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 TucsonPug
Joined: 6/17/2015
Msg: 2
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What is the purpose of the 1st date?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
The first date is to see if you want to pursue it further.
You have the right idea but if there's no spark most women will move on.
 Justanotherchap
Joined: 12/4/2013
Msg: 3
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What is the purpose of the 1st date?
Posted: 5/6/2016 1:12:00 AM
If you're looking for a partner then I believe you simply have to get out there and meet loads of people. In your working and social life you probably meet loads of people very few of whom you would like to become best friends with. It's the same for finding a partner, the more people you meet the more chance you have.
 duracell_bunny_one
Joined: 1/21/2015
Msg: 4
What is the purpose of the 1st date?
Posted: 5/6/2016 1:36:51 AM
Surely most first dates are a 'go-see'?
I've met people I liked, people I wouldn't have normally been seen dead with,
and a couple that I detested within the first ten seconds.
(I'm sure there's a few out there that felt the same about me).
Everbody gotta start somewhere........

 BoardGamerGeek
Joined: 7/5/2015
Msg: 5
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What is the purpose of the 1st date?
Posted: 5/6/2016 2:47:07 AM
To check that their looks match their photos and that you approve.

To see if they can hold a decent conversation and keep you interested.

After that, the second date aims to see if there's a physical connection and whether this conversation trend can continue by doing something a little more exciting than a dinner date.

Give it time before you decide either way, don't fall for that whole "no spark in ten seconds crap"
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 6
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What is the purpose of the 1st date?
Posted: 5/6/2016 5:01:39 AM
Sorry BGG but as stated here:


the first meet is all about assessing their shaggability


those first few moments are vitally important. It's simple biology. Conversation is secondary. If someone doesn't fancy you on first sight, you'll be welcomed into their friendzone at best.
 Chuzz16
Joined: 3/26/2011
Msg: 7
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What is the purpose of the 1st date?
Posted: 5/6/2016 9:25:02 AM

Should it be an all out action packed day of belly laughs & cute things?


I can't think of anything worse than spending an action packed day with someone I have never met, let alone doing 'cute' things (what are cute things?)
I think the first date is all about finding out if you actually fancy the person enough to make it to a second date.
 winter_hyacinth
Joined: 11/14/2015
Msg: 8
What is the purpose of the 1st date?
Posted: 5/6/2016 10:45:03 AM
Interesting post, Cheshire Salt.


those first few moments are vitally important. It's simple biology. Conversation is secondary. If someone doesn't fancy you on first sight, you'll be welcomed into their friendzone at best.


Yup. Usually within the first 5 seconds.
 Dragracer428
Joined: 1/1/2012
Msg: 9
What is the purpose of the 1st date?
Posted: 5/6/2016 2:15:31 PM




those first few moments are vitally important. It's simple biology. Conversation is secondary. If someone doesn't fancy you on first sight, you'll be welcomed into their friendzone at best.


Yup. Usually within the first 5 seconds.


Some years ago I would have agreed with that but after a few meets that did not go like that I changed my mind. The lady in question would appear (yes I am always early Grin) and like everyone else on earth I would make a snap decision regarding physical attraction (yes I will meet the no picture women). But being a reasonably social guy I would go ahead with the meetup and a few times where the physical attraction was somewhat close to the go/no go line have my mind changed but her personality and intelligence.
The one time she then rejected me was a little hard on the ego but karma rules. LOL
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 10
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What is the purpose of the 1st date?
Posted: 5/11/2016 2:41:34 AM
Sorry Dragracer but if you didn't want to get their clothes off, personality and intelligence would still have taken a back seat. That's the way it goes.
 Dragracer428
Joined: 1/1/2012
Msg: 11
What is the purpose of the 1st date?
Posted: 5/11/2016 9:01:12 AM
^^^^^


Dragracer wrote
where the physical attraction was somewhat close to the go/no go line have my mind changed but her personality and intelligence.


See what I wrote, if there is no physical attraction I agree no amount of great personality is going to make want to take their clothes off .

Have had some great conversations with women on POF who were very interesting and would be wonderful dates but the physical was not there. Could possibly have be in a very good relationship well before this if I wasn't so dam shallow. LOL
 duracell_bunny_one
Joined: 1/21/2015
Msg: 13
What is the purpose of the 1st date?
Posted: 5/13/2016 11:27:11 AM
^ ^ ^ - somehow I'm just not feeling the love ..........

 Justanotherchap
Joined: 12/4/2013
Msg: 15
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What is the purpose of the 1st date?
Posted: 5/14/2016 2:37:40 AM

Do I read this right, there are women out there who wouldn't buy the first, or second, drink / cuppa / ice cream?


In my limited experience, most of them!
 Dragracer428
Joined: 1/1/2012
Msg: 16
What is the purpose of the 1st date?
Posted: 5/14/2016 6:04:04 AM




Do I read this right, there are women out there who wouldn't buy the first, or second, drink / cuppa / ice cream?


In my limited experience, most of them!


I find it interesting that my experience has been the opposite for most of the women I have met. They "allowed" me to buy first because I insisted.
 duracell_bunny_one
Joined: 1/21/2015
Msg: 18
What is the purpose of the 1st date?
Posted: 5/27/2016 2:46:11 AM
"My own experiments has shown a tendency for the more expensive location, to equal more dates, but only really lots of first dates, and few second dates !"

Having been here a while, I am still surprised by the number of single ladies who seem to be more-or-less skint.
POF used to stand for 'Plenty of Food' - I'm sure that it was a meal ticket for many.
I lose count of the hopefuls who list foreign holidays, cruising, theatre & fine wine and dining on their profiles.

Further to the second post, I think I'll opt for keeping my bits, and chance the lifespan guff.
I had a vasectomy years ago - no pregnancy issues, but the climax sensation is very different
and takes some getting used to....I had no complications after the surgery, btw........

As has already been said, first dates are a trial run. If it turns into more, so be it.....

 Aggers
Joined: 10/26/2012
Msg: 26
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What is the purpose of the 1st date?
Posted: 6/21/2016 11:31:01 AM

I've sent somewhere in the region of 106 messages & received no responses at all. I think I'm running out of women!!


John,

You wanna try, well over a 1,000 messages, mate. You are a mere novice my man. I have scoured every option available in the search +/- 14 years, as allowed. 250 miles, which gets you into "Spain" almost, with PoF's mileage calculations. Can quite honestly say that I found a handful of "probables" (no replies, btw) over the last couple of years. But in my defence, as others on here will concur, I am the fussiest bleeder on the planet and I have certain "beliefs" on how I conduct my life and how I let people enter into it. I just cannot compromise. (Ladies, criticise me as much as you want - "Aggers, I don't think OLD is for you" I KNOW)

I started a thread years ago complaining I had run out of choices and even considered moving because I could not tolerate the matches, the people and the lack of new members. How bad is that? (very bad) I am now in a different part of the UK, guess what nothing has changed.

My advice, I do not have any, just thought I would point out you are not alone!
 flossiescratchwood
Joined: 11/28/2015
Msg: 27
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What is the purpose of the 1st date?
Posted: 6/21/2016 3:32:20 PM
yunno I've been wondering a while .What the feck is this 'OLD' you keep waffling about? Irritates me immensely every time I have a look here. Answers on a postcard please maximum 140 characters. I'm off tomorrow to hospital to have bits chopped out of me so I shall look forward to your answer on my return.

 Dragracer428
Joined: 1/1/2012
Msg: 28
What is the purpose of the 1st date?
Posted: 6/21/2016 3:38:43 PM
OLD = On Line Dating
IRL = In Real Life
 flossiescratchwood
Joined: 11/28/2015
Msg: 29
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What is the purpose of the 1st date?
Posted: 6/21/2016 3:51:25 PM
haha that's so funny I feel dead embarrassed now.Thanks dragracer Gonna have to go back through Agger's posts now and try to make some sense of them. IRL I know.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 30
What is the purpose of the 1st date?
Posted: 6/21/2016 3:54:26 PM
The purpose of the first date is to determine how badly you want to do the naughty naughty dance together.
 Aggers
Joined: 10/26/2012
Msg: 33
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What is the purpose of the 1st date?
Posted: 6/24/2016 3:20:11 PM

Until you make the choice to pass by women that treat you with anything less than dignity and respect then you will keep meeting and wasting time on the women.


Which is actually what I have been championing for ages now. On this and a few of the other UK forums around this post and I got castigated and sarcasm for it? I will happily stay single until I find a match I would be happy with. It has been perceived as egotism, sexism on my part and me just being a nutter! But all it is is an honest opinion After being on here more (7) years than I care for.

The only thing I do critique, again only my opinion, that more often than not MY matches, the algorithms and search parameters do not deliver "the" results I would need to achieve that goal.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 35
What is the purpose of the 1st date?
Posted: 6/24/2016 7:29:39 PM

The purpose of the first date is to determine how badly you want to do the naughty naughty dance together.





This !

Totally agree !

Post of the century !
 duracell_bunny_one
Joined: 1/21/2015
Msg: 36
What is the purpose of the 1st date?
Posted: 6/25/2016 2:23:01 AM
..........and your point is ?

 Justanotherchap
Joined: 12/4/2013
Msg: 37
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Steak and Kidney pie
Posted: 6/25/2016 2:58:07 AM
Talking to a friend last night, she has just turned 60 and feeling very much left on the shelf partnerwise. She went on an internet date last week with a bloke who also professed to be 60. She reckoned he was at least 80. Politely, she stayed for a drink but told him off and left. However, not before he'd asked her to make a Steak and Kidney pie for his OAP club's shared lunch.
 *buzz*
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 38
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What is the purpose of the 1st date?
Posted: 7/2/2016 2:07:54 PM

shaggability op, the first meet is all about assessing their shaggability


Mind over matter?
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