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|So I joined POF because I work late and find it hard to meet people IRL working such late hours. Although POF allows me to filter out some based on race, height, weight, distance, etc. I cannot filter out some based on their schedules. A result of this is I get about one a day from women who have a incompatible schedule to myself, although I talk about my schedule ad nauseam on my profile. The worse part is, these women will lie, and say our schedules are compatible for the first two to three days that we are messaging each other. Only when I try to set up a date do they decide to tell me that my hours don't work for them. As a result of this, I posted on the suggestions board on POF forums asking that they add a feature which will allow us to enter the time of day we're most available to go on dates, so I can filter out those women who don't match with me. The responses I got however were idiotic and rude. One person accused me of lying, while another said that I shouldn't let the door hit me on the way out. Is this the type of attitude I should expect from POF members? For now on, I will suggest on every form of social media, forums, or in person that when people join, they should immediately ask a question on the forums, and wait for the responses. Once they see the derogatory ways people act in the forums, they should then get a understanding of the type of people they're potentially setting themselves up to date.|
Posted: 3/10/2016 3:04:59 PM
|Some people love to give abusive responses.It's their reward for failure.|
Not a bad suggestion but better left to those who are in the corresponding
with each other process.People are going to lie whether they have a funky
schedule or not as you've already experienced.Adding a filter is something
people will do when they pick up their personality app in the distant future.
Posted: 3/10/2016 3:40:00 PM
|Josh - your profile is intended to be a personals ad to sell yourself to potential dates. Right now, it's an online blog full of so many whiny statements, there's no hope of finding your true character in the mess. Rants of any sort, heck even a lot of negative statements - are date repellent.|
To be honest, I get the notion you've only had a handful of bad experiences, and assume the rest of the real world fits the same mold. That's the biggest, most obvious, habitual problem of everyone online -- is that their little window of experiences will never change AND is the same as everyone else. It's not ALL bad. There are different people out there - not always better - but different. Just keep in mind, profiles that appear a little too perfect, usually are.
As far as dating / working late hours - a single sentence in your 'First date' section is all you should need. If ladies are too stupid or ignorant to read it - you gotta let it go and not make a court case out of it.
Adding more 'checkoff' features to a profile doesn't make for better matches - it creates an artificial standard that excludes more people than you really should. A huge part of the problem with matching in here - is that people believe the more specific they match, the better it gets. Not true in the least. All it really does is shrink your possibilities and makes the odds even longer. With time and patience, you learn to find a balance between your needs, wants, and what the online audience will respond to.
Posted: 3/10/2016 9:33:18 PM
Right now, it's an online blog full of so many whiny statements
already a rude comment as a response proving my point
it creates an artificial standard that excludes more people than you really should.
that's the whole point, to exclude people that I cannot possible ever have a date with.
. If ladies are too stupid or ignorant to read it - you gotta let it go and not make a court case out of it.
the reason I'm making a case out of it is because it wastes my time, I get ladies who message me, then ask to exchange phone numbers, then we text, sometimes for days, the whole time telling me my hours are workable with them. Only after I actually try to set a date for a date do they finally admit that they are unable to meet me. This wastes my time , which I consider valuable. As far as balancing my needs, well there is no, I repeat, no compromise, absolutely zero compromise in my work schedule. I dont hound these girls asking for dates at 1:00pm during their workday, they shouldn't ask me out at 6:00 when I'm at my job.
Posted: 3/10/2016 11:17:23 PM
I dont hound these girls asking for dates at 1:00pm during their workday, they shouldn't ask me out at 6:00 when I'm at my job.
It's not 'hounding' - it's a text message. It won't keep barking at you until you feed it or take it for a walk. Learn to ignore messages when you are at work and get back to them when you are not. Turn the ringer off. Disable the notices in your email alert settings. Maybe leave your phone in the car or at home so you don't have to deal with that annoyance. It's not them that needs to change - it's how YOU handle it! Is anyone forcing you to open that envelope the second you pull it out of the mailbox? Of course not. People DO realize after a few non-replies during your work hours that they should wait. If you do answer - no matter how annoyed or indignant you may be - you STILL answered their message - which means YOU are playing into their hands!
Finding out the right level and timing of online communication is ALWAYS awkward at first. Having a crumb of patience goes a long way.
The other key thing to realize is that everyone on this planet gets 24 hours as day. Everyone. How people value their time doesn't have to match yours in any way, shape or form. They don't need to match your schedule to be dateable, because they don't need to match you to GET a date. You can't force a bunch of internet strangers to respect you - mainly because declaring your time is more valuable than theirs is not showing THEM any respect. Online dating is a humbling experience. You'll figure out eventually that a lot of things you value highly about yourself, most people will never give a damn - because you are just one face in a sea of profiles.
Posted: 3/11/2016 2:40:24 AM
About JoshI don't think online dating is the right platform for you if it gets you this upset.
I'm deleting my profile, the women here are to ignorant to read it, and the people on the forums are too ****ing rude.
Posted: 3/13/2016 1:23:13 AM
|Josh, most people here on the forums have no education, are bitter, with a life full of so many poor decisions they only spend time online making sure other "share" in their misery. Forget these toxic, liars and cheaters. Deal with reality. Some people say they are intelligent but have nothing that shows it. You may want to stay away from this type! |
Make a good intro, express yourself clearly, post good photos with you smiling, and remember some of the characteristics you may want on a person are: intelligence, morals, character, integrity, conviction, trustworthiness. These are hard to find in one person and it will take time: be pragmatic about it!
Good luck brah!