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 craftyDIYchick
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 1
Long distance relationshipsPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I have no idea where to post this. Since I am over 45, I've chosen to post it here.

Is there any place on POF for ppl who are interested in making a connection with someone in a different country?
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 2
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Long distance relationships
Posted: 5/29/2016 1:15:45 PM
It's best to create a profile on a dating site of the country you are interested in.

If you insist on using POF, I think you can change the country of origin so you see results in say Germany, though I am not sure how hard it is to do that.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 3
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Long distance relationships
Posted: 5/29/2016 4:53:58 PM

Is there any place on POF for ppl who are interested in making a connection with someone in a different country?

Place? The forums for making conversation. And inside POF itself is the only place -- and that's fine for conversation, too. But to make a Pen Pal connection? No. LDRs don't work. Waste of time for a vast vast majority, and not merely out of a taste issue.

But I can see one wanting to chit-chat and hey, when single, a place to travel to on vacation maybe sometime in the future. That's not a waste of time. But to create a virtual relationship... ya won't find it much. I'd suggest a site purely dedicated to that.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 4
Long distance relationships
Posted: 5/30/2016 8:18:56 AM
I've got to ask the obvious question: What is the reason you're looking for someone in a different country? Don't you have family where you are now? Does it have anything to do with the possibility of Trump becoming president? If Trump becomes president and decides to play with his new toys and start a nuclear war, I don't think any place would be safe from the fallout-no matter what country you're in.
 craftyDIYchick
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 5
Long distance relationships
Posted: 5/30/2016 5:39:55 PM
No..has nothing to do with Trump. Yes I have family here.
I am just interested in the British. That's all.
 ebolakitty
Joined: 3/19/2016
Msg: 6
Long distance relationships
Posted: 5/30/2016 7:13:28 PM
You can search any place. I don't think you can make yourself show up in matches for another country but you can certainly email UK men that interest you. I like to search Kitchner, Ontario because I used to live there and am not against going back for a good enough reason. Contact a few men in Greater London and see what happens.
 SrqDJ
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 7
Long distance relationships
Posted: 5/30/2016 7:42:46 PM
All you have to do is change your location and zip code or postal code. It will allow you to search and also to show up in searches for that area. In the past when I was living between 2 states, I would just go into my profile and edit the information.
 LLove2LaughToo
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 8
Long distance relationships
Posted: 5/30/2016 8:43:25 PM

Msg: 7
All you have to do is change your location and zip code or postal code. It will allow you to search and also to show up in searches for that area.


Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner! Give this woman a prize!
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 9
Long distance relationships
Posted: 5/31/2016 7:21:32 AM
"All you have to do is change your location and zip code or postal code."

If you're referring to changing the parameters for her current location, wouldn't that be deceiving if she makes up a new location in another country that she's hoping to move to? If someone contacts her and wants to meet up for a drink, thinking she lives in the area, then what? Is she going to say "By the way-I don't live in the same country as you. I lied about what country I live in." Not exactly a little white lie.
 SrqDJ
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 10
Long distance relationships
Posted: 5/31/2016 7:29:24 AM

"All you have to do is change your location and zip code or postal code."

If you're referring to changing the parameters for her current location, wouldn't that be deceiving if she makes up a new location in another country that she's hoping to move to? If someone contacts her and wants to meet up for a drink, thinking she lives in the area, then what? Is she going to say "By the way-I don't live in the same country as you. I lied about what country I live in." Not exactly a little white lie.


Well, I was going to mention that also; but I didn't want to assume she is so "dumb" that she couldn't figure that part out on her own. I didn't think it was necessary for me to tell her to edit her profile to reflect what her situation was; but of course she should so as not to be deceiving. You happy now? :eye roll
 Whisky_River
Joined: 12/2/2015
Msg: 11
Long distance relationships
Posted: 5/31/2016 7:33:00 AM
She doesn't need to change anything on her profile...as far as I know.
Why can't she just go to advanced search and put in her preferences and country?
Wouldn't that work? If she just wants to check out men in England and not deceive she lives where she lives?
I'm going to try it....brb.

Yuppers....Go to advanced search put in any city in Britian....I used Manchester and voila!
 LLove2LaughToo
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 12
Long distance relationships
Posted: 6/1/2016 6:56:23 AM

Msg: 9
If you're referring to changing the parameters for her current location, wouldn't that be deceiving if she makes up a new location in another country that she's hoping to move to? If someone contacts her and wants to meet up for a drink, thinking she lives in the area, then what? Is she going to say "By the way-I don't live in the same country as you. I lied about what country I live in." Not exactly a little white lie.


When I was single, I used to change my location on a regular basis to give my profile a wider audience. I added “currently lives in Philadelphia” in the very first line of my profile so there was no confusion or ambiguity. No one has ever accused me of lying, and it allowed me to meet people while traveling to different cities.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 13
Long distance relationships
Posted: 6/1/2016 8:43:48 AM
It sounds like a mail order bride situation, except in this case, it's a male order groom situation. How would you get to really know someone who is thousands of miles away? A texting/e-mailing/cyber relationship builds up too many fantasies about the person that are easily shattered once the two people get together in real life. You could easily end up being in a LDR with someone who is married or in another relationship already.
 craftyDIYchick
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 14
Long distance relationships
Posted: 8/16/2016 2:19:06 PM
In response to the various replies to my post:
I have searched profiles in the U.K.
Also I have found pen-pal sites.
There are dating sites such as, DateBritishGuys,,,,etc.
I do prefer free dating sites, which is why I use POF.
I know there are scammers here, they're everywhere these days.
And yes, communicating with someone long distance can be deceptive.
I do have good sense and generally know when someone is BS'ing me. In real life as well.
I am well experienced, thanks to people I've known or are related to.
But there can be happy endings also. I've read forums like UK Yankee and America Expat forums.
I read the struggles of the LDR, the visiting, the visa's, relocating, etc.
I wouldn't go into it blindly or with fairy tale hopes.
Nor would I change my location to appear as tho I am in another country.
I appreciate everyone's input!
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 15
Long distance relationships
Posted: 8/17/2016 8:07:49 AM
Why would you want to make dating and a relationship more difficult than they already are?
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 16
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Long distance relationships
Posted: 8/17/2016 9:04:22 AM
OP, I think if you want to have a relationship with a British man, you should be willing to move to England, while I read you want to live in the USA. Which doesn't seem equitable of you.

My point of view is there isn't that much difference between England and the USA to really make a large difference, but your preference is your preference.

Why not talk to British men living in the USA? There are sites for British Expats living in the USA.
http://britishexpats.com/forum/usa-57/


And yes, communicating with someone long distance can be deceptive.
I do have good sense and generally know when someone is BS'ing me. In real life as well.
I am well experienced, thanks to people I've known or are related to.
But there can be happy endings also. I've read forums like UK Yankee and America Expat forums.
I read the struggles of the LDR, the visiting, the visa's, relocating, etc.
I wouldn't go into it blindly or with fairy tale hopes.
Nor would I change my location to appear as tho I am in another country.
I appreciate everyone's input!


I had a long distance relationship with someone that lived on the other side of the world that took more than 17 hours of air flight just to have a date.

We got married in Thailand, I applied for Visas, she immigrated to the USA, we are happily living together now. But I was also willing to move to Thailand.

It's more difficult, but not all that difficult, the travel and paperwork is more tedious than difficult, though it's much more expensive.

There was also a poster called forumfilly? who met an Australian man, he immigrated to the USA after they were married.

The communications aspects were more in depth and more real that typical communications with someone local. They need to be that way since you don't see each other for months at a time.

Video, communicating at differing times and actually traveling to meet the other person tends to eliminate scams, and scams always involved money going towards the scammer, just don't send money, bank account info, etc, it's easy to avoid that part.

One reason I suggested joining a British based dating site was that you avoid men looking only for long distance relationships and avoid more scams, but you have to be willing to relocate even if in the end it makes more sense for other person to relocate.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 17
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Long distance relationships
Posted: 8/17/2016 11:27:37 AM

And yes, communicating with someone long distance can be deceptive.

It's not just that. LDRs, for all practical purposes, don't work.

But there can be happy endings also. I've read forums like UK Yankee and America Expat forums.

Yes, there can be happy endings meeting someone out back behind a rest stop off the high way. In anything from the common to the uber-ridiculous, thru rumor mills or the internet, you'll always be able to find a place that attracts stories like that, providing them to you to make it seem realistic. I'm not saying for hobby Side-fun pen-paling someone out there, etc. I'm saying it'd be foolish to have any actual dating expectations now or in the future with it, is all.

When playing with the concept on a hobby level, although harmless (with like a 0.1% chance of true Relationship ever forming) -- getting Involved with it with the facade of being in a relationship when on the other side of the screen for months, will also block you from Real opportunities. But if you always keep it on the fun hobby-level unless/until you were to actually meet someone Multiple times -- all while not letting it get in the way of real opportunities out there... yeah, have fun with it! :)
 flaneur001
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 18
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Long distance relationships
Posted: 8/17/2016 12:28:21 PM
norwegianguy456
LDRs, for all practical purposes, don't work.


It worked for me. I met my partner through OK C. He lives in San Francisco and I live in Toronto. We've been together for over 4 years.

Who knows if Trump get it he might move to Toronto!
 craftyDIYchick
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 19
Long distance relationships
Posted: 8/17/2016 1:33:31 PM
I would love to relocate to the UK. My adult kids, however, big issue for them.
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 20
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Long distance relationships
Posted: 8/17/2016 2:57:42 PM

I would love to relocate to the UK. My adult kids, however, big issue for them.


That's called a major rub.

I could move to an island instantly and would love to, but there's no way on God's earth that I'd move away from my adult son. I understand that we gotta do that which we gotta do, but if your children feel "if mom moves away it would be crushing", I'd need to satisfy myself that such a move is absolutely essential to my well being.

You probably already know that.
 diaboloacetin
Joined: 12/20/2014
Msg: 21
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Long distance relationships
Posted: 8/18/2016 4:44:00 PM
Crafty, your kids, they're adults, they should be able to handle it. Heck, it may even be fun for them to come visit you!

I say go for it, with the usual caveats, as already mentioned. I don't know if I'm allowed to mention another free dating place that caters more to long distance relationships, but there are others. Just be careful of those who are looking for their marriage green card. There are a lot of those.
 zonavar68
Joined: 8/16/2015
Msg: 22
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Long distance relationships
Posted: 8/18/2016 11:38:09 PM
It's hard enough to introduce yourself to people who live close (comparitively - talking less than 100 miles or 160 km) to each other or closer and manage to interest them enough to want to meet. I once did try a LDR with a woman in Canada (I'm in Australia btw), and I did actually go to Canada because I wanted to travel overseas for the first time in my life, so we met, spent a few weeks together. really awesome but was super difficult to maintain and fizzled out of it's own accord. That was 20 yrs ago. It was sort of my first real 'relationship' thing as I'd had a trainwreck of a time with the whole girlfriend/relationship thing in my early 20's before that happened.

The lady in Canada wasn't a scammer - it was just too hard because we both had established lives and jobs to work out a way to make it possible to go further with it.

LDR's even within your own country where there are big distances which can't involve a simple (we live 100 km either side of x, lets meet up at x) arrangment to get together rarely go anywhere. Distance (and in my case, irregular shiftwork for the last 30 yrs) wrecks the whole social spectrum. ;-)
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 23
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Long distance relationships
Posted: 8/19/2016 8:40:41 AM

It worked for me. I met my partner through OK C. He lives in San Francisco and I live in Toronto. We've been together for over 4 years.

Oh, I never said it was impossible. I'm just saying don't double-down on it, and don't go for them with expectations. I can say that speeding solidly over the speed limit in-between two lanes, past a cop doesn't work, and I'm sure someone will say "Actually, I did that one time and didn't get pulled over." Doesn't mean it's worth doing. :)
 flaneur001
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 24
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Long distance relationships
Posted: 8/19/2016 12:07:55 PM
norweigianguy:
Oh, I never said it was impossible.

yes you did!

It's not just that. LDRs, for all practical purposes, don't work



I'm just saying don't double-down on it, and don't go for them with expectations.


why? I'm free to make my own decisions about my boundaries, finances and time.



I can say that speeding solidly over the speed limit in-between two lanes, past a cop doesn't work, and I'm sure someone will say "Actually, I did that one time and didn't get pulled over." Doesn't mean it's worth doing. :)



Where do you come up with this stuff?
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 25
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Long distance relationships
Posted: 8/19/2016 2:03:43 PM
It worked for me, too.

I had a LONG list of requirements. To meet a good match along those lines was far more important to me than the man's physical proximity. On the other hand, I did not have the expectation that things had to progress quickly, nor did I necessarily want to get married or even cohabit. These were just things that developed over time. I'm an introvert and love my own company. I don't get lonely, and don't need constant company. I had enough friends, and my life was fulfilled as it was. So, for me, long distance was not a problem.
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