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 user555555
Joined: 8/11/2015
Msg: 1
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Over the last month I reconnected with a woman that I briefly dated last year. Earlier today we were chatting online and we were talking about issues with ex's. Both of us have a child (I have one and she has one) and both of us recently had to talk with a lawyer because our ex's were being difficult. I have had more experience dealing with the court system, as my sons mother tried to shut me out of my sons life, but thankfully she failed.

The girl I have been seeing (again) recently hired a lawyer because her ex was being difficult. She is hoping that it wont go to court but who knows. He isnt trying to gain full custody of her child so I dont think it will be a custody battle that goes to court. While we were talking about this, I ask her who her attorney was...........and it turns out its the same one that represents my sons mother.

I havent told the woman im seeing about this yet, not sure how to break it to her. Do I have to end this?
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 2
Lawyers
Posted: 8/15/2016 11:02:38 AM
ask the lawyer, he'll know the laws in your state the best.
 Cdan1957
Joined: 9/17/2013
Msg: 3
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Posted: 8/15/2016 11:50:04 AM
Not really an issue. Attorneys represent the clients that retain them. In your case he represented your ex, in this case he represents your friend. This is totally unrelated. Your friend, for what ever reason decided to hire this attorney. The only problem this may cause is if you decide to voice your opinion on this attorney's abilities based on your experience. Your friend may take offense if you criticize her choice of representation and believe it is more out of dislike than objective criticism. I would think that as long as you keep your opinions to yourself that it would not be a problem.
 Llookingformynextmistake
Joined: 5/29/2016
Msg: 4
Lawyers
Posted: 8/15/2016 11:56:26 AM

Over the last month I reconnected with a woman that I briefly dated last year. Earlier today we were chatting online and we were talking about issues with ex's. Both of us have a child (I have one and she has one) and both of us recently had to talk with a lawyer because our ex's were being difficult. I have had more experience dealing with the court system, as my sons mother tried to shut me out of my sons life, but thankfully she failed.


Notice it is always the [italics] other [/italics] parent being difficult? (Sorry OP, couldn't resist).

Seriously, my ex and I shared an attorney when we did our divorce and child plan. Then again, we didn't have difficult partners.

LePew
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 5
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Posted: 8/15/2016 1:18:28 PM
What exactly do you have to break to her? Two people you know are using the same lawyer, big deal.

Any good courtroom Lawyer will tell you "Don't ask a question, unless you already know the answer"
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 6
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Posted: 8/15/2016 6:11:04 PM
I would mention it to her as an amusing irony. Mainly because you noticed it, and it seems to matter to you somehow.

There is a chance that because you have some mental association of that lawyer with your negative experiences with your ex, that you might display otherwise mysterious animosities when she happens to mention the progress of her own case.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 7
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Posted: 8/15/2016 7:53:02 PM
Keep your lip zipped. If she knows she'll be tempted to ask her lawyer details about your case. This will cause tension and she may fire him to avoid tension and temptation. SHE WILL BLAME YOU FOR FIRING HER LAWYER. Then she will sue you for interfering in her legal business.

Shut Your Mouth.
 junipermoon
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 8
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Posted: 8/16/2016 7:50:53 PM
there could be a conflict. she should mention it to her attorney and let her/him decide if it warrants withdrawal of services. and she should ask for a recommendation of an unbiased family law attorney.
it's the sort of thing that could bite her in the ass years from now. better safe.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 9
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Posted: 8/16/2016 9:29:41 PM
You have reconnected with a woman using the same attorney as you? What is the big deal? You are not even in a relationship as yet, are you?
 call_me_tater
Joined: 12/30/2014
Msg: 10
Lawyers
Posted: 8/18/2016 10:48:38 AM
^^^^^Displaying the inability to read and/or process information yet again.
SMH.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 11
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Posted: 8/18/2016 11:34:39 AM
I don't see the problem, and what most people would do is say, oh, that's my exes lawyer. Why lie about it?

This is how people come off as sneaky or trying to deceive, you should have just said something right then. Now's it...why didn't you, what were you hiding, etc. And her having the same attorney as your ex shouldn't be a problem between you two at all, she should tell the lawyer though to see if it's a problem for him.
 treber2
Joined: 7/15/2016
Msg: 12
Lawyers
Posted: 8/18/2016 3:13:26 PM

there could be a conflict


I'm wondering how people think here. On what possible basis could there be a conflict? Just wondering why you think so?
 AnEvilGenius1
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 13
Lawyers
Posted: 8/18/2016 7:44:37 PM
I'm so lost as to why this is an issue in any way shape or form.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 16
Lawyers
Posted: 8/19/2016 7:06:17 AM
The only problem is, you get to hear about your ex's divorce lawyer - da devil - twice as much.
 Cdan1957
Joined: 9/17/2013
Msg: 17
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Posted: 8/19/2016 8:28:24 AM

I'm wondering how people think here. On what possible basis could there be a conflict? Just wondering why you think so?


There isn't a conflict. The only possible problem is if the OP hates the lawyer so much that the thought of her using him as her attorney pisses him off and causes an argument. In reality her divorce is none of his business and there is absolutely no need to even mention and probably shouldn't mention the coincidence.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 18
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Posted: 8/20/2016 11:29:46 AM
Legally, anyway, there is no conflict of interest as far as the attorney is concerned. I wouldn't either mention it or not mention it, unless and until it comes up in conversation. I don't think it should be an issue unless either one of you makes it one. Using the same attorney is like using the same plumber, so what it's just a professional service.
 junipermoon
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 19
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Posted: 8/21/2016 9:11:46 AM

I'm wondering how people think here. On what possible basis could there be a conflict? Just wondering why you think so


any time an attorney represents individuals with a connection, regardless how tenuous, opposing counsel could identify the connection as a conflict. it may never come to it, but the attorney should know about the relationship, just in case.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 20
Lawyers
Posted: 8/21/2016 9:41:02 AM
OP: Do you feel it would be a conflict if this woman you're seeing and your ex happen to shop at the same grocery store, go to the same salon, go to the same doctor or dentist, etc? Her court dealings have nothing to do with you, so I'm wondering why you feel you might have to break it off because of her choice of lawyer.
 StumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 21
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Posted: 8/21/2016 3:37:07 PM

not sure how to break it to her. Do I have to end this?

I wouldn't think so. At least not because of the lawyers. But everyone's experiences in life is different and yours isn't the same as anyone here in this forum.
For example, my lawyer and my ex wife's lawyer were one in the same lawyer. A long time mutual friend. He just told us to go sort it out and let him know what we decided. Then he'd take care of the technical end.
Come to think of it, that's almost exactly what the minister that married us said.
Anyhow, I don't think it's something you need to hide from your girlfriend. Just tell her about it. I'm like some others upthread. I don't see a problem with it.
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