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 NYCKOSI
Joined: 4/24/2015
Msg: 1
No DinnerPage 1 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
When I first started online dating many times we would meet at a restaurant and have dinner. Then I learned the meaning of a dinner wh*re. So I would say it straight out, I do not do dinners on the first date.. How could anyone sit with a totally stranger and have dinner that you most likely never see again? I did had some strange experience with a woman that did not like tomatoes in her salad. She was tossing the tomatoes out of her plate and all over the table. I lost my appetite. that was the last time I ever did a first date dinner date. I will ask to meet the person either at a park, coffee shop, book store or some small even that might be taking place near by.
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 2
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No Dinner
Posted: 5/27/2016 6:16:31 PM
Yep. Coffee or a glass of wine for a first meet.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 3
No Dinner for you
Posted: 5/27/2016 6:32:56 PM
its true, simpler is better for the first time. A good dinner can distract from poor company, but then you can't get away until the bill.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 4
No Dinner for you
Posted: 5/27/2016 7:30:17 PM
Although it's not my first choice, I'm not completely opposed to having dinner on a first date / meeting. However it would be at a casual restaurant where we could finish a meal within 45-60 minutes. Depending on where you go and what you order, it may not be much more expensive than each person having a couple of drinks at a bar. If the date was really bad, I could put my food in a doggy bag.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 5
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No Dinner
Posted: 5/27/2016 7:40:40 PM
It took you a while to wise up about the dinners. If a gal wont meet for just a drink initially then you move on. Why do strangers think they are entitled to be bought a meal just because they are female? Not all do, of course. How many of those women actually offered to pay their share? I know many men do the gentlemanly thing and pick up the tab but surely only like to do that if the meal was pleasant and they felt it was going somewhere.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 6
No Dinner
Posted: 5/27/2016 7:58:51 PM
Dinner whore is harsh.

I accept the risk of rejection after I've paid the bill.

Then again, I do things in reverse.

Full court press in the beginning.

If that's not enough, nothing will be later. Of course, sustaining that strategy is a whole other issue...

YMMV
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 7
No Dinner
Posted: 5/27/2016 8:00:46 PM
When I used to meet people off here, if the guy was coming from a couple hours away to meet, I always offered to buy him dinner. It only seemed polite. The couple times I drove out of town to meet someone, he did the same. Maybe it's a Canadian thing?

Plus, you gotta eat, anyway. And I always find it nice to have someone to converse with when I'm eating.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 8
No Dinner for you
Posted: 5/27/2016 8:02:02 PM

Depending on where you go and what you order, it may not be much more expensive than each person having a couple of drinks at a bar.


Dinner at Costco would be less, even.
 NYCKOSI
Joined: 4/24/2015
Msg: 9
No Dinner
Posted: 5/27/2016 8:21:55 PM
Yes it did took me after few dates. However that was couple of times that the bill was split.
 NYCKOSI
Joined: 4/24/2015
Msg: 10
No Dinner
Posted: 5/27/2016 8:26:34 PM
Whatsamattababy in that case I would agree if the person has to drive couple oh hours. Is the right thing to do. Since I live in a big city, we don't hve to travel that far to meet each other. Than again, would you want a relationship with someone that lives 2 hours away. I even think an hour might me too far.
 Perspektiv
Joined: 4/24/2016
Msg: 11
No Dinner
Posted: 5/27/2016 8:46:03 PM
First dates should be more of a meet and greet. I don't see the issue with having dinner with a person, when that is considered.

If you're trying too hard to impress with the dinner, to me that is more the issue than anything.

Some of the better dates I've had, were dinner dates.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 12
No Dinner
Posted: 5/27/2016 11:32:07 PM

Than again, would you want a relationship with someone that lives 2 hours away

Me, personally? Yup!

Now, I have a question for you: How do you determine that someone is a "dinner whore"? Is it if you buy her dinner, and she doesn't want to get together again? If so, how do you know she just didn't feel like the two of you jived?
 ginghamgal
Joined: 2/13/2016
Msg: 13
No Dinner
Posted: 5/28/2016 8:14:28 AM

Some of the better dates I've had, were dinner dates.


Same here. Like another poster said, go to a cheaper restaurant. Have dinner at McDonald's. LOL.
 Kay9876
Joined: 7/4/2012
Msg: 14
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No Dinner
Posted: 5/28/2016 8:25:21 AM

Msg. 6: Dinner whore is harsh. I accept the risk of rejection after I've paid the bill. Then again, I do things in reverse. Full court press in the beginning. If that's not enough, nothing will be later.

I agree that calling someone a dinner whore because she politely shared a meal that was offered to her is harsh. On the other hand, it seems your methodology is backwards for many women. For example, I’d want a man to spend less at first because he doesn’t know me and spend more later (once in a while) because he is crazy about me. Note that I'm seeking "later," as in a long-term relationship.

Msg. 11: If you're trying too hard to impress with the dinner, to me that is more the issue than anything.

I agree. Trying to impress a woman you've just met by spending money on her hurts on both sides. The person who pays can feel like a wallet, and the person who doesn't pay might think the other felt a need to buy affection.

As a woman, I love it when men whom I've known for a while want to do something special for me. It feels good for both of us because there is affection behind the show of kindness and/or generosity.

Having said that, on a first meet, men are more attractive (to me) if we go somewhere that has a pleasant environment and a low cost. The pleasant environment excludes McDonald's, but it doesn't exclude parks, free museums, or inexpensive, comfortable restaurants and bars. This kind of first meet has an advantage of giving men a chance to display creativity and range in dating. And we’re both comfortable.

Women want to believe that men think well of themselves and have no need or interest in “buying” women. For men who are seeking a long-term relationship, expensive first dates usually aren't the best path to take.
 Blonde_Fishie
Joined: 5/13/2016
Msg: 15
No Dinner
Posted: 5/28/2016 9:04:41 AM
Coffee or some inexpensive beverage is a good way to handle a meet IMO.

The women w/ the dinner spread sheets are as abominable as men who want to court a women yet expect her to go Dutch 100% of the time.

Either extreme seems user-y to me. Highly manipulative.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 16
No Dinner
Posted: 5/28/2016 9:09:04 AM
This is all funny.

I remember the shocked look on a gal's face when our first date was a lavish dinner on a lake at sunset. I didn't have a lot of dating experience at the time and threw caution to the wind.

I had flowers delivered to the table and wore a blazer.

Judging by the look on her face, I think she was expecting a marriage proposal.

I dunno.

Drinks on a first meet/date sounds reasonable, but then again, I've usually gotten a 2nd date and wonder if I should have just started with dinner on the 1st and skipped to the 3rd date next??

Hahahhahahahaha



For example, I’d want a man to spend less at first because he doesn’t know me and spend more later (once in a while) because he is crazy about me.


I get that too. Sometimes if lots of messaging and phone calls have occurred beforehand, I'll go ahead and risk a dinner early on.

Just depends on our...connection....
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 17
No Dinner
Posted: 5/28/2016 9:38:17 AM

Have dinner at McDonald's. LOL.


I realize this poster was probably joking. I wouldn't suggest going to McDonald's on a first date / meeting. But I don't think McDonald's is much different or worse than the coffee date at Starbucks. It's just that Starbucks is the more trendy place to go to.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 18
No Dinner
Posted: 5/28/2016 9:52:31 AM
^^^Actually-at least at the McDonald's around my area-they serve a lot of specialty coffees to rival Starbucks. So if someone is into coffee with flavors that are hard to pronounce, they can get that at McDonald's. But I wouldn't suggest it for a first meet either, since nobody wants to say they met someone at McDonald's.
 QuirkyTeacher
Joined: 12/24/2013
Msg: 19
No Dinner
Posted: 5/28/2016 10:27:26 AM
If a guy asks to meet up for coffee or drinks, that'd be great. It doesn't have to be this huge production just to meet up. However, if he told me the reason he was asking for that sort of date vs. dinner was because he's tired of dinner wh*res, I'd no longer be interested.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 12/2/2015
Msg: 20
No Dinner
Posted: 5/28/2016 11:25:32 AM
Dinner whore....omg.
I don't know anyone that is that "hungry" that they troll dating sites to suck men in for a meal....
But according to some men....they are out there....poor starving women.
Talk about being "hungry"......
Now, I don't know about most of y'all but I meet with someone I find interesting and it takes
me far too long these days... to primp and shave/dress for a night out and look forward to getting to know someone and see if they're
all what they think they are.
Trust me,.....I can cook for myself and sit in my pj's....I go out because I like the company not the food....sheesh.
 Blonde_Fishie
Joined: 5/13/2016
Msg: 21
No Dinner
Posted: 5/28/2016 11:46:19 AM
People (no gender referenced) who USE each other are not very nice.

With that being said (not directed at Op, I think he is a nice man)

here it comes for the ump-teenth time....

the handful of men out there who do want a wh0re...look up the cost of a round trip flight to Parumph , Nevada, where prostitution is legal. Then look up The Bunny Ranch & The Chicken Ranch & view the prices on their "menu"!
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 22
No Dinner
Posted: 5/28/2016 4:06:57 PM

Dinner whore....omg.
I don't know anyone that is that "hungry" that they troll dating sites to suck men in for a meal....
But according to some men....they are out there....poor starving women.


This article is about women admitting that they used men for free dinners. Of course, this doesn't apply to all or most women. But it does happen.

http://jezebel.com/5863621/woman-lets-matchcom-dates-pay-for-all-of-her-dinners
 Blonde_Fishie
Joined: 5/13/2016
Msg: 23
No Dinner
Posted: 5/28/2016 4:32:17 PM
This article is about men admitting that they used women for sex. Of course, this doesn't apply to all or most men. But it does happen

https://www.buzzfeed.com/alexchoi/14-players-admit-why-they-use-women-for-sex?utm_term=.tgXb00oKJq#.mma5BB0gRE

Both genders are equally capable of using people.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 24
No Dinner
Posted: 5/28/2016 4:44:53 PM
Every gal that has bought me dinner never gets turned down afterwards.

Double standards suck :(
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 25
No Dinner
Posted: 5/28/2016 4:48:10 PM
^ It's not a double standard; it's just a different choice of profession ;)
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