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 Lightskinwarrior54
Joined: 7/7/2016
Msg: 1
QuestionPage 1 of 1    
I'm finding it hard to relate to women when I'm on a date, in the past 2 years I've been on and off this website and I must have had a good 15-20 dates but the common thing I've been getting is either ignored or "I didn't feel a connection" My hobbies include working out, video games, cooking, and enjoying nature, I feel like none of them would interest women, also I'm an introvert but a great listener any advice as to what could be happening?
 VikingHoosier
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 2
Question
Posted: 8/3/2016 6:47:26 PM
Perhaps you're not trying anything on the dates. Luck favors the bold. You're not trying to kiss or any other contact? Sometimes when they say they didn't feel a connection, it's sour grapes because they feel rejected you didn't try anything.

Maybe you're being too much of a nice guy.

"Good listener" = enabler, friend zone.

You're probably right about video games. Working out is a mixed bag. Bodybuilding while admiring oneself in the mirror is douchey. Cooking you can keep secret. Nature is rarely an interest for women on online sites; they tend to prefer the bar scene. Not drinking is rare for most Western women.
 Lightskinwarrior54
Joined: 7/7/2016
Msg: 3
Question
Posted: 8/3/2016 7:18:51 PM
I make out with girls on almost every date, but very rarely do get a second one.
I guess you might be right about the bar scene, I personally don't drink though so I wouldn't find a connection that way
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 4
Question
Posted: 8/3/2016 7:27:56 PM

Nature is rarely an interest for women on online sites;


Seriously?

Here in Southern California, I constantly come across profiles of women listing hiking as an interest, accompanied by photos of themselves out on hikes in the local mountains and deserts.
I just came across one woman's profile with the headline " I am a person who loves the outdoors".


I'm finding it hard to relate to women when I'm on a date


I must have had a good 15-20 dates but the common thing I've been getting is either ignored or "I didn't feel a connection"


any advice as to what could be happening?


You enjoy the "chase" of getting the dates, but don't enjoy being on the dates as much?
 Mz_Dressup
Joined: 11/15/2014
Msg: 5
Question
Posted: 8/3/2016 7:33:10 PM
I dunno. Perhaps your "make out" technique isn't up to snuff.
 Lightskinwarrior54
Joined: 7/7/2016
Msg: 6
Question
Posted: 8/3/2016 8:57:57 PM
I don't really chase women much, things just fizzle out after one date and I'm constantly forced to move on.
For example my last date, we talked for about half an hour, things seemed to be going well she was giving full eye contact, running her fingers through her hair, asking me open ended questions etc. We went to see a movie after our conversation and said our goodbyes and kissed, then next day I get a message from her saying I didn't feel we connected well, I was actually pretty shocked because on my end I was thinking the exact opposite
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 7
view profile
History
Question
Posted: 8/3/2016 11:31:44 PM

Sometimes when they say they didn't feel a connection, it's sour grapes because they feel rejected you didn't try anything.

I agree with the spirit of this statement. Why are you trying to get a date? You want to get laid. You want companionship. You want to change your dreary life. The way to change it is to CHANGE it - that means you need to GO FOR IT when you're on a date. Your experience is that you seldom get a second chance - so what have you got to lose?

You want to live a different lifestyle, then you need to do that on the FIRST DATE, not 10 dates or 3 months down the line. As they say, "leave it all out on the field". If you're just going to tip-top around every date, why should she call you back? Another boring guy who didn't do sh!t.

The formula for life success also applies to dating:
- Who must I BE? ( Be THAT guy that's interesting)
- What must I DO? ( Do Something, Anything!)
- So that I may HAVE? ( Get the girl)
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 8
Question
Posted: 8/5/2016 9:19:04 AM
For starters, a picture might help.
 BHinFL
Joined: 4/26/2016
Msg: 9
Question
Posted: 8/5/2016 11:59:15 AM

For starters, a picture might help.


Don't let FullMoonGuy see this!
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 10
Question
Posted: 8/5/2016 12:35:45 PM

For starters, a picture might help.


Don't let FullMoonGuy see this!


Too late.


For starters, a picture might help.


He already got the dates.
How is a picture going to help him make the date turn out better?
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 11
Question
Posted: 8/5/2016 1:10:47 PM
It's the nature of OLD. I think most first dates / meetings don't lead to a relationship or even a second date. Many people have high expectations here. They want instant chemistry. Otherwise they quickly lose interest. And/or they also have the "grass is greener" attitude. Plus even when a date goes well people can change their minds due to a variety of reasons.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 12
Question
Posted: 8/6/2016 4:00:05 AM
I think the common interest thing is over rated.

If they found you physically attractive, they probably wouldn't care much about your video game collection.

You're either shooting out of your league or giving off a creep vibe.
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