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 nataly66687
Joined: 5/18/2016
Msg: 1
Let's Talk But Yet They Don't Want but Want You Too?Page 1 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Why is it, that people go as far as putting down on their online dating profiles stuff like

"I will not reply to messages with "Hey" or "Hey What's up?", to other things like "If you didn't read my profile, when messaging me and talk to me about something I listed on it, then I will not talk to you".

When yet some people go and read through their profile, and send replies that are detailed even stuff like

"So your into movies, TV shows, and video games, well what are your top 5 from each of those categories?"

And yet, you still don't get a response from the person, when yet they asked that you read their profile and send them a better message and they won't talk back still, it's like why say all of that then?

I have sent a variety of messages to guys on this website, among others, including app's and yet I never ever get responses. It's like what do these guys want, you take charge and send the first message, being simple or even detailed and yet no reply whatsoever. What more do they want?

I don't get it.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 2
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Let's Talk But Yet They Don't Want but Want You Too?
Posted: 10/17/2016 11:19:23 AM
Plain and simple....they are not interested.
Please take this as an honest attempt to help you. You need some better/clear pictures. For men are very visual. Not to be mean or hurtful but your pictures look a lot like you maybe transgender. If you wish to get better responces upgrade your pics perhaps go to profile reviews and change some of your content.
I wish you nothing but the best.
 nataly66687
Joined: 5/18/2016
Msg: 3
Let's Talk But Yet They Don't Want but Want You Too?
Posted: 10/17/2016 11:27:29 AM
Well how can I make myself NOT look trasngender, when I am NOT trasgender in the first place. I can't get plastic surgery. What do YOU recommend I wear or type of make up I should put on, to make me NOT appear like a tranny. Because I was born and rasied a women and I am a women. I was NEVER tranny or had any surgeries to change my appearance or body type.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 4
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Let's Talk But Yet They Don't Want but Want You Too?
Posted: 10/17/2016 11:34:36 AM
As I said this was not meant to be mean or hurtful....your pictures are not so clear. They look deceptive. You say you are into taking photos as stated in your bio....then you should know your pics could be better.

Edit: I never said you were transgender. You come here asking why no one responds to you....just trying to help.

vvv My photo doesn't matter....I am not here asking the question. If you go into my profile I show many sides to my photos.
If you really want help, I would be happy to oblige.
You just need to change your photos up a bit. Take a few different shots do some make up curl your hair. Just show some different looks.

Extra Edit: Thanks Plutolover:)
 nataly66687
Joined: 5/18/2016
Msg: 5
Let's Talk But Yet They Don't Want but Want You Too?
Posted: 10/17/2016 11:45:21 AM
Well help me, give me tips, should I do close up shots of my face, or just body shots, by the way YOUR MAIN PHOTO is of you in the dark so why is that OK but yet MY PHOTOS are WRONG?
 PlutoLover68
Joined: 7/28/2016
Msg: 6
Let's Talk But Yet They Don't Want but Want You Too?
Posted: 10/17/2016 11:49:43 AM
reading profiles and responding with a well thought message does not require them to respond. It sucks, but its just how OLD works. You have to send out lots and lots of messages to get a single response. Possibly 50+ messages, to get one reply, and that one reply will likely still not result in a match. Online is not some magical place where you instantly find the man of your dreams.

You don't have a classic look that will attract most men. You do need your photos to be more clear and better lit. Camera angles can help a lot in down playing features and making others shine. Try some photos from above rather than everything straight on. Angles help. Google portrait photography tips, tricks or poses. You'll learn a lot about hand placement, head tilt, angle, etc. Hang out at some make up forums online, learn some tips to soften some of your lines that give you the more masculine appearance, and go for a more soft feminine look.
 PlutoLover68
Joined: 7/28/2016
Msg: 7
Let's Talk But Yet They Don't Want but Want You Too?
Posted: 10/17/2016 11:52:43 AM

YOUR MAIN PHOTO is of you in the dark so why is that OK but yet MY PHOTOS are WRONG

Have you went and checked out the rest of her profile photos? If not, you should. The rest of her photos really show her from every angle, well let, and do not make you wonder what she looks like.
 nataly66687
Joined: 5/18/2016
Msg: 8
Let's Talk But Yet They Don't Want but Want You Too?
Posted: 10/17/2016 11:56:24 AM
What masculine appearance? What lines are you referring too? And trust me, I have taken photos of me in various poses over the years and still get told the same thing, time and time, and time again!!!!!!
 gotahubcapdiamondstarhalo
Joined: 9/21/2016
Msg: 9
Let's Talk But Yet They Don't Want but Want You Too?
Posted: 10/17/2016 12:03:41 PM
Com' on, Nat. You are really stretching.

You know that just because YOU think you tick their boxes, they aren't obligated to be interested in you.

For someone to be interested, you need to be INTERESTING.

Try again.

P. S.
You say:

YOUR MAIN PHOTO is of you in the dark so why is that OK but yet MY PHOTOS are WRONG?


And yet ... that poster is not the person asking for help, here, is she? :wink:
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 10
Let's Talk But Yet They Don't Want but Want You Too?
Posted: 10/17/2016 12:08:12 PM
I have seen some photos of you that were better than your current ones---but for some reason you took them out. There was one good photo of you in a shorter, belted dress that showed off your small waist---not the shapeless sack you have on in your main photo.

Also, the long bangs hide your eyes and do nothing for you, in my opinion. You might want to try sweeping them over to the side, and wear some make-up that plays up your eyes more.

Edit to message 13:

I had no idea that the OP had posted years before under a different name. She was given very sound advice and apparently chose not to follow it. Oh well... as the saying goes, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 11
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Let's Talk But Yet They Don't Want but Want You Too?
Posted: 10/17/2016 12:09:37 PM

What masculine appearance?



I have taken photos of me in various poses over the years and still get told the same thing, time and time, and time again!!!!!!


You answered your own question!
 gotahubcapdiamondstarhalo
Joined: 9/21/2016
Msg: 12
Let's Talk But Yet They Don't Want but Want You Too?
Posted: 10/17/2016 12:11:32 PM

Well how can I make myself NOT look trasngender, when I am NOT trasgender in the first place. I can't get plastic surgery. What do YOU recommend I wear or type of make up I should put on, to make me NOT appear like a tranny. Because I was born and rasied a women and I am a women. I was NEVER tranny or had any surgeries to change my appearance or body type.


Natalie -
You are cycling through one of your limited topics again. Here are three pages of responses to an earlier thread you posted called "Do I look transgender to you?" Maybe you need to go back and read it, again:

https://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts15285248.aspx
 PrettyBr0wnEyed1
Joined: 7/5/2016
Msg: 13
Let's Talk But Yet They Don't Want but Want You Too?
Posted: 10/17/2016 1:01:57 PM
You're attractive, but one thing I've learned is that males are 100% visual. When I first got online, I went through something similar to what you posted, I did not understand about what type of pics to post, mine were all blurry and grainy. I didn't wear makeup and I think most of my pics looked like I just rolled out of bed.

This is the world we've progressed to where most everything is visual - instagram, online dating, etc. everything is focused on the visual with photos and videos. Show your most favorable features, your eyes, your smile, your cheekbones. But sometimes it may not matter, because some online may want to waste time or play games, so try not to take it personal if the guys do not reply back.
 PlutoLover68
Joined: 7/28/2016
Msg: 14
Let's Talk But Yet They Don't Want but Want You Too?
Posted: 10/17/2016 1:14:40 PM

What masculine appearance? What lines are you referring too?

Really? You have to ask? Your appearance is why people question if you are transgender. You are not the most feminine of women, but you can do things to help yourself in that area. Dress to flatter your figure. Wear makeup to flatter things like your eyes and your smile. A new haircut that softens your facial lines, and shows your eyes. Choose a look and wardrobe that is AGE appropriate. Wearing Halloween themed dresses is good for 5 year olds and school teachers, not 29 year old single women trying to find a date.

You do know the definition of insanity, right?
same thing, time and time, and time again
 GhettoFoot
Joined: 9/4/2016
Msg: 15
Let's Talk But Yet They Don't Want but Want You Too?
Posted: 10/17/2016 1:18:30 PM

I have taken photos of me in various poses over the years and still get told the same thing, time and time, and time again!!!!!!


You took the words right out of my mouth. I've seen these various pictures you mentioned before you delete them. If you keep doing the same thing repeatedly, why expect a different result?

Like Pluto said, your features aren't going to attract most straight men. That coupled with your complete lack of ambition or anything to offer in a relationship makes you an undesirable catch. Get real. You are very delusional and have unrealistic expectations when you yourself don't even come close to reaching half of what you seek in another person.
 PrettyBr0wnEyed1
Joined: 7/5/2016
Msg: 16
Let's Talk But Yet They Don't Want but Want You Too?
Posted: 10/17/2016 1:26:50 PM
I was trying to reply just in general, but there's no button to do so.

Let's remember this is POF, I can't preface that enough. There is someone for everyone, but I do think in the span of time that I've been on here that I can honestly say I would not suggest to the OP to have to go above and beyond to change so much.

The pics of the local guys that I see, some look unkempt, some look like predators that will try to lock a female in their basement and so on. So I don't know if I'd suggest to the OP to change her overall appearance, wardrobe, etc. just to garner some attention, but I could be completely wrong.
 PlutoLover68
Joined: 7/28/2016
Msg: 17
Let's Talk But Yet They Don't Want but Want You Too?
Posted: 10/17/2016 1:44:48 PM
^^^ Browneye, please see post #3 in this thread. She asks what she needs to do to get me to not view her as transgender and how to attract them. I would not normally tell people to change their appearance and dress differently to find man. But, really, it doesn't matter. She starts these threads and will do nothing to change. She will not find a job, learn to drive, take better photos, etc. She wants life to just magically go her way.
 PrettyBr0wnEyed1
Joined: 7/5/2016
Msg: 18
Let's Talk But Yet They Don't Want but Want You Too?
Posted: 10/17/2016 1:57:13 PM

^^^ Browneye, please see post #3 in this thread. She asks what she needs to do to get me to not view her as transgender and how to attract them. I would not normally tell people to change their appearance and dress differently to find man. But, really, it doesn't matter. She starts these threads and will do nothing to change. She will not find a job, learn to drive, take better photos, etc. She wants life to just magically go her way.


Okay, understood PlutoLover. I'm staying out of it, because I know how personal things can get when it comes to a person's appearance, looks, etc. I understand though.
 nataly66687
Joined: 5/18/2016
Msg: 19
Let's Talk But Yet They Don't Want but Want You Too?
Posted: 10/17/2016 2:16:17 PM
Excuse me, I KNOW HOW TO DRIVE, I HAVE MY DRIVER'S LICENSE. I can drive, I just can't afford insurance to drive because it is expensive and I don't have a job, to pay for said insurance. I am applying to places and will get a job!

I have done tons to change. So my expect me to go and CUT MY HAIR EVEN SHORTER THAN WHAT IT IS? MY HAIR IS ALREADY SHORT!!!!!!!!!

WHO GIVES A CRAP IF I WEAR HALLOWEEN CLOTHING, ITS WHAT I LIKE TO WEAR. There are people who like certain things, I've seen guys in furry outfits, to jeans and band tshirts to being in their underwear. And yet they get attention.

Yet I try to look girly wearing outfits of skirts/blouses, dresses, tight pants and blouses, and doing different poses and positions and yet I STILL GET TOLD I AM TRANSGENDER!!!!!
 GlassArmonica
Joined: 7/28/2013
Msg: 20
Let's Talk But Yet They Don't Want but Want You Too?
Posted: 10/17/2016 2:30:01 PM
Natalie, may we please ask you a personal question?
You do not have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable, if it is too personal.

But I think it will help us better understand you.
That way we can give you better advice,
and it will hopefully help you to find your soul mate.

You mentioned that you are saving yourself for marriage. Very honorable and admirable!
Many women who stay virgins will still have anal and oral sex, but just not vaginal, aka "going all the way."

Will you have anal and/or oral sex with your man before you get married?
Will you give him regular hand jobs so he doesn't get the dreaded Blue Balls,
and also be willing to participate in erotic mutual masturbation sessions together?

You can do all these things and still be a virgin, you know.
Please don't be offended, as we only ask all this because we care and want to see you happy.
 PlutoLover68
Joined: 7/28/2016
Msg: 21
Let's Talk But Yet They Don't Want but Want You Too?
Posted: 10/17/2016 2:43:29 PM
Nat, you asked, in post 3 how to change to get men to not mistake you for transgender. I offered suggestions. No need to scream. If you don't like the answers, just keep doing what you're doing and getting what you've got. Its all good. It doesn't effect the rest of us.
 Blackwood85
Joined: 5/20/2013
Msg: 22
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Let's Talk But Yet They Don't Want but Want You Too?
Posted: 10/17/2016 2:47:23 PM
There were a ton of pictures you had that showed you from all angles and you took them down for some reason, then you complain that you're not receiving messages from men which makes me wonder what happened to the guy that you were supposedly dating.

The two pictures you currently have aren't great, they are masculine looking and cutting your hair short isn't going to help in that area. Your face is masculine but you're not the first cisgendered female to have masculine features, a good example is Serena Williams who has a masculine face and body but makes it work for her.

http://blacksportsonline.com/home/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Serena-Williams-New-York-Magazine-5.jpg

I know you're an self-proclaimed geek who loves cosplaying and that's fine but you either want the help or you don't want the help. If you don't want advice, we'll all **** off but stop asking for it. If you do want advice check your ego at the ****ing door and heed it, if you don't like it then so be it. You're an grown woman you'll do what you want. Personally speaking, I think you should take a break from dating or trying to date, focus on improving your situation, find a job, save money, find your own place, get a car, some insurance, getting your written work out there then start dating once you have some responsibilities and shit to lose. You'll be more cognizant of who you're trying to attract.

http://womenshair.about.com/od/haircutsstyles/a/Why-I-Don-T-Believe-In-The-Best-Haircuts-For-A-Specific-Face-Shape.htm

Your entire attitude is "THIS IS WHO I AM, TAKE ME AS AM I NOW!" just copy and paste that in your profile in all caps.
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 23
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Let's Talk But Yet They Don't Want but Want You Too?
Posted: 10/17/2016 2:51:58 PM

Excuse me, I KNOW HOW TO DRIVE, I HAVE MY DRIVER'S LICENSE. I can drive, I just can't afford insurance to drive because it is expensive and I don't have a job, to pay for said insurance. I am applying to places and will get a job!

I have done tons to change. So my expect me to go and CUT MY HAIR EVEN SHORTER THAN WHAT IT IS? MY HAIR IS ALREADY SHORT!!!!!!!!!

WHO GIVES A CRAP IF I WEAR HALLOWEEN CLOTHING, ITS WHAT I LIKE TO WEAR. There are people who like certain things, I've seen guys in furry outfits, to jeans and band tshirts to being in their underwear. And yet they get attention.

Yet I try to look girly wearing outfits of skirts/blouses, dresses, tight pants and blouses, and doing different poses and positions and yet I STILL GET TOLD I AM TRANSGENDER!!!!!


Nataly, Nataly, Nataly...

How many times do you have to ask the same question, get the same replies and then respond in the same manner??

The plain fact is that your looks could be classed as unconventional by some and unattractive by others. Blame your genes. Your current photos are bad. Your main image is badly lit and shows off your large jawline and the other simply makes you look deformed.

Dating profiles are the romantic equivalent of a job application. At present, yours looks like the equivalent of something scribbled on the back of a used envelope and handed to the first cashier you saw. In the wrong store.

It is no good you writing to people and expecting a reply. Hope for one but never expect one. More than half (and I'm being generous here) will never reply to you and you need to start learning to accept that.

Stop comparing yourself to people in other profiles, like you did above. I've seen you do the same with another journalist, whining that they have nothing you haven't got. You're wrong. They have potential, charisma and importantly a willingness to portray themselves as truly interesting. They went out and got on with it. They sold themselves out in the real world. They didn't plonk themselves out in a yard sale on a deserted street, wondering why nobody's looking.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 24
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Let's Talk But Yet They Don't Want but Want You Too?
Posted: 10/17/2016 2:58:12 PM
Nataly....I tried to send you a private message but was unable to.
You are right on one very good point. You can't change what you look like. You are born this way. We all have to except what we are given. With help and guidances we can enhance our features or manipulate our appearances...you have beautiful eyes and a strong attitude which are very much in your flavour. You can only do the best of your abilties.
There is someone out there that will love you just the way you are.
I wish you all the best.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 25
Let's Talk But Yet They Don't Want but Want You Too?
Posted: 10/17/2016 3:18:03 PM
I honestly don't understand what you "don't get" OP??????? You cannot "make" a stranger reply to your initial emails. There is no law for such a thing. And really, if you seriously sit down and think about it, why would you want a person that doesn't want to reply to do so?????? If there is no attraction on their part towards you, why are you concerned? They are a nothing to you, until they make it something. They just aren't doing that.

Now, how you decide to go about this is up to you. As someone has mentioned continuing to do something and getting the same results is a bit crazy. If you don't want to "change" do not expect much different. I'm 55, and have concluded long time ago, that very few of the fems out there will find me, or the things that I believe in, and do, very attractive or conducive to a "long term" relationship. I've also concluded that I love the way I am, and with that, I KNOW I have eliminated the majority out there. I can only hold onto the hope for that one in the minority, and still be true the person that I am.
This online thingy is just one tool that you should be using, and yes, you have been told this by more than one person in these forums. It's not really very personal, and doesn't work for most, no matter what advertisements say. Understand that. Most of us here, are looking for something but not the same thing. You have to understand that, or you will end up going batshiat crazy. Me?????? I've been there for a long while now.
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