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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?      Home login  
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 sleeps_in_mouse_pajamas
Joined: 6/26/2016
Msg: 1
What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Most men will assume a woman thinks they're suffering from male pattern baldness if she asks for a photo where he is not wearing a hat. This is not the case for every woman. There are profiles where the man is wearing a hat in every photo where there has been up to six---which is a little over the top. What is the best approach in requesting a hatless photo? I realize it's impossible to not offend some individuals.

Note: This thread will probably get deleted, so I thought I'd share the following for men who do wear hats to cover baldness which explains why they wear them. Only a few will get to read this (copied and pasted from another online forum):

What I have noticed when wearing a hat is how much of a difference people see me when I take it off......I think it is a surprise to them, a disappointment, a shock......

Situation 1:
I signed on at a local gym recently. I of course was wearing my beanie and a pretty girl guided me around and helped me to get signed up.....

Next thing she says 'we need to take a photo of you for our records' *my heart sinks*. I think eff it and take the beanie off. I think she got a shock, she was like 'you look a lot different with your hat off'. I did not say anything, I am not very good with anyone commenting on my hair, I can't jokingly brush it off, it just annoys me.....
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 2
What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/3/2016 8:23:35 AM
Offer to exchange topless photos.

You're welcome.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 3
What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/3/2016 8:35:29 AM
As you have already guessed, it's not a tactful question, don't go there. It may sour the milk.

You can't be both his counselor and his date. Talk to men without hats.
 sleeps_in_mouse_pajamas
Joined: 6/26/2016
Msg: 4
What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/3/2016 8:44:39 AM
"As you have already guessed, it's not a tactful question, don't go there. It may sour the milk.
You can't be both his counselor and his date. Talk to men without hats."

This is the conclusion I've come to. I prefer not to offend folks and don't bother with men whose profiles are monopolized by hat photos. My son's father is bald and it suits him. He now shaves his horse shoe, but I actually prefer when his horse shoe has grown out a bit because he has shiny silver hair that looks....yes I'm going to say this...pretty (the hair, not him).

The thing with hats is it does alter how a person looks and a person can be hard to recognize without a hat.
 ThatGirlNamedAlli
Joined: 12/28/2013
Msg: 5
What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/3/2016 8:45:26 AM
POF forums need "like" buttons. What hemmingway said. Halftime's idea works too.

I agree^, hats really do change a face. I love my hats, but I love my hair too. It's a dilemma some days. To hat or not to hat.
 CarefreeBeauty
Joined: 5/30/2014
Msg: 6
What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/3/2016 9:06:16 AM
This question might be akin to asking a woman for a photo of her face without the 'smoky eye, heavy make-up' look. In a way it's part of their persona, just like a bald man's hat/cap is--- Still it's nice to know what they 'really' look like~

I love to wear hats, too. And I also love my thick curly hair~

Wearing a hat is not always about hiding a less than stellar feature<
 Robyn143
Joined: 7/19/2016
Msg: 7
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What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/3/2016 9:14:48 AM
This question might be akin to asking a woman for a photo of her face without the 'smoky eye, heavy make-up' look. In a way it's part of their persona, just like a bald man's hat/cap is--- Still it's nice to know what they 'really' look like~ Not really, its rude to walk around indoors with a hat on, or go to a restaurant with a hat on..maybe because I am prior military, but NO..you need to uncover when you go indoors..NOT the same as makeup
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 8
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What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/3/2016 9:21:48 AM
I would just meet him. I'm not that afraid of what I might see when he takes the head off. How bad can it be? But then, I'm married to a bald guy.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 9
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What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/3/2016 11:24:42 AM
To hat or not to hat-that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The slings and arrows of hairless fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of hats,

And, by opposing, get sunburned. To lie, to sleep-
No more-and by a sleep we mean sex

The heartache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is hair to-'tis a consummation
 BHinFL
Joined: 4/26/2016
Msg: 10
What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/3/2016 11:40:37 AM
What is this male pattern baldness you speak of? Never heard of it! ;) I was born this way! haha

If he's wearing a hat then he hasn't fully accepted his balding appearance - or he's hiding the mark of the devil. If you think he's worth pursuing then give him a little encouragement and suggest you would like to know how much better he looks under his hat(s). If he doesn't want to show you what he looks like then you might be better off moving on.
 green0eye0girl
Joined: 7/21/2016
Msg: 12
What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/3/2016 1:48:26 PM
I met a guy off here who had a hat on in his pics and when I saw him waiting outside the restaurant for me I wanted to keep on driving, not only was he bald, but bad bald, crusty the clown with a conehead bald, and he was only 30...smh
I've scrolled thru mens photos and some men are pretty cute with a hat on, when you get to the hat off pics not so much. Not every man can pull off the bald look, I like a full head of hair myself, those are hard to find :-(
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 13
What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/3/2016 1:54:32 PM
^^^^

"I like a full head of hair myself, those are hard to find "




I like a woman without a single ounce of fat on her but around my age those are hard to find.

Sucks to be so damn picky , eh ?
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 14
What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/3/2016 1:55:42 PM
ASk what's under the hat// simple. If every picture is him in a hat yea usually a fivehead.
It's the Dwight Yoakam most times
Some are quite skilled with the comb over
I too prefer the shave it look to the holding on to every last strand
And sure, if you are interested and want to meet the woman ask for a make up less pix if she wearing more cosmetics than the Joker
 StumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 15
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What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/3/2016 3:29:43 PM

What is the best approach in requesting a hatless photo?

Jeeze, that could be a tough one. Especially if it's a cowboy hat. Those guys are SERIOUS about keeping their hats on. So if that's what you're faced with, I think Halftime Dad has the only solution that might have a snowball's chance of working. Just go for it and see what happens.

If he's not a cowboy, is he wearing the same hat in all 6 photos? Same clothes too... like maybe they were all taken at the same time? If that's the case, he may not have thought to take it off. So that would make things easier on you. Just ask if he has any other photos, or ask him to exchange selfies with you while y'all are messaging back and forth. Something like that.

Or, at some point in the conversation, bring up the subject of photos and mention how sunglasses and hats and mardi gras costumes don't really help much when it comes to photos. Maybe he'll take the hint. If he doesn't, you may need to spell it out for him. Like "I want another photo and this time, lose the hat!". Some guys don't take hints or subtly very well.

Have you looked at his profile to see his hair color? Ok, never mind that. Just ask him what color his hair is. And no matter what his answer, just say "oh! I want to see!"

Ok, I'm running out of ideas. But it also depends on how important it is for you to see him without a hat. If the hat thing could be a deal killer but all else looks great, I dunno. You may have to just suck it up and go meet him. Hopefully, outdoors somewhere on a windy as hell day ;-)
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 16
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What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/3/2016 4:21:45 PM
I say ask straight out, and say why you are asking.

Being direct and honest, will either result in things going extra well between you, or it will result in your finding out very quickly that you aren't on the same page about such concerns and sensibilities.
 sleeps_in_mouse_pajamas
Joined: 6/26/2016
Msg: 17
What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/3/2016 5:08:18 PM
"I say ask straight out, and say why you are asking.
Being direct and honest, will either result in things going extra well between you, or it will result in your finding out very quickly that you aren't on the same page about such concerns and sensibilities."

When I've made hatless pic requests for recognition purposes, some men replied with, "Are you scared I don't have hair?". It's not about that for me, it's about seeing what they look like and being able to recognize them in person. A hat alters how a person looks---it really does as it covers a person's forehead and head shape.

This past weekend I went on a meet with a Portuguese man in his late twenties. He had a hat on in both of his profile photos and I didn't request a hatless photo. When I met him in person I barely recognized him. He had a funky hair style with the sides shaved and corn rows braided in the middle of his head which hung down a bit at the back. He was gorgeous. He actually looked 'better' than he did with his hat on in his profile and I was pleasantly surprised. So, wearing a hat doesn't do everyone justice.

@ Stumbled: Your post was hilarious. I normally see men wearing different clothing in each photo, but with the same hat. I've never seen a hatted man wear the same clothing in every photo...yet.
 Iredurbio2
Joined: 4/18/2013
Msg: 18
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What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/3/2016 5:51:55 PM
He's probably being low key.To much attention and well,
the wife might castrate him!
 green0eye0girl
Joined: 7/21/2016
Msg: 19
What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/3/2016 8:30:21 PM

I like a woman without a single ounce of fat on her but around my age those are hard to find.

Sucks to be so damn picky , eh ?


Wow did I hit a nerve there Chuck?

I can send you some Rogaine and you can starve me for a few decades and we can ride off into the sunset :-D
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 20
What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/3/2016 8:55:19 PM
I used to have on my profile, "Tell me if you have a job, and I'll tell you if I'm fat. The same might work with the hair thing. Everything is a trade-off, really.
 Blue_Highway
Joined: 5/11/2016
Msg: 21
What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/3/2016 9:00:09 PM
How do I get women to take off their sunglasses they have in every pic?....Just ask
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 22
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What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/4/2016 10:48:55 AM
Asking for a hatless pic is pretty low on any real-life priority list. I'd put in on the same level of relevance as a bra-less pic for a woman. It's a very shallow detail that focuses pretty much on appearance, and nothing else. Women and Men who screen out people based specifically on minor details like that usually have major insecurity issues of their own. Besides, a first date or meet would tell you the same thing in about ten seconds, if you would have the courage to challenge yourself to actually DARE to possibly meet a guy with thinning hair. We'd all like to see profiles with better photos, but most of us are not professional photographers or models who know somebody. You get what you get.

I would think in a phone conversation, you could be spontaneous and send someone a spur-of-the-moment 'selfie' pic and challenge them to send one in return - that way, it's tit-for-tat and you've already proven you're not a lurker judging from the shadows. Demanding things online without reciprocation sounds very selfish, so do it sparingly.
 green0eye0girl
Joined: 7/21/2016
Msg: 23
What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/4/2016 2:39:14 PM

I'd put in on the same level of relevance as a bra-less pic for a woman.


Are you serious....hatless and braless are far from the same.


Women and Men who screen out people based specifically on minor details


Hair is a minor detail...because I would bet you if I took a couple pics with all my hair stuffed in a hat I wouldn't get one message.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 24
What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/4/2016 4:55:20 PM

I'd put in on the same level of relevance as a bra-less pic for a woman.


Haha! I hate those push-up hats.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 25
What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/4/2016 5:17:14 PM
No way is it the same level of relevance.
Some of the hats do look push up, their head has grown and you can bet the farm they get that forehead ridge
I don't care if his hair is thinning
I do care if he is as dumb as a sack of dead kittens ...
which some alas are
Bra less pictures HAHAHAHA
Actually some men could stand to wear a bra
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 26
What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/4/2016 7:38:26 PM
The anti stupid prejudice in this country is really hard on some of us. Oh sure, to your face they're all nicey nice. But I hear you talking. Do these comments sound familiar? "My sister is dating one. We're all terrified they'll have children together.". Or, "Can you imagine working for one? - I did work for one, it was horrible."

I think I should move to America. After all eight years before they elected their first black President.... And it seems like many there want another stupid President.
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