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 jonnyhastbi
Joined: 11/9/2014
Msg: 1
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much older girlfriendPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I am very happy to have a much older girlfriend. The age difference bothers her. I am very happy with her but realize its a socially unaceptable relationship. Seems that people would be happier if I was in an unhappy traditional relationship.
 jonnyhastbi
Joined: 11/9/2014
Msg: 2
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much older girlfriend
Posted: 7/13/2016 2:20:00 PM
My life is limited by injured brain, so I often question my own judgement. But I am very happy with much older girlfriend. I just argue with people who criticize my relationship.
 c0mplex1
Joined: 12/18/2015
Msg: 3
much older girlfriend
Posted: 7/13/2016 2:52:21 PM
I read your profile, where you say you’re more comfortable with the elderly. So I’m a little confused -if you’re happy with your older girlfriend, why do you have a profile on a dating site that says you’re “single”?
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 5
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much older girlfriend
Posted: 7/13/2016 3:52:51 PM
What "people" ?? Is your preacher cursing you out? Your Mom? Your Boss, did he threaten to fire you unless you found a younger girlfriend?

Do "people" at the mall and restaurant come up and slap your face? Do they spit on you?

Have your received a supoena to appear in court to explain to a judge what's going on? Have you been UNFRIENDED on all your social media?

Do you have a question?
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 6
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much older girlfriend
Posted: 7/13/2016 5:20:54 PM
How much older is she? I am in a liaison with a guy 15 years younger and was glad when he went grey lol!
However we are both well and truly middle aged. If you have to tolerate disapproval and criticism from your family and friends, that can be hard but everyone else? They can get lost!! If she is old enough to be your mother that can creep some people out as it is seen as not very healthy perhaps but if you are happy, that is all that matters. I think it is worse when men buy the Asian bride half their age and then proceed to become fathers at grandfather age.
 jonnyhastbi
Joined: 11/9/2014
Msg: 7
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much older girlfriend
Posted: 7/13/2016 6:34:35 PM
Fixed my status, to not single-not looking
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 8
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much older girlfriend
Posted: 7/13/2016 8:50:20 PM
Did you meet her at the nursing home where you volunteer?
 ndm147
Joined: 8/1/2013
Msg: 9
much older girlfriend
Posted: 7/13/2016 9:10:03 PM
You said you have a brain injury and now volunteer in a nursing home, and the woman you like is much older but not sure about the age difference. Did you meet her in the nursing home?


I will give you some legal advice: There are lawyers that specialize in elder law. Not just law for elders who are incapacitated and in a nursing home or suffering from dementia, but for people wanting to protect their assets as they age. It is a very specific kind of law practice.

You and this woman need to meet with your family and her family with a lawyer and soon. You have already gotten into shades of grey with this older woman As you consider her your "much older girlfriend" it sounds incredibly murky and unstable.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 10
much softer hands
Posted: 7/14/2016 4:36:36 AM
I'd be happier then a pig in sh!t if a younger female took care of me when I'm in one of those facilities.

God bless her soul.

I hope she knows how to use them soft hands to make fire.

I'd dim the lights and start crooning away...


At last my love has come along
My lonely days are over and life is like a song...


I hope you're bringin' her flowers and chocolates!
 hearton64
Joined: 6/9/2016
Msg: 11
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much softer hands
Posted: 7/14/2016 5:08:10 AM
Who cares who judges you as long as you're happy!
 AgentNinety9
Joined: 6/9/2016
Msg: 12
much older girlfriend
Posted: 7/14/2016 5:42:27 AM
If the age difference bothers her, I guess that's one of life's little inconveniences. It can't bother her *that much. I'd be more inclined to inquire about the details if you posted that you're very happy to have a much younger girlfriend.


I just argue with people who criticize my relationship.

Maybe they know more about what's going on than we do and feel like they're in a position to argue.

 dameunbaso
Joined: 10/4/2011
Msg: 13
much older girlfriend
Posted: 7/14/2016 6:47:40 AM
What do you mean by much older?

Ten, twenty, thirty years older?

If you two are happy, who gives a rats ass. The one reality you have to take into consideration is what happens when one or the other may require special care. Can you handle that? Can she handle that? Ask each other that question. If you don't have a problem with it. Go for it.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 14
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much older girlfriend
Posted: 7/14/2016 6:50:11 AM
How much older and where did you meet her and is she ambulatory?

Without knowing these types of details, any comments are mere speculation. Though assuming facts not in evidence is the norm for a forum, it only makes for entertainment and it's not applicable to be used as advice.

Most people are tradition bound so I don't tend to weigh heavily any comments based on an emotional response without any logical reasons, those are amusing but that's all they are.

(You could be in a happy traditional relationship and everyone would be happy happy, the choice isn't between happy non traditional relationship and unhappy traditional relationship.)
 jonnyhastbi
Joined: 11/9/2014
Msg: 15
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much older girlfriend
Posted: 7/14/2016 6:56:10 AM
30 years is the difference
 hearton64
Joined: 6/9/2016
Msg: 16
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much older girlfriend
Posted: 7/14/2016 7:55:04 AM
I still say it's no ones business but your own
and to end the argument that's all you should have
to say. If they don't like it maybe it's them you should
End it with.
 reintree
Joined: 7/9/2016
Msg: 17
much older girlfriend
Posted: 7/14/2016 10:03:54 AM
I think anyone over the age of majority can pretty much select who they want as a mate. 30 year difference? No, not for me, I can't imagine dating and having sex with someone 10 years older than my father. But that's just me.

I'm thinking that maybe some people are trying to look out after your best interest seeing that you mentioned you have a brain injury. I don't know the extent of your injury, but maybe, just maybe, a few of your friends may be just looking out for you. Don't cut people out of your life unless you know their true intent. JMO

I hope you are happy OP.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 18
much older girlfriend
Posted: 7/14/2016 11:01:40 AM

30 years is the difference


OK, 'fess up.

How many times have you seen "Harold and Maude"?
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 19
much older girlfriend
Posted: 7/14/2016 1:34:53 PM
Lol, there's a 70 year old Match that keeps writing me.

I'm sure she was beauty back in the day.

I love her optimism but I'm keeping it on pen pal terms :)
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 20
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much older girlfriend
Posted: 7/14/2016 10:41:18 PM
so she is 72 and in a nursing home??? I am confused. However 72 these days is not so old, depends on the health. I can understand a relationship with a much older woman who may understand you, give counsel and wisdom but as for a sexual relationship... that is a whole other ballgame but it is your life. If you dont have a family already then obviously you dont want a conventional family life.
I dont know if you actually go on dates and socialise with family and friends and that is where you meet the disapproval???? .

I wouldn't argue with anyone about your situation, that just weakens your position and makes you defensive.
 AgentNinety9
Joined: 6/9/2016
Msg: 21
much older girlfriend
Posted: 7/15/2016 4:39:58 AM

30 years is the difference

But no answer as to whether she's ambulatory, or how you met her? Interesting.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 22
much older girlfriend
Posted: 7/15/2016 6:55:36 AM

30 years is the difference


I had sex with a woman that about 20-25 years older than me. Certainly wouldn't be interested in a serious relationship when the age difference that is large though. To each their own.
 jonnyhastbi
Joined: 11/9/2014
Msg: 23
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much older girlfriend
Posted: 7/15/2016 2:32:08 PM
My girlfriend volunteers at nursing home and is more able bodied than me.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 24
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much older girlfriend
Posted: 7/15/2016 5:09:19 PM

Fixed my status, to not single-not looking

Actually you didn't. It still says Single.

30 years is the difference

So she's 72, and you're 42 and work in a nursing home. Okay. I would say as long as she volunteers there too and is active & able-bodied -- there's nothing wrong with it. However, due to the age difference with her being active, sharp, able-bodied, etc -- I would say don't expect it to be a serious LTR. In dating, "you take what the defense gives you," as far as what is the upper echelon of what you can feasibly get. If that's in the upper echelon of what you can feasibly get, given your limitations due to your injury and where you've stood in the dating scene over the years -- it's A-OKAY.

I had sex with a woman that about 20-25 years older than me. Certainly wouldn't be interested in a serious relationship when the age difference that is large though.

Yeah. That's where it goes beyond mere taste issues, but realistic expectation issues -- serious relationship. The OP should set his expectations in a rational way. She may like him as being a guy she's seeing, but not expecting to ride off in the romantic sunset as peas & carrots until the end.

One of the benefits of having a big-age-gap difference is that both (reasonable) parties aren't going to be expecting anything Serious, nor chasing it without realizing it's an off-key thing to do -- hence, less blame games for the other "not liking me enough", etc. But when you make it more than just casual, that's where it can get hairy after some time passes and things get settled into serious relationship-mode.

For me, when it comes to a casual dating relationship -- I don't care what her age is, 21 and above. I care about the looks & persona. Obviously of a substantial older age than myself (20+ years older) when I'm over 30, it becomes more difficult to run into one I take a liking to in-that-way, who's 25+ years older. But regardless, my age-window narrows if/when it's angled to get-serious-or-bust.
 reintree
Joined: 7/9/2016
Msg: 25
much older girlfriend
Posted: 7/15/2016 6:49:14 PM
Mick Jagger, 72, and his 29 year old girlfriend are expecting a child, his 8th.

And do you actually have any experience in this area NG? Didn't think so.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 26
much older girlfriend
Posted: 7/15/2016 7:11:53 PM
^^^
I'm sure they're both getting something out of it :)
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