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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > The Older the Guy The More they Are Jerks or is it Me?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 nataly66687
Joined: 5/18/2016
Msg: 1
The Older the Guy The More they Are Jerks or is it Me?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I was on one of the dating sites, I am a member of and this guy messages me, he's 39, him and I have a lot in common, so we exchange numbers, and he texts me, and I respond, sending him a photo of myself, of how I was looking right then and there, light in my room wasn't that great, but I wanted to prove to him I was real and not catfishing him or anything. I then sent him some other photos of myself I had taken a few hours earlier during the day time. I told him my name was Natalie.

[IMG]http://i63.tinypic.com/2z7e4i1.jpg[/IMG]

[IMG]http://i64.tinypic.com/az99w4.jpg[/IMG]

[IMG]http://i68.tinypic.com/2j2zxg3.jpg[/IMG]

[IMG]http://i68.tinypic.com/2lsdvd5.jpg[/IMG]

When it came down to his response to my photos he had said this

"That's not you. Is your real name Nate or something? Is this a joke?"

He had then said " I may be a jerk at times but I'm not a dirt bag so you don't have to prove anything. [B]Those pics aren't the same person.[/B] And if I'm gonna have to be a jerk please don't make me feel like an ***hole. Sorry I wasted your time."

Hearing this from a 39 year old man hurt, I thought maybe as old as he was he would be mature and respectful but nope. As far as me and my looks and my photos, I don't know what to do, but every time I talk to someone new, the guy always has to go and say how I look like a man.

I just want it to stop but it keeps happening. I really don't know what to do here. :(
 BlasphemousBombshell
Joined: 9/27/2016
Msg: 2
The Older the Guy The More they Are Jerks or is it Me?
Posted: 11/16/2016 1:39:51 PM
We all inherit something about ourselves we don't like, and we learn to compensate for those things or create work arounds to make them more subtle. I wear spanx to my make my chest look smaller because i am not enduring that nasty reduction surgery. I wear thigh highs cause the upper part of my legs just aren't as taut as it used to be before I had my kids. I wear my hair long because I have a big round face and if I cut it my head looks huge. I learned how to put on make up so my eyes appear bigger so my nose (which is bigger than I like) is less focused on.

I have read numerous posts by you complaining about how men keep saying you are masculine appearing. If it bothers you so profoundly, why aren't you looking up tips on youtube as to how to do your make up to tone the masculine features down and boost your feminine appearance up?

Women tend to have larger eyes than men (there are ways you can do your make up to create this), they have larger lips than men and a smaller septum (you can do your make up to effect this too) Women have smaller mandibles than men and more fat deposits in their face. There are all kinds of things with highlighters and bronzers that can change the shape of your face (I use them to thin out my face), a great deal of women use these and put their profile pictures with both make up on and off (I do this too) so that the man goes in knowing what I look like naturally, and how I can "clean up" to look.

Clothing and accessories do a lot too...
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 4
The Older the Guy The More they Are Jerks or is it Me?
Posted: 11/16/2016 4:17:53 PM

The Older the Guy The More they Are Jerks


Oh I agree.

It those ancient phuckers you have to watch out for.

I know guys that are always smoking dope, drinking whiskey and wasting time tossing feathers into running rivers.

Idiots.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 5
The Older the Guy The More they Are Jerks or is it Me?
Posted: 11/16/2016 4:56:54 PM
I would agree that older guys can be jerks. Sometimes they don't put out. It's rude.
 halforhalfnot
Joined: 9/13/2016
Msg: 6
The Older the Guy The More they Are Jerks or is it Me?
Posted: 11/16/2016 5:08:40 PM
Sometimes older guys just aren't feeling it. Sometimes they have erectile dysfunction. Sometimes they're just not into you.

Get over it.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 7
The Older the Guy The More they Are Jerks or is it Me?
Posted: 11/16/2016 5:22:46 PM
^ I'll remember that when you need your diaper changed.
 halforhalfnot
Joined: 9/13/2016
Msg: 8
The Older the Guy The More they Are Jerks or is it Me?
Posted: 11/16/2016 5:32:35 PM
Speaking of which......
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 9
The Older the Guy The More they Are Jerks or is it Me?
Posted: 11/16/2016 5:35:28 PM
Suddenly there's something weird about your facial expression.
 prime ribb
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 10
The Older the Guy The More they Are Jerks or is it Me?
Posted: 11/18/2016 5:54:09 AM
That sucks! Next time you run into a guy like that, cut him off like an unpaid electric bill. Lights out and leave him in the dark and let him wonder what happened. When he started doubting who you were and making unkind remarks was when you should've promptly stopped the conversation. Other than that, I like your new pics and good luck with your search. It's tough out there but with online dating you have to have a thick skin.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 11
The Older the Guy The More they Are Jerks or is it Me?
Posted: 11/18/2016 8:56:28 AM
OP: Your dad is over 35. Is he more of a jerk now?
 Strider324
Joined: 2/17/2016
Msg: 12
The Older the Guy The More they Are Jerks or is it Me?
Posted: 11/21/2016 5:09:23 PM
OP - I'm afraid it's you.
 GhettoFoot
Joined: 9/4/2016
Msg: 13
The Older the Guy The More they Are Jerks or is it Me?
Posted: 11/21/2016 6:28:57 PM
^ agreed with Strider. You always have the same whiny, woe-is-me story about how everyone is mean to you and thinks you're ugly. Age is irrelevant. Those pictures were the most unflattering pictures possible to send to someone. Put your better foot forward if you want to find a partner. I wouldn't send my ghastliest of photos to a guy and think he'll still want to talk to me.
 loveisatemple
Joined: 3/28/2014
Msg: 14
The Older the Guy The More they Are Jerks or is it Me?
Posted: 11/21/2016 11:32:35 PM
It is online "dating".

It brings out the non healthy, creepy, socially arrested %^#$#$^^. Meet in real life. It requires conversational skills, though.
 moonbeamlover1
Joined: 11/10/2016
Msg: 15
The Older the Guy The More they Are Jerks or is it Me?
Posted: 11/22/2016 7:48:50 AM
op the second someone tries to out you on the defensive to prove something to him? You politely duck out.

and if someone outright insults you? Don't even respond... just block him. He is not worth another second of your time.

and there are things you can do that will soften your features and feminize your appearance if you would like to change your image.

if you are wanting that for any reason and are not sure where to start email me and I can give you s few things that can help. but outside is only window dressing.., what you feel inside is what will matter most.

either way good luck ;)
 nataly66687
Joined: 5/18/2016
Msg: 16
The Older the Guy The More they Are Jerks or is it Me?
Posted: 11/27/2016 9:48:45 PM
It's okay, I will find someone else that will accept me for me, and I will ignore these jerks.
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 17
view profile
History
The Older the Guy The More they Are Jerks or is it Me?
Posted: 11/28/2016 1:45:54 AM
Well, I am older, and I don't think I am a jerk., or at least I hope I am not one. I was looking through your photos, and I think it could be your camera angle that is the problem. You are a very small, pretty, and petite lady so I think the camera is put too low and in doing so it makes your jaw line look more profound than it actually is. Try again with the lens above your eye-line. From your photos I think you are trying to sell yourself as a quirky small woman who has a slight wild streak, but is still a good girl. I think you should work with that and show more photos that display that quality about yourself. I hope I didn't come off as a jerk. :/
 nataly66687
Joined: 5/18/2016
Msg: 18
The Older the Guy The More they Are Jerks or is it Me?
Posted: 11/29/2016 12:24:53 AM
Well you were a jerk, YOU ASS H0LE! You go and tell me I look more manly due to my jawline and that hurts but you sure don't give a crap!

Screw you alright, I will take photos the way I WANT TOO. END OF STORY. If no man accepts me for me they are all ***holes just like you!
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 19
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History
The Older the Guy The More they Are Jerks or is it Me?
Posted: 11/29/2016 12:57:38 AM
Nowhere did I say you look manly, nor did I imply it. Where did you get that from anyway? I am sorry if you took it that way, but that was not what I was saying. I was just saying the camera position was possibly creating an optical illusion. Sheesh, I was just trying to be helpful, not insult you. It is your profile, so do whatever. Oh and just so you know, if you fly off the handle on every bit of constructive advice, you got alot more problems than what you might or might not look like.

Here is some tips... you are welcome...
http://rachaelfosterphoto.com/blog/2014/1/22/how-to-take-better-selfies-angle-and-distance
 IReallyShouldnt
Joined: 9/6/2016
Msg: 20
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History
There is a jerk in this thread and "we" know who it is.
Posted: 11/29/2016 1:15:47 AM
^^^
Basilisk,
Please read Nat's history of posting if you have a few minutes...
She tends to be offensive.

I thought your comment to her was constructive.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 7/1/2016
Msg: 21
There is a jerk in this thread and we know who it is.
Posted: 11/29/2016 7:28:47 AM
I think there is something going on here.
Not sure what the point is or the expected end result.
But the reality is:

Natalie has manly facial features.
What to do about it? Many have offered helpful hints as far as make up, clothing,
pictures and she has rebuffed everyone. I don't think she's interested in anything
but winding up herself and others. If she was actually interested in meeting someone,
she would take the advice she is asking for.

I have my own suspicions about what's going on, and I think the whole situation is sad.

I really wish the best for you Natalie...and I hope you find your way someday.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 22
There is a jerk in this thread and we know who it is.
Posted: 11/29/2016 10:13:43 AM
basilisk123 - you were definitely not being an AH but offering helpful advice.
But now we clearly can tell who the azzhole is
 pfif
Joined: 8/25/2013
Msg: 23
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History
The Older the Guy The More they Are Jerks or is it Me?
Posted: 11/29/2016 12:27:05 PM
Nataly:

You just need the right photos. You have features that do
attest to your gender, such as your forehead, that men do
not have.

Seems to me you also have a profile (facial) that works quite
well, and more or less masks your one prominent 'problem'
feature (front-facing portrait, with the wrong lighting, that
shows a distinctive jawline people are confused by enough to
suppose there's a gender question).

So, try facing 2/3 to the camera, instead of straight on; and
try both sides of your face in this. One may work better than
another.

Lighting is hugely important. A skilled portrait photographer's
fee might save you a lot of unnecessary distractions, so you can
get down to the business of presenting the sum of who you are,
to your prospective dates (in the online context).

Hope this is of some benefit to you. Hang in there. -pfif
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 24
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History
The Older the Guy The More they Are Jerks or is it Me?
Posted: 11/29/2016 4:57:40 PM
I have a big nose,,, kinda wish i had something done about it 20 years ago,, but the nose is what it is.
Your looks are what they are, you have strong features. Maybe do pics of you w/ a mona lisa smile or the Shy Di look. Its flirty and changes the angle of your features.
 nataly66687
Joined: 5/18/2016
Msg: 25
The Older the Guy The More they Are Jerks or is it Me?
Posted: 11/29/2016 5:35:37 PM
Sorry but ALL OF YOU ARE WRONG LIKE YOU ALWAYS HAVE BEEN THIS WHOLE TIME.

Don't you all get it. NO MATTER, I REPEAT, NO MATTER WHAT I DO. I am ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS TOLD I look like a man or asked if I am a transgender person.

I could take a photo of me standing upside down for pete's sake and be told I look like man!

I don't want to be told I look like a man anymore.

No matter what outfit, or what direction I look up, down, left right, slightly to one side, whatever, I am always told the same things AGAIN AND AGAIN.

Even if I dress up looking AMAZING i am told the SAME THING.

So THERE.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 26
The Older the Guy The More they Are Jerks or is it Me?
Posted: 11/29/2016 5:37:44 PM
^ You mustn't yell, Hon. It's not ladylike.
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