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Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > Grammar, "attention seeking", and assertive communication.      Home login  
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 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 12/24/2015
Msg: 1
Grammar, "attention seeking", and assertive communication.Page 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Grammar: A lot of people on here are passionate about it. Sometimes we point out others' grammatical errors. I like it when it's done gently. There's often shame attached to literacy difficulties, though, and I positively cringe when people on here berate others for poor grammar. Do some people on here assume that grammar is a reflection of overall intelligence, and that the opinions of people with poor grammar aren't worth considering? Or that it's a moral issue?? Another thing: So say someone is self-conscious about their writing ability, but they go outside of their comfort zone and post on here, and then are ridiculed. It reminds me of when people make derogatory remarks about a fat person they see exercising. Is it just me, or does this not make much sense?

"Attention seeking": Sometimetimes people need to feel validated. Sometimes they need interaction. Often attention seeking is applied to children. I've always felt that if a child needs attention, they should be given attention. Am I alone in this, and can it not apply to adults, as well?

Assertive communication 101: Aggression puts a wall up, and causes people to get defensive, in which case they don't really absorb what you're saying. I could go on, but my A.D.D. just kicked in so hopefully this is enough about that.

If people vote to delete this thread and give the reason of "attention seeking"... well, that might be humorous.
 Llove2laughtoo
Joined: 1/11/2016
Msg: 2
Grammar, attention seeking, and assertive communication.
Posted: 4/19/2016 7:39:06 PM
Some people fail to understand that for some forumites English is their second, third or fourth language. Therefore grammatical errors will be made. To encourage more participation we should be more accepting and tolerant of others instead of ridiculing or making derogatory remarks.
 deetristate
Joined: 12/4/2014
Msg: 3
Grammar, attention seeking, and assertive communication.
Posted: 4/19/2016 7:44:58 PM
People correct grammar when they have no valid response on the issue.

They delete threads because they have no other power in their lives and deleting makes them feel powerful and in control.

It is all quite sad and you just have to tolerate such people. It takes all kinds.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 4
Grammar, attention seeking, and assertive communication.
Posted: 4/19/2016 8:02:42 PM

Sometimes we point out others' grammatical errors.


Like this:


Sometimetimes people need to feel validated.



Do some people on here assume that grammar is a reflection of overall intelligence, and that the opinions of people with poor grammar aren't worth considering?


Yes.


I could go on,


Go right ahead.
What else have you got?
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 5
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History
Grammar, attention seeking, and assertive communication.
Posted: 4/19/2016 8:47:09 PM
My kids and I have always corrected each other, I've never thought of it as an insult. When something clunks, I don't see any problem with pointing it out, I do not see how it makes one feel superior, just as soon as I tell someone that they made an error, I will make one, or two, or three LOL I do know that some do it to insult but even if someone is moved to insult me, I might still learn something.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 6
Grammar, attention seeking, and assertive communication.
Posted: 4/19/2016 9:26:17 PM

Do some people on here assume that grammar is a reflection of overall intelligence, and that the opinions of people with poor grammar aren't worth considering?

I generally stop reading anything that has grammar errors in it. If the respected author did not bother to proofread, the writing not worth bothering with.
 HealthySkeptic
Joined: 8/3/2010
Msg: 7
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Grammar, attention seeking, and assertive communication.
Posted: 4/19/2016 9:41:37 PM
You know, I took 8 high school English classes and a university class in English. But it was all literature, no basic grammar or spelling. Lots of analyzing poetry, reading Shakespeare, modes, themes, etc, etc. But I don't know what a participle is, much less a dangling one. And I can't spell. And it is getting worse with age.

When I split up with my wife, I thought I was seperated instead of separated. Getting a divorce was a relief, because then I could actually spell my marital status.

Yet some things make me wince. Incorrect use of homonyms (you know,their, there, they're). And now, for some reason, when someone uses seperated, it bothers me. And I made that mistake for years. So I know to keep my mouth shut.

Remember the line from the original Star Trek: "To boldly go where no man has gone before..." Funny enough I remember that line, and the fact that it contained a split infinitive (should be "To go boldly" or some such). I have no idea why I remember that one...

LoveToLaugh make a good point regarding English as a subsequent language. My ex-girlfriend was ESL. If I made an effort not to sound patronizing, she appreciated my corrections. We played a lot of scrabble and she got pretty good. Oh, and the the idioms are especially difficult. At work we had a lot of consultants from India, most had a great command of English, so I would kind of forget their ESL status. I once said I was "feeling a little under the weather today." They all looked out the window to see if it was raining...

Oh damn, I just saw that I was in Off Topic. Scary stuff in here...
 oj126
Joined: 3/28/2016
Msg: 8
Grammar, attention seeking, and assertive communication.
Posted: 4/20/2016 6:13:21 AM
60% of Americans feel like a foreigner in THEIR own land. funny , these seem to be the country's demographics as well. To become a NATION , three criteria must be met. A common race. A common faith. A common language. In current amerika . all three have been violated. Nationalistic enclaves offer American Only as a language. Don't look to speak the language of the invader in our areas. Balkanization is progressing at an impressive rate ; speak the language you desire in the nation-state you desire. Once again , stop the hate , separate. Press one for Euro-American Only. The Immigration and Naturalization Act of 1789 was presented for exactly this reason ; to convey the language of the forefathers.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 9
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Grammar, attention seeking, and assertive communication.
Posted: 4/20/2016 6:22:31 AM

If the respected author did not bother to proofread, the writing not worth bothering with.


Irony at its finest.
 missmgregor
Joined: 2/14/2016
Msg: 10
Grammar, attention seeking, and assertive communication.
Posted: 4/20/2016 6:32:54 AM
Assertive communication? I've taken lots of heat here. People have messaged me and accused me of being nasty, obnoxious and a bull in a China shop. But to me this is only a message board. You can be anybody you want here. You can show contempt as you choose. It's foolish for anybody to care what others think. Nobody's mind is being changed by what somebody says on a message board. Nobody's world is being changed.

With a caveat, for those here with the primary purpose of dating, some of you make yourselves completely unnatractive by the personalities you portray on here. But if you are here just for the message board...have fun. Many are.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 12/2/2015
Msg: 11
Grammar, attention seeking, and assertive communication.
Posted: 4/20/2016 7:02:14 AM

I've taken lots of heat here. People have messaged me and accused me of being nasty, obnoxious and a bull in a China shop. But to me this is only a message board.

Well...who are you? People actually send private messages to you to complain about you.....lol?
There's so many of you with multiple profiles....that stir the $hit, contribute little..disappear to reappear..repeat.

I'm the first to recognize in myself...I'm awful at grammar. Have to admit....there are a few members posts, I have to read a few times to understand, including mine.
I try my best at spelling and trying to be concise and clear.

I don't know or care if someone agrees with my pov....isn't that what these boards are suppose to be?
YOU have the right to disagree but you're not going to change my mind by calling me names.
A few have made me step back and think about things but when it comes to name calling and being forever the "mean " person.
It is "attention seeking".....and not favorable....imo.
 Aprilovesrosasblancas
Joined: 2/24/2016
Msg: 12
Grammar, attention seeking, and assertive communication.
Posted: 4/20/2016 7:11:21 AM

a foreigner in THEIR own land. funny , To become a NATION , three criteria must be met. A common race. A common faith. A common language. In current amerika . all three have been violated.


Going by your post
This below is (are) the ONLY language YOU should be speaking right now.

Navajo Athabaskan
Cree
Ojibwa Algic
Cherokee
Dakota
Apache Athabaskan
Blackfoot Algic
Choctaw Muskogean

Most Native American languages have ceased to exist, or are spoken only by older speakers, with whom the language will die in the coming decades.
Only 8 indigenous languages of the area of the continental United States currently have a population of speakers in the U.S.

+=========================================

A common misconception is that there was one Native American language. In reality, there were perhaps a thousand languages spoken in the Americas before the arrival of Europeans - about 250 in the present territory of the United States alone. In addition, these languages showed tremendous variety between one another. . There was, however, a sign language used in some areas to allow communication between those of different tribes. This is described in detail in William Clark's book, "The Indian Sign Language".

The arrival of European culture was not kind to the indigenous cultures of the Americas. The population of the native civilizations of the current territory of the United States fell from about 20 million to the present level of less than 2 million. Beyond the shrinking size of the ethnic populations, the languages have also suffered due to the prevalence of English among those of Native American ancestry. Most Native American languages have ceased to exist, or are spoken only by older speakers, with whom the language will die in the coming decades.

=================================================

See?
That ^ is the truth about YOUR post.
 Onyx49
Joined: 3/6/2016
Msg: 13
Grammar, attention seeking, and assertive communication.
Posted: 4/20/2016 7:11:32 AM
As for the grammar, if you understand the point a person is making...regardless of the misspelling, what difference does it make ? Because the minute you start correcting people, you'll be the one making the typo's.....

Aggressive Communication, the only people that seem to complaint about this are those passive-aggressive types...
I live by old school ethics, don't start nothing...won't be nothing....right !!!!
 oj126
Joined: 3/28/2016
Msg: 14
Grammar, attention seeking, and assertive communication.
Posted: 4/20/2016 7:30:40 AM
Once again , "native Ameicans" are simply folks born in the USA. Indians were born in the USA. I was too. Actually Columbus was a repo man for the White Race as the Salutreans were here looooooong before. Additionally , White Man's Ingenuity requires exactly that ; Whites. Indians have a Nation State given to them. ie. The Cherokee Nation , one of the most successful business entities in the State of Alabama. Impressive , a gubmint sanctioned , tax free NATION. May White People be offered the same opportunity to play on the tax free playing field?

guess not , LOL
 Aprilovesrosasblancas
Joined: 2/24/2016
Msg: 15
Grammar, attention seeking, and assertive communication.
Posted: 4/20/2016 7:33:23 AM
English for us (foreign adult or older kids 10 yrs up ) is very hard and complicated language, because you pronounce in one way but it is spelled in another,
Spanish is so easy because the same way you pronounce a word that same way it is spelled, and because of that, it gets harder for us (the older) to learn English.

I did learn from the beginning when to use your and you're, this and these, their and they're I had no problem with that.
I am having problems with ( IN) and (ON) when to use these words.... I do use "IN" in everything I write...lol
 Llove2laughtoo
Joined: 1/11/2016
Msg: 16
Grammar, attention seeking, and assertive communication.
Posted: 4/20/2016 7:47:53 AM


Msg: 14
Once again , "native Ameicans" are simply folks born in the USA. Indians were born in the USA. I was too. Actually Columbus was a repo man for the White Race as the Salutreans were here looooooong before. Additionally , White Man's Ingenuity requires exactly that ; Whites. Indians have a Nation State given to them. ie. The Cherokee Nation , one of the most successful business entities in the State of Alabama. Impressive , a gubmint sanctioned , tax free NATION. May White People be offered the same opportunity to play on the tax free playing field?


Clayton Bigsby doth protest too much, me thinks. Don’t you have anything to contribute? You keep hijacking every thread you participate by injecting your Stormfront ideology. Give it up, nobody but your minions clapping like trained seals care.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 17
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History
Grammar, attention seeking, and assertive communication.
Posted: 4/20/2016 8:20:30 AM
We are a common race, we are human, if you think you are a different race because of skin color or eye color or hair type, you are deluding yourself. We have never had a common faith or a common language, even in the worst of times, America has been diverse. Oh sure there are pockets of hate-filled slags trying to rule, but it never works because basically, Americans have never been raised in that sort of stifling atmosphere of tiny little minds trying to demand that white skin is of some importance. All that blah blah blah is both sickening & laughable. It didn't work for Hitler, and it's not going to work here. Don't you find it odd that you are demanding that America be something it's never been, because you want something that we've never had, and yet you don't call radical, racist terrorist as your ideal heroes, when you are chanting their beliefs?


Aggressive Communication, the only people that seem to complaint about this are those passive-aggressive types...


Oh the irony LOL
 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 18
Grammar, attention seeking, and assertive communication.
Posted: 4/20/2016 9:04:37 AM
April, I don't think there is any language that is truly "easy" to learn to a high level. Spanish, your first language, mother tongue, I assume, appears "easy" to you because you likely forget the tens of thousands of hours you spent learning it..pretty much every day 12 hours or more per day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, 366 in leap years..learning it from the age of 1 to 20 years old , or more.
Then people think they will learn a second languge as an adult with 2 or 3 hours a week for 6 months?
Not very realistic.
People with English as their first language may think it is "easy"..especially if they've never tried to learn another language.
In some aspects English is fairly simple gramatically.
Pretty much nouns do not have gender, as in many languages, no need to memorize, la casa, el coche, etc.
Thus no gender and number agreement of nouns and adjectives.
Verb conjugation is fairly simple for regular verbs..I run, you run, s/he runs, we run, they run..not many changes.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 19
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Grammar, attention seeking, and assertive communication.
Posted: 4/20/2016 9:10:43 AM
As a native speaker of German, I will say that I found English easy to learn in the sense that it doesn't take very long until one can communicate on a basic level.

However, I do believe that true proficiency at any language (including English) at the level of an educated native speaker, which includes mastery of an idiomatic rather than merely a grammatically correct use of the language is very rare for non-native speakers.

Still, I'm very grateful I had to learn English as a second language and not German, which is much harder than English on a basic, grammatical level.
 missmgregor
Joined: 2/14/2016
Msg: 20
Grammar, attention seeking, and assertive communication.
Posted: 4/20/2016 9:11:09 AM
Who was I? I was Bigguysal. Now I am missmgregor but I am male. Miss is just part of my name, kind of like a boy named sue. I am against any censorship, including onxy or the white supremacist. But I am not a woman from the dating side of these boards, many of whom gang up on others because they are intolerant and being what all guys know women are capable of being.

I seek refuge here from the gangs there although, with the turfing of bigguysal, no place is safe, and I assume some of the administrators are female too and they can strike anywhere.

I too have aliases in reserve. When you are a target, you would be foolish not to have them. So I never care anymore if turfed. Just come right on back.
 missmgregor
Joined: 2/14/2016
Msg: 21
Grammar, attention seeking, and assertive communication.
Posted: 4/20/2016 9:17:20 AM
I've met europeans who can speak six languages fluently. I am proud of my daughter who is minoring in spanish and also has a few years of french in highschool.
Personally I have always found learning a language very hard. I could sail through courses requiring deductive or inductive reasoning, but barely passed Spanish in high school. The required rote memorization was something I was never good at
 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 22
Grammar, attention seeking, and assertive communication.
Posted: 4/20/2016 10:53:19 AM
I've met people who CLAIM to speak 10 or more languages "fluently".. I have my doubts. but anyway, if they really can, more power to them.
I guess like all the people you meet who promptly inform you within a minute or 2 that they are "geniuses".."extremely intelligent"
(better than you, IOW) haha..

since you apparently don't know most of those languages, how do you "know" they speak them "fluently?"

self-reported?I recall a politician who claimed to speak 10 languages fluently, including Russian..but could not respond to the word "hello" ( Здравствуйте ) said in Russian by a reporter..LOL

and then you can debate what "fluent" means. does it mean being able to say hello, how are you? order in any restaurant? understand movies?
 Onyx49
Joined: 3/6/2016
Msg: 23
Happy 420 Day
Posted: 4/20/2016 12:29:05 PM
MSG-15

I don't think the, OP...meant anything about people with language barriers...however since you brought it up, no matter what Country you move too...it's ridiculous not to speak the Language.
Here is the United States...immigrants tend to find an area with a large population of their country men, avoiding the need to learn English.

Most get by fine, however keep in mind that anybody living here that can't speak English is considered illiterate...and should learn as soon as possible....
 oj126
Joined: 3/28/2016
Msg: 24
Grammar, attention seeking, and assertive communication.
Posted: 4/20/2016 12:40:04 PM
MSG 16

Will the massive bankruptcy claim from puerto rico contribute to the flood of Biblical proportion that the US is now facing?

While we face the most contentous election since Lincoln / Douglas ; folks are chosing up sides. Demographically , as well. Voting with their feet. The " one race mindset" of race mixers seems very at home in the multi culti citified environs of chicago , detroit , cleveland etc. Allow to me to extend the utmost in respect to those anti whites wishing to regress to the 3rd world. Such an abstention is deeply appreciated. Self segregation to an islamic land could also be an oppoertunity to consider.
 Aprilovesrosasblancas
Joined: 2/24/2016
Msg: 25
Grammar, attention seeking, and assertive communication.
Posted: 4/20/2016 1:06:00 PM

no matter what Country you move too...it's ridiculous not to speak the Language.
Here is the United States...immigrants tend to find an area with a large population of their country men, avoiding the need to learn English.
Most get by fine, however keep in mind that anybody living here that can't speak English is considered illiterate...and should learn as soon as possible....


Yes, I do agree with you on this.:)

===========================

Since you mention this on your headline (subject)
Can you send me a plant of 420? so I can start a business.!
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