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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Rejection due to type of pet; Did I put my foot in my mouth?      Home login  
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 sleeps_in_mouse_pajamas
Joined: 6/26/2016
Msg: 1
Rejection due to type of pet; Did I put my foot in my mouth?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I normally don't let men know which type of pet I own because it's not important (so I thought) and normally first meets do not lead to a second. Lately I've revealed to three men after making arrangements to meet that I owns pet rats. Afterwards I was told, "I can't do rats--it was nice talking to you.", "Rats gross me out. I've tried to like them but can't.", etc.

Pet rats are not conventional companion animals and are misunderstood and misrepresented. The majority of people don't know they preen themselves like a cat, can be litter box trained, and have unique personalities like we do.

Did I put my foot in my mouth by revealing the type of animal I own? These three men were all physically attractive, the conversations went smoothly, and we were able to set a time to meet. Should potential dates know the types of pets we own before a meet is agreed upon?
 Mz_Dressup
Joined: 11/15/2014
Msg: 2
Rejection due to type of pet; Did I put my foot in my mouth?
Posted: 9/1/2016 8:19:10 PM
Any type of pet could be a deal-breaker for any one. Might as well let them know right off the bat so you're not wasting anyone's time.
 LittleDreamGirl
Joined: 4/27/2016
Msg: 3
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Rejection due to type of pet; Did I put my foot in my mouth?
Posted: 9/1/2016 9:19:50 PM
This is a tough one. I totally understand what you're saying. I am a huge animal lover and while I have never had pet rats myself I know people who have and they absolutely adored them. Rats are incredibly intelligent, affectionate, and not to mention totally adorable! So it's a real shame that people have these false notions about them without ever having taken the time to get to know them.

One approach you could take is to simply not mention that you have any pets at first. Now if the guy actually outright asks if you have any pets, well you could simply say yes, but not get into the specifics. If he presses to know what type of animal, you could simply say "well usually I like to just introduce people to them in person." If you sense that the guy likes you and you like him and have already been out a few times, you could even say "well maybe you could come over sometime and meet them for yourself." Sometimes when someone has a prejudice, that quickly evaporates when they get to meet the animal and see how cute he/ she is.

Again, I would avoid mentioning what type of animal for as long as possible, and only tell the guy if he really pushes to know. But otherwise, try and keep it a bit of a mystery if possible. And if it's a guy that you're really clicking with and he meets your little rats, he may be pleasantly surprised. I find it pathetic that a guy would rule out dating someone he's clicking with just because the person has rats.

So try one of the above approaches or just keep your fingers crossed that you can meet someone who has an open mind.

I can tell you one thing though...no man would ever come between me and my animals. Don't like or accept my cats and dog? Don't let the door hit you in the butt on the way out.
 Llookingformynextmistake
Joined: 5/29/2016
Msg: 4
Rejection due to type of pet; Did I put my foot in my mouth?
Posted: 9/1/2016 9:44:46 PM
Dear Mouse in PJ's and I love your new nick, then again my grand daughter's nick was mouse.

My Rodent of choice is an Opossum. Dear lord they are the best in comparison to a cat or maybe a rat. A few years ago when we had so much snow here in Ohio, I found one and fed it a can of tuna, this after I thought it dead and threw it over the fence with a shovel. It wasn't dead but playing Opossum. I found it huddled at my back door the next day. The best I can figure out is it was frozen out of it's shelter during the huge snow falls we had here.
I cut a hole in a rubbermade box and put a can of tuna inside. The Opossum stayed until spring. We both were cautious of each other but nun the less. that was my pet.

Sad news, I was on crutches and my ex husband came to clean up after my dogs. He found the opossum not playing Opossum. I was like.. he was playing opossum right? My ex was saying not it isn't a Monty Python joke. aka "he's not not dead, he's sleeping".

Ms Mouse in jammies... Keep your rats. They are so very smart.. unlike most of the prospective dates here. If they are ok with a dog and cat. They can deal with a rat.

Love your choice.

Le Pew
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 5
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Rejection due to type of pet; Did I put my foot in my mouth?
Posted: 9/1/2016 10:56:36 PM
why mention the rats until you have at least gone out a couple of times and are having the guys over. You can cage the rats whilst they are there. At least dont mention them until you have actually connected in the physical. If a guy finds you desirable enough he wont care about the pets at home. Certainly better than some 15 foot python for instance.
 LJane_6
Joined: 6/10/2015
Msg: 6
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Rejection due to type of pet; Did I put my foot in my mouth?
Posted: 9/2/2016 2:19:05 AM

Lately I've revealed to three men after making arrangements to meet that I owns pet rats. Afterwards I was told, "I can't do rats--it was nice talking to you.", "Rats gross me out. I've tried to like them but can't.", etc.


hahaha. One of my favorite posts ever.


Be proud of your rats!


👍 xD
 VikingHoosier
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 7
Rejection due to type of pet; Did I put my foot in my mouth?
Posted: 9/2/2016 4:51:30 AM
You should go back to having a profile picture holding one or more of your pet rats. The photo could be a dealmaker for someone who thinks rats are cool. For those who consider the rats a dealbreaker, the sooner they know the better for both sides. Also mention the rats in your profile text: positively, not defensively.

Good if your profile says "other" for pets.
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 8
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Rejection due to type of pet; Did I put my foot in my mouth?
Posted: 9/2/2016 4:59:01 AM
I own a cat; some people have said "oh no; I don't do cats..." or "oh no; I'm allergic to cats...". In fact, I'm allergic to SOME cats myself; it depends on their skin, rather than their fur.

I'm happy with dogs, depending on their personality.

I'm happy with rats; they're unusual as a choice of pet but I have friends who have kept them. I guess people being people means that you're never going to please everyone all of the time.

Nice photos too; I disagree with the unkind comments that others have left you on the dating side.
 PlutoLover68
Joined: 7/28/2016
Msg: 9
Rejection due to type of pet; Did I put my foot in my mouth?
Posted: 9/2/2016 8:24:15 AM
I don't think when you mention it is a factor. If its a deal breaker, its a deal breaker.

I've chatted with some nice guys and learned they were allergic to cats. I own two. They are 12 and 16, they aren't going anywhere any time soon. It simply would not work to date someone allergic to my cats. They would never be able to come to my house and I'd worry about pet hair on my clothing setting off allergies. Hiding the fact I own the cats would not help anyone, and just prolong the inevitable.

I'm not sure I could date some one that has rodents at pets. While I'm sure they are wonderful for the right owner, I have a horrible mouse phobia that goes back 40 years. I would rather not be around mice, rats, hamsters, etc. Just not my thing.
 ThatGirlNamedAlli
Joined: 12/28/2013
Msg: 10
Rejection due to type of pet; Did I put my foot in my mouth?
Posted: 9/2/2016 9:16:32 AM
aww that sucks. But I see you have the picture with it saying you're a pet rat owner. If they don't read it, that's their problem.
I could totally understand a guy turning me down if he has an allergy to cats, because if one does and they come to me house, they'll probably die. just saying.
Your fur baby is way better than some joe shmo you meet for coffee.

I personaly love every pet, whether he had a rat, guinea pig, tarantula, lizard, snake, etc
 2ufo2
Joined: 8/29/2016
Msg: 11
Rejection due to type of pet; Did I put my foot in my mouth?
Posted: 9/2/2016 10:23:17 AM
Just tell them you have guinea pigs or hamsters; they'll probably never realize the difference.

I've had pet rats and really liked them - they're smart and friendly. I've also had friends with 'pet' snakes, scorpions and tarantulas. The rattlesnake was a reason to never go to his place (I think that might have been the intention)... but those weren't pets so much as a collection.
 maybeebaybee1
Joined: 2/12/2016
Msg: 12
Rejection due to type of pet; Did I put my foot in my mouth?
Posted: 9/2/2016 10:29:03 AM
Normally, I wouldn't reject someone because of their pet. Although I ended a relationship with a guy who had an iguana because he let roam free all over the house. I'm sorry, but that miniature dinosaur terrified me. And I've been rejected because I have a Yorkie. Men apparently don't like little yappy dogs lol Maybe it depends on how much you like the person to tolerate unconventional pets. I will say I probably couldn't sleep in anyone's house who had snakes or spiders as pets. And I'm also creeped out by dead animal heads hanging on walls. That could be a real dealbreaker.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 13
Rejection due to type of pet; Did I put my foot in my mouth?
Posted: 9/2/2016 11:00:49 AM
How did they miss you have pet rats with your header and the picture?
I couldn't be in a house with a rat, few other creatures give me the auggies too. But if you have had that header and pic up for awhile perhaps they jammed for another reason - rat was just an easy way out.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 14
Rejection due to type of pet; Did I put my foot in my mouth?
Posted: 9/2/2016 1:23:01 PM
Are the rats contained in a specific area? If the rats have their own space and don't roam around in the house, it shouldn't be a problem, unless someone just doesn't like the idea of owning rodents. At least that filters out guys that wouldn't be a good match. Out of curiosity, what is the average life span of a rat?
 sleeps_in_mouse_pajamas
Joined: 6/26/2016
Msg: 15
Rejection due to type of pet; Did I put my foot in my mouth?
Posted: 9/2/2016 3:24:14 PM
The photo where I am holding two rats was put up at the same time as this post. It wasn't there when these men initially contacted me, however, my header was and nobody questioned it.

At this point I am confused. Some say reveal, some say not to reveal. What sucks is I haven't met anyone in months and all of the sudden men I am interested in come my way and I ruin any opportunity with them because of my choice of pet. As someone mentioned here, perhaps I should let a man get to know me a bit and drop the rat bomb on them slowly and show them how sweet rats really are!

The story about the opossum is a lovely one. That is something I would do. All life wants to survive no matter how big or small. Opossums make great pets (check out Youtube). They are the only marsupial in North America. I found one in my backyard last week and thought it was a big rat until it turned its head. Wow!
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 16
Rejection due to type of pet; Did I put my foot in my mouth?
Posted: 9/2/2016 3:57:49 PM

Lately I've revealed to three men after making arrangements to meet that I owns pet rats. Afterwards I was told, "I can't do rats--it was nice talking to you.", "Rats gross me out. I've tried to like them but can't.", etc.


Perhaps they all recently viewed a screening of "Willard".


Certainly better than some 15 foot python for instance.


Well, that would take care of the rats.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 17
Rejection due to type of pet; Did I put my foot in my mouth?
Posted: 9/2/2016 5:26:45 PM
You have been on here a long time OP, used to be earwigs have wings, right?
So why the sudden surprise men find rats distasteful? I'm sure rats are grand pets, I thought they were nocturnal.
I tend to stick to ppl with the usual pets, cats, dogs, pigs, unicorns
 VikingHoosier
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 18
Rejection due to type of pet; Did I put my foot in my mouth?
Posted: 9/2/2016 6:23:32 PM


As someone mentioned here, perhaps I should let a man get to know me a bit and drop the rat bomb on them slowly and show them how sweet rats really are!


Not a good idea. If he still doesn't like rats, you wasted his time and yours. If he spent any money on you, he probably will be especially annoyed at your deception by omission.

You recently posted a thread expressing a dislike of profiles where a man wears hats. By the above quoted rationalization, men should hide behind hats or masks, let you get to know them, then drop the hair bomb on them slowly by which time they've shown you how sweet men with hairstyles you don't like really are!
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 19
Rejection due to type of pet; Did I put my foot in my mouth?
Posted: 9/2/2016 6:36:11 PM
Can't do grown men with reptiles. Interestingly, they almost always have particularly ugly tattoos. Not sure what gives.

*
unicorns


Don't tell Freud.
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 20
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Rejection due to type of pet; Did I put my foot in my mouth?
Posted: 9/2/2016 8:11:27 PM
Wait,,, don't you have the cute white ones, all clean, ect?
bet they may be associating rat w/ rats getting into garbage, and bringing disease. .

So don't mention for a while, OR have a couple of them in your pics, so there it being straight away.
 sleeps_in_mouse_pajamas
Joined: 6/26/2016
Msg: 21
Rejection due to type of pet; Did I put my foot in my mouth?
Posted: 9/2/2016 8:45:23 PM
"Not a good idea. If he still doesn't like rats, you wasted his time and yours. If he spent any money on you, he probably will be especially annoyed at your deception by omission."

Although I get what you're saying, could this not be said about a lot of things? The amount of dealbreakers that exist seem to be endless. I will include a photo of myself with my pet rats (which I didn't have when those men decided I was not for them) in my profile so men can decide for themselves if they are interested in getting to know me despite my choice of companion animal.

I am happy to report a positive message about my rats (copied & pasted). "hey your pretty looking to make a friend? ya im only 26 but doesnt mean cant meet eachother might find that im actually fun and know how to treat someone like the buety they are...btw nice rat i used tio have a pet rat to there cool as shit." Although this individual's writing skills need a little improvement, it made me smile. It doesn't hurt that this young man is super cute and doesn't have any hat photos.
 revoskeepnus
Joined: 8/4/2015
Msg: 22
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Rejection due to type of pet; Did I put my foot in my mouth?
Posted: 9/2/2016 11:20:58 PM
I bred with a man that loved snakes,and it was a successful exchange of DNA from a biological standpoint (good looking,smart, etc)...
but, he liked to catch venomous snakes. Kinda hot

if a man had a python I'd probably steer clear.
 loveisatemple
Joined: 3/28/2014
Msg: 23
Rejection due to type of pet; Did I put my foot in my mouth?
Posted: 9/3/2016 3:40:21 AM
I think it's up to you. MAYBE you will win them over before admitting the truth. I met a guy who had a secret that looks bad on paper. We met and it went better than I thought. At some point after dating a while, he sprang it on me and I continued seeing him, though that thing was a divisive issue.Though it ended not well, I guess I don't regret it exactly, like I could with some others. In many ways, he was the type of guy I liked, who took me seriously and could see a future with. Ultimately our emotional bond was shaky, though we had chemistry and other good things. Wasn't enough, but the revelation was not the reason it ended.
 revoskeepnus
Joined: 8/4/2015
Msg: 24
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Rejection due to type of pet; Did I put my foot in my mouth?
Posted: 9/3/2016 6:44:57 AM
I am very romantic, in a practical way...

just saying, it worked out and the kid is awesome.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 25
Rejection due to type of pet; Did I put my foot in my mouth?
Posted: 9/3/2016 6:53:08 AM
Why did he catch vem snakes? I don't care for big birds that some have as pets.. the ones sit on your shoulder and you fear they will peck an eye out, meanwhile the owner is all " oh Angel loves you"
Rats sound interesting.
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