Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Prejudice versus short men online dating.      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Gannicus8913
Joined: 9/30/2016
Msg: 1
Prejudice versus short men online dating.Page 1 of 25    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25)
I have been living in US for 7 years, and I came from Brazil. I have been mostly studying and working hard. I am currently finishing my degree in Biochemistry and finishing my premed classes and I will be soon applying to join the school of medicine. I have a great GPA (above 4.10), and I also work at my university. I don't have the best job right now, but it is a good job that is flexible with hours so I can study and focus what matters for me right now.

Physically speaking, I am what a lot of girls consider "handsome". I am also in a good shape, I have a very fast metabolism so I don't get fat even if I wanted to. But I also work out, I run, and so I have a pretty muscular and toned shape.

Emotionally speaking, I am not the "bad boy" kind of person. I am the kind of person that is decent with good morals, and I would never try to hurt anyone. I would never touch a woman in any harm way, and I believe all of this came from a good upbringing from my mother.

However, all these qualities mentioned above is DESTROYED by one single "flaw". I am a short guy. I am 5'4~5'5. In Brazil my height was never a problem to meet nice girls, and giving a chance to date, even though I am shorter than the average height in Brazil also.

But in US it is a huge issue. I am not sure if it is the "Disney generation" influence where girls grow up with the idea that the best male is the tallest, the prince tall, and the short villain...

But anyway, I was never into online dating. I met a lot of girls from school and work, and had a thing with them, often girls taller than me. It all sounded nice, felt nice for both of us, the girl would always compliment how nice I was, how handsome and hardworking I was.... But all of it would end as soon as I would bring up "hey, do you want to be my girlfriend since we are connecting so well, etc?"

Well, suddenly the girl response would always be: "I am sorry Jeff, you are an amazing handsome guy, but you are too short. My friends will talk of this, and I will feel insecure or uncomfortable wearing my heels next to you". What surprised me most, is that it was not only young females of 18, 20ish years old, but it came from women from 25, up to close to 30 years old. Always similar stories. Some of them would still look for me to have sex, apparently I had everything they looked in a man including good sex, except I didn't have the perfect height to be in a relationship with.

Because of that, I decided to try Online dating. and I NEVER, lied about my height before. I tried similar websites, and although I never lied about my height, I did "hide it" for testing. and when I hid my height from my description, I got a lot of women messaging me or responding to my message. But in POF, where I was forced to display my height, I almost never get a message from a woman. And I also almost never gets the response from a woman.

Sometimes, I sent message to a woman, and believe me folks, I tried a lot of strategies, read the profile, mention something cool about it, trying to break the ice you know, not the boring "hi, hello"... No, believe me, I TRY. But sometimes I notice that the girl's profile disappeared from my searching filter, and when I check my "sent box". The GIRL BLOCKED ME. All I tried was send ONE single message, and I get blocked right the way just because the girl doesn't like short guys... OK, some of you might think "well, it is in your head, you can't be sure if she blocked you for being short". Well, it happens that the profile pops up on the faces on top sometimes, and several times, girls who blocked me had their headline changed to "I don't like short guys". Or they description change "6'0" and abov e please, no shorties"...

What is most annoying, is that it often comes from girls who are 5'0, 5'1, shorter than me!. Even short girls in US have prejudice against short guys which is very weird...
And sometimes, I will be honest, I have a nice shape, and I preferred if my date taken care of her health and shape also, not only for looks but for health matters too. But often, I tried to go out of the box, and talk to that "chubby" girl that seems like having a good personality (based on her profile) and is also very beautiful. And for my surprise, often I got the same reply "sorry, you're too short".

I mean... my online dating experience as a short guy was worse than the real world experience...

very disappointing with the American standard of dating.
I feel like so many women could be happy out there with a nice short dude. After all, as a short dude I am still very strong, I never lost a fight, I am a good person, hardworking.. . yet from so many qualities, that one physical thing that is not even that bad. I am all proportional, and I am not a dwarf either,... but that one thing means the most for american women.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 2
Prejudice for short men in online dating.
Posted: 10/16/2016 1:18:25 PM
you may feel this subject has gotten the short-shrift, but if you care to do a subject search, you may find this has been discussed long and hard. It might be thought that some women may like the taller fellow thinking he can defend her when she's drunk and acting a bit childish in a bar, but others argue this theory doesn't measure up. They might get a little bit short about it, but for some, height is a personal issue. Like you posted, its too bad, we can offer so much more to a person.

Good luck in your dating, hopefully your search here for love will be short, and you won't get the short end of the stick once you have found a partner. Do keep in mind, however, if you do ask people to sacrifice some of the things they look for in a partner, you have to do so as well. There are many women who may not be so beautiful on the outside, but their personality makes them worth looking up to.
 feirx
Joined: 10/13/2016
Msg: 3
Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 10/16/2016 1:41:15 PM
i'm 5ft 1 and do prefer guys 6ft 4 or over, don't know why but i just like very tall guys. my first ever boyfriend was this height so that may have something to do with it? we had a really good relationship too.

apart from my mum (who is officially a midget at 4ft 10) all the people in my immediate family are tall too. so it's comforting for me to be with tall people.

i wouldn't rule out short guys but know what i prefer and do talk to some shorter guys as well who i see potential in or might become friends, depends on their message and everything else overall but that goes for tall guys too.

at my age a lot are rough looking and i think they lie about their age but you are young and i do think you should expect more than you're getting, especially if you really are a decent guy. thing is people have their preferences and it could be something else that puts them off but don't expect short women to settle for or want short guys, we can like tall guys too. think the shortest guy i've had a relationship with was 5ft 11.
 feirx
Joined: 10/13/2016
Msg: 4
Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 10/16/2016 1:45:57 PM
and all my relationships previously have been circumstantial, like i met them through work mostly. one i met on a gaming site and i didn't even know his height, he just happened to be very tall.

so it's not like i specifically went out looking for height but online it can be that way i suppose. you do get a lot of messages and men approach you so you start using more things to filter out men because it's easier to do that than look at every single guy as someone with potential. i do, maybe not everyone does.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 5
view profile
History
You know POF is worldwide, right...???
Posted: 10/16/2016 1:47:24 PM
Prejudice against short men has existed since before women could measure a man's height. It is what it is and that will never change.
Whining and griping about it will not change your luck or change how women react. Every man has his advantages and disadvantages. Being short is a severe one - or it isn't if you change your attitude and recognize the people who are attracted to you, instead of pushing them away because they are "too tall, too ugly, too pale, too dark, too talkative, too quiet, too arrogant, too meek".

Give ALL women the kind of chance that you are begging for here, and you will suddenly be surrounded by women.

There is, of course a simple solution that you have already discovered: " In Brazil my height was never a problem to meet nice girls, and giving a chance to date" Yes...find you wife in Brazil, and bring her back here IF this is where you want to live. Or stay in Brazil and feel like a giant among men. It's your choice. You know POF is worldwide, right...???
 Gannicus8913
Joined: 9/30/2016
Msg: 6
You know POF is worldwide, right...???
Posted: 10/16/2016 2:42:04 PM
Im Brazil I didn't need to use POF. I only used because I am in US, so to meet American girls.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 7
view profile
History
You know POF is worldwide, right...???
Posted: 10/16/2016 3:04:59 PM
"Prejudice versus short men online dating."

So OP, what types of women are you prejudice against?

Will you OP, date any women who asks you, or do you have preferences like everyone else.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 8
You know POF is worldwide, right...???
Posted: 10/16/2016 3:39:07 PM
Dating, in itself, exposes the prejudices' of us all. If not, then you are not dating correctly.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 9
You know POF is worldwide, right...???
Posted: 10/16/2016 3:44:59 PM
I find that some men don't like women with big mouths. I feel descriminated against, as it's something I don't seem to have control over.
 Yule_liquor
Joined: 12/7/2011
Msg: 10
You know POF is worldwide, right...???
Posted: 10/16/2016 3:56:04 PM
@OP


Im Brazil I didn't need to use POF.


this ^ is your answer! You will never change the way pple think!
Just go back to Brazil and find yourself a woman; same culture, same way of thinking..problem solved
Besides, from what i have seen, most are way hotter than what we have here, in all adult age groups.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 11
You know POF is worldwide, right...???
Posted: 10/16/2016 4:00:30 PM
^ And where the hell am I supposed to go?
 halforhalfnot
Joined: 9/13/2016
Msg: 12
You know POF is worldwide, right...???
Posted: 10/16/2016 4:06:56 PM
Nah....too easy.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 13
You know POF is worldwide, right...???
Posted: 10/16/2016 4:10:05 PM
I'm not THAT easy :(





In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.
Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.
 halforhalfnot
Joined: 9/13/2016
Msg: 14
You know POF is worldwide, right...???
Posted: 10/16/2016 4:12:04 PM
Well there's your problem right there. A fellow is more likely to put up with a Chatty Cathy if she has more flexible boundaries.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 15
You know POF is worldwide, right...???
Posted: 10/16/2016 4:22:40 PM
First I'm too easy, then I'm not easy enough. Perhaps you'd feel less conflicted if you stopped dating women from Surrey.

And another thing, I'm not a "Chatty Cathy". It's just that when I do speak, I'm always right. Really, who can blame men for feeling a little intimidated?
 halforhalfnot
Joined: 9/13/2016
Msg: 16
You know POF is worldwide, right...???
Posted: 10/16/2016 4:41:56 PM
Hey, hey, hey. Let's keep this between you and me. No need to bring innocent parties into this.

 gotahubcapdiamondstarhalo
Joined: 9/21/2016
Msg: 17
You know POF is worldwide, right...???
Posted: 10/16/2016 4:43:40 PM
Well, here in the USA, we see our BFs as a fashion accessory. You have to be tall enough to complement our high heels. Unfortunately, you are at that awkward height ... too short to work with stilettos and too tall to be carried in our tote bag.
 feirx
Joined: 10/13/2016
Msg: 18
You know POF is worldwide, right...???
Posted: 10/16/2016 4:55:28 PM
^^ that's kind of true, not the fashion accessory thing but the wearing heels thing. i am 5ft 7 in heels and always wear them outside.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 19
view profile
History
Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 10/16/2016 5:16:54 PM
I have to say that it is not only American women that prefer taller men. In Latin countries perhaps the average height for a guy is quite a bit less than say America or Australia. There is nothing you can do about your height or the preferences that women have. You just have to target very petite women I guess. Why you avoid stating your body type I dont know. Also the photo shows you looking very pissed off. I would change both those things.
 Blue_Highway
Joined: 5/11/2016
Msg: 20
You know POF is worldwide, right...???
Posted: 10/16/2016 6:37:47 PM

Well, here in the USA, we see our BFs as a fashion accessory.


Was trying to be funny, yet when in reality there is a lot of truth to this.
 PlutoLover68
Joined: 7/28/2016
Msg: 21
view profile
History
Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 10/16/2016 7:13:27 PM
I will speak on behalf of the "chubby" girls. First we aren't desperate. Some Attractive taller man want to date us as well. Second, we don't want to stand next to a short in shape man and feel even bigger. I like to date men that make me feel more average in size . Third we don't want you to feel uncomfortable if we have on heals and are taller than you.

I'm 5'4. I've dated down to 5'6", but it's not my norm. I normally like 5"9 as a min.
 flman2015
Joined: 10/3/2015
Msg: 22
Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 10/16/2016 7:16:20 PM
The first thing to realize is that people have, and are entitled to having preferences. Preferring a tall guy is not a prejudice, just a preference.

There is nothing you or anyone else can do about someone's preferences. You have your preferences and you are just as entitled to them as they are in their preference for a tall guy.

Now, as far as what to do about it...

First, you're going to have to accept the fact that, as far as your height is concerned, you are at a physical disadvantage you can do nothing about. That said, it is not a "terminal" disadvantage, there are women who will like you just the way you are. Find those, that's the solution. Your search will very likely require more work than if you were 6 foot tall but, it's only a matter of more work and perseverance.

Try not to sweat it... it serves no purpose. Keep your eyes open till you find the woman that enjoys you and, you enjoy her, just the way the two of you are. The worst thing you can do is obsess about your height... that would become another disadvantage.
 GhettoFoot
Joined: 9/4/2016
Msg: 23
Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 10/16/2016 7:24:10 PM
You need to date IRL. That way, the women will already see how short you are and if you do happen build a connection, then you know your height is a non-issue to her. With OLD, we're all just a bunch of pixels and stats thus it's easier to pass someone by because they don't fit your criteria. There are a handful of men, including my fiance, that I met IRL that I probably would have not have responded to if they had messaged me on a site like this due to being short ( shortest was 5'3") or not the typical age/body type I'd go for.
 AnEvilGenius1
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 24
Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 10/16/2016 8:32:44 PM
Yeah, what's with these women thinking they should have a say in who they date and get into relationships with ?
It's time we get this problem under control or the next thing you know they'll be wanting to vote, wear pants and get job's and demand cuddling and that we listen to them.


Imagine the horror of it all, oh the horror..
 BornOnAnIsland
Joined: 8/4/2016
Msg: 25
Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 10/16/2016 9:13:49 PM
"Yeah, what's with these women thinking they should have a say in who they date and get into relationships with ?
It's time we get this problem under control or the next thing you know they'll be wanting to vote, wear pants and get job's and demand cuddling and that we listen to them.


Imagine the horror of it all, oh the horror.."

I am cracking up laughing hysterically!

But, to the young man who originally posted about American women desiring tall men:

There is always going to be something everyone doesn't like about someone. I had a girlfriend who strictly only dated men 5'8" and under. She found men who were taller appalling. You will find the right girls to date. You have everything going for you... on paper. These girls haven't met you, so they don't know what you have to offer them.

This is going to be so much more difficult for you than your medical school, residency, internship, oral and written boards, so don't worry what anyone says, just keep moving on and throw whatever the blocker says to the side and keep on chugging along. Finding love is magical and it works or it doesn't and finding it, you have to weed through the pond scum and through the carp to find your gold fish.

Keep it moving and thank your stars that you didn't waste your time on the loser who blocked you. In the long run it wouldn't have worked out and you wasted time. She saved you actually! Think of it as positive.

Good luck and chin up, always. You wear your heart on your sleeve because you are passionate about life.

Abracar-te, (hope that is correct, my Portugues is rusty)

BornOnAnIsland
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Prejudice versus short men online dating.