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 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 1
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Barfing up Positivity in a ProfilePage 1 of 1    

...so it's best to be a pessimist by policy and an optimist by temperament

When people get huge setback in their lives - losing loved ones, a job, car crash - things of that nature - a lot of them seem to sink into a funk for some time. I rarely ever give myself that pleasure. If a major problem arises, I'm trying to solve it, not blame it. That's is my character. I keep moving forward, in mind and spirit.

What I don't understand is why I find writing glowing, uplifting, smarmy things in my online dating profile to be nauseating. I feel like I'm forcing a huge smile just so the dentist can attack it with his drill. I find bragging about myself to be a waste of my ego, when I really would rather find someone in here to pay me a compliment once in a while.

I don't really want or need a profile review at this time - I've changed it already about 16 times this week, and it's nowhere near a literary masterpiece. I just wanted to know if others feel the same way - that selling yourself feels 'wrong', or no matter what you write, there are still a lot of "No"s, "Not"s, and "Never"s in the text. What is the level of 'optimism' needed to sell yourself online? - It's seems to me that some people want an almost comical level of positivity, like something even a basket of furry kittens would cringe at. Am I wrong?
 Forums_only
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 2
Barfing up Positivity in a Profile
Posted: 4/18/2016 9:33:56 PM
Well, you kinda do need a profile review, but I don't believe you'll take any suggestions anyway right now.

Yes, you are wrong.
And- bonus - you are in the wrong Forum to be venting about it.

Let us know if you change your mind and would be open to some suggestions.
 Scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 3
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Barfing up Positivity in a Profile
Posted: 4/18/2016 9:38:33 PM
I would say just be real. :-)

There are plenty of ways to talk about one's self without lying or being happy-happy-sunshine-and-rainbows. The goal here isn't to package yourself in shiny wrapping paper. The goal is to just be you - some girls are going to like you, and some aren't. Write for the girl you want to attract. Use words to paint a picture of what it's like to date you...without cliches and lists. Tell them everything, without telling them anything. I feel like The Sphynx from Mystery Men.

If you are feeling like a used car salesman when it comes to advertising yourself, then you should probably take a break from the dating world and work on yourself some. Only when you're confident in who you are, will you be able to emit positive vibes out there.
 Iredurbio2
Joined: 4/18/2013
Msg: 4
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Barfing up Positivity in a Profile
Posted: 4/18/2016 11:07:36 PM
Whenever I say wow,check that out!People will say check what out?
Thats when I am usually pointing at myself.
I'd have to borrow a gun and put it to my head
If was going to be that guy.You try to hard and it shows.
Off the cuff,out of the ordinary or just funny as hell
is what I am comfortable with!
 Mark_It_Up
Joined: 3/15/2011
Msg: 5
Barfing up Positivity in a Profile
Posted: 4/19/2016 3:30:12 AM

I don't really want or need a profile review at this time

So why'd you post in the profile reviews forum eh? Did you read the rules thread which states this forum is only for asking for profile reviews?
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 6
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Barfing up Positivity in a Profile
Posted: 4/19/2016 5:48:52 AM
My thread is supposed to be totally about the content people put into profiles - so what would be the most appropriate thread? If you don't think it should be here, then offer an alternate location, not just complain about it.

Honestly, I think people would whine about the location of this thread even if it was buried in the 'Off Topic' forum.

I do agree with Scaretale that if you can't be nice about yourself, it's probably wise to 'time out' until you can.
 Mark_It_Up
Joined: 3/15/2011
Msg: 7
Barfing up Positivity in a Profile
Posted: 4/19/2016 6:17:06 AM
I don't know where it should be. General discussion or whatever.

All I know is that there's a sticky post in RED CAPITAL LETTERS giving the forum rules, and number 1 rule is:


If you're NOT ASKING FOR YOUR PROFILE to be REVIEWED - your thread WILL BE DELETED. This forum is not a platform to just rant or make general observations about other people's profiles.


I would have expected a regular poster like yourself to be well aware of this, and respectful of the forum rules.
 Forums_only
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 8
Barfing up Positivity in a Profile
Posted: 4/19/2016 6:38:08 AM

then offer an alternate location


Off Topic would be perfect.

You still REALLY need a profile review. And an attitude adjustment, but we can only help you with the profile part.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 9
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Barfing up Positivity in a Profile
Posted: 4/19/2016 6:53:02 AM

When people get huge setback in their lives - losing loved ones, a job, car crash - things of that nature - a lot of them seem to sink into a funk for some time. I rarely ever give myself that pleasure. If a major problem arises, I'm trying to solve it, not blame it. That's is my character. I keep moving forward, in mind and spirit.


You often seem to be in quite a funk about your dating prospects. This thread is all about complaining.

From your current profile: "I don't get into drunks, tattoos or motorcycles."

Really, what's the point of that?

Do you get a lot of MSGs from "drunks, tattoos or motorcycles" enthusiasts? Because even at the peak of my own dating prospects, I didn't get enough MSG to really get all bothered about a few that weren't a match.

BTW, while I am not into tattoos or motorcycles, if a hot tattooed motorcycle mama were to have contacted me, I would have given it a real try. If nothing else, I like novelty.

(FWIW I did at one time one and drive one of the fastest kawasaki 2 strokes cycles ever produced, but it was just for the hell of it, I wasn't really into motorcycles. I ended up owning it serendipitously, I never intended to own a cycle.)
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 10
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Barfing up Positivity in a Profile
Posted: 4/19/2016 7:02:35 AM

You still REALLY need a profile review.


He came through here years ago and didn't listen. I distinctly remember advice to change the username and to ditch a ground level picture of him doing a pushup.

And Daminal, you've been here long enough to know damn well that your post has no place in this forum. Be so kind as to direct your vapid venting to other forums.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 11
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Barfing up Positivity in a Profile
Posted: 4/19/2016 7:54:46 AM
Given the negativity you feel even about the idea of having a more positive profile, I think you should leave your profile as is -- but I wholeheartedly agree with the suggestion to change your username.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 12
Barfing up Positivity in a Profile
Posted: 4/19/2016 8:10:27 AM
OP, you have had multiple reviews. You have also been around for years so you knew this was the wrong forum.
I agree, post in Off topic.
 call_me_tater
Joined: 12/30/2014
Msg: 13
Barfing up Positivity in a Profile
Posted: 4/19/2016 8:29:33 AM
So most of us remember your previous review where you were given solid advice and you defended your profile without changing a thing.
To me, this is attention seeking as you pretend to not know the forum rules.
How difficult is it to understand that "Profile Reviews" is for reviewing profiles?
 tennistown
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 14
Barfing up Positivity in a Profile
Posted: 4/19/2016 11:08:52 AM

Posted By: Sweet_Danimal
I don't really want or need a profile review at this time - I've changed it already about 16 times this week


Perhaps your 17th attempt
will be more to your liking.

Since you don't want a review,
I will will pass up
this golden opportunity
to do so.
















.
 LAEPF
Joined: 3/18/2016
Msg: 15
Barfing up Positivity in a Profile
Posted: 4/20/2016 2:02:19 AM
I too have revised my profile tons and tons of times. And, I too, abhor the 'always having to be up' in these profiles...it's why I quit outside sales after 10 years. But, I don't want to hear negativity from guys either because it just comes across as self pity.

We've all had some rough times. I just tend to not focus on that in a profile. It's what I've done with the dark stuff and how I've turned my life around today that counts. But again, an online dating profile is not the place to air it. Instead, I just try to be real. I write, kind of as a hobby, and I learned a long time ago to write how I talk, so that's what I do. I can be snarky and also comically self-deprecating. Poking fun at ourselves is way more appealing than making fun of others. It is way sexier too.

You say you want a compliment once in a while? That reminds me of a song by Collective Soul, called, Compliment...lol. Contrary to popular male belief, women's 'inboxes' are not overflowing with messages from hot guys. At least mine isn't. And the compliments I get are usually the ones I don't want. I really don't like it when some guy from cyber space is throwing compliments at me on the other side of a computer screen. It's actually kind of creepy.

Maybe the trouble is in your messages. If you really want help with that, post some sample messages and see what women in your target age range think about it.

Good luck. Don't give up. We are all in this together.
Leslie:)
 LAEPF
Joined: 3/18/2016
Msg: 16
Barfing up Positivity in a Profile
Posted: 4/20/2016 2:16:51 AM
Wow Scaretale, an accountant with a sense of humor! I've only laughed that hard with like, maybe...one other guy's profile here on POF. Too bad I'd feel like a cougar if we dated or you'd feel like I was your sugar mama even though I'm broke. Keep up the good work!

Leslie:)

PS to all the guys wondering what makes a good profile. Just copy and paste his, unless POF doesn't allow plagiarism.
 Scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 17
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Barfing up Positivity in a Profile
Posted: 4/20/2016 7:42:18 AM
Hey thanks, Leslie :-)
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