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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Totally out of left field replies to intro messages      Home login  
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 zonavar68
Joined: 8/16/2015
Msg: 1
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Totally out of left field replies to intro messagesPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Normally I don't get replies to intro messages and when I do they tend to be the usual 'thanks but no thanks' more likely 'thanks but you are too far away we cannot be friends'... But the other day I got this:

"Thank you so much for ur lovely message. I'm just trying to find a politically correct way to write in my profile that I only date black men. Don't want to offend. U r a decent guy I can tell and I wish u all the luck in your search."

Anyone else received a reply like this before? Note that I'm in Australia, and except for indigenous Australians, the rest of us are basically white/caucasian types in the main. I never send rude "hi I think you're hot lets have sex" messages as that's just disgusting and abhorant and so disrespectful. I've never ever had an in-person meetup from here or most other dating sites perhaps because I'm decent and respectful and not a standout alpha male.

However that reply quoted above is definitely the most unusual one I've ever received!
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 2
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Totally out of left field replies to intro messages
Posted: 4/6/2016 7:35:58 PM
I'm in Australia too and have never had a message rejected due to race/ethnicity. I've certainly exchanged messages (and had dates) with a number of men that were not "white/caucasian types" on here and racial preferences have never even been mentioned by either of us.
 cassie2425
Joined: 3/4/2016
Msg: 3
Totally out of left field replies to intro messages
Posted: 4/6/2016 7:54:37 PM
I'd find it odd that an adult would say "ur" or "U r " and "u".

I think you dodged a bullet in that this woman is not all that intelligent and can't write a decent sentence . She does get credit for saying "no thanks". I don't think the "I only date black men" was necessary at all.

I'd be doing a happy dance because she said "no".
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 4
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Totally out of left field replies to intro messages
Posted: 4/6/2016 10:49:19 PM
I think the most odd one I've had was rather recent. She wrote to tell me that although she really wanted to meet me, that she was afraid that I lived too far away.

I'm used to that, don't get me wrong... I've had several long distance crushes here, including people from four thousand, or even ten thousand five hundred miles away. So I understand daunting distances.

But this one was twelve miles.

I decided, "okay, clearly I have so much competition, she has of necessity limited things to people within walking distance."
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 5
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Totally out of left field replies to intro messages
Posted: 4/6/2016 11:58:50 PM
That's hilarious, and crazy, Igor. Did you reply?
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 6
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Totally out of left field replies to intro messages
Posted: 4/7/2016 5:08:28 AM
The world is full with lonely looneies, and OLD has more tha its fair share of such people. Strange replies are to be expected.
 IgottaName
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 7
Totally out of left field replies to intro messages
Posted: 4/7/2016 6:26:21 AM
Several years ago, I was on this site with the username Beershark. One woman I had messaged replied, "I'm sorry but I don't do alcoholics."
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 8
Totally out of left field replies to intro messages
Posted: 4/7/2016 12:54:51 PM
I suppose the closest I have come to that is

" thanks but I wear high heels every once in a blue moon and my vagina dries up whenever I'm taller than the guy I'm with "
 Ailand
Joined: 3/5/2016
Msg: 9
Totally out of left field replies to intro messages
Posted: 4/7/2016 12:55:25 PM
bugged you hun?
You know whats funny? I once messaged a person a few years back who gave me a similar message. Years later he asked me what I found unappealing about him. I told him that I had once messaged him a" Hello" and he gave me a response of " I only date black women."

Although his ex is black he told me he would never write anything like that. I told him "You did" (considering, he was my first and only person I had attempted to meet back then).

I didn't know how On-line Dating worked and I had jumped out of my comfort zone only to fall on my bum. It wasn't a big deal to be honest, I figured, when I was really ready to date again. I'd put a huge effort in. Years later I met him and met other men after him. I just haven't found who I'm looking for.

It's not }Never", more like "Not at Present Time".
 ndm147
Joined: 8/1/2013
Msg: 10
Totally out of left field replies to intro messages
Posted: 4/7/2016 2:46:53 PM
My daughter lives in Australia so I enjoy the aussies on here!

I rarely contact any men any more, mostly here for the profiles, but once a guy who I contacted said I was one year over his target age. He was polite and I thanked him and wished him good luck.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 11
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Totally out of left field replies to intro messages
Posted: 4/8/2016 2:49:32 PM

'thanks but no thanks' more likely 'thanks but you are too far away we cannot be friends'...

Do you write girls who are far away? You should avoid doing that. A waste of time for a complete stranger coupling attempts...

Anyone else received a reply like this before [black guys only]? Note that I'm in Australia, and except for indigenous Australians, the rest of us are basically white/caucasian types in the main

Seeing it on the once-in-a-while-profile, it stands to reason that there's more gals who unknowingly Prefer black guys, and you'd have to be a hot-catch to stick out to her if you're not. Since there's not hardly any black folks in your location, I would assume her preference was over-stated to be nice to you. But it isn't outlandish that that would be her mere preference, but Emphasized as an easy way to let a guy down.

I've never ever had an in-person meetup from here or most other dating sites perhaps because I'm decent and respectful and not a standout alpha male.

It's not that you're decent & respectful, no. Any conviction that it would be due that would be an oxymoron. It's that you're not a good enough catch to the women you're interested in, if your activity has been high. That's obvious and vague, but it's basically about your looks+age+demographic that your profile presents. That's pretty much is most of it. The other part is how you write/flow with them -- but that's only a real factor if you're outlandishly good or bad about it.

" thanks but I wear high heels every once in a blue moon and my vagina dries up whenever I'm taller than the guy I'm with "

My response: "I have a tongue. I'll keep it moist. Easy to reach from down here..."
 americanbulldog89
Joined: 4/5/2016
Msg: 12
Totally out of left field replies to intro messages
Posted: 4/9/2016 10:44:43 PM
I am having a very similar experience. Only been on this site for about four days and already I have several messages from women. The messages all have a similar theme, they all say that the long distance between us is not going to be a barrier. Furthermore they say they're looking for a serious relationship. A couple are even single moms, I will be 66 years old in a few months.
None of the messages makes even the slightest reference to anything in my profile. Eventually they will probably all ask for money for a plane ticket to fly out here to Nebraska. I am sure you can figure out the rest.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 13
Totally out of left field replies to intro messages
Posted: 4/10/2016 4:50:08 AM
I've had some gals that live far away but said they'd be in my area in 6 months.

I told them to look me up when they were in town.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 14
Totally out of left field replies to intro messages
Posted: 4/10/2016 5:18:41 AM
I get denied all the time.

The majority of the time the girls tell me they tend to like people that are mentally stable????

WTF???????
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 15
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Totally out of left field replies to intro messages
Posted: 4/10/2016 1:29:41 PM
sun_flower:
That's hilarious, and crazy, Igor. Did you reply?


Oh yes. We exchanged a couple of messages. I thought at first it was an odd polite way to say "no go away," but she said it wasn't.

I only use it as an illustration of what I take from such situations, which is that each of us is unique, in our experiences, fears and desires.

Because more than anything else, I have found that what makes or breaks things for anyone, is whether the individuals detailed expectations match up or not. They don't have to remotely make sense to each other, or from an objective point of view, they just have to be our own 'solutions' to life's challenges.

So some things which are nothing to you, might mean everything to me.

With distance, I have personally known more than one person, for whom hundreds or even thousands of miles weren't an issue, because they had no ties to the particular location they were in. They could be very happy with the right person, and move across states, even to other countries, without a second thought, as long as the match was right.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 16
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Totally out of left field replies to intro messages
Posted: 4/10/2016 10:24:04 PM
She was kind to bother to reply to you, most don't and for good reason. The fact that she prefers black men has nothing to do with what message you sent her. She may be of a certain ethnicity herself and is entitled to her preferences.
I don't know why you are all bent out of shape and over reacting about it. Chill!!!!. I get that you are not having success on the dating sites, most men don't. So try other options as well.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 17
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Totally out of left field replies to intro messages
Posted: 4/10/2016 10:26:05 PM
Walts,

if you didn't talk about booze every time you post, you may have better luck.
 cassie2425
Joined: 3/4/2016
Msg: 18
Totally out of left field replies to intro messages
Posted: 4/11/2016 6:06:23 AM
^^^^. See, I see a sense of humour. I see a man that can laugh about himself. I see a man free to chat on serious topics. I see an open man, open minded, open to new ideas. I see someone that can see through the crap. I see a guy I could share a beer with, a coffe with and chat for hours or just quietly go for a two hour walk. I'd probably throw him down on the grass and have my way with him during that walk....oops, did I say that out loud.

Letitia, some people aren't totally their online personna. Not totally. So I bet Walts doesn't drink as much as you think and I bet you aren't as young as you state.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 19
Totally out of left field replies to intro messages
Posted: 4/11/2016 6:13:52 PM

I get that you are not having success on the dating sites, most men don't. So try other options as well.


Yes, because unbridled success with those "other options" is what motivated millions of people to engage in futile online dating in the first place.
 Hogtownboy
Joined: 2/2/2008
Msg: 20
Totally out of left field replies to intro messages
Posted: 4/12/2016 6:51:34 PM
Igor the go away phrase is "Good luck with your search"
 excusezmoi
Joined: 3/11/2016
Msg: 21
Totally out of left field replies to intro messages
Posted: 4/14/2016 4:51:50 AM
This guy contacted me. Not vice versa. We shared pics and he phoned me and we spoke for nearly two hours. He told me he had relatives staying over, so they'd be out and about lots, so not much contact (sent me a pic of them too). I work fulltime so I can't hang out on the computer either. He also told me that he only talks to one person at a time, and expressed interest in me...is new on POF and cannot do the multiple chat thingo. I accepted all of that. Then two days after the phonecall he messaged me on POF to say sorry but I met this other person and want to pursue a relationship with her, and talking to you would be kinda inappropriate. I wrote back and wished him well. He then blocked me, and is still online. What a loser!!! This 'man' is 62 years old for goodness' sake.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 22
Totally out of left field replies to intro messages
Posted: 4/15/2016 4:40:22 AM

if you didn't talk about booze every time you post, you may have better luck.


Always, and I do mean always, talk about what you know.........


and love.




And please. It ain't booze.


It's whiskey for phuck's sake.

Obviously, I don't talk about it enough.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 23
Totally out of left field replies to intro messages
Posted: 4/15/2016 7:25:09 AM

She was kind to bother to reply to you, most don't and for good reason. The fact that she prefers black men has nothing to do with what message you sent her. She may be of a certain ethnicity herself and is entitled to her preferences.


She can date whomever she wants. But stating "I only date black men" in response is not necessary. Just say "No thanks". If a fat woman contacted me and I stated "I only date slender and athletic women", a lot of people would consider that to be tactless at best to rude.
 GnosisMan
Joined: 5/4/2014
Msg: 24
Totally out of left field replies to intro messages
Posted: 5/7/2016 1:08:24 AM
Perhaps she made it up...
 StumbledN
Joined: 12/20/2014
Msg: 25
Totally out of left field replies to intro messages
Posted: 5/7/2016 5:54:01 AM

trying to find a politically correct way to write in my profile that I only date black men. Don't want to offend.


OP, how long have you been on POF? Maybe I've been here too long but, as "unusual" goes, this one is not all that bad. What part, exactly, strikes you as unusual? I'm thinkin' not all women prefer black men, but lots of them do. So that's not unusual. And granted, she appears to be drowning herself in political correctness, but that's not really unusual either.

I think I would have thanked her for her reply and told her I was not at all offended. And if I were feeling generous, I would have advised her that her dating preferences are not politically incorrect and, even if they were, she should state her preference in the top line of her profile in the same words she used in her reply to me. Then just think of it as a filter.
(In fact, the "filter" thing is how I think of most of my profile lol!)
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