves.
They just look at the pictures and decide based upon that only, whether the person is attractive enough or not, right?
So, am I wasting my time? Should I just delete my profile and move on with life?
I know I'm no Johnny Depp or Matt Mcconaughey, but I'm not "Sloth" of the Goonies either, LOL.
The reason I ask is I've written several women but none answer.
And no I'm not hitting up the 9's and 10's.
I'm more interested in women who are normal, "average"; I think that's the word most people would use.
I'm not going to settle for ugly, or fat just like none of you would. I'd rather remain single.
So, either I've got the looks or I don't, which is it? Please speak up I'm not going to be offended.
I'm just looking for an honest answer and I can't seem to get one anywhere else.
On a scale of 1- 10 where do I set?
 Cirice_
Joined: 1/12/2016
Msg: 2
Review Please
Posted: 1/31/2016 8:43:34 AM
Hey Fuel,

Rating your looks on a scale from 1-10 isn't going to help you with your fishing experiment- besides it wouldn't be an accurate calculation anyways - But I will gladly give you some advice on how to jazz your profile, and you can decide if I make sense or not.

You look like a fit and outdoorsy guy - but your only pic makes you look severe, your arms are crossed, you're not smiling, and you got those shades on. I would add some pics, that would show off a friendly side of you. We want to see smiles and eyes!


I'll be honest I don't have much faith in this online thing. Seems like window shopping to me with no substance. Whatever though, right? Wished I could get my best qualities to shine online, but humor and charm just can't be seen, it has to be felt


Honest, yeah, but negative.


maybe 2 years older than myself if you look nice.


You kinda contradict yourself....you complain that the site is like window shopping without substance, then write that you'll date someone a bit older IF they look nice......That's going to turn off a lot of women, of every age, even the nice looking ones.

That entire paragraph is a '' I don't want'' list- which makes you look like a negative Nancy. Erase all that, and do a '' I would like to meet'' list instead. Example : say that you have a soft spot for short women instead of '' YOU MUST NOT BE OVER 5'8''.

Besides....what happens if there's a nice looking lady that's 5'9? Don't be specific, or closed to the idea- you could be sticking sticks into your own wheels.
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 3
Review Please
Posted: 1/31/2016 8:44:51 AM
Well, this is just my opinion of course...

I have met "oodles" of women on this site over an 8 year span. [MEETING a bunch IS what it takes to find one that is a good match] Of course they wrote to me [almost exclusively] when I have pics showing. Some wrote w/o any pics of themselves up and some immediately sent pics when I replied to their initial email. I never asked anyone for pics and never will. Some I met w/o ever seeing a pic, based on the quality of her profile and how well we matched up. I have never met anything close to a "loser" at any site and I am not so silly as to plan a "long"/possibly 20$ to 50$ first meet as some women seem to desire. That's sheer madness and a prime recipe for a poor attitude. The reason I mention this is because you have one pic up and it could be/SHOULD BE a whole lot better. I don't ever remember meeting a lady who had only one pic showing. It simply seems suspicious to me. I think you would be better off w/o any pic up. Would you and or have YOU written to any woman with just one "sub par" pic on her profile or do you click on the thumbnails of the "more attractive" women?

As far as your profile itself? I am all for being right up front with specifics and details to eliminate the wasting of anyone's time. You have 10 items in bold. I can think of several more you probably left out.

Maybe that is your problem?
 Forums_only
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 4
Review Please
Posted: 1/31/2016 9:19:25 AM
Some of the reasons you may be finding it difficult to get a reply:

- we have no idea what you look like. Doo-rags and sunglasses cover half your head. If you're all that, prove it.
- a single photo? sorry, doesn't cut it.
- your intent implies casual sex.
- you don't have a car because... too many DUIs?
- many of the Interests are duplicated or fluffy. Trim those to your top 9-12.
- the profile is a laundry list of negativity. Wouldn't you just be a peach to hang out with.
- "if you look nice"? Really?
- age range again implies casual sex an no real interest in connecting with someone your own age. Even if you'd grant an audience to a 'nice looking' lady your own age, anyone with any self-esteem will pass knowing you'll be looking over her shoulder for something younger and perkier. Age restrictions (or ANY restrictions) on a man's profile are laughable. Unless, of course, you are being overwhelmed with incoming messages.

What was your expectation when you signed on here?
 FuelTheSoul
Joined: 11/23/2015
Msg: 5
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Posted: 1/31/2016 10:20:25 AM
I'm listening :)
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 6
Review Please
Posted: 1/31/2016 10:22:05 AM
Hi OP
You thinking of dating a 32 year old? Says that on your profile
Can't see you so no idea of you are fit or not, balding or not, etc.
Everyone else has touched on the negs
If you are indeed charming and witty show it in your words
 irishgirl772
Joined: 6/3/2013
Msg: 7
Review Please
Posted: 1/31/2016 10:30:52 AM
One lousy photo and a long list of requirements are enough to turn off many women. Delete all of it and start over,
 FuelTheSoul
Joined: 11/23/2015
Msg: 8
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Posted: 1/31/2016 10:34:40 AM
No, I'm not thinking of dating a 32 year old, 36 is as low I'll go. I wasn't aware my profile says that, thank you for bring that to my attention. I'll fix immediately.
Negatives? what negatives?
I'm not writer so putting wit & charming in text just isn't something I can do.
But I did find that humorous about the one commenter saying I look like I'm looking for casual sex, LOL
If I was seeking that I could easily go pick up some 20 something year old, up at a bar and get that.
 FuelTheSoul
Joined: 11/23/2015
Msg: 9
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Posted: 1/31/2016 11:15:40 AM
I don't have a problem with the requirements? I see no reason in wasting someone elses time.
I'll agree they probably could be better written, but I'm no writer.
The truth is, I'm not doing the long distant thing. That's not negotiable.
When I say fit I mean average, most everyone else's average ISN"T average, it's overweight!
I'm 6'0" and 175lb and I regularly ride a bicycle and take the stairs everywhere, when it's 5 stories or less.
The age thing is simply because two people really need some commonality
I routinely interact with people of average intelligence but I'm somewhat much smarter.
So, naturally brighter people tend to grab my attention a bit more.
I do like kids and at my age it's a concession I'm more than happy to concede.
There's not a lot women who are childless in my age bracket.
But I'm not going to date some woman who's got 3 or more kids.
As for the seperated thing, I mean that one.
And that meet me thing, that's just dumb. Write or don't write I don't play the meet me thing.

I'm not looking for a booty call or a friend with benefits. And that stupid car question is ridiculous; I've got 3 vehicles.
As for the pictures I don't like cameras, I don't like having my picture taken. I've never seen a picture of myself that I liked, LOL

But I do greatly appreciate all the advice given. I've made some changes. And if one of knows how to better write those requirements without them being so negative, as it's been claimed, then I'm all ears.
 ndm147
Joined: 8/1/2013
Msg: 10
Review Please
Posted: 1/31/2016 11:37:24 AM
You do look very fit in your picture. I understand all of the other qualifications you mentioned for compatibility. But mentioning wanting a woman with an IQ over 130 is well, a bit demanding. Yes, I understand wanting intellectual conversation, perhaps a woman that is well read and very educated, but yet, this is a dating site, not Mensa Society!

You can certainly get a feel for her intellect after texting her and talking on the phone and meeting.
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 11
Review Please
Posted: 1/31/2016 11:47:16 AM
Maybe your experience is different than just about every other guy here, but typically men don't have to weed out the good ones from the masses of messages received. As a rule, the man has to make the first approach. So putting in a bunch of requirements as the vast majority of your profile is probably a mistake.

Usually a guy has to make his profile as appealing as possible. I would lose the photo of you with sunglasses and a do rag. We can't see what you look like, and you don't come across as the friendly, appealing guy you should want to. Wear the smile you would have on when approaching a woman in real life. If you want a smart woman, have some smart stuff in your profile.
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 12
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Posted: 1/31/2016 11:47:59 AM
POFs own advice on profile pictures


As far as other pics, a full length or some type of body shot is good. Just an idea of what you look like in person besides just your face. If you put in group shots, do be sure that it’s obvious who you are. People will not spend the time to figure it out if it’s not obvious.


If it is just "window shopping" then why would you not display you at your very best? 1 photo where your face and hair are covered is a very poor showing.


And you are dead wrong, women pay a lot of attention to what's in a man's profile text. Yours comes across as negative and demanding.


If you want my honest opinion on you based solely on this profile:
2/10
 FuelTheSoul
Joined: 11/23/2015
Msg: 13
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Posted: 1/31/2016 12:02:42 PM
"this is a dating site, not Mensa Society!" LOL
True, and I took your advice and applied your wording in it's place.
As for it being a dating site, it's more like the Animal Shelter, don't you think?
Will I get picked? Will I get picked? Please pick me... LOL

" You can certainly get a feel for her intellect after texting her and talking on the phone and meeting."
That's certainly true, but you actually have to get a message first. And that just isn't happening!

I'm very grateful for your opinion and those of everyone else. Thank You :)
 Cirice_
Joined: 1/12/2016
Msg: 14
Review Please
Posted: 1/31/2016 12:04:10 PM

But I do greatly appreciate all the advice given. I've made some changes. And if one of knows how to better write those requirements without them being so negative, as it's been claimed, then I'm all ears.


It's all about saying the same thing but without using negative sentence structure ( eliminating the ''don't'', the ''no'' etc) - Although your profile is getting better- I still think it needs some more ''happy'' spice. You're still starting off with a negative sentence


I don't have much faith in this online thing. Seems like window shopping to me with no substance.


Wouldn't it be better if you just started your profile off with something more positive like who YOU are, what makes YOU awesome, what kind of positive traits you're looking in someone etc etc- instead of dissing the site?. Everyone knows that the dating market is a pain in the backside, seems kinda pointless in pointing it out- it's just a useless negative sentence. I see loads of things in your Interest lists that you can talk about more in your profile. Landscaping, physical sports, flea markets, boating, concerts...I mean these are cool, positive things to mention right?! You just told us you like bike rides, and taking the stairs, and that kind of stuff. Mention it! It'll attract other bikers, and turn off the ''homebody'' type of ladies without dissing them.


As for the pictures I don't like cameras, I don't like having my picture taken. I've never seen a picture of myself that I liked, LOL


The story of everyone's life ;) We are all pretty harsh on ourselves- but still, find at least one more! Your profile states you got blue eyes, a good pic without shades could swoon a nice gal! Don'tcha think?!


I have a soft spot for shorter women 5'8" and under


Short women know who they are, you can take off the 5'8 and under.


Speaking of age; 10 years younger is about as low as I'll go, and maybe 2 years older than myself.


Maybe....that '' maybe'' will cause doubt for any older women- Give your readers the benefit of the doubt, you can always meet a 49 year old women who can surprise the heck out of you. Perhaps I would suggest you to be more vague in this case, '' I have a soft spot for shorter women. It's also important for me to find a partner who likes to keep fit, takes pride in her health and appearance who also knows the meaning of the words '' integrity'', ''respect'' and '' humility''``.

You don't need to copy paste that exact sentence, but did you see what I did there? Sentence structure can go a long way, there's a fine line between sounding aggressive and sounding confidant. You're aiming for confidant. You don't want to sound like someone who is saying '' I don't want this, I don't want that''- Instead it's better to say '' I'm looking for this, and that'' - it executes less aggressiveness and more confidence. Am I making sense?
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 15
Review Please
Posted: 1/31/2016 12:24:28 PM
^^^ You are :)
I mean OP do you go to a restaurant and tell the Server what you don't want? ( I do know someone who does that while grilling the staff.. not an experience for the faint of heart)
You know - more flies with honey - altho why someone would want more flies is puzzling but if it is an adage it MUST be true! lol
Few like having their picture taken.. at least now with cel phones you don't have to wait days to see how badly the photos turned out
 FuelTheSoul
Joined: 11/23/2015
Msg: 16
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Posted: 1/31/2016 12:51:47 PM
Cirice, Thank you
Yes, I'm tweaking these adjustments slowly to better word it. O' and by the way I see your 28, believe it or not if we lived closer you and I could get along well as friends. I know many younger people and at heart I'm a bit EMO myself. I guess because it was my generation that gave birth to Punk Rock, which has now broaden into a wider spectrum that encompasses much more today. I'm pretty open minded and an independent thinker much like yourself.

"It's all about saying the same thing but without using negative sentence structure"
Exactly, but I'm not much of a writer, LOL. I of course have no option but to be forth right about the distant thing. I'm not going to Tampa, Miami or Jacksonville it's just too darn far.

I like how you reworded the appearance and integrity things. So, I'm using them, they look good, Thanks :)

I'm still unsure how to write that opening? I just really don't think about me in that way. But yea I don't like these dating sites, It's too much about looks. I don't go around hitting up the 9's and 10's, I'm not in their league.
 Cirice_
Joined: 1/12/2016
Msg: 17
Review Please
Posted: 1/31/2016 1:13:24 PM

It's too much about looks. I don't go around hitting up the 9's and 10's, I'm not in their league.


Reminded me of a quotes that I read in a book that I like to re-read over and over again titled, '' Sh*t My Dad Says''- The quote is
'' Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them.”

Which is yeah, hilarious- but brings the point that if you're refusing to message a woman because *you* think she's a *10* - then the only reason why you have no chance with her is because you didn't take any chances to begin with.

Google searching or just reading other profile's could inspire you on creating a better profile intro- you'll even fall upon some articles that will state the exact same things that everyone else here have said '' Have good pictures'', '' smile'' '' be positive'' etc etc - I still think you should simply write about you, and what you like, and what you do. You're too focused on what you don't want- focus on you -create a good bait- and then filter the fish that are biting.

Write a positive profile. Get a better picture. Then send nice messages to the 9's and 10's. DO IT!


I see your 28, believe it or not if we lived closer you and I could get along well as friends. I know many younger people and at heart I'm a bit EMO myself. I guess because it was my generation that gave birth to Punk Rock, which has now broaden into a wider spectrum that encompasses much more today. I'm pretty open minded and an independent thinker much like yourself. .


Merci! :) That's a very nice thing to say- And I totally agree that anything that's heavy metal and punk rock coming from your generation still stands as the best music of the genre. Rock on
 FuelTheSoul
Joined: 11/23/2015
Msg: 18
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Posted: 1/31/2016 2:34:59 PM
Cirice, you're welcome. Yea, we had some good tunes but your generation has got some awesome stuff too. It's nice to see how much your generation has enriched Punk from it's humble beginnings. I guess that's why I get along so well with the younger generation. While, I can't sport the spike hair I once had, because it's receded, LOL. I've graduated into being more of the "cool old guy" in the eyes of youth. And while being young heart does me well, it don't help me much with women my age. Most women my age are extremely jaded and filled with unrealistic expectations. They want Mr. Absolutely Perfect and their false idea of Mr. Perfect is why they stay on sites like this for years and years and can't find anyone. They look at a picture of some guy on here and immediately set about trying, to figure out why that guy isn't good enough.

I like your quote "Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them.” .
That's very true and my philosophy exactly. It's really important to not make their decisions for them, before they've decided themselves.
I only brought up the 9's and 10's to stress home the point that I'm not overly picky. That's all I meant by that comment. I write to whatever interest me. for me it's never been just about looks.

I think it's rad you're a welder that's so freaking cool. You go Girl :)
And I want to give you a big THANK YOU for the time you've taken to help me :)
 oldfashmntman
Joined: 10/20/2009
Msg: 19
Review Please
Posted: 1/31/2016 6:38:31 PM
The picture has been mentioned numerous times, you are shooting yourself in the foot there.

You are also shooting yourself in the foot with those age restrictions as has been mentioned.

I am reasonably sure you can handle 3 or 4 notes a day, which VERY few will ever get here.

Never ask the ladies to message you, it has the opposite of the desired effect.

Write a good profile with some good pictures and you won't need to ask, some will.
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 20
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Posted: 1/31/2016 7:31:04 PM

They want Mr. Absolutely Perfect and their false idea of Mr. Perfect is why they stay on sites like this for years and years and can't find anyone. They look at a picture of some guy on here and immediately set about trying, to figure out why that guy isn't good enough.


With all due respect, I think [you've got it all wrong. Women want the same thing as anybody: respect and to know that they're appreciated, among many other things. Your profile, as written, conveys none of that.

On the one hand you say:

Would like to meet someone who also knows the meaning of the words '' integrity'', ''respect'' and '' humility''

And then on the other you say:

I'm not looking for a booty call or a friend with benefits. I could get that with a 20 something year old at a local bar.


Do yo see how at odds the one statement is with the other?

You talk about "brownie points", "kids are well ... ok ...", you'll "ignore" her if she chooses to contact you in a way that doesn't suit you, and you're basically demanding the courtesy of a response from a complete stranger who doesn't know you from boo.

And to make matters absolutely the worst, you've offered the reader a single picture in which she can't see your eyes, the bulk of your head, your teeth, your legs. Not much at all. On this matter, you're inflexible. It all screams "secrecy", not "mystery", when "transparency" is one of the most appreciated traits of all.

Cliff notes version of your profile: You've done nothing to make the woman think that you're any different from the dozens of other jerks she's met.

I don't think you're that kinda guy. Your responses in this thread have been courteous and respectful. Be that person in your profile and the results may surprise you.
 Forums_only
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 21
Review Please
Posted: 1/31/2016 7:58:52 PM
You've done a good job at editing the phrasing to sound much more approachable, but there's still not a lot about what you do for fun or what Interests you. The Interests inventory is silly and still needs to be trimmed.

As already said, having incoming email restrictions is (literally) ridiculous as you will be doing 99.9999999infinity% of the initial messages. There is nothing in your profile that would compel someone in the parameters you are requesting to message you. Yet....

You may as well have no picture if you are going to hide half your face. When you send introduction messages you can choose to attach a photo to those messages, I believe. With all the choices women have on these sites, why would they waste time on someone who doesn't want to show his face?

For what it's worth, at least two of the posters here have IQs over 130.

PS - the PS can go. It's silly. Spend this real estate on something actually worth reading about YOU. Don't sabotage yourself here, you could actually do well if you get over yourself.
 FuelTheSoul
Joined: 11/23/2015
Msg: 22
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Posted: 2/1/2016 7:19:38 AM
I'm working on all of this and I do appreciate the great effort everyone has contributed, it's much appreciated. I sincerely hope you all understand I'm just asking questions and commenting here, as if we are all close friends and can talk about anything. Please don't misunderstand me or make the mistake of me saying the stuff that I'm saying here, as anything less than just friends talking and trying to learn from one another. I do greatly appreciate all of your help everyone of you.

I just don't know how else to convey what I'm saying without spelling it out here. Therefore I got ask and share my thoughts so you can better grasp what I'm talking about. I think you can all understand my meaning on that and see this for what it is. I'm not a bad person, I don't think negatively of myself. I'm just trying to figure out how to make a better profile that encapsulates what I'm seeking and what I'm not seeking.
 tennistown
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 23
Review Please
Posted: 2/1/2016 9:31:29 AM

I'm just trying to figure out how to make a better profile that encapsulates what I'm seeking and what I'm not seeking.




I'm arriving to the party late.
So, I haven't seen the changes, if any.
After just skimming the review advice
I will hopefully not just regurgitate
something already said. This is what I see. . . . .



Your only picture, is one of you, eleven years ago!
What would you think if a woman did that to you?
People change a lot in that time span!

And.

Eighty percent of your profile was written
with extreme negativity. Dude, you are killing my buzz.


Which "person" would you rather wake up with?

#1. Wow! It's beautiful outside, let us go do something fun!
Or.
#2. Crap it's windy, let's stay in and have a bicth fest. I'll start first.


You my friend, appear to be the #2. guy.


So, change that stuff up,
unless you plan on being
a sleeping soloist.
Good luck!
 FuelTheSoul
Joined: 11/23/2015
Msg: 24
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Review Please
Posted: 2/1/2016 10:02:34 AM
"Your only picture, is one of you, eleven years ago!"
Excuse me? That was taken less than a year ago at the southern most point in the U.S. (Key West)
Are you saying I look 57 years old?
 tennistown
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 25
Review Please
Posted: 2/1/2016 10:20:35 AM

"Your only picture, is one of you, eleven years ago!"
Excuse me? That was taken less than a year ago . . .




Upsie Daisy, my error. Yes, I misread the "2005" caption.




Are you saying I look 57 years old?




If the shoe fits.


No, I didn't say you look 57. But, now that you mention it. . . .
I bet with those arms crossed, sunglasses on,
and that hanky hiding your hairline, you could pass for 57.

I bet you could order off the Senior Menu at Dennys,
no problem! Just wear the same outfit you're wearing
in your profile picture.
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