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 PilatesYogi
Joined: 10/13/2016
Msg: 1
What happened to himPage 1 of 1    
I was browsing through guys and saw this kind of funny picture of a guy with his shirt off. Then I find out he's an Army Scout and message him telling him basically that I was amazed by this. Truthfully I
We started talking and mind you this was on Sunday. We spoke for two days:day and night about things like his pets too. Then I kept taking naps. I was still recovering from being sick. (I told him I was sick the week before.) I didn't want him to just stay there thinking I was going to message him back because I neeed to rest after school.. I told him I was going to take a nap and when I woke up he asked me how was my nap and he didn't respond after I told him he didn't even read my message. It's been a week now I'm not sure if he's not interested, something happened, he's locked out of his account, or busy working.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 2
What happened to him
Posted: 10/23/2016 4:52:41 PM
Someone will prolly be here soon to say you snooze you lose
A week>he isn't interested. Unless he works 24 hour days.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 3
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What happened to him
Posted: 10/23/2016 5:05:10 PM
PERFECT
On another world by another star
At another place and time
In another state of consciousness
In another state of mind

Everything was almost perfect
Everything fell into place
The jury reached a different verdict
Before the judge dismissed the case

In a parallel universe
That's happening right now
Things between us must be worse
But it's hard to see just how

And everything could have been perfect
Everything in the right place
Then I wouldn't have to play the suspect
Accused, abandoned and disgraced


I didn't shoot, I didn't pull the trigger
It wasn't me I'm just a plain and simple singer
I heard the sound, I turned my head around
To watch our love shot down

In another lonely universe
We're laying side by side
And no one's hurt and no one's cursed
And no one needs to hide

And everything is almost perfect
Everything is almost right
There are never any conflicts
There are never any fights
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 4
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What happened to him
Posted: 10/23/2016 5:05:55 PM
Well, if you think about your own end of things, you should recognize that just as you had your own things going on, that maybe he does too. Could be anything. Only way to tell, will be to see what happens next, if anything.

One potential concern: you say " I told him I was going to take a nap and when I woke up he asked me how was my nap and he didn't respond after I told him he didn't even read my message." Depending on other factors, bawling someone out for failing to respond on your schedule, and or accusing them of failing to read what you write, is pretty easy to take as a form of rejection. I know a lot of people who would immediately stop responding to anyone who seemed to go on the attack.
 PilatesYogi
Joined: 10/13/2016
Msg: 5
What happened to him
Posted: 10/24/2016 3:24:38 AM
aintnodeal:
Beautiful poem!

Ouija2025:
Thanks haha, I usually go to school for twelve hours a day and still find time for others. I think him working 24 hour shifts would be highly unlikely. I suppose he's moved on.

IgorFrankensteen:
Well, life goes on right? I was genuinely curious because he paid so much attention to me day and night then he went like ghost mode in the blink of an eye lol literally. I don't think I was the only girl he spoke to either because I know I'm still talking to other guys and going on dates. It was kind of weird to see him not even use his account since then because perhaps he's not interested in one person. I would hope I didn't affect his view on POF so much. It's kind of besides me at the same time. I don't mean to come across as only considering my own life. I thought about his too. He told me he does so many things. My friends told me to wait, but I don't want to I guess be a sitting duck for someone who isn't interested. I dont want to attack or bombard him with my messages just gave him space if that's what he wants.
 VikingHoosier
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 6
What happened to him
Posted: 10/24/2016 4:07:05 AM
Women on dating sites are all over men with shirtless photos like flies on ****. He got attention from many other women and found one or more he considers better.

Even if you were the only one to message him, the "you didn't read my message" dysfunction is a likely reason he lost interest.

"I'm sick" is another likely way to lose interest. Women when sick or injured typically just use people online to pass the time, then "abandon" them when well. Not feeling well is a common excuse, often meaning they found someone else.

He could be fake. Many "military" guys are fake. Shirtless photos are often someone else, especially if they appeal to women.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 7
What happened to him
Posted: 10/24/2016 8:25:05 AM
If they don't reply within 24, they are probably not interested.
 PlutoLover68
Joined: 7/28/2016
Msg: 8
What happened to him
Posted: 10/24/2016 9:27:23 AM

He could be fake. Many "military" guys are fake. Shirtless photos are often someone else, especially if they appeal to women. [/quote}

In my experience this is likely the case. Consider yourself lucky he disappeared.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 9
What happened to him
Posted: 10/24/2016 9:29:52 AM
Maybe you inspired him to take a really long nap ?
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 10
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What happened to him
Posted: 10/24/2016 6:20:44 PM
PERFECT - Depeche Mode
Not a poem, a song. Look it up on YouTube. I thought it kinda fit your encounter.
 gotahubcapdiamondstarhalo
Joined: 9/21/2016
Msg: 11
What happened to him
Posted: 10/24/2016 9:02:45 PM
He got a better offer.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 12
What happened to him
Posted: 10/24/2016 9:32:09 PM
Gone Gone
He ducked back down the alley
With some roly-poly little bat-faced girl
All along along
There were incidents and accidents
There were hints and allegations
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 13
What happened to him
Posted: 10/25/2016 8:02:16 AM

If they don't reply within 24, they are probably not interested.


24 hours is too soon to claim a person is not interested. Some people don't check their emails every day. Having said that, most likely a person that didn't respond within a week lost interest. Maybe he was talking to other women that he liked better. Or he was never that interested to begin with. Some people are looking for an email / text buddy and use OLD as a way to pass time when they are bored.
 GreatGal1977
Joined: 8/25/2016
Msg: 14
What happened to him
Posted: 10/25/2016 11:30:04 AM
His wife came home early from a vacation maybe?

Why worry about someone you haven't even me? lol
 Iredurbio2
Joined: 4/18/2013
Msg: 15
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What happened to him
Posted: 10/25/2016 2:24:48 PM
He just found someone who's a lot older.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 16
What happened to him
Posted: 10/25/2016 3:50:55 PM
I'm going with alien abduction.
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 17
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What happened to him
Posted: 10/26/2016 12:05:29 PM

I was genuinely curious because he paid so much attention to me day and night then he went like ghost mode in the blink of an eye lol literally.


messaging, like every other aspect of courtship, is an exploratory process. in every interaction, we are gathering information about the other person to determine whether he or she has the qualities we want - or don't want. every new bit of info we discover involves mentally swiping left or right. when someone cuts contact, it can indicate they've discovered something they don't want.

you've ghosted a hundred people in person, in the romantic context or just general interaction, when they've done something that told you you wanted no further interaction. we all have. did you make a point of telling them directly you had no intention of further interaction? of course not. you just excused yourself at some point and initiated no further contact.

get used to the idea that anything you do or say on here can be a dealbreaker, whether you think it should be or not, so you shouldn't be surprised or take it personally if things don't go as you want.
 HippyDippyWeatherman
Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 18
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What happened to him
Posted: 10/26/2016 11:41:31 PM
He's on a secret mission.
 lovethevino
Joined: 6/30/2013
Msg: 19
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What happened to him
Posted: 10/27/2016 9:56:03 AM
This is a generic response to all people that wonder what happened to the other person, not specifically directed at any one person although it applies to so many of these types of situations you should take it under advisement. One thing everybody (male and female) should improve their skills is determining if the other party is just being polite or if there is an actual interest. This is not always so easy to determine, as people have a tendency to over share online often resulting in the other party feeling that there is more to it, than there actually is. My best tip here is don't initiate the conversation every time, let the other person come to you on occasion, especially in the beginning.


I'm not sure doing a post mortem on a relationship that never existed is all that beneficial for anybody. Unless you find a consistency in your conversation that may offend the other party and seems to result in the end of the on going conversation, in which case, you should either re-evaluate your opinion or keep you pie hole shut on that issue. At the very least save it until a time that that person has a better understanding of who you are. Unless you have extreme views though this is unlikely cause of the person disappearing.

There can be a million reasons why someone "ghosted" you. Ultimately, there are really two rather big culprits that encompass the vast majority of cases. They lost or didn't have that much interest in you in the first place and/or they are really looking more for a pen pal more than a date. I've found the latter of these two to be way more common than one would think. If they have lost or equally likely never had much interest in you in the first place. There isn't really much you can do to overcome that but I again re-iterate what I said at the top of the page. Hone your skills at determining if the person is just being polite. My method of dealing with the pen pal person can also help the losing of interest but not the having no interest in the first place, so read on.

The Pen Pal thing is far more common than most realize. I believe a sizeable percentage (50%) of the people on personal websites are really seeking to fill some loneliness void but do not actually want to meet. It is either that or they are just looking to chat for that evening but not really any more. How did I get there? Ultimately experience has taught me this. I have the gift of being able to hold a conversation about many topics. I also understand the ebb and flow of conversation and when the other party is interested in me and things are going well. At a certain point though that conversation has to turn into action (an actual meeting) something I can sense (by the conversation) when the timing is appropriate. On numerous occasions, when the point has come to meet and an offer has been extended the person suddenly disappears. While nobody is exempt from being knocked out of the saddle by a third party, this really isn't the case that often as most times people juggle the two suitors. The telltale sign is that person stays active on the website, never really changing their behavior like they found someone. The second clue is that they tend never initiate conversation with you again (even after and extended period of time), although they might chat periodically (usually because you initiated) with you but not enough to get close. The reason for this........... for them they know you will want to pick up from where you left off or close to it and that means meet either almost immediately or soon thereafter. Obviously not what they want. They will want to move on to another party where they can start the process all over again. Clearly this happens to women more than men but it can happen to both. How do I know this happens to women? I read a lot of women's profiles and I routinely come across the line "I'm not looking for pen pals". So I know it happens to both sides. The best method of dealing with this is to do a public meet and greet sooner than later. Do not get into marathon email/texting/chatting conversations with regularity until you meet.

Sadly, not everybody on singles sites is looking for a relationship and they use the fact that others are to fill their void.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 20
What happened to him
Posted: 10/27/2016 10:07:32 AM
Msg 10 NAILED IT !
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