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 Mr.CoolGuy36
Joined: 1/6/2013
Msg: 1
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Is online dating a great tool for finding true love or notPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
On POF I met many good people who could possible make a perfect wife in the future.The hurdles that I have ran into involves personal problems that these women are presently going through that will affect their relationships.It could be a recent break-up or their encounters with other guys with issues too. I now understand the name POF because you must have to keep fishing until you catch one.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 2
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Is online dating a great tool for finding true love or not
Posted: 8/22/2016 7:53:19 AM
I'm not sure what you are posting this for - do you have a question in your statement that you want a reply?

Your profile seems kind of vague and generic - like you want to appeal to anyone and everyone in here. Don't do that. You want one particular KIND of match - not just one match out of all of them. You should be saying what you REALLY like, what you are all about, what flaws and quirks you OWN without any reservation to what any generic gal may think reading it.

Your statement above, along with your profile tends to lean towards the idea that ANY woman you meet could (or should) be the next love of your life, except THEIR issues got in the way. Keep in mind, you too have issues of your own, and your attitude about finding THE ONE (and not anything else) is part of the reason why women stay away. Relationships need to build slowly over time - have some casual fun, and don't worry so much about locking down a wife from Date One.

Women don't need a reason to say 'No' - and in online dating, often you won't get an explanation. That's not always because it's 'their' fault or 'their' issues - you might have done or said something monumentally stupid. The context of what you say in here, and the context of how your words are read on the other side are very RARELY on the same page. If you can't look at yourself and your own online behavior through someone else's eyes, you probably won't even find a fault with what you do, so a little self-examination may be needed first before your next attempt. That's kind of why people go out with a 'wing' man - because they need an extra set of eyes and ears to catch mistakes and keep you from digging a deeper grave.
 Robyn143
Joined: 7/19/2016
Msg: 3
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Is online dating a great tool for finding true love or not
Posted: 8/22/2016 11:20:20 AM
It is just another avenue to meet people...nothing more..nothing less. Its not online shopping where you can find something you like and then check out. There is no magic secret to it..and ALL women and men have some sort of personal problems or issues if they are over the age of 21, lol...life does that to you.
 swampyswampy
Joined: 12/13/2015
Msg: 4
Is online dating a great tool for finding true love or not
Posted: 10/9/2016 6:49:38 AM
ive had little luck myself but im sure plenty have
 ThatGirlNamedAlli
Joined: 12/28/2013
Msg: 5
Is online dating a great tool for finding true love or not
Posted: 10/14/2016 11:46:32 AM
I don't think so. It's kind of like applying to jobs via search, send in your cv, interview. sometimes you luck out, but many times its really ineffective. you find you don't like the position the more you learn about it, or they don't find you a good hire.

Opposed to networking, meeting people in the industry you're interested in/getting out to events, being social, meeting people out and about.

But we still apply right, because what's it hurting, nothing. Unless you're the overly sensitive type.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 6
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Is online dating a great tool for finding true love or not
Posted: 10/15/2016 11:58:52 PM
What a strange place to post this...single parents.
 perspektiv
Joined: 7/28/2016
Msg: 7
Is online dating a great tool for finding true love or not
Posted: 10/22/2016 12:57:14 PM
I think online dating, creates unrealistic expectations in people. I don't think its the venue, that is the problem. Kind of like trying to find love, in a seedy bar.

The bar isn't the issue. Its the drunken characters, and low life types that flock to it.

Online dating, is no different. Its like a candy store (with regards to POF). Tons of pictures to pick from, and just like going through a menu, you get to become as picky as you want to be. I think profiles focus on things that to me, are meaningless. I.E Whether you have a car or not, and the like.

Its kind of like online comments, against people. It gives many a sense of courage, they wouldn't have in real life. As a result, many use it as a means to get attention when heartbroken, as a means to get flings, and the like.

It can be pretty discrete, and just a means to get your rocks off.

Some are looking for something serious, and have to have patience, as you'll be dealing with desperate people, too lazy to fix their issues. Why do so, when you can find a quick fix, a click away?

Not bashing the venue. I'm just saying, that just like any dating venue like bars or dance clubs--you'll have to deal with a lot of duds, before you find a keeper.
 tizzabelle
Joined: 8/20/2010
Msg: 8
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Is online dating a great tool for finding true love or not
Posted: 10/23/2016 11:01:01 PM
It's just another place to go phishing for the one, I suppose it works for some people.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 9
Is online dating a great tool for finding true love or not
Posted: 10/24/2016 7:17:06 PM

Is online dating a great tool for finding true love or not


Not at the present time.

It's mostly just talk, talk, talk.
 perspektiv
Joined: 7/28/2016
Msg: 10
Is online dating a great tool for finding true love or not
Posted: 10/27/2016 3:07:11 PM

What a strange place to post this...single parents.


Single parents need love, too!
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 11
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Is online dating a great tool for finding true love or not
Posted: 10/27/2016 6:39:15 PM
^^^^^ Understood, but this is one of the low traffic area of the forums.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 12
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Is online dating a great tool for finding true love or not
Posted: 10/29/2016 1:32:54 PM
This site is NOT a good place to find a date period unless your looks truly say "male super model". The average person stands no chance otherwise. And from what I have read over the years, being a single parent is already another strike against you. And to continue the baseball reference, you already have 3 strikes against you before the woman even looks at your profile. Instead of trying to picture themselves with you or anything of the sort they are looking for reasons to click to the next profile. There is an insane imbalance of men to women ratio on the site and women rarely have to put any effort what so ever into their profiles if they are remotely attractive. Again you already have 3 strikes against you just for being male. Now some of you will try to refute my 3 strikes statement. Those strikes are; A) really really incredibly good looking guys B) guys with exceptionally nice modes of transportation in their pictures (motorcycles and expensive sports cars go a long ways) C) they make a ton more money than the average guy as is evidenced by their clothing. All of which are 100% in the pictures. What you say in your profile has almost no baring on the woman's actual decision to respond to your message. There are exceptions, but they are as rare as finding a unicorn.

Having a child could very likely be construed as; A) his money is going somewhere else B) would he give my child(ren) attention C) what time would he have for left me. I quite frequently find single mothers primary occupation listed as "stay at home mom" to put it simply. They find creative ways to say it, but they are all the same. And regardless of what they say, these unemployed mothers are looking for a free ride, albeit, an exceptionally good looking or financially well endowed free ride.

In short being a single parent on this site sucks unless you are good looking, rich, and can show success in your pictures. And that basically goes for any guy whether you got kids or not. If you manage to find a date and you are not any one or none of those 3 things, I call shenanigans on your claim and say "you're full of sh!t".
 SydneyChalkie
Joined: 1/8/2016
Msg: 13
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Is online dating a great tool for finding true love or not
Posted: 10/30/2016 4:28:11 AM
I disagree,

I'm almost totally relying on online dating to meet my next partner for several reasons:

1) I will be with my daughter a lot of the time and want to concentrate the time I have with her on her.
2) It could be awkward when you meet someone only for them to back out / off when they learn you are a parent.
3) You ask out a person you assume is a single parent and they are not.
4) I have limited time, online dating targets the audience I'm looking for.
5) The other party also knows what my situation is before they reply - saves embarrassment.

Cheers!
 joyann123
Joined: 8/19/2016
Msg: 14
Is online dating a great tool for finding true love or not
Posted: 11/7/2016 3:02:52 PM
Wow, so true! You just spoke my mind! Unrealistic expectations is an understatement.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 15
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Is online dating a great tool for finding true love or not
Posted: 11/9/2016 5:57:26 PM
I certainly don't have unrealistic expectations. Over the years I have only one expectation. An empty inbox. ABBRACADABRA!!!! It is magically empty every time I log in.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 16
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Is online dating a great tool for finding true love or not
Posted: 11/9/2016 11:55:00 PM
You have met a lot of possible partners you say. That is more than most. Online dating typically has a about 1-2% chance of success from what I hear. However it is a numbers game, so hang in there. Some people are here for years and some meet someone within a short time. Who can tell?'I would get rid of the pics where you look sad and keep the more appealing smiling shots.
You also say you are looking for friends. But you are really looking for love, right?

 NYCKOSI
Joined: 4/24/2015
Msg: 17
Is online dating a great tool for finding true love or not
Posted: 12/7/2016 5:37:04 PM
What difference does it makes if you find the right person online or an event? Does it change the person? You must be kidding
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 18
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Is online dating a great tool for finding true love or not
Posted: 4/29/2017 3:09:32 PM
it should be, because it allows you to find anyone who is the ideal of what you're looking for.

i think it's a good place for liars and manipulative people to pretend they are what you are looking for, without having to back that up.

it's a great place to be able to dispose someone easily also, and i feel this is why most people are using online means to find someone, and another one, and the next. i don't mean they should drop their standards but they're still looking for someone while they might actually have met their match but don't really care to invest in them.

idk, it kinda sucks. most men aren't looking for a relationship i feel.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 19
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Is online dating a great tool for finding true love or not
Posted: 6/2/2018 7:13:47 PM
The difference between my first post and this last one after some dating and online experience. :-o
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 20
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Is online dating a great tool for finding true love or not
Posted: 6/4/2018 1:18:17 PM
I think it can be a good tool, but as most have experienced, lots of people try to use this as a way to get over someone as opposed to trying to find a real relationship.

I think you need to stop dating all together for a logn time after splitting with a long term relationship before youre ready to start again and be serious.

I took 2 years off ( dated in between , but let it be known i wasnt looking for anything serious, just friends +)
It wasnt until a good 2 years later i decided i was ready for something real.

So far the current girl im with seems to be on the same page and had a similar experience. Was in a long term relationship and after it was single for a year and a half or so before trying online dating.

You need to look for people who have left all their baggage behind and arent just looking to forget someone or get back at someone.

All of which I have encountered on dating sites pretty often.
 Fated2B
Joined: 6/14/2018
Msg: 21
Is online dating a great tool for finding true love or not
Posted: 6/22/2018 6:09:28 PM
Some good points here, but....

Let's be frank? Most people are single for good reason. I've found that the vast majority of people carry around far too much baggage while simultaneously never learning from their mistakes. Haven't many of us dated the same destructive types over and over? So wouldn't online dating only expose us to even more of the same bad matches?

Then again, if your job doesn't afford you the chance to even talk to the opposite sex it's certainly going to be better than nothing I guess.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 22
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Is online dating a great tool for finding true love or not
Posted: 6/30/2018 7:44:46 AM
Additional way to find potential dates with people that you probably wouldn't in your normal routine? Yes.
Should OLD be your only or primary way to fin potential dates? No.

The increased amount of potential options is a double edged sword. The good thing is what I mentioned in the first sentence. The bad thing is many people increase their expectation level. They want their partner to exactly match a long list of requirements or they won't respond to your email.

If / when there is actually a first date / meeting, they want instant chemistry or they will quickly lose interest. Most of the time, there won't be instant chemistry. Often because 2 people are virtual strangers. Or at least 1 person can be a little bit nervous or shy at first.

Yes there are success stories. But I think that is a fairly low percentage. Even many people that had a LTR or marriage with someone from OLD had dozens or hundreds of first dates / meetings that went nowhere. And/or they had using OLD for multiple years before getting into a relationship.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 23
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Is online dating a great tool for finding true love or not
Posted: 6/30/2018 7:52:54 AM

I think you need to stop dating all together for a long time after splitting with a long term relationship before you're ready to start again and be serious.


I'm over 5 years into my break and I found myself again. I had a bad tendency to lose myself in relationships and I do not want to disrupt my contentment.
 sun_water
Joined: 5/26/2018
Msg: 24
Is online dating a great tool for finding true love or not
Posted: 6/30/2018 9:51:33 AM
Internet dating might work for some people. I prefer to date people the traditional ways. From mutual friends, social gatherings etc. Chances are some of my past relationships wouldn't have happened if we had to make a decision about each other based on a profile or a 3o minute coffee date. Sometimes there wasn't a solid connection between us until the second or third date.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 25
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Is online dating a great tool for finding true love or not
Posted: 6/30/2018 11:03:34 AM

I prefer to date people the traditional ways.


Then why did you ever sign up for a dating site?


Chances are some of my past relationships wouldn't have happened if we had to make a decision about each other based on a profile or a 3o minute coffee date. Sometimes there wasn't a solid connection between us until the second or third date.


Why do you HAVE to make a decision based on one 30 minute coffee date, just because you met online?

Is there a law against going on a 2nd or 3rd date with someone from online, just like someone from other real life methods?

I don't see why people think they have no control over their methods of meeting and dating online vs. real life.

Apply the same methods to both.
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