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Show ALL Forums  > Profile Reviews  > Over 51 and over the hill ? Profile review required please      Home login  
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 Mark_It_Up
Joined: 3/15/2011
Msg: 2
Over 51 and over the hill ? Profile review required pleasePage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Hi Mark (great name btw),
On the contrary, most photos we see here are terrible but yours are really good. In fact the rest of your profile is pretty good, too.

There's a couple of minor things that could be improved such as "prefer not to say" for the kids question, the over-used "partner in crime" phrase, and a couple of typos ("I" not capitalized in a few places), but I don't think they'll have a huge impact on your response rate.

You're obviously very active which means your target audience will be smaller, since many won't feel able to "keep up" with you. That's a problem I ran into too, and you seem even more active than me. You may benefit from some less active, non-travel photos to show that you do have downtime. Also being divorced and hairless will put some off, although you obviously can't help either.

Since your profile looks fine, what are your messages like? Ideally they should be 2-3 sentences long and ask just one question. From your description in your post you may be over-doing the first message, which may overwhelm the reader? How many messages have to sent, and what kind of response rate do you get?

I found that women who complained about men not reading their profiles (or in fact women complaining about ANYTHING in their profile) were much less likely to respond, even to a proper message. More positive people are much more likely to respond, in my experience. Also you've only been here a couple of days. It takes patience and persistence. But from your profile you certainly have a good understanding of how it works, so given time, I think you'll do well.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 3
Over 51 and over the hill ? Profile review required please
Posted: 2/23/2016 5:36:45 AM
Hi Mark
One picture of you in Nepal is enough :) I'd like to see one where you are not wearing sports clothing.
First line needs to go.. I roll my eyes whenever I see the worn out " partner in crime" cliche. If I had a quarter for every time I've seen that I could take a trip to Nepal :/
You also mention romantic twice in the opening.. no
But then you say it is sad that women 5 to 10 years older message you. Sigh. But aren't you messaging women as young as 39?
I don't know I'm in agreeable with Mark re Keeping up. I know many super fit and active women. They make me tired LOL.
Guess it depends what you are seeking - Good luck :)
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 6
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Over 51 and over the hill ? Profile review required please
Posted: 2/23/2016 6:16:05 AM
Mark, good profile, but you haven't really tried for very long. So you could connect sooner or later. Keep trying.

But I expect if you eliminate some sports photos, like camping mont blanc mountain, and while I like the kitesurfing Rhosneigr it does seem a little extreme. Include a few art galleries or museums pics and it will appeal to a larger pool.

IMO many women will think they aren't up to or interested in wilderness camping or kitesurfing.

Unless you really want a woman who is also an "activity partner", which is a much smaller group of women.

And if you meet women in real life through friends that are 30+, why not date them, someone might be a good match. You seem to be prejudging younger women as not suitable.

Having more well rounded pics are my only thought on your profile, your text does show a more well rounded person, but the pics are 80% of what gets noticed in your profile.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 7
Over 51 and over the hill ? Profile review required please
Posted: 2/23/2016 6:40:38 AM
Simply don't message the women who have nothing in the profile - unless you are going solely based on looks.
On line dating isn't easy according to what the forums say , consider it but one avenue to meet someone.
Remember nothing is real until you meet. That vibrant attractive woman could be some young kid just having a lark, a married woman looking for validation, etc.
 Forums_only
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 9
Over 51 and over the hill ? Profile review required please
Posted: 2/23/2016 7:14:07 AM
I get the sense I'd not be able to (hypothetically) afford to 'keep up with you', with all the travel and restaurants. Women in the range you are seeking may not have the financial resources or may still be responsible for kids at home. Are you contacting women who have answered "No" or "my kids are over 18" to that question?

It is a well-written profile with an interesting gallery, though.
 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 10
Over 51 and over the hill ? Profile review required please
Posted: 2/23/2016 7:56:46 AM
you joined 3 or 4 days ago, and are not yet deluged with dates?

guess 'patience' is surely not one of your strong suits..

odd that you 'can only relate to' people almost 20 years younger than yourself..why is that? do you secretly think you are a 30 year old in a 51 year old body?
doubt many others would see it that way.
I usually find that I can relate to a wide age range of people, both younger and older..unless 'relate to' means the age range of women you'd prefer to bed?
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 13
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Over 51 and over the hill ? Profile review required please
Posted: 2/23/2016 8:16:31 AM

The age range of the women has been from 39 to 48 which I don't think too unreasonable for my age at 51.


It may not seem unreasonable to you, but the fact is, here, online, in POF, it won't work.

I'll assume that you're messaging women in your preferred age group, 39-48, who you find attractive. If you find them attractive, so do the men who are considerably younger than you. So, where's the incentive for an attractive 40 year old woman to date a 51 year old guy, when she has plenty of good looking guys in their early 40's chasing after them?

It just isn't gonna work.

You'll need to reset your expectations. This:
Because all of my close friends are 10-20 years younger than me I find I have little in common with regard to outlook and perspective with people my own age or older other than an interest in politics or finance et al.
Huh-uh. I hear what you're saying, but I can't buy it.

You are unlikely to find much success here unless you reset your age range from late 40's to early 50's. Trust me on this. And c'mon, let's be reasonable, there are gobs and gobs of very attractive and interesting women ages 48 - 53. I mean, gobs.


Mind you, as much as I am interested in what is wrong with my profile and appreciate the women have the upper hand, I think it's rather disingenuous when reading some of their profiles, many with the words 'just ask' shows little effort on their part and yet expect perfection from us.

Just quit this way of thinking. If an older woman contacts you and you find her attractive, dig deeper than her profile.
 Canandaigua_Momma
Joined: 12/16/2015
Msg: 14
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Over 51 and over the hill ? Profile review required please
Posted: 2/23/2016 8:41:30 AM
It is a good profile and the OP is really cute! The photographs are nice, too.
If 51 y.o. is considered "over the hill" now, then I definitely have BIG problems!
 Mark_It_Up
Joined: 3/15/2011
Msg: 15
Over 51 and over the hill ? Profile review required please
Posted: 2/23/2016 9:02:23 AM

I think it's rather disingenuous when reading some of their profiles, many with the words 'just ask' shows little effort on their part and yet expect perfection from us

You're right, and it's sometimes interesting to discuss this kind of thing on the forums.

But if you're using the site to actually find dates, it doesn't pay to get bogged down with this over-thinking. If you find a profile you don't like for any reason, just press "next". When I was using this site I would estimate that I read 15-20 bad/unsuitable profiles for every one that I messaged.
 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 16
Over 51 and over the hill ? Profile review required please
Posted: 2/23/2016 9:07:15 AM
"just ask" in conjunction with someone 30 years old or younger, with hot photos, typically is 'acceptable' for most guys on here..
if older, and/or not beautiful..not so much.
 loveisatemple
Joined: 3/28/2014
Msg: 17
Over 51 and over the hill ? Profile review required please
Posted: 2/23/2016 10:53:15 AM
So if you want no kids, more than likely she would be 40- your age, as is typical of most male profiles.

"For age, I have no issue with meeting someone older, but as much as I don't want an activity partner 'per-se', I also don't want to be dragging my heels around garden centres and shopping malls each weekend. "

Well, you are in process of justifying wanting younger. Just admit it, if somebody hot and younger wanted to mall shop, and plant tulips, you'd do it.

"Because all of my close friends are 10-20 years younger than me I find I have little in common with regard to outlook and perspective with people my own age or older other than an interest in politics or finance et al."

More justifying, as not all fit some narrow stereotype, and if somebody attractive to you liked those things, suddenly it is not a problem.

If you want younger, just know it may take longer, nothing guaranteed. You'll need to get actual meets, which is easier in person, doing all those things you like to do.
 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 18
Over 51 and over the hill ? Profile review required please
Posted: 2/23/2016 11:12:08 AM
not trying be snide, sir

but possibly to your "target market" --women 20 years younger than yourself..you might seem a bit 'over the hill' ?

so you want younger..but that will be tougher

honestly, at 30 years old were YOU attracted to many 51 year old women?..to put the shoe on the other foot ?
 tennistown
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 19
Over 51 and over the hill ? Profile review required please
Posted: 2/23/2016 12:14:35 PM

Interestingly practically all of their profiles commented on men emailing them without first reading their profiles and I have commented on points that they have mentioned to show that I have read it.
. . . . but still no response.


I believe LOTS of messages get buried
in the avalanche of mail
very attractive women receive.




Back to your profile review.

I think you have one too many pictures.
Yeah, PoF give you eight spots. But seven pictures
lines up way better, neatly in one row
across most computer and tablet screens.

And if you consider my advise. I know
which one you should reject. It is
the selfie where you are "mouthing" a beer.
You look like a bit of a poser in that shot.
The other guy in the photo knows how to "do it".
So, I'd strongly consider shotgunning that picture.



Also, in your writings you reiterate
something, I think needs only to be said,
maybe once, if at all.


please dont think I am looking for an activity partner.




I must stress that I am not looking for an activity partner. . . .



dont --- don't

It's better form
to write about what you do want.
Rather than what you don't want, x two.
Good luck!
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 20
Over 51 and over the hill ? Profile review required please
Posted: 2/23/2016 12:44:36 PM

Because all of my close friends are 10-20 years younger than me I find I have little in common with regard to outlook and perspective with people my own age
….
I think it's rather disingenuous when reading some of their profiles, many with the words 'just ask' shows little effort on their part and yet expect perfection from us.


No matter how old your buddies are, YOU are still 51. What are these vast differences between you and women your own age? “Outlook” and “perspective”??? Yeah. Are you in mid-life crisis or denial? Or both.

I think it’s rather disingenuous for you to “expect perfection” for yourself yet denigrate others for what you perceive as them expecting perfection. You already resent them but do you message them anyway, I wonder…

Good luck.


Well, you are in process of justifying wanting younger. Just admit it, if somebody hot and younger wanted to mall shop, and plant tulips, you'd do it.


He’s just stereotyping women his own age without realizing the young things he’s chasing have old guy stereotypes for him. Oh the disingenuousness!


honestly, at 30 years old were YOU attracted to many 51 year old women?.


Heck, he’s not attracted to them now! :/

Time to go set my rickety 51 year old bones in the rocking chair, with a crocheted shawl, a cup of tea and a dozen cats in my lap, while I watch repeats of Wheel of Fortune.
 sundownertoo
Joined: 1/27/2016
Msg: 21
Over 51 and over the hill ? Profile review required please
Posted: 2/23/2016 1:09:46 PM
The OP will not have a problem finding someone 10 or 12 years younger. He looks attractive, good on paper, seems to like the "good" life and can afford it. He will do just fine.
 Nj2ut
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 22
Over 51 and over the hill ? Profile review required please
Posted: 2/23/2016 4:11:48 PM
OP ignore the people giving you grief over your age preference. Based on your lifestyle and where you are in life it makes sense to date someone younger. I would say the same thing to a woman in a similar situation as well. I see many profiles of women in the age range your looking for and its not uncommon to see an interest in men 10 years older than them....so it's not impossible.

You have a well written profile with great pictures. You just need to spend more time searching and sending initial ,messages to the women that appeal to you. Just like you're active in sports, you have to be active in finding dates.Use the age restriction and the minimum character count options to eliminate the messages that don't interest you or just ignore them. No response is a response.
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 23
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Over 51 and over the hill ? Profile review required please
Posted: 2/23/2016 5:48:39 PM

The OP will not have a problem finding someone 10 or 12 years younger. He looks attractive, good on paper, seems to like the "good" life and can afford it. He will do just fine.


No, he won't. Not here, nor any other online dating site.

Let me put it this way: The odds are heavily stacked against him.

I understand the "hell, go for it" rah-rah, "anything is possible" thinking that online daters first adopt, and should adopt to keep one's spirits and motivation high throughout a process that everybody here knows is rough and mean. But my craps money is on the square that says "frustration" and I'm staying far, far away from betting on "I found my dream 40 year old". Experience is a wise teacher.
 loveisatemple
Joined: 3/28/2014
Msg: 24
Over 51 and over the hill ? Profile review required please
Posted: 2/23/2016 6:01:19 PM
Hey, nobody is saying don't try, or it is wrong, but don't come here with complaints of it's cruel and unfair, be empathetic to my suffering though I bring it upon myself with these high standards, I'm a nice guy, how it is rational for you to only date younger (that is just your preference, no need to deny), hog wash about why you are an exception to the laws of aging( "they cannot keep up, therefore I deserve young flesh" vs that is just what you want, and should get ready to be patient waiting for it).

There is a reason nobody is coming out in droves to date you and that is competition, or maybe just not into you . You might get what you're looking for, nobody knows, or maybe not, same as anybody. I just think it's funny how they all say the same " I just never age, nobody knows how old I am, my peers are younger and by osmosis so am I...")It is a cliche.
 sundownertoo
Joined: 1/27/2016
Msg: 25
Over 51 and over the hill ? Profile review required please
Posted: 2/23/2016 6:28:16 PM
Are you saying his chances are the same as an attractive, high quality, high caliber woman that looks good on paper (and will tell you all about it) and is holding out for her knight in shining armour, of course he's a King and not a lowly Knight. Well, maybe you're right because they are still here looking too. Bummer OP. You might do better at a Meetup group or an introduction or a match maker.
 Forums_only
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 26
Over 51 and over the hill ? Profile review required please
Posted: 2/23/2016 7:28:23 PM
Do you typically talk this much in person? I truly didn't need an accounting explanation, I was just expressing a perception. You are probably correct in that the majority of the much younger women receiving your messages are looking at your age and passing as this does tend to be a visual medium. I hope you're not blathering on for paragraphs in your introduction messages.

Glad to see you removed the age settings on your incoming emails, that was just silly. It may go better for you without the blatant age range showing on your profile. You can be the judge of that. Just as the women 10+ yrs younger are ignoring you, you can simply ignore the 52-yr old cougars contacting you.

.. and Chromis, 54 is gobs of hot, too. Just sayin'...
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 27
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Over 51 and over the hill ? Profile review required please
Posted: 2/23/2016 7:49:50 PM
^^^^ Oh, absolutely. 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60. 61, 62 ...

Frankly, I don't know at what age this all ends. I suppose it's all relative and the real answer is "never".
 sundownertoo
Joined: 1/27/2016
Msg: 28
Over 51 and over the hill ? Profile review required please
Posted: 2/23/2016 8:16:50 PM
You know Forums Only, the OP wasn't rude. You were rude to him. And hell, if you found someone, he will find someone.

He's not the only male looking for younger. Not too many people in their 40s or 50s or 60s come on here saying "I'm looking for a guy/gal 10 or 15 years older than me". He's attractive, got the right credentials and will get frustrated like many on here. He will be fine.

OP, don't settle. You will find someone that suits you.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 29
Over 51 and over the hill ? Profile review required please
Posted: 2/23/2016 8:23:09 PM
*The age range of the women has been from 39 to 48 which I don't think too unreasonable for my age at 51.*

Not unreasonable, but depends on how big a gap the woman is comfortable with. I'm 37, and I'm only interested in men under 42 or so, AND in great shape. The same way that you look younger than your age, everyone is surprised that I'm MY age. I'm always thought to be in my late twenties or early thirties, and no, I'm not interested in a man seven-ten or more years my senior - why would I be when attractive men in their twenties and thirties hit on me routinely - and the difference between younger and older is quite noticeable, as you must know since you seek younger. Good luck OP, I hope you find your match.
 Forums_only
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 30
Over 51 and over the hill ? Profile review required please
Posted: 2/23/2016 9:49:20 PM

You were rude to him


I read it again, I was not rude. Again, simply stating another perspective. If I touched a nerve, so be it. I didn't think I needed to sugarcoat it for someone my age. He can absolutely contact whoever he wants, so long as he realizes how he appears to them and has no illusions on the visual aspect of online dating. Yes, I found someone here - it can be done. We are only 2 years apart in age. Imagine that.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 31
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Over 51 and over the hill ? Profile review required please
Posted: 2/24/2016 5:38:45 AM

Forums_only I read it again, I was not rude. Again, simply stating another perspective. If I touched a nerve, so be it. I didn't think I needed to sugarcoat it for someone my age.


I read the OP's responses, you didn't bother the OP at all, it was other posters that wanted to object to your perspective. As we know, there are always some forum posters that are looking to pick a fight about anyone's perspective regardless of what it is.

My take is to never put in an age range for a male, it's not like any of use get overwhelming mail in our inboxes. Easier to just delete MSGs you don't want to respond to rather than risking offending some hypersensitive woman when they look at the age range.

If someone does get a lot of new MSGs, I think it's sensible to restrict who can contact you even if it arbitrary and based on personal whims. Just makes one's life easier to deal with even if you do "miss out" on a rare compatible person.

In any case, I see the OP has take OUT his age range, which I think is sensible.
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