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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Should you save things to talk about in person?      Home login  
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 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 2
Should you save things to talk about in person?Page 1 of 1    

Ive been talking to a guy from another dating site for a couple of weeks now...We message throughout the day daily


What you have is a pen pal with a stranger. If you want to be more than pen pals, stop with the messaging/texting until at least you get to meet face to face. Tell him to give you a call when he gets back in town and arrange a date to meet. For a lot of people, if you can't meet after 2, maybe 3 messages, it's good bye and good luck.
 wineaboutit
Joined: 2/18/2016
Msg: 3
Should you save things to talk about in person?
Posted: 4/21/2016 8:07:57 AM
It really is not a relationship if all you are doing is messaging or texting. You cannot possibly know how you feel about somebody you have never spent any time with in the real world.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 4
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Should you save things to talk about in person?
Posted: 4/21/2016 9:21:34 AM
I wouldn't waste so much time with somebody you haven't met.

If, after two weeks of chatting online/phone/skype, a guy told me that he was unavailable for yet another two weeks, I'd tell him to getting touch when he was ready to ask me out and talk to other people.

Things that start out this way never lead to anything, in my opinion.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 5
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Should you save things to talk about in person?
Posted: 4/21/2016 9:35:12 AM

It really is not a relationship if all you are doing is messaging or texting.

Ditto.

If you want a relationship, then make a real-life date. Don't wait for him to plan something! Do it yourself. Call out a date, time and place to meet. If he can't make the time, and doesn't offer an alternative, then it's probably not going to happen. Simple as that.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 6
Should you save things to talk about in person?
Posted: 4/21/2016 10:01:42 AM
my best friend for the last 15 years calls me daily. if I know we're going to get together, then i'll say, "let's wait until then."

with a vertitable stranger, i'd wait just b/c I want to read the look on their face with some of the questions I might ask. I want to see their body language. and yes, sometimes when you talk all the time...there's no reason to meet, except to dance horizontally. you're already talked yourself out.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 7
Should you save things to talk about in person?
Posted: 4/21/2016 11:50:21 AM

There are many things Id like to ask him/bring up but I think it would be nice to talk about it person.


Does this include asking him if he's single? You two have been texting/messaging daily for two weeks while he was in town, he knew he has a gig out of town and will be gone for two weeks, but he never once suggested getting together and meeting in person before he goes away. Something doesn't add up. It makes me wonder if he's actually going out of town.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 8
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Should you save things to talk about in person?
Posted: 4/21/2016 3:07:20 PM
Okay. I'll bite. I'll take the other side.

1. There's no such thing as a sure fire formula for success in mating. And, there's no such thing as a sure fire formula for failure. So the idea that talking too long causes things to not work out, is crap. Superstition. It comes from the true fact that people do talk a lot without following through. But some people talk a lot , AND follow through, but since people remember resentment more than they remember half-way successes ( a half-way success is where you make it through a few dates before you or they realize things wont work), the talkers end up getting a bad rap.

2. Life is big. Really big. It's deep, too. You can talk to someone for weeks about all kinds of stuff, and still not get into EVERYTHING. There are layers to what most people converse about. Most initial conversations are about the top most layers. Did you try this or that, did you like it. Later, after you get to know someone enough to have real trust and some commitment, you can talk about why you tried it. How you felt about your decision to risk. How it shaped your emotional profile. And so on.

Life is big and deep. People only run out of things to communicate about, when they run out of things they want to be involved with each other about. And when that happens, they move on, whether they got to the end with online chat, or while eating snacks at a coffee house.
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 9
Should you save things to talk about in person?
Posted: 4/21/2016 9:10:34 PM
NOTHING IS REAL UNTIL YOU MEET IN PERSON.

Repeat seven times.

What is worse is that if you then have long talks on the phone and one or the other creates an image in your head, then when you meet in person that does not match. You're done.
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