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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > I feel like my gaming interests are what makes it hard to find a girl      Home login  
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 LordFawful
Joined: 3/12/2014
Msg: 1
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I feel like my gaming interests are what makes it hard to find a girlfriend.Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
In high school, I asked a guy in class about finding a girlfriend. He pointed me to his ex and somehow we got together and were happy. It was my first and only relationship to date. However, I have an obsession with video games, especially the Mario series. I feel like that distracted me from her, especially when I had to move away and we had to have a long distance relationship.

But here's the thing... Despite my interests in gaming I was truly in love with this girl. I wanted to be with her forever. Clearly she stopped thinking the same way around the time I moved away, because she started seeing someone else behind my back. When I finally saw her again and asked her to marry me, she broke up with me on the basis that I neglected her. That was when I actually went to her Facebook page and put the puzzle together to find out about her other "friend."

Well anyways that's just my story. I'm still obsessed with Mario among other franchises, and I do not hesitate to mention that on my profile here. Yet not a single girl has responded to me in the past year. It seems most girls I find attractive are not into that kind of stuff at all, but rather it's usually things I thought were more common in guys, like many outdoor activities. Is it really that rare to find a gamer girl? I mean I can enjoy outdoor activities but they aren't my main interest, so those girls probably wouldn't be interested in me.

Is it normal for someone with these types of interests to struggle finding their match?
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 2
I feel like my gaming interests are what makes it hard to find a girlfriend.
Posted: 7/25/2016 9:53:49 PM
I have a friend who looks like Angelina Jolie. She's a gamer girl. But that's rare.

Don't talk about gaming, unless she brings it up.... do the games with your guy friends and by yourself.

Make sure that with your next girlfriend, you don't sit there glued to the game and ignore her (unless she's a gamer girl). Do something else with her that's interactive or something where she can touch you, talk to you, and cuddle if she wants to. Women need affection like flowers need the rain.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 3
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I feel like my gaming interests are what makes it hard to find a girlfriend.
Posted: 7/25/2016 10:53:24 PM
Your interest in GAMES does not make it hard. What makes it hard is your LACK OF INTEREST in woman you want to hang out with you.

NO WOMAN ON EARTH wants to sit around and watch you play games. NONE.
NO WOMAN ON EARTH wants to sit around and watch you fix a motorcycle.
NO WOMAN ON EARTH wants to sit around and watch you play cards all night.

When a woman has an interest, she wants to be involved in it, not sitting and watching like a dog. You have to make her time with you entertaining. That means put down the game controller and take her somewhere, like dinner, a movie, dancing, the park, a party. Do some activity where she can be involved.

Would you like to sit and watch your girlfriend get her hair done for hours at a time?
 LordFawful
Joined: 3/12/2014
Msg: 4
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I feel like my gaming interests are what makes it hard to find a girlfriend.
Posted: 7/25/2016 11:46:39 PM
OK, let me clarify.

I never played video games with her around except one time, and she was interested in the game too.

The problem was the lack of opportunities we had to see each other. We both lived in a children's home where the guys rarely got to see the girls. So most of our time together was spent on the bus to the technology center where we both had classes.

Then when I was forced to move away (the home literally told me I had to go, because my parents were being too annoying to them) that's when things went downhill. We stayed in contact, but eventually she stopped responding to my messages. I assumed she needed space so I gave it to her and put my mind on other things. That's what caused her to eventually accuse me of neglecting her and going as far as saying she cried over me not messaging her.

So yeah, I had plenty of interest in her. Circumstances got in between us and forced us apart. Why if I had stayed in the home, we'd probably be married now.
 BLUEMISS
Joined: 7/15/2007
Msg: 5
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I feel like my gaming interests are what makes it hard to find a girlfriend.
Posted: 7/25/2016 11:52:35 PM
My son is 18 and he is a gamer. He goes to gaming nights at the University where both guys and girls are gaming. He did have a girlfriend for awhile that he met from going there. Is there somewhere that you could go where you live? You won't meet a girl sitting behind your own computer gaming, will you. Good Luck.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 6
I feel like my gaming interests are what makes it hard to find a girlfriend.
Posted: 7/26/2016 4:51:41 AM
Not even going to talk about your hobbies but, son, I would suggest you start thinking before you start asking women to marry you. You're freaking 21!!!!!!!
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 7
I feel like my gaming interests are what makes it hard to find a girlfriend.
Posted: 7/26/2016 5:34:50 AM

...because she started seeing someone else behind my back. When I finally saw her again and asked her to marry me,

She started dating someone else, and your solution to that was to ask her to marry you? You have the whole relationship thing backwards. You're suppose to resolve any problems BEFORE getting married. Marriage does not fix existing problems. Was the real intention of wanting to get married was to skip the dating process and getting to really know each other, so that you can spend that time gaming instead, and to have free maid service? Lots of luck trying to find someone to sign up for that deal. You're going to be living in your mom's basement for a long time.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 8
I feel like my gaming interests are what makes it hard to find a girlfriend.
Posted: 7/26/2016 6:26:45 AM
The distance probably killed that one.
 LordFawful
Joined: 3/12/2014
Msg: 9
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I feel like my gaming interests are what makes it hard to find a girlfriend.
Posted: 7/26/2016 6:59:26 AM
Nah, I was unaware that she was dating someone else when I asked her to marry me. I found that out afterwards.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 10
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I feel like my gaming interests are what makes it hard to find a girlfriend.
Posted: 7/26/2016 8:11:38 AM
First you should be aware that many young men report having trouble finding their "soulmate" so that isn't very unusual. And long distance relationships are a challenge to everyone.

I think the fact that you have autism is a much bigger hindrance than game playing, likely you mean you have Asperger's.

This might make you more of an obsessive game player and more likely to ignore relationships, always a problem.

I have a woman friend who is a gamer, she users her gamer interest to also run a business and support herself in Thailand. Not too long ago she got married and her husband is now a part of her business.

No doubt there are more male gamers than female, but female gamers is growing rapidly.
 AgentNinety9
Joined: 6/9/2016
Msg: 11
I feel like my gaming interests are what makes it hard to find a girlfriend.
Posted: 7/26/2016 8:56:06 AM
There are entire dating websites devoted to gamers. Find as many as you can and register for most if not all of them.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 12
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I feel like my gaming interests are what makes it hard to find a girlfriend.
Posted: 7/26/2016 11:48:06 AM

I feel like that distracted me from her, especially when I had to move away and we had to have a long distance relationship.

LD Relationships don't work. Too much video game playing will help you find solace in getting over a breakup, or preventing you from going out there to meet girls. Preventing you from going out there to meet girls is good when you're in a LD Relationship, but LD Relationships still don't last.

Clearly she stopped thinking the same way around the time I moved away, because she started seeing someone else behind my back.

Which had nothing to do with gaming. Again, LD Relationships don't work.

When I finally saw her again and asked her to marry me, she broke up with me on the basis that I neglected her.

There is going to be neglect -- that's what Long Distance is for. :) But yeah, she blamed it on you because of it. Hey, maybe you could shower her with virtual attention when being so far apart -- but in the end, she or you is going to feel a lack of Real attention (neglect) because there's not enough of it.

I'm still obsessed with Mario among other franchises, and I do not hesitate to mention that on my profile here.

You should take it Off your profile. Your profile's not a biography, it's an advertisement. Unless you're Solely looking for girls who play video games -- don't do it. When talking you can mention it as a hobby. But many many girls don't like guys who are all about video games, or get the hint that they are -- especially online (unless they themselves are into them of course). You should want to work off your obsession anyway, which requires walking in-step like those who aren't.

A lot of gamer girls may not be into gamer guys so much. Just don't advertise your gaming stuff. You can put in "Mario Games" in the hobby worded section, Or mention it off-hand in a sentence in your profile rattling off stuff you like to do -- but that's it. You're young -- you should Want to Develop an interest in being social and getting out there. So put on that hat, and roll with it. You'll still have plenty of time to play Mario anyway.

Leave mentioning the video games to your initial messages to specific girls who have references to Video games in their profile (but Still don't lay it on thick). Don't write a profile expecting video game girls to come to you. :)
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 13
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I feel like my gaming interests are what makes it hard to find a girlfriend.
Posted: 7/26/2016 11:52:48 AM
Are you still living in a group home?

How severe is your autism?

Both those issues might be impairments to your dating.


If you think it's your gaming behavior that interferes with your dating, though, change that behavior.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 14
I feel like my gaming interests are what makes it hard to find a girlfriend.
Posted: 7/26/2016 11:59:26 AM

However, I have an obsession with video games,


An "obsession" with anything is not an appealing quality in attracting an S/O.

An "interest", yes, OK, but an obsession usually indicates someone else will be playing second fiddle.
 Blackwood85
Joined: 5/20/2013
Msg: 15
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I feel like my gaming interests are what makes it hard to find a girlfriend.
Posted: 7/26/2016 6:45:07 PM
You're 21 now so I'm assuming when you date this girl you both were ages 18-20, asking her to marry you???? The game playing had nothing to do with it, she's a young woman who cheated on you, more than likely got bored and wanted to move on, her excuse was neglect but it could have been any reason. More than likely you scared her off.

As for gaming, I'm a gamer but I also have other interests but I think most reasonable women expect men to play video games, I know quite a few female gamers as well. While I don't date them, whenever I've had a girl over my place, I don't sit and play in front of them, maybe I'll finish up a mission but I'm not playing for hours in front of them. I'll even invite them to play, I taught the girl I'm currently dating how to play Mortal Kombat X, invite them into your interests, a game like Mario is easily accessible to casual and non-gamers. Mario Kart and Super Smash Bros. are great party games.
 lucidbarrier
Joined: 12/24/2006
Msg: 16
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I feel like my gaming interests are what makes it hard to find a girlfriend.
Posted: 7/26/2016 9:10:54 PM
You are a young man with a little experience dating. Many high school relationships don't make it past high school because we grow and change as people. What interests you at 18 maybe different from when you hit like 25. It just sounds like she just wasn't very serious about a long term commitment, which is understandable at that age. She really failed at communicating with you but what's done is done.

Long distance relationships are really difficult. There are so many tempting options available locally day to day. It's torture when your imagination runs wild.

Get some more experience with women. Engage with them whenever you can, even with those you don't want to date, because you get more practice. You put all your eggs in one basket, but there are more baskets out there. I personally think you need to know a woman for at least 2 years before you are ready to pop the question. The first few months, you really aren't yourselves yet, just a glorified front so you don't look too vulnerable. After the 1st year or so you start to get more comfortable and after the 2nd they start hanging up their bras on the shower rod.

The gaming thing really isn't a big deal at your age. Unless you are neglecting her while she was with you because you are spending hours and hours gaming, you can still casually do it. It wouldn't hurt you to be a little more flexible and do things outside with the woman you are interested in because it's kind of a give and take thing. Some times you have to watch the occasional chick flick or Dancing with the Stars and listen to them blabber about makeup and shoes.

Dating women really is a game too.
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 17
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I feel like my gaming interests are what makes it hard to find a girlfriend.
Posted: 7/27/2016 5:50:00 AM
Two things jumped out for me: your gaming obsession and the fact that a girl mentioned that you neglected her. You even admit that your gaming distracted you from her. Can you see the link here?


Your interest in GAMES does not make it hard. What makes it hard is your LACK OF INTEREST in woman you want to hang out with you.


This poster has nailed it on the head. I dare say that your autism is keeping you from gaining a perspective on this but it would help if you weaned yourself away from your gaming habit, so that it becomes something else to do, rather than your life's work. Unless you want to stay single that is. Even if you meet someone who's into gaming as much as you are, I feel that you're likely to be disgruntled by someone encroaching on your obsession and not allowing you to focus on that rather than the relationship if you stay unaware of the changing dynamic.

All things in proportion.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 18
I feel like my gaming interests are what makes it hard to find a girlfriend.
Posted: 7/27/2016 6:44:45 AM
There's a fine line between obsession and addiction, and I never heard of someone with an addiction having a successful, long term relationship. OP: Are you willing to make any sacrifices/compromises (in other words, cutting back on time spent gaming) if or when you meet someone? If not, you'll end up with the same result as you have now.
 LLove2LaughToo
Joined: 6/6/2016
Msg: 19
I feel like my gaming interests are what makes it hard to find a girlfriend.
Posted: 7/27/2016 7:35:11 AM

I feel like my gaming interests are what makes it hard to find a girlfriend.


I've been playing video games since Panasonic produced the first ever CD-ROM-based video console platform in 1993, the Panasonic 3DO. Red Dead Redemption, Assassin's Creed, Call of Duty and Homefront are some of my favorite games.

Making time for a balance of work, play and leisure is what makes relationships flourish or fail.
 LordFawful
Joined: 3/12/2014
Msg: 20
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I feel like my gaming interests are what makes it hard to find a girlfriend.
Posted: 7/27/2016 9:41:34 AM
Thanks for the replies.

About the comment that you should be with someone for at least 2 years before marriage, we met when I was 16, and I was 19 when I wanted to marry her. I realize I may have been too young, but I legit believed she loved me that much and I definitely loved her that much. I moved across the country soon as I could just to be near her for pete's sake.

Also, I am not sure if I mentioned this on here yet, but the event that prompted me to try this site again was an emotional breakdown that was caused by me cleaning my apartment and finding a home-made Valentine's day card she had made for me. I started thinking that I absolutely needed to find someone to take her place or I would never get over her.

And it may not just be my gaming interests but I am more than willing to shelve video games if it meant I could have a healthy relationship with a girl. Heck, I spend more time on GameFAQs talking about games than I do playing them nowadays anyway.

I live alone now btw, and I don't really know how bad my autism is, though I have an aid that comes in to help with stuff.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 21
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I feel like my gaming interests are what makes it hard to find a girlfriend.
Posted: 7/27/2016 11:28:06 AM
LordFawful, why not play multiplayer games like WOW. Those games encourage groups of 5-25 people to collaborate in overcoming challenges.

That way you both get to play a game and develop more relationship skills.

I am sure there are other similar games.
 hearton64
Joined: 6/9/2016
Msg: 22
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I feel like my gaming interests are what makes it hard to find a girlfriend.
Posted: 7/27/2016 11:36:39 AM
I'm wondering if you have a job?
Youtuber/forum admin aside how do you make money?

I read your profile and noticed it says you don't
Drive/have a car.

You lead with your gaming hobby/obsession on top
of which on paper doesn't help.

What I know of autism, is little,but as a generalization
It comes with limited abilities on a continuum especially
when it comes to forming relationships.

You're young and sound lonely and I feel for you.

It took me a year to find a mate here. I came with my own
baggage too.

I'm thinking there are a few things you need to do
in your life to make yourself more marketable in a very
competitive dating world just like anyone else.

I also suggest you get involved with a coed hobby other
than gaming and expand your "web" of options.

Girls your age expect a man to pick them up and court them.
And most don't want to share time with you with your Xbox.

Don't lose hope!

There's someone for everyone but it's not always easy to find them.
Oh yeah until you get over her you won't have room in your heart for the next girl.

Not the other way around. ??
 Eliclard
Joined: 7/17/2016
Msg: 23
I feel like my gaming interests are what makes it hard to find a girlfriend.
Posted: 7/27/2016 4:50:11 PM
Sorry to hear about your relationship troubles, I know how you feel on trying to find the perfect girl for you that is a gamer. I'm an avid Mario fan myself lol I play a lot of mario games as well and it is very difficult to find girls that are into gaming or nintendo games in general on pof or any dating site really, their just one of those "rare" occurrences that are hard to find but I say don't give up! :D you'll find someone for you eventually as will I. I think we have to realize that to some women there is just more to life than gaming for them and they want more then that. I suppose in order to have a healthy relationship we have to slowly yet gradually incorporate video games into their lives and show them how fun they are along with sustaining the necessary needs, their needs to have a stable relationship.
 hearton64
Joined: 6/9/2016
Msg: 24
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I feel like my gaming interests are what makes it hard to find a girlfriend.
Posted: 7/28/2016 7:46:01 AM
Or better yet reprioritize your life and put gaming
on the back burner if having a relationship is so important
to you.

I have to say and it may not be popular but
find it strange that adults play video
games originally designed for kids.

I,for one,could never date a man who played them.

But hey to each their own!
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 25
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I feel like my gaming interests are what makes it hard to find a girlfriend.
Posted: 7/28/2016 7:56:29 AM
There is a Gaming Meetup Group in your area
tinyurl.com/NCGGroup

They have about 140 members and meet every week. I am sure you can get a ride or meet some new friends. Guys and girls. The more you put yourself out there the more girls you will meet.
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