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 LJane_6
Joined: 6/10/2015
Msg: 1
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FYI: To all men - SMILE!Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Please be smiling in your profile pics! What is with all the guys on here who look miserable/brooding/are staring down at the computer screen with a double chin? Regardless of how great your profile is, this knocks off a few points. Happiness is attractive! *end rant*
 Forums_only
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 2
FYI: To all men - SMILE!
Posted: 4/19/2016 7:11:52 PM
You have a decent start to your profile, but could make it easier for your viewer with a few tweaks.

The 'friends wedding' photo from a few years ago is obsolete. Photos should be current. If you want to claim you look 'exactly the same', don't tell your viewer it's a few years old.

In your Interests field, it would be helpful to mention something that describes your sense of humour. A favourite tv show, comedian, etc. The profile says something about a good sense of humour but that's too vague to be of any use.

Paragraphs (like I've done here) will make it SO much easier for your viewer to read through. You could easily add a few more details (something you love about your work? why you want to visit South America?) to help open up conversation.

Good luck!
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 3
FYI: To all men - SMILE!
Posted: 4/19/2016 7:16:10 PM

He looked depressed, even angry, almost serial killer creepy.


Meanwhile, the guy with the smiling photos and a criminal record in 6 states cut HIS online dating partner up into pieces.
 Scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 4
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FYI: To all men - SMILE!
Posted: 4/19/2016 7:22:14 PM

The 'friends wedding' photo from a few years ago is obsolete. Photos should be current. If you want to claim you look 'exactly the same', don't tell your viewer it's a few years old.


Uh...she does look the same as a few years ago?

She reminds me of the Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. She'll probably look 30 for another 15 years.

I think as long as you have a couple recent photos...it's ok to post some older ones if they are fun or show you doing something interesting.
 Forums_only
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 5
FYI: To all men - SMILE!
Posted: 4/19/2016 9:50:37 PM
It's really rather hard to tell on the wedding shot as it's kinda dull and badly lit, but okay... she still has long hair and boobs, so sure - she looks exactly the same. (why bother saying it's an old photo then?)

The UBC study of just under 1000 people from 2011 had a rating scale of 1-5. The results for 4 different expressions:

The photos were categorized into the same four categories — happy, proud, ashamed and neutral — by research assistants who did not know why the photos were being categorized. The study participants were asked to rate the attractiveness of the people in the photos.

In all cases, men rated "happy" women highest — above five on the scale. Proud women were rated on average one to two points lower, and were rated lowest among those shown the online photos.

Women consistently rated the proud men highest, with a rating of four to five. They rated happy men about one point lower. Younger women rated happy men lowest, while older women tended to rate happy and ashamed men equally and neutral men lower.


One point lower. One. The sample expression for "proud" which rated higher also included a smile. Still, I'd rather have contacted someone who looked like he knew how to have fun that someone auditioning for Zoolander 2. Whatever, it's all a matter of individual taste and swapping out the photos occasionally may make a difference for some.
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 6
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FYI: To all men - SMILE!
Posted: 4/20/2016 6:13:48 PM
If you think an OK cupid blog is well researched independently verified peer reviewed scientific research then I feel bad for you.

Any research done by a company on it's self is to be take with a massive pitch of salt


There are SO many other factors that go into if someone is going to respond to your photos that it is very very difficult to research, though a proper study would be very interesting.

It's anecdotal but here women consistently say they like men smile in photos, plus I think people look friendly-er when they smile, more warm and open, so I smile.



The only real rule for a dating profile is, go with what works for you. If smiling gets you responses then smile, if not smiling works the don't smile. But don't smile/not smile just because some heavily biased unscientific research told you to.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 7
FYI: To all men - SMILE!
Posted: 4/20/2016 6:46:25 PM

It found that women rated smiling men as less attractive compared to those with swaggering or brooding poses. Go figure.


No need to go figure.

Marlon Brando and James Dean were 2 of the biggest pop culture icons in the 1950s (rebels image), and their influence continues.

Google their names, click on the "more images", and you can see hundreds of photos of both, and see how many they are smiling in versus not smiling.
I can tell you before you even look, it's overwhelmingly "non-smiling".

It's nothing new.
 Forums_only
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 8
FYI: To all men - SMILE!
Posted: 4/20/2016 8:52:25 PM
The only reason I'd consider 'clicking' on a guy's profile with a photo of him not smiling/looking at the camera was to see if he posted any pictures of him actually smiling and looking at the camera so I could see what he freakin' looked like. What a waste of time.

Wonder what the stats say about how long someone lingered in a non-smiling/non-looking main photo profile. << Not really.
 LJane_6
Joined: 6/10/2015
Msg: 9
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FYI: To all men - SMILE!
Posted: 4/21/2016 1:31:58 AM

Marlon Brando and James Dean were 2 of the biggest pop culture icons in the 1950s (rebels image), and their influence continues. Google their names, click on the "more images", and you can see hundreds of photos of both, and see how many they are smiling in versus not smiling.


Ok, maybe for someone who is a movie star like the guys you mentioned, a "brooding" look can be kind of hot. But, when I'm looking at a random guy online, I'm trying to get a sense of his personality. Some of these guys' photos look like a deer in the headlights, or a mug shot. A far cry from James Dean, lol. IRL, I want to meet a guy who's fun and has a personality, and it helps to show that by smiling. Someone mentioned not looking directly at the camera, and I agree there may be something to this. If one is looking straight at the camera with a forced, awkward smile like in a yearbook photo, that may not have the desired effect. I still think it's good to look at the camera, at least in some of the pics. But try to use pics of yourself where you look relaxed and like you're having fun, like maybe a crop-out of yourself with some buddies or doing an activity. And this could be another thread altogether, but I'm sure most women agree that shirtless mirror selfies have to go. XD
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 10
FYI: To all men - SMILE!
Posted: 4/21/2016 4:46:54 AM
Are you asking for a profile review?
 LJane_6
Joined: 6/10/2015
Msg: 11
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FYI: To all men - SMILE!
Posted: 4/26/2016 12:57:22 AM
No. Lol. I was just finding it painful to see how many guys have terrible pictures up (not because they are terrible-looking, but because of the glazed-over facial expressions). So, I wanted to get it off my chest and hopefully someone might benefit from the advice. Haha
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 12
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FYI: To all men - SMILE!
Posted: 4/26/2016 2:18:13 AM
totally agree, why is that men don't smile as much as women??. Bad teeth or do they think they look sexy?? It is so much more appealing and friendly to smile in a pic. So guys, do it!!

Fullmoonguy

that "smiling assassin" you mention is one in 100 million I would think, so hardly a point well made.

 Forums_only
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 13
FYI: To all men - SMILE!
Posted: 4/26/2016 6:58:14 AM

So, I wanted to get it off my chest and hopefully someone might benefit from the advice. Haha


The oblivious ones don't know about this forum.
You are in the PROFILE REVIEW forum and are not requesting a review, but have been offered a few suggestions already.
May as well take advantage of the suggestions!
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 14
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FYI: To all men - SMILE!
Posted: 4/26/2016 11:53:31 AM

but statistics don't lie.


Lies, damn lies, and statistics.

OK's compilation would fall somewhere even further down the scale.
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 15
FYI: To all men - SMILE!
Posted: 4/26/2016 1:31:33 PM
While there is nothing wrong with smiling [of course] my own personal experience has been that what "many" Forum people "like/prefer" is overrated in the real Fish pond. I sometimes have ladies write and tell which pic they liked best. About a month ago I had 13 pics showing. [I had 16 but the nice FPP {Forum Picture Police} had 3 removed] . Maybe she was just having a bad hair day or maybe it was just a slow Forum day. Who knows. Anyway, a lady wrote and told me she liked <<< one the best.

So...repeat after me.

There is no accounting for what people are going to like in a pic.

Which is why any SHARP fish will rotate their main pic on a regular basis. At least every other day.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 16
FYI: To all men - SMILE!
Posted: 4/26/2016 3:38:06 PM

Fullmoonguy

that "smiling assassin" you mention is one in 100 million I would think, so hardly a point well made.


For you, perhaps, because points go over your head all the time, due to your constant stereotypical thinking.

The point is, people think they have "formulas" for weeding out, being successful, etc., however their formulas are based on erroneous assumptions, as well as faulty thinking based on their own fears, phobias, and prejudices, which may or may not have anything to do with reality.

Like only people with smiling pics are worth talking to, or only people WITH pics are worth talking to, or people who don't smile in their pics are creepy and not worth talking to.
Superficial psychobabble.
Which can be proven false over and over again.
 LJane_6
Joined: 6/10/2015
Msg: 17
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FYI: To all men - SMILE!
Posted: 4/26/2016 11:45:58 PM

their formulas are based on erroneous assumptions...Like only people with smiling pics are worth talking to, or only people WITH pics are worth talking to, or people who don't smile in their pics are creepy and not worth talking to.
Superficial psychobabble.
Which can be proven false over and over again.


This may be true, but the reality is, people don't know you by looking at your profile on OLD. A nice guy may look like a serial killer in his photo and vice-versa. But, women are scrolling through lots of profiles, are only going to write/respond to a select few, and like I said, most are trying to get a sense of the guy's personality. Happy, personable-looking people are going to attract more interest than a closed-off apprearance or blank stare, IMO, anyway.
 Scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 18
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FYI: To all men - SMILE!
Posted: 4/27/2016 6:38:50 AM

Like only people with smiling pics are worth talking to, or only people WITH pics are worth talking to, or people who don't smile in their pics are creepy and not worth talking to.
Superficial psychobabble.
Which can be proven false over and over again.



Uh...this is a dating website, not an anonymous chat room.

You have to put up pictures to expect a response. People have to be able to see who the other person is so they can make the decision if they want to invest time into correspondence.

Like it or not, physical chemistry/attraction is necessary for most people. Not putting up pictures says something about you.

There is a website for dating that doesn't require pictures - it's called Craigslist.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 19
FYI: To all men - SMILE!
Posted: 4/27/2016 10:01:48 AM
FYI To all women - get rid of the SUNGLASSES already !
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 20
FYI: To all men - SMILE!
Posted: 4/28/2016 3:15:28 PM

There is a website for dating that doesn't require pictures - it's called Craigslist.


There is also one called POF, which doesn't require pictures.

Or did you miss that part when you signed up?


Not putting up pictures says something about you.


Yes, it says I'm not interested in putting my pictures on some stranger's random international website.

Especially one which has been hacked twice already.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 21
FYI: To all men - SMILE!
Posted: 4/28/2016 3:19:59 PM
What on Earth does it say about you?
A lot of people don't have photos up. I've had men be able to send me pictures ( so much for that rule)
And why not complain about people using grainy, dark, blurry, OLD pictures?
 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 22
FYI: To all men - SMILE!
Posted: 5/2/2016 12:49:18 PM
He looked depressed, even angry, almost serial killer creepy.

yes, the fail-safe test as to whether someone is a "serial killer'

because none of them ever, ever smile, could be considered handsome, or lure in victims

Ted Bundy? err

be scared of someone unsmiling and trust anyone smiling..so scientific? lol
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