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 83austin83
Joined: 6/7/2015
Msg: 1
Should I simply give up on dating?Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
When I say this I'm being serious. I've had so little luck on here and so much frustration I'm really considering giving up. I probably get responses 1 out of every 25 or 30 women I contact. Even the ones that do respond it typically goes nowhere. I've been on here for over a year now and had 4 dates, only 2 of which went pretty well. Both of those dates though I got the "oh I enjoyed the date and do like you but I don't feel anything, I just want to be friends", so basically I got friend zoned. One of those girls I have stayed friends with, the other I have not.

With that said, at this point is it really even worth it anymore? I just had my consultation appointment for a vasectomy and hope to get the procedure done in the next few weeks so that I can be sterile. At that point I could just go to the bars and clubs (even though I never did like the club scene), learn some PUA moves and have random sex with anyone with no chance of having kids. I mean lets be honest, sex is a big reason we go into relationships. Would it not be better if we all cut out the pretenses and just slept around and had sex? With the vasectomy procedure done there would no child risk and I think it would be a lot of fun. I haven't been sexually active in years and want to start having sex again.

What do you all think, think that is a good way to move going forward? To simply give up on dating and just have random sex? If I do decide to still try the whole "relationship" thing do you think a vasectomy would be a deal breaker for a lot of women? For the women on here, would you date someone who had had a vasectomy?
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 2
Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/9/2016 6:55:54 AM
Have a vasectomy if you want to, but realize that you can still contract STDs if you want to play the field "raw". I think it's not a bad idea to "play around" if you don't want to have kids of your own. Just don't be one of those late 30s/early 40s guy who finally wants to settle down and then is upset why he can't find childless women who want to start a family with him. I have noticed that the less I care, the more men want me. Might work the other way around as well. Either way, don't sweat it, online can suck for women too. Go out and meet people in person. Spring is just around the corner and people come out of hibernation. That's my plan for this year - meet more people in person while out and about.
 crook_catcher
Joined: 1/27/2016
Msg: 3
Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/9/2016 7:04:08 AM

What do you all think, think that is a good way to move going forward? To simply give up on dating and just have random sex?


Unless it's a prostitute, how are you having random sex without some extent dating?



If I do decide to still try the whole "relationship" thing do you think a vasectomy would be a deal breaker for a lot of women? For the women on here, would you date someone who had had a vasectomy?


I wouldn't think so....unless they inadvertently cut the wrong parts off. :)
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 4
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Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/9/2016 7:10:22 AM
I think the STDs you acquire having lots of random sex after your vasectomy would be deal breaker for most women.

You do realize that condoms don't only help with preventing pregnancy.

I think your reasoning is totally bizarre. You can't find a woman to date you, but you think as soon as you get a vasectomy women will start flocking to you to have random sex.

Whaaaaat?
 sactownromantic
Joined: 6/14/2015
Msg: 5
Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/9/2016 7:52:31 AM
Online dating basically sucks, everyone online has the bar set too high. If sex is all you want then hang out in bars or clubs, your odds are a lot better. When I go to clubs there are usually 2 women for every man on the dance floor. As others have said: put a rain coat on before you go playing outside, you don't want the gift that keeps on giving.
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 6
Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/9/2016 8:00:54 AM
Good Grief. You are only 32 fer cryin' out loud. Your Q is awfully intathesting as Shultz would say. Especially given your profile. It's all over the map, to say the least.

On the other hand, the "good news" is that your rate of "success" is not nearly so bad as most here and you have at least 2 items in your profile that are quick easy DEALBREAKERS for many Forum women as well as regular non Forum females given the reports of many men who participate/have participated here. At least - at this point - you are being honest in your current profile.

Many people don't seem to notice or care that ONline success is a COMPETITION with other members of the same sex in one's area. I suggest a Profile Review. It can't/won't hurt your odds of "success" and you are free to take or leave any/ALL advice.

At the very least, I personally find DATES and/or CAPTIONS on pics make them a lot more believable. It's up to you. I pretty much summarily dismiss females in my area who have a slew of pics [and I don't care how MAGNIFICENT any might be] with not a single date or caption to be found. Plenty of ladies in my area who ARE sharp enough. It seems many [most?] folks just don't have it in them to LIE with their dates or captions...

As far as getting a vasectomy?

At 32? Thinking it might increase your chances of "bedding" more females?

Given your other 2 questions, I think you should seriously consider giving OLD a break. I suggest a year at least. I [as well as plenty of other folks here] have taken them. OLD seems to have seriously clouded your judgement.
 83austin83
Joined: 6/7/2015
Msg: 7
Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/9/2016 8:06:56 AM
SLAFFA interesting comments, I must ask, you mentioned 2 items in my profile as deal breakers for many women. What are those 2 items?

I've considered giving OLD a break, it just seems like I have a personality that maybe isn't compatible with dating someone. I really do not want children hence why I am seriously considering getting a vasectomy. The side benefit would be that I would be more comfortable having sex since there would be no chance of a condom failing (and yes I know you still have to use condoms for STD protection).

Going back to the OLD comment again though, again please elaborate, how do you think OLD has clouded my judgement?
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 8
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Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/9/2016 9:19:41 AM
You should be having a vasectomy because you know 100% that you have no desire for children, not to enable you to live a life of promiscuity. If you are not scoring now, do you think shooting blanks will up your average?
If I was single, and either had kids or knew I did not want any, a man with a vasectomy would be convenient. But only if we were in a steady relationship and were regularly tested for STDs. If the guy was living a 'random' lifestyle I wouldn't date him.

From your profile, I would get seriously involved in your local church if you want to meet like minded women.
 83austin83
Joined: 6/7/2015
Msg: 9
Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/9/2016 9:30:10 AM
I really don't want kids, that was a decision I finally came to about 6 months ago. Connecting that to your next comment, I doubt my stance on kids would go well in a church setting, lol. Honestly while I am Catholic I have no problem admitting that I'm one of those Catholics who attend church usually around once a month, twice a month at most. I do not attend weekly. I've never really cared either if I dated a Catholic or not, heck I could even date an atheist as long as they respected the fact that I do believe in God.
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 10
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Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/9/2016 9:52:56 AM
So, here's a snippet from your profile:

I'm Catholic and my faith is important to me, I don't necessarily have to date someone who is Catholic but I could only date someone who believes in and has a relationship with God.


And then you write here:

I have no problem admitting that I'm one of those Catholics who attend church usually around once a month, twice a month at most. I do not attend weekly. I've never really cared either if I dated a Catholic or not, heck I could even date an atheist as long as they respected the fact that I do believe in God.


Well, which is it? In your profile you make it sound as if you're devout. Lots of folks have a bundle of preconceived notions about devout Catholics (I'm Catholic but hardly devout). Lot of folks won't date a devout Catholic. But you're clearly not devout. Not even close. Devout Catholics never miss mass on Sunday or Holy Days. Devout Catholics don't have premarital sex, and they know full well that a vasectomy will send them straight to hell.

If you changed your profile to delete all the "I'm a good Catholic" nonsense, you might see a better email response rate.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 11
Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/9/2016 9:55:45 AM
Sounds like you have a plan OP, I'd follow through with it
 83austin83
Joined: 6/7/2015
Msg: 12
Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/9/2016 9:56:25 AM
To be honest I forgot I had that on there, lol. Yeah I haven't updated my profile (except for pictures) in about a year and a half. I was in the process of trying to be a more devout Catholic at the time but really have decided that while I am Catholic I don't go to church regularly. You are right I should change and clarify that.

With that said, as for the vasectomy thing, I have never heard that. Where in the bible does it say a vasectomy is going to send me to hell? I really doubt God cares if I have a vasectomy or not.
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 13
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Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/9/2016 9:59:32 AM

Where in the bible does it say a vasectomy is going to send me to hell? I really doubt God cares if I have a vasectomy or not.


C'mon, dude. It's birth control. You wanna be Catholic? The only birth control sanctioned by the Vatican (I think) is the rhythm method.
 83austin83
Joined: 6/7/2015
Msg: 14
Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/9/2016 10:01:51 AM
Well then I'll take my chances. I think God will still see I'm a good person and I'll be up in heaven. I've done enough for him, heck I volunteer twice a month which is something most once a week Catholics don't do. I don't think it's horrible to want to have some fun and have a vasectomy so I can have a lot of casual sex without risk of getting a woman pregnant.
 call_me_tater
Joined: 12/30/2014
Msg: 15
Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/9/2016 10:02:20 AM
Edited:

Volunteering twice a month won't buy your way into heaven.

Are you going to carry your surgical records to bars to increase your batting average?
Do you really want to have casual unprotected sex with women who are willing to have unprotected sex?
 kj521
Joined: 9/20/2015
Msg: 16
Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/9/2016 10:03:13 AM
First things first, Mr. Austin. Change your profile to...doesn't want kids...instead of open/undecided.

Then go have your vasectomy. But do not expect that because you feel sexually liberated by said medical prceedure that it will equate to women suddenly throwing themselves at you at'da club. Realistic expectations are your friend.

By your own parameters.....you have limited your dating pool. Just have to deal with it.

But here's the good news......you live in O town. The sun is hot and the breeze is balmy.
Get out and enjoy it and meet the people along the way.

Did you know we have tons of meetup groups? I recommend the nude yoga. ;)

Okay....hahaha! I've never been to that one but I have been to Lake Eola yoga in the park on Sun morning.
Lots of gorgeous women of all ages. :D

I am a believer that online should only be one avenue to be utilized in the quest for love.

Good luck!!!!
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 17
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Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/9/2016 10:07:20 AM

I don't think it's horrible to want to have some fun and have a vasectomy so I can have a lot of casual sex without risk of getting a woman pregnant.


LOL! Dude, you'll need a different religion. Time to give up on the Catholicism thing.

But don't give up on dating. Wouldn't you much rather be in a loving, nurturing relationship? Wouldn't that be preferable to lots of casual sex (which, incidentally, won't be as easy to achieve as you're now thinking). Change your profile, change your pictures, do something different.
 ThatGirlNamedAlli
Joined: 12/28/2013
Msg: 18
Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/9/2016 10:09:29 AM
I wonder why people place so much importance on being coupled, and meeting someone.
Would I prefer to meet someone? Of course. Will I die if I don't? Of course not.
Have some tea and cake and read a book.

(oh, just read the post above me. catholic. don't they teach you you're life is useless if you don't meet and procreate? lol That explains it)
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 19
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Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/9/2016 10:14:53 AM

catholic. don't they teach you you're life is useless if you don't meet and procreate?


Not exactly. Life is useless if you don't suffer. The more you suffer, the less time you spend in Purgatory. Watta deal, huh?

You don't need to meet and procreate. Just don't screw if you're not married.

But, yeah, suffer. A lot. It's the Catholic way.
 83austin83
Joined: 6/7/2015
Msg: 20
Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/9/2016 10:26:47 AM
Chromis well in the very least you informed me of something I didn't know. I honestly didn't think the Catholic Church really frowned upon vasectomies. I just thought they focused on abortions and birth control pills. I didn't really realize they put vasectomies in the same category, especially since it's for us men and of course we aren't the ones who give birth.

Good thing I didn't tell my dad or anyone else in my family outside of my mom. I'd have to hear the "you'll go to hell" from all of them, they are pretty devout, far more than I am. My mom supports it.

This definitely makes me conflicted on getting the vasectomy, but I'm just so sick of being scared to have sex (due to the worry of getting the woman pregnant) and I do believe that after the procedure I'll be more confident and therefore will be more attractive to women and be able to have some good one night stands and friends with benefits.

As for relationships Chromis I worry at this point I'm just too emotionally damaged to have a stable long term relationship anyway. Too many rejections.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 21
Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/9/2016 10:33:56 AM

You are right on one thing, more and more I do find myself with the MGTOW's. I hope their movement can become a national movement.


I've considered giving OLD a break, it just seems like I have a personality that maybe isn't compatible with dating someone

From the man who did not like the female tennis player, interfering in "Guys night out", ? LOL Remember?


I think your reasoning is totally bizarre. You can't find a woman to date you, but you think as soon as you get a vasectomy women will start flocking to you to have random sex.


Will this sex be before, or after the tennis match?
 sactownromantic
Joined: 6/14/2015
Msg: 22
Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/9/2016 10:51:29 AM
I know a lot of Catholics who had premarital sex, that's why they had to get married. ; )
Heck my ex-wife was Catholic but she wasn't practicing, I don't care what religion my partner is as long as they aren't fanatical about it.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 23
Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/9/2016 10:55:06 AM
LadyinRed
I know, when I read the history it makes responding so much easier.
Don't you have to be practicing to call yourself a Catholic?
 call_me_tater
Joined: 12/30/2014
Msg: 24
Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/9/2016 11:02:24 AM

Don't you have to be practicing to call yourself a Catholic?
Yes, I would think so.
You would also know the basics of the religion as these "values" are pounded into your head by parents, priests, during mass, and during weekly religious education classes.
You would have received the first 4 sacraments, too.
Even bad Catholics (or ex Catholics like me) know these things...there's no way to avoid it.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 25
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Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/9/2016 11:03:14 AM
Haha.

I missed it. Every time I don't read a posting history, I live to regret it.

What a fun thread THAT one was!
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