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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Do you really want a THUG?      Home login  
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 BiggBailey
Joined: 9/15/2012
Msg: 1
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Do you really want a THUG?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
some women have called me soft and said that i should have more "thug appeal", but i wont' change the kind hearted, nice, compaissionate , empathetic person i have become just to please them, so why do you ladies want thugs?
 mstone12
Joined: 7/22/2011
Msg: 2
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Do you really want a THUG?
Posted: 5/8/2016 11:06:45 AM
i don't get it either i know a guy who smells and doesn't wash and has a gf weird isn't it just goes to show how stupid some women are .
 irishgirl772
Joined: 6/3/2013
Msg: 3
Do you really want a THUG?
Posted: 5/8/2016 11:16:20 AM
What kind of girls are saying this? Young 20 something party girls that think thugs are fun and exciting? I cant imagine an intelligent woman your age wanting a thug. Maybe theyre really trying to say you could be more assertive and outgoing.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 4
Do you really want a THUG?
Posted: 5/8/2016 11:34:35 AM
Maybe they want a person with more of an attitude or an edge like the "bad boy" type. A real thug is a violent criminal.
 _Cinnamon__Girl_
Joined: 3/28/2016
Msg: 5
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Do you really want a THUG?
Posted: 5/8/2016 4:17:30 PM
Intelligent women who are going places in life do not want thugs.

Are you contacting this type of woman, or hot, party girls?
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 6
Do you really want a THUG?
Posted: 5/8/2016 5:44:15 PM
Hi OP,
Are you sure these forums are the right audience for this question? Most people here are white and over 40.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 7
Do you really want a THUG?
Posted: 5/8/2016 9:07:07 PM

Are you sure these forums are the right audience for this question? Most people here are white and over 40.


That would be implying it was mostly black or other non-white women that were telling him that. I have seen women from various races that were into the "wannabe ( not real ) thugs".
 mdbco32
Joined: 3/30/2016
Msg: 8
Do you really want a THUG?
Posted: 5/8/2016 10:02:52 PM

some women have called me soft


Keep your soft side and focus on delivering assertiveness. No man needs to be a thug, but being assertive is where the money is at. Assertiveness is coupled well with self-confidence, having goals that you reach, dedication, and motivation to keep that dedication going.
 FlamingHotCheetos3
Joined: 5/6/2016
Msg: 9
Do you really want a THUG?
Posted: 5/9/2016 9:55:45 PM

Hi OP,
Are you sure these forums are the right audience for this question? Most people here are white and over 40.


Haha. That's what I thought too. My fiance and ex-boyfriend are both Black and told me they've been rejected (by mostly Black women) for being "not hard enough", "corny", "having no swag", etc.

They were on some unrealistic, dumb shit like wanting 2pac with a Yale degree.

btw, those women are all in the 30s or older and still unsatisfactorily single.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 10
Do you really want a THUG?
Posted: 5/9/2016 10:45:51 PM

Keep your soft side and focus on delivering assertiveness. No man needs to be a thug, but being assertive is where the money is at. Assertiveness is coupled well with self-confidence, having goals that you reach, dedication, and motivation to keep that dedication going.

You're right on the money. It's about confidence and self-respect. That come, as you said, from goals that you set and reach, from having beliefs that you stick with etc., not from listening to motivational videos on youtube ONLY as some hope. :)
 lucidbarrier
Joined: 12/24/2006
Msg: 11
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Do you really want a THUG?
Posted: 5/9/2016 10:51:53 PM

Keep your soft side and focus on delivering assertiveness. No man needs to be a thug, but being assertive is where the money is at. Assertiveness is coupled well with self-confidence, having goals that you reach, dedication, and motivation to keep that dedication going.


Totally agree with this. It's just the way you treat them that may be what's killing your chances. Be more direct what you want and don't let them walk all over you (because you will end up in the friend zone). I'm not saying not to be nice, just saying that you need to let some sexual tension build there. Just hang in there and keep fishing.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 12
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Do you really want a THUG?
Posted: 5/10/2016 10:26:04 AM
Based on what my husband (and many other black men I dated in the past) has/have told me, the OP is asking a legitimate question.

As a geeky, introverted, academically (and athletically) inclined teenager, he was romantically unsuccessful in high school. This continued into his 20s and 30s, through college and grad school, where the only women interested in him were equally geeky (mostly white) women.

He's also just not giving off that player vibe, so in spite of his good looks and professional success, it doesn't happen very often that women hit on him.

I don't know what to tell you, OP. Cultivate the real you and try to find the women who are into that. You're probably never going to have that much mass appeal in your own culture. It might help to remember that you only need one, eventually (if you're looking for long-term).

Good luck!
 ginghamgal
Joined: 2/13/2016
Msg: 13
Do you really want a THUG?
Posted: 5/10/2016 10:43:38 AM
This probably has more to do with socioeconomic background than anything else. I know middle class black women that want nothing to do with so called 'thugs'.
 Dinno76
Joined: 2/11/2016
Msg: 14
Do you really want a THUG?
Posted: 5/10/2016 11:10:37 AM
Those are not the type of women you want in your life. They have too much drama in their lives and will only bring the drama to you. Not a good thing to have.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 15
Do you really want a THUG?
Posted: 5/10/2016 10:00:52 PM
BiggBailey- You have to look at it differently.
Instead of feeling perplexed or aggravated, be GLAD they outed themselves.
Let them go get their thug and rejoice, because you don't need twits like that in your life!
 Peter_Hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 16
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Do you really want a THUG?
Posted: 5/13/2016 3:37:15 PM

My fiance and ex-boyfriend are both Black and told me they've been rejected (by mostly Black women) for being "not hard enough", "corny", "having no swag", etc.


According to the media narrative, with the recent shootings, is that police and whites in general are presumptuous or prejudicial when it comes to black criminality. But according to what you saying, its a prevalent phenomenon for black men to aspire to criminality or the persona....... and people are in the wrong to perceive....acts like a duck ...quacks like a duck....

Has society become that retarded?
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 17
Do you really want a THUG?
Posted: 5/13/2016 3:42:05 PM
She will resist but keep being sexual? I'm afraid you can end up in handcuffs following this advice.
 Peter_Hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 18
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Do you really want a THUG?
Posted: 5/13/2016 3:51:15 PM

She will resist but keep being sexual? I'm afraid you can end up in handcuffs following this advice.


And the arresting police officer would be in the wrong for being....culturally insensitive...or some such nonsense lol.
 Unfinished_Chapter
Joined: 5/4/2016
Msg: 19
Do you really want a THUG?
Posted: 5/13/2016 4:26:46 PM

This is why YOU HAVE TO BE SEXUAL WITH WOMEN...on the first date, on the first meet.


LMAO....Really?


She will resist


The women I'd want to be involved with would....just sayin.. ;)
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 20
Do you really want a THUG?
Posted: 5/13/2016 4:31:22 PM
I don't think thug and horndog is the same thing though...
 mdbco32
Joined: 3/30/2016
Msg: 21
Do you really want a THUG?
Posted: 5/13/2016 5:48:47 PM

When a man is consistently angry that women f*ck ‘bad boys’ while ignoring ‘nice guys,’ he is announcing that he’s still a b*tch. He is letting other people control his emotions while refusing to take meaningful action.


I'm a nice guy with a deployment to Iraq. Would you like to rephrase or continue to look like an idiot without any actual testicles?
 mdbco32
Joined: 3/30/2016
Msg: 22
Do you really want a THUG?
Posted: 5/13/2016 6:32:52 PM

In unarmed 1 on 1 combat. I'd be pretty confident that I'd totally annihilate you and 90% of the people you were deployed with.


In unarmed combat, 100% of the 133 great people I deployed with would decimate you and every last one of your "homeboys" who learned to fight from an X-Box.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 23
Do you really want a THUG?
Posted: 5/13/2016 6:51:06 PM
plain455- I can't imagine the two of you will do anything but posture here online, but IF you two were to actually tie up you would be facing someone who was trained to kill you and do it quickly.
My bet goes to the combat veteran, sorry.
 mdbco32
Joined: 3/30/2016
Msg: 24
Do you really want a THUG?
Posted: 5/13/2016 6:56:31 PM

plain455- I can't imagine the two of you will do anything but posture here online, but IF you two were to actually tie up you would be facing someone who was trained to kill you and do it quickly.
My bet goes to the combat veteran, sorry.


He deleted his profile. Probably bogus with a bunch of googled images.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 25
Do you really want a THUG?
Posted: 5/13/2016 7:51:12 PM
mdbco32- Typical, he told on himself, didn't he?
I said veteran's get my respect and I wan't kidding.
My grandfather's bother died serving in World War 1 (Navy). My step father was a lifer (the Army). Several of my family members on my dad's side have served, some also died serving. (I have at least one family member who served, among them, they have represented every branch of the service and in every war)
You didn't ask me to step in and and I know you don't need me to but I can't help myself.
If anyone goes after a veteran, they are going to get on my bad side, every time.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Do you really want a THUG?