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 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 1
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What is your longest internet only relationshipPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Either friends only, or a romantic relationship where you have never actually met face to face.

My next door neighbor had a romantic relationship with a woman for 3 years and he never met her but considered her his GF.

The longest I have can any sort of romantic interest in someone without meeting was 2-3 months, but they all lived farther way, 100 miles to another country. I never considered any of them my "GF" since we hadn't met.

But I do see in this electronic era of computer communication, we often have friends and romantic interest that we only communicate through bits in the ether.

Have others had this sort of ethereal relationship and how long did they go one for?
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 2
What is your longest internet only relationship
Posted: 4/8/2016 9:17:02 AM
If I did not have a set up date within two weeks, I used to move on. However, there were two occasions where we conversed online for about 2 months before meeting.

One was because she actually lived in a city that is about 2 hours away and she also had a sister that lived here in Atlanta. When we finally met in person and had several dates, I ran across a horrible thing. I liked her, but I did not feel I could become intimate with her. It just didn't do it. She had become too much of a good friend.

The second one, actually we did not develop the relationship online. We started talking, actually here on POF. Then she told me that she needed to disappear for two months. Okay. That was weird. She told me that she did these very intense conference for her national organization that brought together people from all over the world. That work consumed her intensely. I could mention what type of organization was, but I prefer to keep it anonymous. Anyway, out of sight, out of mind. So I contacted other ladies. Low and behold, right after her conference, she contacted me. We had a date. And I liked her, so I asked her out again. Eventually we dated for about 9 months.

Anytime that the online exchange goes on forever, when you meet, many times ends in disappointment. So I still stick to meet ASAP. And nothing is real until you meet.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 3
What is your longest internet only relationship
Posted: 4/8/2016 9:27:45 AM
I'll admit, any time I've watched that MTV show "catfish", I've wondered why someone could dating over the phone line for years and not meet. I assume they are catfishing themselves, afraid that meeting F2F will destroy the fantasy. or maybe they think they aren't good enough, and they will be the ones who pop the bubble. The last 4 relationships I had were over the net, long distance, and I didn't wait long to meet. but then, I had an advantage...a ton of my father's frequent flier miles I could cash in :)

I suppose with a younger generation, they can grow up seeing life in a different way. What's online can be "real" to them. as soon as gamer programers can make the Xbox 5000 handle virtual reality sex, hooking up online from the safety of your bedroom will be as "Real" as it can be. and maybe cut down the STD rate.
 cassie2425
Joined: 3/4/2016
Msg: 4
What is your longest internet only relationship
Posted: 4/8/2016 9:34:23 AM
I have two friends on here that I've not met face to face. Friends, both male friends. We email off line and have had phone calls. I've known one for about 6 years, the other about 5 years.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 5
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What is your longest internet only relationship
Posted: 4/8/2016 9:34:38 AM
My last real date, which will be 9 years ago a week from today, I met 3 years after we first connected on a dating website. In the beginning it just seemed like we were going to be penpals anyway and meeting opportunities did not come up early on, then a few months after we first connected I began dating my then-girlfriend, so we just occasionally sent each other an email for the next 2 years until we both broke up with our respective significant others at the same time and suddenly realized there was an excellent opportunity to meet.

I met another woman after 2 years of on-and-off messaging. 3-6 months or so hasn’t been uncommon. I’ve messaged several women for more than a year without ever being able to convince them to meet.

The fastest I ever met anybody was four messages (two each way) scattered over a week. She turned out to be cray-cray, maybe the most cray-cray woman I ever met from the internet. Heck, if she hadn’t been so hot, there’s no way I would have gone on a second date with her. The rare type of woman that finds me interesting enough to meet usually is rather shy and cautious and takes considerable time to feel comfortable enough with a man to meet them. I don’t push them. Most of my life, I’ve had nothing much better to do than engage in an email dialogue but that doesn’t mean it isn’t very frustrating to develop some sort of emotional attachment to someone over the course of months and then them suddenly disappear without explanation. Or sometimes with (bad) explanation.

"Anytime that the online exchange goes on forever, when you meet, many times ends in disappointment. "

That is indeed a peril of taking so long to meet, but interestingly I was very happy with the 3 year woman while the 2 year woman was pretty much what I expected. To be fair, I'm quite sure I have been a much bigger disappointment to the women that took a long time to meet me than the other way around because I'm a far better writer than talker.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 6
What is your longest internet only relationship
Posted: 4/8/2016 10:09:12 AM
GTO mentioned the show "Catfish". I watch it too, and I feel like smacking the people on the side of the head and tell them to smarten up when they're texting/messaging someone for months or years, and usually with daily contact, with one person always making excuses why they can't meet-but the one asking to meet won't give up trying. An episode with the longest time frame of daily cyber contact but not meeting in person I recall is 7 years. And yet, in almost ever case, the person who is getting blown off every time they mention meeting in person, falls madly in love with the person they never met, say that they can't imagine living without the person, and some even propose and discuss marriage. WTF? In pretty much every case, the person who is delaying meeting is not who they say they are. What a surprise (lol). I'm with the others who say message each other a few times, and meet in person within a week or two, and if they make excuses why they can't meet, move on.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 7
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What is your longest internet only relationship
Posted: 4/8/2016 10:17:22 AM
I belonged to an Atkins diet website forum at one time. Not only did the ladies there tell me about POF, one adopted my dog and 2 of them still email me once a month just to check in and say Hi. It's been over ten years and none of us have ever met. But I consider them friends.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 8
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What is your longest internet only relationship
Posted: 4/8/2016 10:17:49 AM
Duplicate post
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 9
What is your longest internet only relationship
Posted: 4/8/2016 11:12:14 AM

But I consider them friends.


Friends? That is a completely different story. Back in the day I used a workshop owned by Francis Ford Coppola about writing. I managed to sell a story and meet some really cool people. Several times we met in real life, sometimes in Atlanta, some times in Montgomery or Birmingham. There have been some really cool people here in POF forums.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 10
What is your longest internet only relationship
Posted: 4/8/2016 11:55:20 AM
I was 17 when I agreed to an internet relationship with someone I had met playing chess online. I was actually pretty good and he struck a conversation with me, about strategies. We exchanged pictures, continued chatting, etc. He always helped me out with technical questions because we had gone though the CCNA curriculum, and were both only a few chapters from obtaining our licenses. He got me anything I wanted, software-wise, applications, mailed me music, programs, flash drives, introduced me to cool stuff, etc. He was very sweet and harmless. It went on for about 5 months.

We were too young to coordinate well. I was already working and could afford to fly out to California to finally meet him, but what the heck was he going to do with me after I got there? He was still living with his parents, and they were likely not going to take well to me, they were as white as white can get (blonde hair, blue eyes, the whole bit). School was not his strong suit and he was not very driven though he is very bright.

I ended it because I couldn't be loyal for much longer, and there were no plans for him coming to me or me going to him. It was like it was online-bound and with no real future. He understood and till this day, we keep in contact. He resolves any technical issues I have (like a few months ago, I needed PDFs that I couldn't download from my phone and didn't want to do anything sketchy, so he downloaded it and sent it through a drive), a couple of years ago, he had credit with Apple (and also worked for them for a few months) and asked me if I wanted or needed anything, and he mailed me an ipod nano.

We follow up with each other about once a year if not less frequently, our talks are mostly technical, he keeps me up to date on the latest technology since I'm never up to the latest.

What can I say? I can't complain about life, it's been great to me.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 11
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What is your longest internet only relationship
Posted: 4/8/2016 12:07:06 PM
IG: I became acquainted with the co-writer of my last film through the same FFC website. She and I have never met in real life (she lives in Hawaii) -- we worked on the project together entirely through email and chat. So now she has a professional writing credit because I was impressed with her horror writing style on that site. Several other regulars are my FB friends -- again, I have never met any of them. I haven't actively participated in the site in many years but still check in every now and then to see what's going on.

Besides last year's infamous forumite meeting in Tampa, I met one other forum regular several years ago just because we were close to the same age and lived only a few minutes apart. She was a much nicer person in real life than she was on this message board but that's probably true of a lot of us. Shortly thereafter she moved hundreds of miles away so I never saw her again and she also stopped posting on the board around the same time.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 12
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What is your longest internet only relationship
Posted: 4/8/2016 12:33:49 PM
I used to belong to a site where I felt friendly with several people over a ten year period, but I knew I didn't really know them. As time went on it became clear that some of them were cray-cray, some plain lying, some really creepy, and others okay as online friends but not as someone I'd want in my life face-to-face. I never thought any of them were my boyfriends or friends other than online, that doesn't mean I didn't really enjoy their company online, some I sent cards or notes to offline, but I really don't get that caught up with people online. Now one of the men, married with a wife that I talked to on the phone, no funny business, wanted to go on a cruise, his wife refuse to get on a ship and she was fine with me going. I had just gotten out of the hospital, it was a particularly bad time in my life & health, and he thought we could both use a cruise. It was a great cruise, no harm, no foul. His wife didn't want him going alone since the year before he'd had a stroke, just one of those things that worked out. Anyway, that was in 2002, and a couple of years ago we lost touch, as I did with the others from the same site.
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 13
What is your longest internet only relationship
Posted: 4/8/2016 1:11:26 PM

IG: I became acquainted with the co-writer of my last film through the same FFC website. She and I have never met in real life (she lives in Hawaii) -- we worked on the project together entirely through email and chat.


That is soooo cool. The guys that I met there were really super cool. One of the ladies ended up publishing three more literary romance novels. One of the guys ended up publishing a book of short stories about growing up in Alabama. They published one of my stories through Zoetrope Short Story Extra. A man with a dim halo. I had a friend here in Atlanta that wanted to produce it, but we realize that we needed a much bigger budget to do it right.

The other day I came across the magazine at the bookstore and though maybe to workshop a couple of other short stories over there.
 maybeebaybee1
Joined: 2/12/2016
Msg: 14
What is your longest internet only relationship
Posted: 4/8/2016 2:07:19 PM
Maybe a week or so. But I never considered that person to be a boyfriend. I wasn't like all changing my facebook status to "in a relationship" after an hour lol
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 15
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What is your longest internet only relationship
Posted: 4/8/2016 2:33:07 PM
The only one I ever had a date with. Now, this is quite bizarre, I live acrossed the street from her daughter. It just so happens that they are on the outs with each other. She actually lives about two miles from me. Us dating only lasted a month. I like her as a friend, and she's great to talk to-for a while. But she happens to tell me the same stories-over and over. We had a FWB relationship going for a short while, but she met some else that's more fitting for her. She's happy, I'm fine with that.

That only lasted a month, I'd rather have her for a friend.
 ebolakitty
Joined: 3/19/2016
Msg: 16
What is your longest internet only relationship
Posted: 4/8/2016 2:41:05 PM
16 years and counting.
 ndm147
Joined: 8/1/2013
Msg: 17
What is your longest internet only relationship
Posted: 4/8/2016 3:23:24 PM
I have quite a few friends, both male and female, that live all over the world and country, that I met only on line taking Coursera courses on literature and poetry and art. Obviously none are romantic. We are friends because of shared interests. We "talk" on facebook.

There are two men on another dating site I have never met but we continue to send messages every once in a while. They live too far away to meet in person and for various reasons I have no romantic interest in either, but we are friends.

As for internet dating, if I don't meet a local guy within a short period of time, I lose interest.
 CarefreeBeauty
Joined: 5/30/2014
Msg: 18
What is your longest internet only relationship
Posted: 4/8/2016 3:39:20 PM
Seven or eight years~

He lives far far away in another galaxy^

Hola mon ami< ;-)
 ThatGirlNamedAlli
Joined: 12/28/2013
Msg: 19
What is your longest internet only relationship
Posted: 4/8/2016 3:41:19 PM
back when computers were new to me, I think it was icq I met someone and talked for 3 months or so. It didn't go well. He lived in a different city where I also have a lot of family at. So it wasn't a huge deal. I just felt dumb, still do actually.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 20
What is your longest internet only relationship
Posted: 4/8/2016 3:48:30 PM
There's a few forumites I converse with through email, both on site and off.

At one time in my early dating days, I would gleefully consider taking a flight to hopefully find love. I did fly someone here once and also traveled to meet someone else.

Now? Meh. I'm too cynical to make that investment.

I had a few pen pal type thingies but they usually only lasted a few weeks to a month. Both of us realizing it was a dead end.

I admit that while I'm not looking for a pen pal, there have been a few occasions where I thought I just might have found a compatible person based on our messaging.

It does make you wonder if your soulmate might be out there across state lines...
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 12/24/2015
Msg: 21
What is your longest internet only relationship
Posted: 4/8/2016 4:14:39 PM
Internet crushes are fun. Meeting people in real life off the internet isn't fun, the vast majority of the time. In my experience.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 22
What is your longest internet only relationship
Posted: 4/8/2016 8:46:31 PM
dragonbytes- The closest thing I can think of happened under pretty weird circumstance.
My ex lost his mind a bit post divorce (for the meme's here that like to find fault with EVERYTHING, let me make it clear that I did not and do not, think that was because of me, who knows? Maybe he had a mid life crisis or something).
He was in a pattern of meeting women in other states (online, of course) and talking about being "in love" after a couple of weeks (sometimes without having even met them).
Weird, but ok, whatever, not my problem.
Then it became my problem because he decided to move one in that he had only met in person once. :0
Needless to say, I flipped out a bit, he was an adult, if he wound up on an episode of "Who the heck did I move in", got fleeced, whatever, hey he's grown, but now she's going to be around my children so naturally I wanted to know a few things about her.
Neither of them would budge about an introduction, so I messaged her ex, yup, I sure did.
I needed to know she was sane, that she wouldn't hurt my children.
Turns out her ex was very nice, he assured my as best he could that I didn't need to worry.
Turns out he was right, but for a different reason.
Surprise, surprise, after my ex moved her across the country they figured out they weren't compatible and she moved out.
I am still chatting with him ex via facebook, as a matter of fact, he's helping me with my weight loss endevour and we share some awesome music videos with each other from time to time.
I guess you never know when/how you might make a friend. ;)
 StumbledN
Joined: 12/20/2014
Msg: 23
What is your longest internet only relationship
Posted: 4/8/2016 11:10:21 PM

Either friends only, or a romantic relationship where you have never actually met face to face.

I'm not sure how a romantic relationship without meeting face to face would work. But I've had several internet/phone friendships that I have never met. One in particular that I depend on for advice and council and we met in a thread here in the forums 8 years ago. We mostly email but occasionally talk on the phone. And we've coached each other through a couple of romances each over the years. It's been great. I can talk to her about things that I'd never tell some of my face to face friends lol!
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 24
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What is your longest internet only relationship
Posted: 4/9/2016 6:30:26 AM

I'm not sure how a romantic relationship without meeting face to face would work.


I did have a erotic virtual two month hook up with a POF member that profiled herself as 18.

She lived in Maine, and the MSG exchange was a lot like what would have happened in real life.

I was never more than 70% sure she really was 18% and who she said she was, though I doubted she lived in the actual location on POF, as it was mostly a forest preserve in Maine. Though I did have an uncle who lived in such a place. I thought it likely she really did live in Maine.

I was up for visiting her, she was curious how sex would be with an old dude. (At that time, I wasn't married)

Then said she met a 16 year old hottie that she wanted to train. She tended to like younger men she could teach, she enjoyed the excitement.

I have had a couple of women that appeared to want to engage in sexting, but unless it's possible to meet eventually, my heart isn't into that sort of thing.

Now that I am married, I wouldn't want to engage even in flirting, as I tend to want to convert ANY sort of romantic relationship to a physical one. It's not possible to "friendzone" me for long, I would just drop out if it was obvious sex was off the table.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 25
What is your longest internet only relationship
Posted: 4/9/2016 7:44:11 AM
A month. I would say that person is my phone/internet girlfriend as a joke. But I never seriously considered it to be a relationship.
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