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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Views on sex toys and place that sell them as a mature (experienced!?      Home login  
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 zonavar68
Joined: 8/16/2015
Msg: 1
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Views on sex toys and place that sell them as a mature (experienced!?) personPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
What do you think about sex toys, and what do you think about places that sell them? Do you ever go into those sort of shops? Given that we're all mature people in this forum, have your views about them (the toys or places selling them) changed much or any over the years that you've known such things existed and of the places that sell them?

I personally don't have a problem with some of the sex toy concept, and don't have any issue with places that sell them (as it's just another legitimate business). I've never been into one of them though, and don't really know anyone who has (or who would admit to it).

None of the women I've been intimate with have let on that they have any sex toys (sometimes I've been bold enough to ask!), but apparently it's quite common. I guess as I'm not a woman myself, and sex toys are by and large aimed at women, it's something a lot of women could be into but keep very private, and there would be a subset who are very open about it and actually want to include the use of toys in adult play.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 2
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Views on sex toys and place that sell them as a mature (experienced!?) person
Posted: 8/19/2016 5:27:54 AM
We do have a forum for sex and sexuality, it's probably better there.

https://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingForum8.aspx


Given that we're all mature people in this forum, have your views about them (the toys or places selling them) changed much or any over the years that you've known such things existed and of the places that sell them?


I expect a lot of immature and inexperienced are even more into toys.

I don't think it's actually quite common, people might experiment a few times then lose interest in toys, only maybe 10-20% at a guess use them on a regular basis. I base this on how few active business I see stay in business and personal experience.

ymmv
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 3
Views on sex toys and place that sell them as a mature (experienced!?) person
Posted: 8/19/2016 6:23:22 AM
Anything that makes your job easier is a plus :)
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 4
Views on sex toys and place that sell them as a mature (experienced!?) person
Posted: 8/19/2016 9:32:49 AM
^ Right? Sex is such a chore.
 BeckyHT
Joined: 1/1/2013
Msg: 5
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Views on sex toys and place that sell them as a mature (experienced!?) person
Posted: 8/19/2016 10:11:07 AM
I guess relationships learn about them over time. At my age, who doesn't know about them?
 scaramanga2
Joined: 8/13/2016
Msg: 6
Views on sex toys and place that sell them as a mature (experienced!?) person
Posted: 8/19/2016 10:16:12 AM
Who doesn't know about BOB...Battery Operated Boyfriend??

A healthy person has a healthy view on sex and sex toys. I don't know if I'd appreciate some guy on date #3 asking about my BOB collection or if I have one, use one, need one. There is a line where I would say "NOYB".
 Robyn143
Joined: 7/19/2016
Msg: 7
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Views on sex toys and place that sell them as a mature (experienced!?) person
Posted: 8/19/2016 11:43:39 AM
The mere fact that you posted this proves you are neither mature nor experienced..wow..so..is that your pick up line? Do you use tissues and lube to jack off? What kind and what brand? see what I did there? yeah, none of your damn business about other people's private sex lives
 ndm147
Joined: 8/1/2013
Msg: 8
Views on sex toys and place that sell them as a mature (experienced!?) person
Posted: 8/19/2016 11:45:38 AM
I have a collection of them to include garter belts and fish net stockings. But when I was growing up as a preteen, fish nets and garter belts were what we wore before panty hose were more available.

I have been to a rather tasteful adult store in my area. Went with a male friend and had a blast. Some of the stuff is down right overpriced and stupid, while other stuff seems useful.

Bridesmaids oftentimes shop at these adult plex stores for fun outfits/toys for the bride to be. If you have a sense of humor it is fun!
Views on sex toys and place that sell them as a mature (experienced!?) person
Posted: 8/19/2016 4:38:29 PM
If it doesn't say Tonka I'm not playing with it!
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 10
Views on sex toys and place that sell them as a mature (experienced!?) person
Posted: 8/19/2016 5:40:33 PM
I have a really funny story about my first and only time in a sex shop
I mean, embrarassing funny to me
oh heck, this will be deleted soon but.
My old gay bestie and I go touring, to a small place about 2 hours away. Walking around I see some pretty lingerie in a window, go and look closer... sex shop
Never stepped foot in one, he encourages me. They have walls and walls of shame, he is in his element. Pointing out all the hmm, merch
I just wanna try on the bra and get out. Half way into trying it, I start thinking prolly have hidden cameras, so I don't. Meanwhile he is talking a blue streak to the Goth girl working there.
I flee outside, he wouldn't shut up
A half block away I go " weird small towns they were selling wine stoppers"
Him
" butt plugs"
I lose it so badly I am screaming on the sidewalk , what if I had bought them for a housewarming gift?
HAHAHA here, enjoy the new place :)
I laughed so hard I had to sit on the curb, crying and clapping like a seal
HAHA at me
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 11
Views on sex toys and place that sell them as a mature (experienced!?) person
Posted: 8/19/2016 5:42:10 PM
Well, my toys don't need batteries and my hands smell terrific.

At least mine are eco friendly...
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 12
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Views on sex toys and place that sell them as a mature (experienced!?) person
Posted: 8/19/2016 8:38:29 PM

^ Right? Sex is such a chore.

Getting a massage is no chore for the client, who lays and only has to say when it's uncomfortable. What about the massuesse, who has to bend, twist, lift, roll, tuck, rub, and grind for up to an hour...? Is that a low-impact workout?

SEX can very much be a workout for men who have to lift legs, prop half a body, hold a woman in the air, or at least keep her from falling off a bed or a couch. Yes, a chore.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 13
Views on sex toys and place that sell them as a mature (experienced!?) person
Posted: 8/20/2016 6:52:14 AM
Something tells me we're not talkin' about Toys-R-Us here.
 deetristate
Joined: 12/4/2014
Msg: 14
Views on sex toys and place that sell them as a mature (experienced!?) person
Posted: 8/20/2016 7:54:19 AM
People can sell them.People can buy them.
People do buy them.

No interest.

No one should need them.

People buy a lot of things that they don't need.

===============================


You are just weird, person below.

I wouldn't trust being alone with you. LOL!
 sweetnessandright
Joined: 7/9/2016
Msg: 15
Views on sex toys and place that sell them as a mature (experienced!?) person
Posted: 8/20/2016 8:01:26 AM
^^^ Good to see a woman who masturbates the old fashioned way, without toys and without batteries filling up the landfill with their toxins.
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 16
Views on sex toys and place that sell them as a mature (experienced!?) person
Posted: 8/20/2016 8:38:23 AM

We do have a forum for sex and sexuality, it's probably better there.

One reason some people don't post in the sex forum is because not everyone even knows it exists. Not everyone has the sex forum as an option at the main menu. I don't. Not sure what the deal is with POF's algorithm because I DID have it as an option a loooooong time ago and then it disappeared. Thanks for the link.



people might experiment a few times then lose interest in toys,

I sort of agree with this. My ex-husband loved all sorts of 'extras' like toys, lingerie, locations, scenarios, sensations so I've tried a lot of things and made an 'informed' decision which I like and don't like. So declining purchase/use of toys wasn't losing interest so much as refining interest.



only maybe 10-20% at a guess use them on a regular basis.

I sort of agree with this also depending upon what sample set you're talking about. First, there's classifying users as capable of un-augmented function. My guess is single folks have the highest % of use because BOB or Fleshlight is a (hopefully) temporary replacement for a living, breathing, human sex partner. But of couples who engage in intimate relations, my guess is closer to half use toys but very infrequently. Of couples who engage in intimate relations, I'd agree it's very low % where a toy is used regularly.

That said, a number of items classified as sex "toys" are not strictly for 'play'. You'll never see it on a package label but a lot of 'toys' have a serious beneficial use also. Anyone who has been in a committed intimate relationship with a partner with limited sexual function knows which 'toys' replace or assist the ability to have sexual relations at all. More people are going to learn this as the population ages, as well as with the increase of sexually damaging illnesses such as MS. Maybe some day a dildo will come in non-lurid packaging.



I base this on how few active business I see stay in business and personal experience.

I know the owner of the Seattle 'toy' delivery business. No brick and mortar storefront. Buy online and select a 1 or 2 hour delivery window and the package arrives in plain brown wrapper. They often deliver faster than pizza. Given how Amazon has trained people to expect instant gratification, this guy's business model may be the only way to stay profitable in that business.

Of course there are folks who believe any/all 'toys' are unnecessary or just plain skeezy so no argument is ever going to reach them. That's their right.
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 17
Views on sex toys and place that sell them as a mature (experienced!?) person
Posted: 8/20/2016 9:12:04 AM

What do you think about sex toys, and what do you think about places that sell them? Do you ever go into those sort of shops? Given that we're all mature people in this forum, have your views about them (the toys or places selling them) changed much or any over the years that you've known such things existed and of the places that sell them?

I've been into a number of 'toy' stores but they've all been in relatively middle/upper class areas so they're not too icky. But I don't like them anyway. It's not the products per se, it's not even having to ask for information on a product (the sales people were very knowledgeable and easy to talk with), it's doing it in the presence of watchers. Not that I think the other shoppers are voyeurs, only that I don't care for strangers to know what I keep in my nightstand.

If I want to purchase any toy in the future I will do so through the Discrete Delivery site and have it delivered rather than go to a store.


sex toys are by and large aimed at women

I must misunderstand what you mean because sex toys are 'by and large' aimed at men. It's not even close. Men buy the most 'toys' and use the most toys. The only category where women and men may have relative even purchase or use rate is in dildo.


None of the women I've been intimate with have let on that they have any sex toys

It takes a level of trust with my partner before I'll bring out the toys. Given that my husband liked toys and we were together more than 20 years, I formed an assumption that they were common. Boy did I receive a rude awakening. It's sort of awkward to broach the subject the first time so I tried to make it a little more interesting by buying 3 small wooden boxes and putting different items into each box. Nothing raunchy, unusual, or painful. When I've been with a partner long enough to think he'll like to try it, I offer - Do you want to try what's in box 1, 2, or 3? Results are mixed.


without toys and without batteries filling up the landfill with their toxins.

Not very delicately worded but a very valid point. I don't want to take the time to find the links but have read studies that find battery-operated toys can decrease sensitivity and, therefore, negatively impact non-toy sexual relations. Much like drug addicts become desensitized and need greater dose; vibrating dildo or vibrating****rings can desensitize the user's anatomy such that it becomes more difficult (or impossible) to reach orgasm without the vibration.

Then there's the toxic materials in most of the plastic toys and batteries. If one is going to put foreign material into a place with that direct a line to the blood and nervous system, then avoid plastics of any kind.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 18
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Views on sex toys and place that sell them as a mature (experienced!?) person
Posted: 8/20/2016 9:51:43 AM
Short answers to the opening post:
Yes, I've been in a few "sex shops." No, I've never bought a "sex toy" (not an official one at least...I do buy vegetables, and as we all know...).

I am glad that the society I grew up in has made SOME progress towards being able to deal with sexuality open,y and honestly, but I'm sorry to say that it's still got a VERY VERY long way to go.

My own life was irretrievably damaged and distorted to my detriment, by having been born during a time of tremendous censorship, and dreadful persecution of the majority by a small cluster of anti-sexuality adherents. That censorship resulted in my having entirely false understandings of human behavior and of sexuality in general, and that resulted in my not only missing out on a tremendous amount of pleasure, but caused me no end of personal embarrassment, genuine danger, and handicapped social relationships for most of my early life.
So the fact that SOME progress has been made, is a good thing.

Unfortunately, sexuality has been so politicized now, and has been purposely and dishonestly intertwined with unrelated political goals, that society has actually become worse than it was when I was younger.

The fact that "Sex Shops" are still painted funny colors, and that people are still wary of being seen walking into them, shows how far we HAVEN'T come, in the over half-century since the walls of censorship began to crumble.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 19
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Views on sex toys and place that sell them as a mature (experienced!?) person
Posted: 8/20/2016 10:09:37 AM

I guess relationships learn about them over time. At my age, who doesn't know about them?


I was a young kinkster. Having read Story of O and The Way Of A Man With A Maid in high school, which are erotic sadomasochistic novels, and having a very active imagination, I knew about sex "toys" way before I even started dating.

I even experimented in the 1980s with creating my own custom electric shock device using a ring generator, today known as a violet wand, but I was a little concerned with heart attacks, nerve damage and desensitization, so I never put it into use.

I used to feel a little special, but now with internet it's all pretty mainstream.

Now days it's more of a rare occasional use sort of thing, and there isn't any real reason to visit an adult store. I have only been in one 3-4 times, and it's often cheaper over the Internet. But I have over $1,000 in "toys", so at times my interest was more avid.

For the more involved, there is special furniture,.I wouldn't really call that a toy.

Maybe I could have a garage sale?
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 20
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Views on sex toys and place that sell them as a mature (experienced!?) person
Posted: 8/20/2016 1:20:10 PM
CynthiaSM your comments here are very well spoken and I agree with the picture you paint.
I had a gf who wanted to try toys and we went to a number of shops. I've seen suburban shops that seem to never go out of business. The old-style video/toy shops behind the windowless doors are what many people may imagine, and I think those are disappearing over the years.

My gf liked toys and soon bought a number of different items - but she didn't really have favorites, she just wanted to try stuff, and grew bored with each one very quickly. Also sometimes they broke - oh, well! I agree that most of the actual toys are for women or made to be used on women. Until the Fleshlight came out, toys for men looked worthless - nothing is nearly as good as your hand, so why buy a toy....???

Costumes and S/M equipment are a different story.
 Cowgirlwannabe1
Joined: 8/21/2015
Msg: 21
Views on sex toys and place that sell them as a mature (experienced!?) person
Posted: 8/21/2016 5:37:17 AM
"The mere fact that you posted this proves you are neither mature nor experienced..wow..so..is that your pick up line? Do you use tissues and lube to jack off? What kind and what brand? see what I did there? yeah, none of your damn business about other people's private sex lives"

never been in a sex shop
does not own any sex toys
has asked women he has dated if they have any


sounds like OP is fishing for womenz with toys
 ArkansasVirgo
Joined: 6/16/2014
Msg: 22
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Views on sex toys and place that sell them as a mature (experienced!?) person
Posted: 8/21/2016 5:42:08 AM
One sex toy, that can and does pleasure both is the vibrating****ring, and you can them with little rabbit ears on them too! :)
 _babblefish
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 23
Views on sex toys and place that sell them as a mature (experienced!?) person
Posted: 8/21/2016 8:18:27 AM

Something tells me we're not talkin' about Toys-R-Us here.


maybe 'womyns ware' but probably not toysRus unless someone sees an action figure as something else . .

the bulk of my past shopping was always more successful in leather/tack shops and hardware stores


one could never own enough rope
 CarefreeBeauty
Joined: 5/30/2014
Msg: 24
Views on sex toys and place that sell them as a mature (experienced!?) person
Posted: 8/21/2016 9:08:21 AM
Several years ago, I was out of town for a work seminar. The venue was in an old 'downtown 'area of a larger city, where there were still some shops, hotels, restaurants, bars and such. I decided to wander around a little bit, stretch my legs. A summer art fair was going on in the next block over. I could hear reggae music and laughter wafting on the air.

When I stopped to listen and look around I saw a sex toy shop across the street, and as I was alone and feeling anonymous as well as adventurous, I popped in.

The place was clean and well lit. Nicely merchandised displays. A bored looking young woman was perched on a stool reading a book at the checkout counter. She and I were the only ones in the store. I gazed around to get my bearings, knowing I did not have much time to browse. In less than an hour I had to be in Ballroom #2 for 'Public Libraries:Obsolete or Cutting Edge?'

I wandered by displays of various types of paraphernalia for various type of sexual activities till I finally spotted something I was already familiar with--BOBs---a whole wall display of vibrators of various kinds. Battery operated, corded, probably some solar powered, IDK hahaha---anyway, I really just wanted to buy a basic BOB. Time was running out. I had heard about something called a 'Rabbit' and there in front of me were a bunch of them.

My heart was racing a bit by now. I didn't want to leave the store without buying ANYTHING (chicken!!!)...so I grabbed a Rabbit blister pack off its hook and headed for the checkout. Made the transaction. Paid in cash. Left the store. Hurried back to my hotel room. Stowed the thing in my suitcase. Was in my seat in Ballroom #2 for opening remarks~

When I got home the next night I wrestled the thing open, read the 'directions' and realized I had bought a 'Couples Rabbit'---(who would know the difference, they all look rather vaguely alike)

At the time I was not with anyone 'special enough' to use it with, and have not found anyone since, special enough, so the thing has remained woefully underutilized in my bedside drawer. hahahaha

Maybe someday~
 StumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 25
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Views on sex toys and place that sell them as a mature (experienced!?) person
Posted: 8/21/2016 9:52:36 AM

I don't think it's actually quite common, people might experiment a few times then lose interest in toys, only maybe 10-20% at a guess use them

My experience has been a lot different. In the last +/- 20 years, I've been in 3 LTR's and 2 STR's with women who all (100%) had toys and enjoyed using them. Some more than others. I like keeping my partner happy and the toys made it pretty easy for me. Fun too :-)



reason some people don't post in the sex forum is because not everyone even knows it exists. Not everyone has the sex forum as an option at the main menu.

Most people don't even know any of the Forums exist. At least not the ones who have joined since the Forum button was removed from the dating side.
I read the forums most often without signing in, so I knew, that way, the sex forum doesn't show up on the list. But once I'm signed in, it always shows up near the top of the list. Soooo... it doesn't work that way for everybody?


sex toys are 'by and large' aimed at men. It's not even close. Men buy the most 'toys' and use the most toys. The only category where women and men may have relative even purchase or use rate is in dildo.

You've completely lost me here with the "dildo" thing unless you're talking about gay guys. And I have no interest in how that works so my comments are only about hetero couples. But every sex store I've seen has been aimed at women with maybe a gay guy section. And granted, guys may buy most of the toys but the hetero guys are buying toys aimed at women for their girlfriends. She picks it out, and I buy it. At least that's the way it's always worked in my experience.


One sex toy, that can and does pleasure both is the vibrating****ring

Here's an example of what I'm saying. A vibrating ****ring alone doesn't do a thing for me. But it would drive my girlfriend absolutely wild. And it was the wild girlfriend part that would do it for me :-)
... not necessarily the ****ring.


We do have a forum for sex and sexuality, it's probably better there.

I absolutely agree. This whole thread belongs behind closed doors.
I can't believe I just blabbed all this right out here in the wide open.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Views on sex toys and place that sell them as a mature (experienced!?) person