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 go_whale1
Joined: 10/13/2015
Msg: 1
I think I found somebody, Finally, but theres a problem.Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
After along time on here I found somebody, but its that shes blind. I dont have a problem with that. Its just that she gonna to bring someone with her on the date so the person can tell her what I look like. What happens if the person ruins it for me.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 2
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I think I found somebody, Finally, but theres a problem.
Posted: 3/2/2016 12:10:46 PM
It's as with any other challenge.

If you don't take the risk, you will be absolutely CERTAIN to fail.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 3
I think I found somebody, Finally, but theres a problem.
Posted: 3/2/2016 12:10:56 PM
If the person ruins it for you then you will have to resume looking for someone
 go_whale1
Joined: 10/13/2015
Msg: 4
I think I found somebody, Finally, but theres a problem.
Posted: 3/2/2016 12:17:57 PM
You think the person bringing her will actually lie about me?
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 5
I think I found somebody, Finally, but theres a problem.
Posted: 3/2/2016 12:23:06 PM
Based on the fact I don't know the person you're referring to I would have to say :

HOW THE HECK COULD ANYONE KNOW ANY BETTER THAN YOU ?????


Seriously, you have 2 choices here :

1. Be optimistic and let the chips fall where they may
2. Cancel the date and spare yourself agonizing over the many negative possible outcomes
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 6
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I think I found somebody, Finally, but theres a problem.
Posted: 3/2/2016 1:32:06 PM
Be excited for the date! You're putting up roadblocks and her friend may think you're just adorable.
 flaneur001
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 7
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I think I found somebody, Finally, but theres a problem.
Posted: 3/2/2016 2:02:32 PM
OP: What do you mean by "I think I found someone". It sounds like you haven't met yet. I've seen these wise words on the Forum many times: "Nothing is real until you meet."

You say she is going to bring someone to tell her what you look like. Can you explain this....if she is blind then why would she do this. Is it possible that she is bringing a friend to make sure you are a safe person, for example that you are the age you say you are and feel out if you might take advantage of the girl you like? People who have disabilities can be vulnerable to people taking advantage of them. Maybe the girl you like is being extra careful when dating.

Most of us on line have experienced things not working for a whole bunch of reasons, it's part of the on-line dating process. There is a regular forum participant who shared that she went on over 70 first meets with men... it took her a couple of years...but she ended up marrying the very special #70!

Just be yourself...and keep trying! If it doesn't work with someone....then it's their loss!!!
 go_whale1
Joined: 10/13/2015
Msg: 8
I think I found somebody, Finally, but theres a problem.
Posted: 3/2/2016 2:08:11 PM
I wouldn't take advantage of someone like that. Just hope it goes good with her.
 flaneur001
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 9
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I think I found somebody, Finally, but theres a problem.
Posted: 3/2/2016 2:16:13 PM
I don't think you would either, but she may need to take extra steps to make sure she is safe. It's not about you....it's probably what she does on all of her first meets.

Have you asked her if she has dated before and if she has had a friend come along?

I have a feeling, this isn't about checking out your appearance.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 10
I think I found somebody, Finally, but theres a problem.
Posted: 3/2/2016 2:37:07 PM
I too don't think it's strictly to check out your appearance, although that could be part of it. If she's blind, she will need someone to take her to the place where you two will meet, have that person recognize you when getting to the place, and it's not a good idea for a blind person to spend time alone with a total stranger they haven't met. And she will need somebody to take her home afterwards. Maybe after the introduction, the person who brought her there will go sit at the bat or do something else for a while to give you two time alone to talk.

You have mentioned before and your profile says you don't have car. That could be a problem, because obviously she doesn't drive. I don't know how you would arrange dates with her if can't pick her up and take her places. You also mentioned that you have no job and can't find one. That won't work well in your favor.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 11
I think I found somebody, Finally, but theres a problem.
Posted: 3/2/2016 2:42:25 PM
Double Double
Post Post
 scm600
Joined: 3/14/2010
Msg: 12
I think I found somebody, Finally, but theres a problem.
Posted: 3/2/2016 3:25:37 PM
If she were a friend of mine, I'd make sure someone was with her on at least the first meeting. And possibly a few after that.

Just think if you had a daughter that was blind and was meeting someone she met on the internet for the first time. The only thing you and her know about the guy is what he wrote in emails. You don't even know where the guy lives or if he's giving you his real name. I'd bet you'd be parked outside watching carefully! Probably armed! LOL

Like all first meets, you gotta show up to find out the end (or the beginning) of the story. Show up with a smile! That's what I would do.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 13
I think I found somebody, Finally, but theres a problem.
Posted: 3/2/2016 3:29:27 PM
"Show up with a smile! That's what I would do."







No, don't or else the person will whisper to her friend :

" He's on drugs "

 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 14
have some blind faith in her friend
Posted: 3/2/2016 3:44:28 PM
Backup plan: stuff a sock in your shorts, so she can get a "second opinion".

Seriously, if her friend is that willing to screw you over...then throughout your potential relationship, that friend is going to be whispering in your girl's ear. Do you really want that? So, go, take a chance. If it fails, then you're no worse off than you are now.
 Llove2laughtoo
Joined: 1/11/2016
Msg: 15
I think I found somebody, Finally, but theres a problem.
Posted: 3/2/2016 4:16:44 PM

After along time on here I found somebody, but its that shes blind.


Interesting. I have to assume since she is blind someone else is reading the emails she receives, and screen the guys profiles for her. I am surprised the person she is going to bring haven't checked out your profile yet to see what you look like.
 scm600
Joined: 3/14/2010
Msg: 16
I think I found somebody, Finally, but theres a problem.
Posted: 3/2/2016 4:36:07 PM
^^^^^^^^^
There is software that reads the words from a web page out loud. Any blind person who uses a computer has it. I'll bet they don't care if there's a pic or not, though! LOL
 go_whale1
Joined: 10/13/2015
Msg: 17
I think I found somebody, Finally, but theres a problem.
Posted: 3/3/2016 11:03:10 AM
She doesn't mind I currently looking for a job right now. And she has had a couple relationships in the past.
 DeliciousANDnutricious
Joined: 2/23/2016
Msg: 18
I think I found somebody, Finally, but theres a problem.
Posted: 3/3/2016 4:17:05 PM
Get after it and meet her and her friend.

I met a girl when I was 19, I think she 18, from America Online (aol) they had a way to chat with members and I would write to women in my area.

It was her idea to meet at a Burger King, I was kinda like you all worried she wouldn't like me.

This was my first "meet" I was young and real shy, I didn't know how to talk to people, especially girls, well we met and talked a while at a table facing each other.

I never saw her again (probably because I didn't ask to see her again) was too worried what she would think of me, to think and say "hey wanna go to a movie?"

I did this a few more times with other girls, just a first meet, honestly I think I was afraid to ask them to go do something another time, want to know why?

I was more afraid of being rejected, so if I didn't ask them again, I didn't have to worry about being rejected.

I was sabotaging my own chanches with these girls because of fear of rejection, you sound like you are almost doing the same thing.

I learned to not be afraid of rejection, can't tell you how to do it, but going on meets and dates will help you to lose that fear.
I think I found somebody, Finally, but theres a problem.
Posted: 3/3/2016 5:31:15 PM

I found somebody, but its that shes blind. I dont have a problem with that. Its just that she gonna to bring someone with her on the date so the person can tell her what I look like. What happens if the person ruins it for me.

This doesn't quite make sense, or ring the way that it should. A blind person...precisely because they are blind...wouldn't care what you look like in the same way that us non-blind people do. I'd think that she'd use her hands to "see" you and would have her own things that she'd prefer or not want, but attractiveness is a different ball game for the blind. At least for me if I were blind, I wouldn't rely on someone else...a "seeing" person...to tell me whether or not someone is attractive. Attractiveness is a matter of opinion even between 'seeing' people, and a blind person certainly shouldn't be forming opinions based on someone else who can see.

Now, I know that you said "can tell her what I look like", and you didn't say "can tell her if I'm good-looking"...but just to know what you look like from a seeing-person's eyes wouldn't seem to apply. To know what you'd look like from a blind person's perspective would involve that blind person basically feeling you up with their hands. Hence, I'm tempted to think that it's about attractiveness instead of 'just what you look like'.

However, to correct and clarify myself, this could be just the very initial first-meet (first-look) (?) in a very rudimentary sense, such that she just wants that general idea before getting to know you further...and would be using a friend's general wisdom about how your dress, your hygiene and grooming, and mannerisms, and the idea for the two of them isn't for the one to let any personal ideas about attractiveness be a factor. Maybe the idea is that there is at least some visual information about you that only a seeing person understands, cues that may say things about the kind of person you may be in some respects, and that's what they're after.

Will the other person ruin it for you? This depends on whether or not that other person can exercise fair, objective, and impartial perception independent of their personal preferences...and if they can render the right impression based on maturity and social adjustment.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 20
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I think I found somebody, Finally, but theres a problem.
Posted: 3/3/2016 8:05:47 PM
I do wonder how she manages to meet guys from online dating sites. Does she get someone else to do it for her and if so, they would know what you kind of look like. She may or may not like your voice as well. The other person is going to suss out more than your looks I would say. There is nothing you can do but go along with it as you cant control what other people do or say. This gives real meaning to the "blind date" scenario.
 Lasthookbringsme
Joined: 11/8/2015
Msg: 21
I think I found somebody, Finally, but theres a problem.
Posted: 3/4/2016 1:58:03 AM
Put yourself in _her_ shoes and understand why she's going to bring somebody with her. Her concern about her safety, IMHO, is far more important than your fantasy about rejection. (You might feel less stressed about it.)

Meet her, and have a good time getting to know each other!

Cheers!
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 22
I think I found somebody, Finally, but theres a problem.
Posted: 3/4/2016 7:08:26 AM

Opening post: What happens if the person ruins it for me.


Exactly how is the other person going to ruin it for you? It's up to you to have it not ruined.
Since you don't have a car, chances are she's going to have this person or someone else be on any and all subsequent dates-if there are more dates after the initial meet. How else would she get to anywhere you two meet and get home?
 salty_blumist
Joined: 11/26/2012
Msg: 23
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I think I found somebody, Finally, but theres a problem.
Posted: 3/4/2016 4:12:32 PM
My oh my, that's a different problem I've never heard of before. Okay, I have to ask this, do you know for sure she's blind? You would be surprised at the lengths some people are willing to go to for their own stupid messed up fun these days. But first thing I thought of, is don't agree to go on a first date with her under these circumstances. I mean, if she's an able bodied blind person with a dog, or somehow can get around independently on her own, why should she need a friend with her just to supposedly describe you? I don't see why if she is able to be alone, why she can't meet you publicly at first and take it from there. In todays world, people have access to social media and other forms of being able to transfer pictures. If she really just wants to know what you look like, why couldn't she just settle on accepting a picture from you and have her friend/s describe you based on it? To me just the thought of having a tag along on a first date for the reason you described sounds a tad shady. If you were to meet her like I said and all went well, then maybe her having a tag along for a second date may work better. I think that even despite her disability, she should be allowed and able as an adult to form her own opinion of you by meeting just you. And if her knowing what you look like is that important to her, if she doesn't want to go entirely with how you would describe yourself, she could ask others around her to describe you for her if they were up to it, knowing that she's blind.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 24
I think I found somebody, Finally, but theres a problem.
Posted: 3/4/2016 6:27:56 PM
salty blumist- ^^^^Blind people can't drive!
Some men seem to forget how much a woman puts her safety at risk with OLD. I'm not a small woman, I grew up with all boys, I can fight, but I'm still not a man.
This is a blind woman, do I have to spell it out for you just how bad things could go for a woman that vulnerable?
Her bringing someone with her is for her safety!
 woodnymph4
Joined: 2/15/2016
Msg: 25
I think I found somebody, Finally, but theres a problem.
Posted: 3/4/2016 6:36:48 PM
Salty - um, geez.

The OP is 20, so chances are this young lady is 19 or 20-ish and...wait for it....blind. Would you feel safe sending your sister or daughter out there to meet a virtual stranger for a date...when she's blind? And WTF is an "able bodied blind person"?
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > I think I found somebody, Finally, but theres a problem.