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 LittleDreamGirl
Joined: 4/27/2016
Msg: 1
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Would you have a cyber sex relationship with someone if you weren't dating anyone else?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I was in a long-distance relationship last year with someone in Australia. I am in Canada, so it doesn't get more "long distance" than that. It lasted 5 months. The only thing that sustained it is because we had made plans for him to come visit me earlier this year here in Canada AND the fact that he was willing to move to Canada if things worked out. He even started to look for jobs here. We sustained it through multiple messages and texts every day (always a "Good Morning" and "Good Night" message and lots throughout the day in between. We Skyped on video about every 2-3 days for sometimes up to 2-3 hours each time. He would send me random pics from his day - pics of his co-workers, him working etc. I introduced my sister to him via Skype. And there were lots of daily "I love you"s. On the sexual side, let's just say we got very creative with camera angles, lol. And I can tell you I had many satisfying orgasms throughout the months of our cyber sex life. I am being completely honest when I say I was genuinely falling in love with him, and cared for him very deeply.

But for a variety of reasons - major health problems and financial difficulties on his end, it all came to an end at the end of last year. I was heartbroken, but within a few months was over it and had moved on to dating people locally.

After several months of no contact, out of the blue he contacts me and has been pursuing me for weeks now in the hopes we can resume our cyber sex life. I am currently single, having had a recent dating disaster. I miss sex. I am over him emotionally and don't want a "relationship" with him because I see no future in him. But man, he is absolutely gorgeous (in my mind), has the sexiest accent in the world, and when I see him smile, it makes me melt. Not to mention a body to die for. So you know what? I said screw it, and tonight we had cyber sex and I even reached orgasm. So at this point, having cyber sex with a real, sexy, gorgeous guy who I'm comfortable with beats pleasuring myself alone in my bedroom.

Of course, as soon as I start dating someone here in real life that will immediately end. But until then, why not enjoy it while it lasts?

Has anyone else here ever had a regular cyber sex life with someone until you met someone in real life?
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 2
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Would you have a cyber sex relationship with someone if you weren't dating anyone else?
Posted: 7/31/2016 3:42:15 AM
My ex wife thinks she's been in a relationship for the last eight years with someone living 6500 miles away. In that time they've seen each other for a total of 28 days and she hasn't seen him for five years other than on Skype.

That's not a relationship; it's keeping your life on hold.

I don't think you were ever in love with this man; it's more likely that you had a deep infatuation towards him. You know nothing about him other than what he's passed on. It's just as likely that he has a wife and kids and you're a bit of fun inbetween times.

Go live your life.
 AgentNinety9
Joined: 6/9/2016
Msg: 3
Would you have a cyber sex relationship with someone if you weren't dating anyone else?
Posted: 7/31/2016 4:21:34 AM
You can't know anything about this man and his life except what he chooses to tell you. I agree that what you had is not a real relationship but a mere fantasy/simulation of one. It feels the same to you because it feels the same. In other words, the emotional reactions you get are indistinguishable to your nervous system from the ones you experience in a real relationship.

This is why bodice-rippers are so popular with so many women. It doesn't really matter to them that there's nothing more but words on the page. The cover art sets the tone, and what they're going for is the mental excitement and the feelings that come with it. Their imaginations easily embellish, project, and fill in any of the missing details. If they weren't experiencing that specific kind of relationship titillation with a man from reading those books, they'd be less excited and therefore bored, and they'd go find something else to do.

The only difference between you and them is that you used modern communications technology instead of the old-fashioned printed page, and you got another person to play along.

Nope, I wouldn't play at having a relationship with anyone. My mind doesn't work that way, but then again I'm probably too logical for my own good and a big party pooper. Whatever floats your boat, though!
 Dougtwo
Joined: 1/29/2013
Msg: 4
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Would you have a cyber sex relationship with someone if you weren't dating anyone else?
Posted: 7/31/2016 8:06:10 AM
All you really have done is replaced watching porn, if you do that, with watching a real person while pleasuring yourself.

Sadly no one has a relationship with someone they have never met, no matter how much they tell themselves otherwise.

And there is always a repeating theme, he was going to come here, but finances got in the way. Likely he was never going to come he just told you otherwise to get you to take off your clothes so he could see you play with yourself. That was his replacement for porn.

Sorry is this is harsh, but people don't remember things are not told bluntly.
 BHinFL
Joined: 4/26/2016
Msg: 5
Life is too short. Have fun and enjoy yourself!
Posted: 7/31/2016 12:17:51 PM

I said screw it, and tonight we had cyber sex and I even reached orgasm. So at this point, having cyber sex with a real, sexy, gorgeous guy who I'm comfortable with beats pleasuring myself alone in my bedroom.

Why not? You're comfortable with him. It doesn't cost you money. You stated clearly that you're over him emotionally. Have fun!


Has anyone else here ever had a regular cyber sex life with someone until you met someone in real life?

Never have, but I'm not dead yet, so ...
 BHinFL
Joined: 4/26/2016
Msg: 6
"It's a small world after all ..."
Posted: 7/31/2016 12:21:00 PM

My ex wife thinks she's been in a relationship for the last eight years with someone living 6500 miles away. In that time they've seen each other for a total of 28 days and she hasn't seen him for five years other than on Skype.

My first ex is doing almost the exact same thing. She has seen her boyfriend a bit more frequently, though not much more, and the distance is around 1,500 miles. To each their own I guess.

Amor de lejos, amor de pendejos.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 7
It's a small world after all ...
Posted: 7/31/2016 12:37:32 PM
done a few in the past, when meeting IRL was as uncommon as digital cameras. We'd snail mail a photo in the beginning, but then the price of cameras came down from $1000. Met 4 in person where they lived, got to tour the place with a local and avoiding doing the tourist trap routine. And got laid, too. that's always nice.
 Scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 8
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It's a small world after all ...
Posted: 7/31/2016 4:14:09 PM
I've had a long distance cyber fling before...and it was hot as hell.

Nothing wrong as long as you're both single.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 9
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Would you have a cyber sex relationship with someone if you weren't dating anyone else?
Posted: 8/1/2016 1:33:36 AM
. You really need to get a real life connection going and not waste time on cyber fantasies. All this I love you stuff is just a fantasy also. If you were to meet in the flesh there may not be any chemistry at all. I dont get how you can care for someone you have not met, it is just projection and wishful thinking. I wonder why you chose to have such a long distance connection anyway.?? Health and financial problems you dont want and do you really know if he is unattached?
 dameunbaso
Joined: 10/4/2011
Msg: 10
Would you have a cyber sex relationship with someone if you weren't dating anyone else?
Posted: 8/1/2016 7:51:49 AM
The more mental time you spend on a cyber relationship, is time that you do not spend finding a REAL person.
 StumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 11
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Would you have a cyber sex relationship with someone if you weren't dating anyone else?
Posted: 8/1/2016 10:29:18 AM

I see him smile, it makes me melt. Not to mention a body to die for. So you know what? I said screw it, and tonight we had cyber sex and I even reached orgasm.

So what's the problem? It's one of a number of alternatives that can substitute when the real thing isn't available.


Has anyone else here ever had a regular cyber sex life with someone until you met someone in real life?

Not before I had met them. But I was in an LDR that was 2-3 weeks with her then 2-3 weeks apart, and that went on for several years. You just can't beat the real thing. But the Cyber was enough to get us through some tough patches. I think it's been one of technologies greatest contributions in support of LDR couples lol!
 oneday57
Joined: 10/17/2015
Msg: 12
Would you have a cyber sex relationship with someone if you weren't dating anyone else?
Posted: 8/2/2016 4:01:19 AM
AAA might watch a woman on the puter but as for cyber stuff in MY opinion its a waste of time as I do like the real thing....oh I'm sure some get their kicks from that but its not me....lol
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 13
Would you have a cyber sex relationship with someone if you weren't dating anyone else?
Posted: 8/2/2016 8:52:14 AM
Sounds like a lack-luster relationship.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 14
Would you have a cyber sex relationship with someone if you weren't dating anyone else?
Posted: 8/2/2016 10:02:59 AM
i'll throw this monkey wrench(es) into the mix. Sometimes, that cyber relationship is a married person who won't literally step out, but is standing in the grey area. If they take it seriously, and we're going to dump them as soon as we get something real, did we lead them on? or did they lead themselves on?

Some of those cyber relationships are like the ones that end up on that show, "Catfish". If we go for years cybersexing and conducting like its a real relationship....is it? is conducting a relationship as cruel as cyber bullying, or is the responsibility resting on the person who put too much stock into what we say online?
 diaboloacetin
Joined: 12/20/2014
Msg: 15
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Would you have a cyber sex relationship with someone if you weren't dating anyone else?
Posted: 8/8/2016 8:30:40 PM
The OP mentioned cybersex only at this point. Imo I say go for it, definitely better than just watching porn.

As far as cyber relationships, I've had a few, some whicb tjrned into real ones. Being with someone in tne flesh is definitely better, but that doesn't mean the cyber part wasn't satisfaory. As a matter of fact I prefer to establish a connection online and over the phone before I actually meet (with pics of course). The mental and emotional connection are very important, the physical usually falls in place by itself.
 LittleDreamGirl
Joined: 4/27/2016
Msg: 16
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Would you have a cyber sex relationship with someone if you weren't dating anyone else?
Posted: 8/23/2016 9:59:07 PM
Well I can report that yeah, while it can be fun to have some cybersex with someone you find attractive, it is not sustainable for very long and ultimately, it is hard for emotions not to come into play, even if you have no plans to have a real-world relationship with the person.

So basically my ex, who I was in a long-distance relationship with for about 6 months last year got back in touch with me a few months ago. We know the relationship can't work in the real world (he's in Australia, I'm in Canada and he is barely getting by financially). But the online sex was amazing when we were together last year. After he got back in touch with me a few months ago he soonthereafter started trying to "seduce" me (virtually) and get me to have cyber sex with him. I kept turning him down and told him that since we're no longer in a relationship and have no future together, I'm not into it. But that we could be friends. Well he didn't give up. He was messaging me literally EVERY DAY to chat...sometimes up to 7-8 times a day. It was borderline stalking. And it was like he became obsessed with getting me to cybersex. And if I didn't answer his messages in a timely fashion he would get all upset and try and guilt trip me into giving him more attention (ie. "you just don't care" "why are you avoiding me" "I know you're online" "it's funny you don't make any time for me" etc. etc.).

Well after my most recent "real-world" dating disaster, I finally relented and gave in and started having cyber sex with him again. But I'm not naive...I realized that it won't last forever and that when one of us gets into a serious relationship it would come to an end.

So for about the last 6 weeks we've been having cyber sex at least 1-2 times per week and he's been messaging me literally every single day. He also added me back as a friend on Facebook and invited me to play some online Facebook games with him.

Well the last time we had cyber sex was about 10 days ago. Then suddenly after that, I don't hear from him like usual. One day goes by, then two, then three, then a whole week. This is after he has LITERALLY been messaging me almost every day for the last 3 months, and when I don't answer him he gives me heck.

So I realize after not hearing from him for over a week, that chances are that this means he has started dating someone or is having a cyber-fling with someone else. Fine. But just freakin' tell me if that's the case. No reason we can't stay on good terms.

So I sent him a message saying basically that I found it odd that he hadn't been in touch with me for over a week and that must mean he is dating someone, and that's fine if that is the case, but why not just tell me.

He got all uppity, refused to answer the question and said "it's always me that says hi" and told me to "go back to bed" in a very condescending tone. So I wrote "What the f*ck is your problem?" Then he writes back "You're so full of it. I'm over you. Have a nice life." Then he UNFRIENDS and BLOCKS me on Facebook. WTF????

I don't understand how this guy goes from borderline stalking me for the past 3 months to suddenly not contacting me for a week, to suddenly blocking me. Meanwhile, anytime I haven't answered his messages in the past few months he gets pissed off and guilts me. But the one time I call him on his week of silence he gets all pissy and blocks me. I know he's an idiot and was obviously just using me for cybersex. Still, it hurts to be blocked by someone you once cared deeply for what seems to be a ridiculous reason.

Anyway, yeah the cybersex sessions we had were pretty hot. But it's not worth it when the guy starts acting like an a$$hole.

Won't be doing that with anyone again. :(
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 17
Would you have a cyber sex relationship with someone if you weren't dating anyone else?
Posted: 8/24/2016 6:43:03 AM
just for the record--his stalking in the beginning, was the red flag that he's self centered/self focused. Just so that the next time you meet someone behaving that way...you can know, its not going to end respectfully. It might be more enjoyable when you know its going to crash at the end, is all i'm saying.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 18
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Would you have a cyber sex relationship with someone if you weren't dating anyone else?
Posted: 8/24/2016 6:47:16 AM
Sounds just like the last guy, who was bombarding you with attention BEFORE that last date, and then dumped you like a hot potato when you didn't behave in exactly the way he wanted you to.
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 19
Would you have a cyber sex relationship with someone if you weren't dating anyone else?
Posted: 8/24/2016 7:04:16 AM

He got all uppity, refused to answer the question and said "it's always me that says hi" and told me to "go back to bed" in a very condescending tone. So I wrote "What the f*ck is your problem?" Then he writes back "You're so full of it. I'm over you. Have a nice life." Then he UNFRIENDS and BLOCKS me on Facebook. WTF????

I don't understand how this guy goes from borderline stalking me for the past 3 months to suddenly not contacting me for a week, to suddenly blocking me. Meanwhile, anytime I haven't answered his messages in the past few months he gets pissed off and guilts me. But the one time I call him on his week of silence he gets all pissy and blocks me. I know he's an idiot and was obviously just using me for cybersex. Still, it hurts to be blocked by someone you once cared deeply for what seems to be a ridiculous reason.

Anyway, yeah the cybersex sessions we had were pretty hot. But it's not worth it when the guy starts acting like an a$$hole.

Oh boy. Hope your cyber sex video doesn't show up on 'amateur night' porn sites.

Which is the answer I would give to the question in the OP of why not cyber sex with someone you don't have/want an actual real life relationship with.
 jerrymoe
Joined: 2/12/2016
Msg: 20
Would you have a cyber sex relationship with someone if you weren't dating anyone else?
Posted: 8/24/2016 3:29:02 PM
I love cybersex. But dont know anyobe weird like me that will do it.
 jerrymoe
Joined: 2/12/2016
Msg: 21
Would you have a cyber sex relationship with someone if you weren't dating anyone else?
Posted: 8/24/2016 5:11:36 PM
I have. Its great. My partner got married so now im looking for another girl
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 22
Would you have a cyber sex relationship with someone if you weren't dating anyone else?
Posted: 8/25/2016 7:06:43 AM

Has anyone else here ever had a regular cyber sex life with someone until you met someone in real life?


I wouldn't call it a "relationship". But I did have cybersex with a woman for a short period of time. We would each watch the other person masturbate online and while exchanging X rated messages. Then she started dating someone else and it ended.
 vaalkaar1
Joined: 7/29/2016
Msg: 23
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Would you have a cyber sex relationship with someone if you weren't dating anyone else?
Posted: 8/25/2016 7:36:14 AM
A few months ago even, I would have jumped enthusiastically into a cyber-sex situation, but not anymore. I watched a TED talk on your brain on porn, though, and the way it messes with the reward center seemed to have an impact on my daily life. Cyber-sex isn't very far removed from that, and in my past experience, when the cyber-sex stops, it's too easy to just pick up porn and barely notice a difference. I'm not saying it does this to everyone, but for me, cyber-sex is just another way for me to keep myself shut in rather than going out and actually making personal connections with people.

That's a roundabout way of saying I did have regular cyber sex with a few people throughout the years, but it ultimately hurt me in the real world.
 GWSmith
Joined: 12/18/2008
Msg: 24
Would you have a cyber sex relationship with someone if you weren't dating anyone else?
Posted: 8/25/2016 5:24:39 PM
Yeah I've done it before. The real thing is always better but you can explore things you'd never try in person though.
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