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 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 1
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Starting to get a complexPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Valentine's Day is shot. My GF is sick. The best laid plans ...

Same exact thing as last year, except a different GF.

Moral of the story: Don't be my BF at this time of year. You'll be sick on 2/13-2/14, most likely a stomach virus.

Just hoping she feels better soon. I've offered to bring her anything she needs, but she doesn't want me to get sick, too. Probably a good idea.
 showboatsupreme
Joined: 1/25/2016
Msg: 2
Starting to get a complex
Posted: 2/13/2016 11:28:25 AM
Definitely a bad V day for me as well.

I was going to propose to someone special tomorrow but she counter offered with a Wednesday instead.

Feeling pretty dumb now :(
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 3
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Starting to get a complex
Posted: 2/13/2016 11:52:47 AM
Huh? You were planning on asking for somebody's hand in marriage???
 showboatsupreme
Joined: 1/25/2016
Msg: 4
Starting to get a complex
Posted: 2/13/2016 12:12:17 PM
Yeah. One day I'll learn that you can't buy love.
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 5
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Starting to get a complex
Posted: 2/13/2016 12:14:12 PM
You're kidding me, right? You'd consider marriage with somebody who wouldn't see you on Valentine's Day?
 showboatsupreme
Joined: 1/25/2016
Msg: 6
Starting to get a complex
Posted: 2/13/2016 12:30:43 PM
I expressed my desire to see her tomorrow. She is busy.

I told her I was going to propose and she didn't say anything. She knew my intentions last year and, in her defense, she said she wasn't ready for that.

We exchanged 'I love yous' last year as well but those went away and she admitted she was on the rebound after the death of her husband.

I thought she was on the fence about me and a ring would have changed that.

Not sure what the point of maintaining a FWB thingy when the feelings are not mutual.

Would have been nice to not be single tomorrow but it is what it is...
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 12/24/2015
Msg: 7
Starting to get a complex
Posted: 2/13/2016 12:42:09 PM
^ Aw, Dude. Sorry about that.
 crook_catcher
Joined: 1/27/2016
Msg: 8
Starting to get a complex
Posted: 2/13/2016 12:44:13 PM
^^^^^

Msg. 6

Is she putting you off because of prior obligations? Sick? Or just doesn't want to see you?

I don't necessarily think I would have said anything about the proposal after she said she had plans already. Just me though. Good luck to you. :)
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 9
Starting to get a complex
Posted: 2/13/2016 12:47:58 PM
Starting?

I've started numbering mine way back, when I was about 35 years old. Nowadays I have to use a spread sheet to keep up.

Some professionals call it mentally unstable, and one other defined it as genius.

I'm going with the single guy's opinion, no matter what the rest of em say.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 10
Starting to get a complex
Posted: 2/13/2016 1:01:48 PM
I've never had a man take me out on Valentine's day. So I'll outwhine you all!
P. S. I don't celebrate it except getting some chocolates in a pink heart shaped box. Happy V day, all!
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 11
Starting to get a complex
Posted: 2/13/2016 1:37:12 PM
Showboat - oh dear. Hey you can buy my Love tho "_
BF was working out of town, so it is the all day/ back tonight thingy.
I ate my weigh in fries, now for Butter chicken pizza. Then the fat farm ( which to me is no junk food for 24 hours as I shake with DTs)
NGgirl, if you were closer we could go do a lush brunch tomorrow
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 12
Starting to get a complex
Posted: 2/13/2016 1:38:59 PM
I wish, Oujia... You are cool people and also my favorite profile reviewer. You give kind and insightful reviews.
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 13
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Starting to get a complex
Posted: 2/13/2016 3:22:44 PM

Don't be my [GF] at this time of year.

I'd take the chance. ;-)
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 14
gosh, never even had a duplex in my life
Posted: 2/13/2016 6:13:09 PM
Well, Chromis, I guess I was looking for a reason not to ask out some dude, and there it is. All I can say is, VD is just a day on the calander, you can make it up next week. As for SBS, i'll be the know-it-all and remind you that when a male or a female doesn't try to lie to us about how much they love us...take for granted that they are telling us the truth. usually people try to seduce us by claiming they actually are in love. but you likely know that anyway.

As for VD, I spent the day before taking a roadtrip to VT for fun, then off to an old mill city that's trying to revitalize itself, for an ice sculpture contest on the city sidewalks. Its 7 degrees and windy, so they had to skip the lady who comes in to breathe fire and juggle it. I guess open flame and wind doesn't play well. But, there were plenty of couples out getting blush on their cheeks, warming by the bonfires while waiting for their table at the restuarants.

and I wondered why some women would rather be beer'n'booty call with some hot guy than date someone like me. Always got to have a little pity party for VD :) but that didn't last long. I had new goodies at home to look at I got up in VT. Like they say, I did things for myself. in the end, I guess we're all grumpy we didn't get something.
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 15
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gosh, never even had a duplex in my life
Posted: 2/13/2016 7:31:40 PM
Sun_Flower, you're a brave lass. Current GF has a stomach virus, last year it was an epileptic seizure.


All I can say is, VD is just a day on the calander, you can make it up next week.


Hardly. A lot of planning went in to this. The Presidential suite at a local Marriott, complete with a two-person jacuzzi tub, SpongeBob Squarepants bubble bath, electric candles, a black choker that drives me wild, a wine caddy kit with glasses, corkscrew and Pinot Grigio, sit down breakfast in the morning and lots and lots and lots of time.

And this morning, as soon as I woke up, I passed a kidney stone that had been vexing me for months.

The Table Was Set.

The good news ... she feels better. We'll see each other tomorrow and just enjoy each others company. If her stomach can handle it, I'll take over some shrimp scampi over angel hair pasta I made last night.
 cookymaker
Joined: 6/28/2014
Msg: 16
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gosh, never even had a duplex in my life
Posted: 2/13/2016 8:18:21 PM
Glad to hear she is feeling better and that you just might get your Valentine's Day after all. Watch out for the shrimp though.. seafood can be iffy after a couple of days.

I know all about the complex a person can get

I went out for lunch with someone I had met on MATCH a couple of years ago. He had a epileptic seizure the next day

Met a fellow forum writer ( a different one) for lunch last November. He had a relapse from lyme disease

Lunch in a Mexican restaurant with a POF person July before last. He contacted me the next day to see how I was feeling.. he had food poisoning
Was asked out to dinner (POF) at an Italian restaurant that August. Of course the phone rang the next day.. he had pink eye

Went for pizza with a different POFer last February
He caught a cold he couldn't shake for a month

Who wants to be my Valentine? Health insurance up to date???
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 17
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gosh, never even had a duplex in my life
Posted: 2/13/2016 10:22:15 PM

Who wants to be my Valentine? Health insurance up to date???


Yeah, but it's my life insurance I'd be looking up ... :)
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 18
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Starting to get a complex
Posted: 2/13/2016 10:53:19 PM
Glad to hear your good-news update, Chromis. Just being together is the most important thing. Enjoy. :-)
 Lasthookbringsme
Joined: 11/8/2015
Msg: 19
Starting to get a complex
Posted: 2/14/2016 2:15:07 AM
^^I'm sorry about your pets. <3

I received some Valentines but nothing quite serious.

Today is our love day and the five loves of life are with me, half of whom are sick, one is working, one is thoroughly depressed, and I may have to take one to the doctor in fear his pneumonia might not be fully be gone.

I'm going to spend the entire day gourmet cooking and feeding and nursing.
 dpwesu
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 20
Starting to get a complex
Posted: 2/14/2016 6:40:52 AM
showboat(see message 6)


I expressed my desire to see her tomorrow. She is busy.

I told her I was going to propose and she didn't say anything. She knew my intentions last year and, in her defense, she said she wasn't ready for that.

We exchanged 'I love yous' last year as well but those went away and she admitted she was on the rebound after the death of her husband.

I thought she was on the fence about me and a ring would have changed that.

Not sure what the point of maintaining a FWB thingy when the feelings are not mutual.

Would have been nice to not be single tomorrow but it is what it is...


I think a lot of us feel this way.....It would be nice NOT to be single on Valentine's Day or any other special occasion.....I at one time would vow on New Year's Day I wouldn't end the coming year being single....well after 10 years out here I am....on my own......and am no closer to finding someone than the day I was set free.

I am sorry your "intended" doesn't feel the same way as you. Me personally.....I would much rather be lonely because I am alone versus being lonely because I was in a relationship that wasn't working. - been there, done that.

- from what you have shared on here.....a ring - NO matter now nice or big it is.....NO matter how romantic the proposal.......isn't going to change her feelings for you. She admitted to you she was rebounding after her husband passed away.

Me personally, when I hear someone is recently divorced or widowed....I just don't go there....because I know they are on the rebound and I won't allow myself to get caught up in their drama.

I am sorry you are hurting.....but from what you have shared.....you are much better off without her. She truly needs some time to get herself together. - and you deserve to find someone who will love you for you and not treat you like a rebound.
 Olivoil
Joined: 5/3/2015
Msg: 21
Starting to get a complex
Posted: 2/14/2016 7:16:16 AM
Showboat? Could it be the blonde woman that very briefly showed up on your profile picture a few months back ? The widow with no health insurance that you figured was a liability?
I know men suck at being alone, it's somehow more embarrassing for them, but please hang in there until you meet somebody you don't have to compromise/complain about.
As my single- by- choice son (the doctor) once told me "There is nothing wrong with being single, mom".
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 22
Starting to get a complex
Posted: 2/14/2016 7:36:04 AM

I thought she was on the fence about me and a ring would have changed that.


I would never consider getting to the ring stage if I felt someone is on the fence about me. I would wait or tell them to pick one side of the fence before deciding on my next move. If I recall correctly, weren't you married three times before? That might have something to do with her hesitation, as well as the rebound issue.
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 23
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Starting to get a complex
Posted: 2/14/2016 9:10:37 AM
Sun_Flower, exactly right. :) Pizza, Pepsi, peanut M&M's, a movie and her company. What else could I want?

Swan, no, fortunately nobody died. :) Sorry about your pets. :(

(From POF: In order to maintain the highest quality forums, I shouldn't be allowed to post anymore.)
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 24
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Starting to get a complex
Posted: 2/14/2016 9:35:53 AM

GtoMustang
in the end, I guess we're all grumpy we didn't get something.

I would modify that statement to read:

we're all grumpy we didn't get some



showboatsupreme
Definitely a bad V day for me as well.

I was going to propose to someone special tomorrow but she counter offered with a Wednesday instead.

Feeling pretty dumb now :(



showboatsupreme
I expressed my desire to see her tomorrow. She is busy.

I told her I was going to propose and she didn't say anything. She knew my intentions last year and, in her defense, she said she wasn't ready for that.

We exchanged 'I love yous' last year as well but those went away and she admitted she was on the rebound after the death of her husband.

I thought she was on the fence about me and a ring would have changed that.

Not sure what the point of maintaining a FWB thingy when the feelings are not mutual.

Would have been nice to not be single tomorrow but it is what it is...


Wait a minute, wait a minute… I’m missing big pieces of the puzzle. Is this the woman who showed up in your main profile pic last year?

Trying to recreate the story from partial information, you and she were an item for a short while last year, even exchanged “I love yous”, but she backed away with the excuse or reason that it was “too soon after the death of her husband”, correct?

So the two of you were “friends with benefits” since then, without the “I love you” part, but you were still carrying the torch, so you thought a proposal of marriage would bring her around?

Bad stuff, this has got to hurt. My sympathies, man.

Being a fair bit older than you, I have probably dealt with quite a few more widows than you have. There are always exceptions, but as a general rule I find them to be … hmmm, must be delicate here. They take a lot longer to be ready for attachment, let’s just leave it at that.

Divorcees are usually ready for a fling right away. Emotional attachment will take a little longer, but usually not more than 3 to 6 months. Widows aren’t usually up for a fling for at least 12 months, and emotional attachment can easily take 3 or 4 years.
 dpwesu
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 25
Starting to get a complex
Posted: 2/14/2016 4:49:32 PM
^^^ Ohenry......

nothing is worse when two people just aren't on the same page....

and it never works when one loves more than the other.......

I can only imagine how hurt showboat must feel.....and today of all days.....Valentine's Day is soooo in your face.....

While I have not dealt with any widowed men......I can say most, not all divorcees are looking for flings straight away......but as far as emotional attachments......that can certainly vary.......
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