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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > How much time do you spend texting before meeting?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 green0eye0girl
Joined: 7/21/2016
Msg: 1
How much time do you spend texting before meeting?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I've been OLD for 10 months now, off and on here, and 2 other sites. I know I've let a bunch of guys waste my time. Oujia has pointed this out to me several times, she's been shocked I'd spend 2 hours texting when little does she know I've spent weeks texting, and in the end the same result, no date, no meet nada. From my experience if I don't meet within a week I never do.

So I do tend to overreact to situations, I like to think I just don't tolerate BS, but I guess I am just pretty jaded by men on OLD. So this new guy been texting with since July 20th. I will add that I originally talked to him in November, things didn't go well, since then he had had several accounts and has hit me up multiple times. I finally gave in because he seemed sincere. So we were supposed to meet for coffee Monday night, Monday morning he asks if we can meet another night, I said sure no rush I'll be single forever. We continue texting over the next couple days with him complaining about the weather...excessive heat and one day rain. So now it's Thursday and still no plan to meet, we're texting and he tells me he's going to Jamaica Monday on vacation, so I reply I guess we aren't meeting anytime soon, he says when he gets back....like I'm expected to sit around and wait....smh. So I reply (yes I am a wiseass) I'll probably still be single...but ya never know, his reply ...I hope so.

Ok so the more and more I thought about it, I can see he goes on vacation for a week comes back and then he's tired from vacation to meet or he'll be swamped with work and the excuses will continue. here is the text I sent him...I'm going to try to not overreact but I'm just going to explain myself...I think you deserve that rather then me just avoiding your text...I've been on and off dating sites for 10 months 😠😠in my experience if I don't meet within the first couple days it never happens...you've had plenty of time to meet me...considering it was just going to be a coffee at dunkin and the heat and rain are pathetic excuses, I get the feeling you're either too busy or have lost interest because the chase was much more fun then the catch. So i hope you find what you're looking for...I can't continue to let you waste any more of my time😡
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 2
How much time do you spend texting before meeting?
Posted: 7/29/2016 7:14:21 AM
Goodness you cannot let time vampires take advantage of you :( Some ppl have no intention of ever meeting - plus for me I run out of stuff fast to text/email to a stranger. Not several times - once or twice LOL
I agree that if people don't move quickly to meet in person chances are you will never meet.
Which is why I finally quit emailing my Vin.
Damn fine man tho
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 3
How much time do you spend texting before meeting?
Posted: 7/29/2016 7:46:46 AM
"I will add that I originally talked to him in November, things didn't go well, since then he had had several accounts and has hit me up multiple times. I finally gave in because he seemed sincere."

>>>Sorry to hear your gut feeling came true.

"which is why I finally quit emailing my Vin. Damn fine man, tho"

>>>ah, but if he hadn't been so fine, would the gut have spoken more clearly? :)

I don't have an electronic leash, so I don't text. Others have posted here in the past, its a convenient barrier. I think that's potentially true, as people put off meeting in person, apparently b/c of it. Be interesting to see what others say, but I think its so easy to text, it costs little. If one had to go meet someone they didn't have a good gut feeling about...it might make up more decisions for them?
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 4
How much time do you spend texting before meeting?
Posted: 7/29/2016 7:51:44 AM
Lots of time vampires out there.

Sometimes I'll humor a gal's request to text for a few days before meeting.

Kind of like one of those digital thingies that chirps. You have to click it to feed it when it chirps.

Sometimes I feel like it's some kind of sh!t test to make sure I don't mention the word sex.

Like a temptation or something...

Ya know, what if I text an offensive emoji to her??
 AgentNinety9
Joined: 6/9/2016
Msg: 5
How much time do you spend texting before meeting?
Posted: 7/29/2016 8:03:29 AM
This guy has been jerking your chain since November. I would have lost interest 8 months ago, but let's assume I didn't because he seemed sincere (??) or maybe especially desirable for some other reason. In which case I hope the parting shot brings a sense of closure. It's way too wordy and insufficiently cutting, IMO. Like you're leaving him a nice opening to apologize "sincerely" and promise he'll really really meet you this time.

It seems odd to me that people are willing to go along for the ride in the clown car for months, then they want blame the other person for wasting their time.

Time vampires require a willing host.

I personally not a fan of texting esp. if it makes bird noises. Nothing about another frivolous demand for my attention is appealing. You'd basically get radio silence from me.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 6
How much time do you spend texting before meeting?
Posted: 7/29/2016 8:18:51 AM
GTO - my Vin is the actor Vin Diesel :/
oh my gut isn't wrong that he's still got it.. he could read me a phone book and I'd melt
Agent is true - TVs find lots of willing victims. If so random stranger started moaning about the weather I'd flee.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 7
How much time do you spend texting before meeting?
Posted: 7/29/2016 8:22:00 AM
If people had a no texting policy until we meet each other an decide we want to continue seeing each other and staying in touch, that would put an end to endless messages with a stranger while hiding behind a screen. My policy is up to three e-mails max, and meet within a week. If a persons says they're too busy to meet that soon, I tell them to let me know when they have more time to spare.
 BHinFL
Joined: 4/26/2016
Msg: 8
How much time do you spend texting before meeting?
Posted: 7/29/2016 9:13:23 AM
If you have texted / talked more than two weeks without meeting then you're wasting your time.
I prefer to meet within one week if possible.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 9
view profile
History
How much time do you spend texting before meeting?
Posted: 7/29/2016 9:36:53 AM
1-2 weeks and that's it. Don't waste your time, you're not looking for penpals.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 10
How much time do you spend texting before meeting?
Posted: 7/29/2016 9:49:40 AM
Oh, I beg to differ. I remember several years ago having this ongoing hilARious banter with this guy in another city. I'm talking literal laughing out loud hysterics to the point of tears. Best thing I ever got from this site. Not a waste of time, in my opinion. But then I find lots of things that don't involve desperately persuing a mate to not be a waste of time.
 green0eye0girl
Joined: 7/21/2016
Msg: 11
How much time do you spend texting before meeting?
Posted: 7/29/2016 9:58:41 AM
This guy has been jerking your chain since November

No, he originally contacted me in November....it didn't go any further then a few messages because he said something I didn't like....after that he has messaged me thru the other site on a few occasions.

After I text him last night his reply this morning was 2 texts........LMFAO and Overreact Much

First the lmfao just proves he has no respect for my feelings and I was kind in my text, I'm from Jersey, my normal pissed off text would've included an expletive every other word :D
 StumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 12
view profile
History
How much time do you spend texting before meeting?
Posted: 7/29/2016 10:54:21 AM
I would saaaaayyyyy.... somewhere between zero and 2-3 minutes.
And it would usually say something like: "Ok, I'm here. Now where the hell are YOU?"
Now ask how much time I spend with email and on the phone. Hint: quite a bit more. And mainly because I tend to date long distance. There just aren't many fish in my local little pond here.


Which is why I finally quit emailing my Vin.


GTO - my Vin is the actor Vin Diesel :/


Good thing I read follow ups. I would still be sitting here wondering why you send people your vehicle identification number. lol!
 AgentNinety9
Joined: 6/9/2016
Msg: 13
How much time do you spend texting before meeting?
Posted: 7/29/2016 11:46:59 AM
I've had a few of those long-distance LOLs too, they were a hoot. But texting as part of actually meeting or dating someone? Not doing it. It used to annoy the hell out of me when my last BF would call me in the middle of the day from the office just to chat. I'm like WTF I just saw you this morning. Are you dying?


After I text him last night his reply this morning was 2 texts........LMFAO and Overreact Much

I guessed you'd get something like that back from him. I think you're right, if two people can't figure out how to meet within a reasonable time, then at least one of them is like this guy.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 14
How much time do you spend texting before meeting?
Posted: 7/29/2016 12:05:04 PM
She winked and I agreed to move to text.

It was fast and furious. We exchanged job information, relationship stuff and common interests.

Bam, I was her digital co-pilot! She went to Vegas and I got an update every couple of hours.

I got little flirts and drunken texts.

Heard about her experience at the Airport.

Her food choices at the Hotel.

The money she won.

Her hangover.

And then...she decided to cancel our Sunday date to go hang with her friend.

I called her a time vampire. She cursed me and we blocked each other.

Entire relationships have started and died though text without ever meeting

vvvvv

No meals or attorneys were involved. But neither was a happy ending.

Not sure what to derive from that?
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 15
How much time do you spend texting before meeting?
Posted: 7/29/2016 12:10:44 PM
^ You did it wrong again :(
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 16
view profile
History
How much time do you spend texting before meeting?
Posted: 7/29/2016 12:32:26 PM
You're sort of digging your own grave if you're willing to text for weeks without any set plans to meet. Don't become pen-pals in the first place. You can text a little bit every other day or so -- and maybe within the 2 weeks get a long convo out of it, sure -- but it should only be close to 2 weeks if they had to go out of town for a good while, right after you and he started chatting (bad timing).

But basically it's pretty simple. Don't be pen pals. After messaging some back n forth for a few days, or after a day or so post-long conversation, bring up getting together some time In The Near Future. Ditch the "let's get to know each other first before meeting" BS. :) Avoid long convos, don't try and win him over by being a virtual pen pal. Keep texting very short until some plans are made. Don't focus on him as an actual prospect after a couple conversations were had -- until plans are set.

If someone's interested in you, they'll make room for a quick meet-up in the very least, in the near future. If they have emotional problems about meeting someone soon after having a couple conversations online -- it's not worth chasing that down. Then you'd be digging your own grave (and lucking out once in a great while in terms of merely meeting way in the future, but still not worth doing for all situations like that combined).
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 17
How much time do you spend texting before meeting?
Posted: 7/29/2016 1:59:41 PM
I'm sure Ouija2025 makes a great wingwoman....... you would have trouble finding better ;)
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 18
How much time do you spend texting before meeting?
Posted: 7/29/2016 2:20:59 PM
Baby - yea but you bonkers LOL. Best thing? whimper. Better than all your used to be pals here on the forums?
Get thee to a nunnery.
I can eat wings if that counts. I once sat with a group, woman ate wings with a knife and fork. Barbaric
 green0eye0girl
Joined: 7/21/2016
Msg: 19
How much time do you spend texting before meeting?
Posted: 7/29/2016 2:29:28 PM
You're sort of digging your own grave if you're willing to text for weeks without any set plans to meet.

Actually we started talking on Wednesday, he even called and we talked on the phone, we agreed that day we'd meet Monday then Monday came and he cancelled saying he was hot and tired from playing baseball all weekend, it seemed like a valid excuse at the time, when he cancelled he did say we'd still meet up this week, but by Thursday I knew it wasn't happening.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 20
How much time do you spend texting before meeting?
Posted: 7/29/2016 2:58:01 PM
I think somebody has been gossiping! Shame-shame! I never touched that woman, lol
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 21
How much time do you spend texting before meeting?
Posted: 7/29/2016 3:01:09 PM
LOL I could quote several reeeeaaallly good responses, here. Buuuuuttt I'm too lazy.

This is easy peasy!
ANY man who really wanted my attention, made it clear to me, he wanted my attention. A clear first message on the OLD site, a follow-up message, a voice phone chat, (little to, no silly /useless/ ridiculous TEXTING chatter,) and plans to meet in person, NO later than 2 weeks from initial contact.
(With BF, the only reason for a 2 week delay, was prior plans with family and unforeseen health issues. He had plans to visit daughter out of town and I spent 4 days in the hospital. )

When it took longer for a man to bring up the subject of meeting..........or agree to meet?
When he insisted we send text messages,..............
When he was just soooo busy...............
PFFFFTT!

LOL Good grief, I never sat home W..a..i...t...i..n..g. Got things to do, people to see, life to live!

Anything we do, we choose to participate.....OR NOT!
 ThatGirlNamedAlli
Joined: 12/28/2013
Msg: 22
How much time do you spend texting before meeting?
Posted: 7/29/2016 4:43:39 PM
I don't have a smartphone and I've never texted before. I say in my profile that I don't have a phone. So when I get asked my number of I'd like to text, right away it turns me off. Maybe they didn't read my profile?
Anyway, so my answer is zero. But I'm still single, so I guess that method isn't working for me :)
 ndm147
Joined: 8/1/2013
Msg: 23
How much time do you spend texting before meeting?
Posted: 7/29/2016 5:00:14 PM
Clooneys tutor, your stories are always funny.

The longest I ever texted someone was 15o messages between us. But he lives in Austin and I live in San Antonio and the distance would have been an issue. Eventually I just wanted to meet him; as a friend. I drove two hours to meet him for lunch, He never offered to drive half way or come to me. And for all of you wanting to know who paid for the lunch: he did and I expected he would. Had a nice long lunch and enjoyed the visit. It was fun.

But that was a different kind of meetup. Most of the text messages I have last a few times, then they disappear or I get so bored with their lack of typing/communicating skills that I just stop responding. Some will text again weeks later and I don't respond. I got a text today from someone saying "hi." Since I don't usually put their name with phone number I had not a clue which one he was. Maybe from another dating site I have since closed. My response was " who are you?" Never heard back from him. I don't take any of this seriously anymore!
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 24
How much time do you spend texting before barfing?
Posted: 7/29/2016 6:24:03 PM
"… or like giggling junior high school girls passing little paper wads around in class."

You can't even shoot spit balls with a smart phone.
 keepingitsimple1101
Joined: 6/19/2015
Msg: 25
How much time do you spend texting before barfing?
Posted: 7/30/2016 4:23:34 AM

I just can’t see getting to know someone via 140-character back & forth.


Agreed

I've no issues with getting the occasional "thinking of you" type text from a new OLD interest. I much prefer a voice or video call if we are going to chat prior to meeting.

Also I've had those "exploratory" LDRs (after meeting and compatibility testing) that typically starts devolving to a life of texting, it's just not for me .

On the flip side of things I'd say at least for me, my OLD interest's texting habits often provide me with a gauge of when it's time to say "thanks but no thanks". This is usually fairly early on too which is a boon.

GL folks
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