Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > The I-don't-need-someone-to-'care'-for-me profile      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 BeyondtheMatrix
Joined: 2/11/2016
Msg: 1
The I-don't-need-someone-to-'care'-for-me profilePage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Forgive me if I have placed this in the wrong thread or section, but I have been on PoF twice over the last 10 years for extended periods and have noticed a growing trend in women's profiles.

It isn't the angry, aggressive posturing that bothers me. It isn't even the increasing amount of tongues sticking out. No, not even the middle fingers sticking up all over the place, or the strange animal pictures and postures and positions, hanging from doors, etc., what disturbs me is this: "I don't need someone to 'care' for me. I can do that very well for myself, thank you."

These words, or an arrangement of similar words -- for example, "I don't need anyone to mind my back" (this one is becoming more common) -- interests me.

So, you are here on a dating site, looking for a date, hopefully leading to a marriage-type situation, as most of us are, you are looking for someone decent, loving, kind, honest, thoughtful, respectful to share your life with, but . . . you don't need anyone to care for you? What's that all about?

My parents, long dead, were devoted to each other. They 'cared' for and about each other's welfare and goodwill, always on the look-out for ways to enhance their individual lives and their life as a couple. But today's women, I realize not all of them, seem to have an entirely different agenda.

I wonder if the chickens of feminism are now coming home to roost and crapping all over our expectations of finding true and meaningful intimacy. I know, from reading all these profiles and looking at these foul, angry expressions, that women are not having much luck. The worldwide explosion of homosexuality, the phenomenon of Western men turning to Asian women, and of course the ever-sharp teeth of feminism, are making things difficult for women, as their profiles testify.

I wonder what others think of this situation. Would you want to be with a woman, or a man, seeking a long-term relationship, if that person made it clear that he or she did not need you to 'care' for them?

I wouldn't.

Thus, the search continues.

Best wishes -
Peter
 chinook1111
Joined: 4/1/2016
Msg: 2
The I-don't-need-someone-to-'care'-for-me profile
Posted: 5/10/2016 5:03:47 PM
Are you sure your search parameters are set correctly?
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 3
view profile
History
The I-don't-need-someone-to-'care'-for-me profile
Posted: 5/10/2016 5:51:12 PM
I don't know why I engaged in this, so never mind.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 4
The I-don't-need-someone-to-'care'-for-me profile
Posted: 5/10/2016 5:55:43 PM
for some people, it may be a backlash to decades of a woman needing a man...or at least a man acting like a woman can't live without him. like she's fragile. for others, it might be they don't know what "care" really is--they didn't see it at home, and so long as they have all the material things in their Malibu Barbie life, they think they've reached success. for still others, they've taken a more active role in their life--they make their own paycheck, make their own decisions, etc, so they don't have the "need" they saw their grandmothers have.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 5
The I-don't-need-someone-to-'care'-for-me profile
Posted: 5/10/2016 6:03:41 PM
if a woman emphasizes she doesn't need anyone (meaning a man) to take care of her, that would mean she has no problem paying her own way and going dutch on dates. I don't see a problem with that. Let her pay for her own coffee, drinks, and meals on dates.
 Nancybythebay
Joined: 4/5/2016
Msg: 11
The I-don't-need-someone-to-'care'-for-me profile
Posted: 5/10/2016 6:19:12 PM
Excellent post gtomustang.

I think that pretty much hits the nail on the head.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 12/2/2015
Msg: 12
The I-don't-need-someone-to-'care'-for-me profile
Posted: 5/10/2016 6:34:54 PM
Sigh....It seems there's just no pleasing some men.
We hear relentlessly on here, men are afraid of gold diggers or losing what they have left.
So, a woman says she can take care of herself becomes less desirable....sheesh.
 dreamon4u
Joined: 4/20/2016
Msg: 13
The I-don't-need-someone-to-'care'-for-me profile
Posted: 5/10/2016 6:47:35 PM
I think some men seek Asian women because they aren't even remotely man enough for western women.

There is no "explosion" of homosexuality, it's just that people can say out loud that they are gray without fear of being beat up, shot or hung.

I guess feminism finally trumped mysogony, who knew. It took a while, it was a long struggle for my mother, grandmother and sisters.

Some want June Clever or a Stepford wife. Well, it's 2016 and I. Sure even Nune Clever wouldn't put up with Ward's crap anymore.

If you want to find a true partner, be a true partner. Somehow I think the OP wants a subservient woman like dear old Dad had. The chickens have come home to roost alright and the rooster is t in charge of the henhouse anymore. The chicken want to truly share or they will keep ruining their own house like they have before,.

There is no going back now.
 Stellan77
Joined: 2/8/2016
Msg: 14
The I-don't-need-someone-to-'care'-for-me profile
Posted: 5/10/2016 7:47:01 PM

I think some men seek Asian women because they aren't even remotely man enough for western women.


It's not true that Asian women are any more submissive or less independent than western women.
 Nancybythebay
Joined: 4/5/2016
Msg: 15
The I-don't-need-someone-to-'care'-for-me profile
Posted: 5/10/2016 8:47:15 PM

I think some men seek Asian women because they aren't even remotely man enough for western women.


What do you mean?
 usernonymous
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 16
The I-don't-need-someone-to-'care'-for-me profile
Posted: 5/10/2016 9:48:10 PM
Dreamon4u: interesting on how sick and tired you are of men who portray an outdated image of women, with a stereotypical, outdated view of Asian women.

Let me tell you a little secret. Asian women are leading the career charge that most women would envy. They are the engineers, scientists and financiers in our economy and are outpacing most other women on a per capita basis.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 17
The I-don't-need-someone-to-'care'-for-me profile
Posted: 5/10/2016 10:02:03 PM
^ Not so sure of the usefulness of replacing one stereotype with another. Granted, stereotypes would work well, if only it weren't for the dang exceptions.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 18
The I-don't-need-someone-to-'care'-for-me profile
Posted: 5/10/2016 10:16:51 PM
Whisky River- (post #12) EXACTLY what I was thinking!
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 19
The I-don't-need-someone-to-'care'-for-me profile
Posted: 5/10/2016 10:35:03 PM
My first marriage was to a man who "took care of" me--meaning he paid the bills. And there it ended. He didn't have to talk to me, or do things with me, and I was as lonely as I've ever been. Don't want much to do that again, yikes.
 deetristate
Joined: 12/4/2014
Msg: 20
The I-don't-need-someone-to-'care'-for-me profile
Posted: 5/11/2016 3:20:52 AM
Because there are so many "men"

like Maleman (""" Let her pay for her own coffee, drinks, and meals on dates.""")

so they use it as a "come on" and many women prefer to have that than nothing?




If men like Asian women, fine.
To each his type.
I tend to like men that other women think are too short or a 3 out of 10 on the looks side.

For some Western men that I know, Asian woman are exotic but still acceptable to their families.
For others, that is just who they happened to meet and fell for. No Asian expedition there.

In every marriage that I know where Asian women marry Western men, the woman is in charge of the relationship.That 'demure" stereotype couldn't be more wrong.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 12/2/2015
Msg: 21
The I-don't-need-someone-to-'care'-for-me profile
Posted: 5/11/2016 6:28:16 AM
Before commenting, have a look at his profile. Another one of those self acclaimed "rebels" of everything, that is wrong in this world and people.(mostly women)
I quit after a few lines...I have to admit.
Couldn't picture myself with a man that thinks like that...such drama and unhappiness!
But ....you are getting "attention"...

Yes, any "smart" woman would not bother with a man with an attitude like yours.
You need to give up and leave women alone...imo.
Seek therapy!

Getting a sense of MGTOW and the red pill theory....lol.
 dreamon4u
Joined: 4/20/2016
Msg: 22
The I-don't-need-someone-to-'care'-for-me profile
Posted: 5/11/2016 10:48:20 AM
^^^ I have to agree, the OP's profile is a little .... out there. I don't think he will find such a woman unless he goes to a white supremacist gathering, sort of a gathering of the Klan. I sort of want to throw up a little after reading all of that tripe.
 Jo van
Joined: 5/23/2009
Msg: 23
The I-don't-need-someone-to-'care'-for-me profile
Posted: 5/11/2016 2:52:23 PM
Peter,

You're clearly not a stupid man, and yet do you say, and think, some very stupid things (IMO)
Take "race" for example.
By the time you go back just 500 years, we each have over a million direct ancestors. (2 to the power of 20 [generations])
What are the realistic chances of that one million, all being the same "race"?
-Negligible.
By the time you go back just 750 years, we each have over a billion.
At a thousand years, it's more than a trillion.
Apart from that being more humans than have ever existed, were the Romans, Angles, Saxons, Jutes, Normans, Vikings, Goths, Mongols, or the Moors, etc a different "race", or just variants of the same "race"?
Don't forget that the Roman Empire and societies were far-reaching, and cosmopolitan, and included the Middle East and North Africa.
People have always moved around, and splashed their pesky genes, wherever they went.
The traces of this undisputed history, is in your, and everyone else's genes.
There's no such thing as "race". Not now, and not ever before.
I'm sorry if that "offends" you.

Take the term "Caucasian";

The Caucasian race (also Caucasoid[1]) is a grouping of human beings historically regarded as a biological taxon, including some or all of the populations of Europe, North Africa, the Horn of Africa, Western Asia, Central Asia and South Asia.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caucasian_race
These are almost mediaeval beliefs. The term was first 'coined' in the 18th century, and is now widely discredited by science.
-But even if you accept it's ridiculous "definitions", above, you'll see that it encompasses almost half of the world.
Put down the books full of 'woo', and read some actual, proven science, and history.
It's much more interesting.


Next, your apparent aversion to "other cultures".
Isn't it YOU who have been "programmed by the matrix" here?

I mean, the culture you so love, was purely an accident of birth, and yet you behave as if it's the only "correct" choice.
Your complete certainty and vociferous, aggressive defence of the "culture" which you were given, is comparable to the Taliban, or ISIS.

You have accepted and embraced the culture ( /"matrix") which was presented to you, without questioning it.

The word "conservative" and the term "free-thinker", are mutually exclusive.
No-one chooses their place of birth, or the cultures in which they are raised, or their own (biological) parents.
Any "pride" in any of the above, is, IMO., entirely vicarious.

Rather laughably, many of the things which you probably consider to be the epitome of English/Scots "culture", come from other cultures.
Notably tea, from India and China.
And the ermmm... china, -in which, you drink it.
If you hate CHina, you should stop drinking tea, altogether.

And the "christmas" you defend; in it's current form, well, it was pretty much a German invention, helped by Coca Cola.
And "christianity"..?
See if you can guess where that little gem of "culture", first originated..?

It's also hilarious (IMO) that you choose the method of the internet to date,
and then, complain about "new technology".

You should really be writing your expectations with a quill-pen, and then nailing them to a tree!
- Except that the paper, - and the smelting technology, for the nails, and the hammer, came from the middle east! .

In short; If it wasn't for "other" cultures, well, then you'd have no culture at all!

Broaden your horizons, unplug yourself from the "reality" of the culture/matrix which you embrace.
Free your mind, Dude.
JMO
No "racists" were educated in the writing of this post.
(Terms and conditions apply)
 deetristate
Joined: 12/4/2014
Msg: 24
The I-don't-need-someone-to-'care'-for-me profile
Posted: 5/11/2016 4:00:05 PM
Jovan:

Correct. We are all of the human race.
I personally have found that class (middle, upper, lower)is more important in determining a good match.
However
There are clear racial variations, distinct variations, which cannot be ignored because it seems nice or PC.
Race does not define the culture of an individual. See Iggy Azalea, Justin Timberlake.
However, race does exist.
The movement to "race does not matter and doesn't exist" as an anthem seems to have begun to appear and become used more often as certain people became the minority.
Like there are only certain crimes where people will say "race doesn't matter."
You know what I mean,


You obviously prefer to live in a Western culture. Otherwise, you would move to Afghanistan, Lucknow or Bejing.

How does a culture remain? What maintains a culture?

The culture of Iraq changed, when the USA destroyed it, from one that allowed women freedom of movement, education and position to being overtaken by those of a different culture, some Iraqi, some not, who placed another culture in place.

That is just one of many examples.

Quiet lawned neighborhoods in LA became noisy,barrios.

What brought that about?

(Looking for a discussion here, not an exchange of cutesy remarks.)

As the mixing becomes standard and happens more often, we may just become one race without distinction. Often you won;t be able to tell ( for example, who would have known that

Shailene Woodley,
Troian Bellisatio,
Carole Channing,
Pete Wentz,
Rashida Jones
Gabrielle Reece
and that Flashdance girl

had black ancestry ( See OJ, it doesn't just go one way. LOL!) .

Until that happens universally, however. . . .
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 25
The I-don't-need-someone-to-'care'-for-me profile
Posted: 5/11/2016 4:51:11 PM

(Looking for a discussion here, not an exchange of cutesy remarks.)


I'm out.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 26
The I-don't-need-someone-to-'care'-for-me profile
Posted: 5/11/2016 5:07:34 PM
Whisky River- I just read his profile. :0
I got to the part where he says he's not self obsessed and stopped there. I was busy laughing. :D :D
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 27
The I-don't-need-someone-to-'care'-for-me profile
Posted: 5/11/2016 5:33:28 PM
Okay, I lied. I got sucked in and read the gentleman's profile. There is nothing funny about his predicament. A difficult situation, to be sure, but there is a solution:

Peter, you're going to have to create the woman that fits your specifications. By this, I mean you will have to raise her from birth, isolating her from outside influences. The legalities will be tricky, to be sure, but remember that laws were designed specifically to suppress you.
 chinook1111
Joined: 4/1/2016
Msg: 28
The I-don't-need-someone-to-'care'-for-me profile
Posted: 5/11/2016 8:27:23 PM
Matrix,get rid of that long rant in your profile.I think most women are going to feel a headache coming on reading that.
 dreamon4u
Joined: 4/20/2016
Msg: 29
The I-don't-need-someone-to-'care'-for-me profile
Posted: 5/11/2016 8:40:18 PM

No "racists" we're educated in the writing of this post .


Best line I've read in this thread. And I think Jo Van and Deetristate both had good comments, I agree with both.

I think parts of Europe, US, Canada and maybe Australia will be well blended soon. The Asian counties and Africa will take a little while longer, maybe even South America too. But us, we will all be tan or beige soon. A blend of cultures. It's "culture" that is interesting and what make us interesting.
 Nancybythebay
Joined: 4/5/2016
Msg: 30
The I-don't-need-someone-to-'care'-for-me profile
Posted: 5/11/2016 9:06:49 PM

what disturbs me is this: "I don't need someone to 'care' for me. I can do that very well for myself, thank you.".........................

So, you are here on a dating site, looking for a date, hopefully leading to a marriage-type situation, as most of us are, you are looking for someone decent, loving, kind, honest, thoughtful, respectful to share your life with, but . . . you don't need anyone to care for you? What's that all about?


OP, you may need to consider the context. Caring has different meanings:

* To look after and supervise; be the dominant one. (like caring for someone's child or a pet.)
* To show love and affection with empathy.

My guess, (and I might be looking way too much into this,) is that the ladies who have such on their profile may...just MAY have been hurt or oppressed in the past. They don't want to be ruled over ever again; they are independent and actually have a voice. They don't want a Sugar Daddy. etc etc etc.

Food for thought.
Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > The I-don't-need-someone-to-'care'-for-me profile