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 nataly66687
Joined: 5/18/2016
Msg: 1
The Birthday BluezPage 1 of 40    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40)
Today's my 29th Birthday! Happy Birthday to me! I've gotten a lot of responses from family and friends, including the guy I have been getting to know and dating for the past month. He went and texted me and messaged me on Facebook around 12PM "Happy Birthday are we doing anything today?" I replied to his messages, saying I couldn't think of anything, so we kept messaging trying to think of something to do, around 1:30PM I suggested we go to one of the malls he hasn't been too yet, and then go see a movie and out to dinner for my Birthday. But from 1:30PM to 3:30PM no word from him at all and no appearance made by him either. At 3:30PM I decided to message him and ask him straight out "Are we going to hang out or no?" It is not 6PM since I sent that message at 3:30PM and no appearance or response to either of my 1:30PM or 3:30PM messages, and no appearance made by him either.

I am feeling really hurt and sad. I was hoping to see my guy today on my special day and he hasn't responded to my messages at all. It is now 6PM should I try again or just leave him alone? I know he isn't working right now he got off work around 12PM. Maybe his cell phone died, or he fell asleep, or got sick, or his car broke down, or he just didn't want to see me after all. What to do now?
 flaneur001
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 2
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The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/3/2016 6:23:19 PM
Happy Birthday Natalie!

I'm sorry this happened....especially today. It sounds like his post text behaviour is out of character. I would suggest you wait until he contacts your. In the meantime, try to make the most of the evening!
 nataly66687
Joined: 5/18/2016
Msg: 3
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/3/2016 6:24:58 PM
Thanks and yeah I will try my best too.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 4
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The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/3/2016 6:57:22 PM
Going to a mall is not on a guy's "to-do" list. I'm surprised you wouldn't have a band recommendation ... a local band you'd like to see on your birthday. What gives...??????
 geekgrrrl
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 5
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The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/3/2016 7:09:21 PM
aintnodeal said
Going to a mall is not on a guy's "to-do" list. I'm surprised you wouldn't have a band recommendation ... a local band you'd like to see on your birthday. What gives...??????


Did you miss the part about how its her birthday and not his? Should be about what's on her "to-do" list. What gives...??????

Happy Birthday nataly!
 nataly66687
Joined: 5/18/2016
Msg: 6
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/3/2016 7:24:26 PM
No good shows today, believe it or not. And whats wrong with the mall, movie, and dinner? Thats a fine date.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 7
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The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/3/2016 7:46:21 PM
Happy Birthday Nataly. If it were me, I would not message again. But I *would* take myself out to see a movie and window shopping, maybe an ice-cream. Better than sitting at home feeling sorry for myself.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 8
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The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/3/2016 9:56:45 PM
re:geekgrrrl Did you miss the part where she said it was a mall that HE had never been to? Guys could not give a f--k about another mall. You want a guy to drive across town and pick you up in his new car, a mall doesn't cut it.

You ask what's wrong? For a birthday, you should be thinking outside of everyday stuff. A daytrip to somewhere 50 miles outside of town could be interesting and give the two of you some alone time to talk that's outside your normal hood. People can change when the environment changes - it's good to see that.

Also a birthday date doesn't have to be on your birthday. You can revisit the band idea again on a night coming up.
 selette_jade
Joined: 1/10/2016
Msg: 9
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/3/2016 10:37:18 PM

Did you miss the part about how its her birthday and not his? Should be about what's on her "to-do" list.

This means he should do what she wants to do because it's her birthday. His to-do is irrelevant.

Did you miss the part where she said it was a mall that HE had never been to?

Nataly was just being thoughtful.

You really don't understand women at all do you aintnodeal? Of course you think you do. But you don't.
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 10
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The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/3/2016 10:54:38 PM
Might have been the mall suggestion. Speaking from experience, when she wants to go to the mall on a special day like that, it's going to cost an arm and leg. Learned THAT the hard way. And I learned NOTHING I could say would get me out of it without bigger problems.

Maybe he's been burned that way too before? You know the saying, once bitten twice shy?
 nataly66687
Joined: 5/18/2016
Msg: 11
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/3/2016 11:17:07 PM
He could have told me something but he never replied to my text, even when I asked him if we were going to hang out or not, he never replied to any texts. It is now 11PM and still no word from him, but yet he can sign on Facebook messenger and be on Facebook fine, but messaging me, when I ask him a question nope. He can't take 5 seconds to respond. :(
 stÃ¥rdust
Joined: 7/18/2016
Msg: 12
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/4/2016 12:44:58 AM
 selette_jade
Joined: 1/10/2016
Msg: 13
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/4/2016 1:01:22 AM

Might have been the mall suggestion. Speaking from experience, when she wants to go to the mall on a special day like that, it's going to cost an arm and leg.

Are you fucking kidding me? A fucking mall? If you can't afford having a girlfriend then don't bother having one.
 VikingHoosier
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 14
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/4/2016 3:31:24 AM
Happy birthday!

His lack of communication is a shame. I would send him another message.

He may have uncertainty how to handle a birthday so early in the dating, as others said, things like V day and Xmas it's not clear how much to do.

Don't listen to the toxic people who try to say a birthday has to be fancy and expensive. Special occasions can be simple and calm, and the best things in life are free.

If I were the guy, I would have created a personalized handmade card. I would have offered to do something fun, not necessarily on her actual birthday because so many people are family oriented, she might have plans with her family, and it's too early to be at the family celebration the way an official boyfriend might.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 15
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The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/4/2016 4:54:46 AM
You have dated a month with this guy, it is not long and he is probably seeing others. He should have suggested something positive to do for your birthday to make it special if he had any real interest in you. At least contacted you in some way. He is not your guy in truth. Dont invest too much in this one is my advice. It is only casual as yet. Dont contact him again. If he is interested he will make an arrangement in the future.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 16
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The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/4/2016 5:24:59 AM
Happy Birthday!

I'd say take this, as you're not very high on his list of priorities. Or, he inferred a date without looking in his wallet first. Not coming out with the truth of his feelings, or whatever his situation is, is pretty cold.

Expecting people to recognise your special day, isn't such a hot idea. You'll end up eating a lot disappointment during that day. It's a harsh lesion to learn, and I'd bet that a good many of us have experienced that.

Next time around, plan your special day as if you were the only one that knows it. Then, if someone else springs a surprise on you, then you can alter your own plans accordingly.

My grand labor day weekend plans? Pull the leaky power steering rack on my van and rebuild it. Well, the parts didn't show up in time. So, my van decides to blow a brake line instead, so that I don't feel left out. Just for an added party favor- I strained my back thursday night, so I get some pain to add to the festivities. Toss in a few "Needs fixed now" emergency jobs, that were handed to me also. Oh what fun!

It's Labor day! And I get to labor over it!.............. Whoopy.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 17
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/4/2016 8:53:19 AM

He could have told me something but he never replied to my text, even when I asked him if we were going to hang out or not, he never replied to any texts.


I remember in the Fred Flinstone days, communication was usually done by either meeting face-to-face or by telephone. Have you two ever talked by using a telephone? If I was seeing someone-like in your case-for a month or so and we never talked on the phone, and all communication when apart was done by text instead, it wouldn't feel like a real relationship. That might be a moot point now, if he disappeared for good, but it's food for thought if he comes back (and you take him back), or in future relationships-even if a telephone seems like a caveman device to younger people. Hearing someone's voice when communicating has more impact than a bunch of letters on a very small screen-and waiting however long to get pixels in return. Text ping pong is not a game I would ever want to play.
 nataly66687
Joined: 5/18/2016
Msg: 18
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/4/2016 9:37:42 AM
Well yesturday came and went and I saw him logged on his Facebook twice, and he never messaged me and he never texted me back. It is now 9:30AM and no reply still. Should I just leave him alone, or point it out, that we need to communicate better, and we should hang out? Or what to really do here. To me, I am thinking maybe he thought I was busy with family, or his phone died, or he fell asleep or was sick, or he had other plans. But to not reply to a text, which only takes 5 seconds to do, I don't get it. He says he really likes me, he wants to date me, and wants us to be Bf and Gf is what he told me on our last third date that happened last weekend.

During our chat yesturday, as we were trying to figure out what to do, I did ask him BEFORE suggesting the mall, I asked him "So what should we do?" He was I think JOKING but he replied back with "Elope?" I replied with "Cool" he replied with "Let's go to Las Vegas" I replied with "Ha nope". Maybe me denying his idea here, hurt his feelings?

Or maybe he thinks I am mad at him and he rather avoid me at all costs until I have calmed down? Or he thinks I don't want to see or talk to him? When that is NOT the case. I really wanna talk and see him.

Why I didn't call him, I figured he wouldn't have answered the phone or was busy or didn't wanna hang out so I didn't wanna be pushy.

I don't know what to think or do now.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 19
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/4/2016 10:20:59 AM
Happy birthday!

I'm sorry to say this, but a guy who forgets his girl on her birthday is not a catch. Perhaps you are better off without him.
 GlassArmonica
Joined: 7/28/2013
Msg: 20
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/4/2016 11:37:03 AM

Are you ****ing kidding me? A ****ing mall? If you can't afford having a girlfriend then don't bother having one.


I am glad that most women don't think like this SJ poster. This is the kind of person that seems to try to give a whole gender a bad name. But thankfully I have a brain and know better.
 blackbeauty744
Joined: 12/1/2015
Msg: 21
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The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/4/2016 11:47:23 AM
Happy Belated Birthday!

I would let this one go - unless he can explain why he can log into Facebook but not initiate contact with you.
 GlassArmonica
Joined: 7/28/2013
Msg: 22
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/4/2016 11:57:43 AM

Well yesturday came and went and I saw him logged on his Facebook twice, and he never messaged me and he never texted me back. It is now 9:30AM and no reply still. Should I just leave him alone, or point it out, that we need to communicate better, and we should hang out? Or what to really do here. To me, I am thinking maybe he thought I was busy with family, or his phone died, or he fell asleep or was sick, or he had other plans. But to not reply to a text, which only takes 5 seconds to do, I don't get it. He says he really likes me, he wants to date me, and wants us to be Bf and Gf is what he told me on our last third date that happened last weekend.

During our chat yesturday, as we were trying to figure out what to do, I did ask him BEFORE suggesting the mall, I asked him "So what should we do?" He was I think JOKING but he replied back with "Elope?" I replied with "Cool" he replied with "Let's go to Las Vegas" I replied with "Ha nope". Maybe me denying his idea here, hurt his feelings?

Or maybe he thinks I am mad at him and he rather avoid me at all costs until I have calmed down? Or he thinks I don't want to see or talk to him? When that is NOT the case. I really wanna talk and see him.

Why I didn't call him, I figured he wouldn't have answered the phone or was busy or didn't wanna hang out so I didn't wanna be pushy.

I don't know what to think or do now.


I used to think that you are a troll, but I don't think so anymore. I regret some of the things I posted in your other thread before and would like to apologize. Now I just feel really bad.

You are quite a cute young woman and are perhaps just very quirky. But everyone is in some way, I think. No one deserves to be mislead, strung along and let down like that on their birthday. I would probably hate it and be depressed as heck and likely a bit mad too.

I sincerely think you deserve someone better than this guy, as others mentioned above. Sounds like he has been doing this since early on ... poor communication, unenthusiastic and being flaky/unreliable.

Don't put all your eggs in one basket with this guy, keep looking and good luck to you. Hope you find love. You deserve it.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 23
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The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/4/2016 12:06:21 PM
Happy belated birthday OP.

Call me a curmudgeon, but I would have made a phone call and left a voicemail.
 dpwesu
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 24
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/4/2016 12:09:36 PM
Oh woe is me...I'm sitting alone here on my birthday and my "boyfriend" didn't respond when I asked him to do something with me.

Well....I've spent PLENTY of birthdays not to mention holidays on my own and had no choice but to make the best of it and fill those days with things I wanted to do, whether it was with family, friends, or just merely being by myself.

You keep wallowing in this "my parents think I'm helpless and can't do anything" crap.

You need to be responsible for YOU and YOUR happiness and YOUR opportunities. Stop looking to others to make you happy. Grow up, get a library card, an education, a clue, a job, your own place, and for God's sake.....stand on your own two feet.

It is screamingly obvious this guy is not into you.....you ask what to do.....the answer....is you do NOTHING when it comes to him. Give him the same amount of "investment" he give you.

Let me spell it out to you.....HIS investment.....NOTHING.....so yours should be thesame...... It really isn't that difficult to figure out.
 nataly66687
Joined: 5/18/2016
Msg: 25
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/4/2016 12:24:39 PM
Something could have happened, his phone could have died, he could have gotten sick, or he was busy with something else and he couldn't get to his phone or message me.

He says he really likes me and says I am sweet, caring, loving, funny, and accepts me for me and wants us to become Boyfriend/Girlfriend, if not more. I am giving him another chance because I do really like him and want to see where things will go.
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