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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Girl  > Shoud I ever go back to this library?      Home login  
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 ssharm02
Joined: 11/25/2016
Msg: 1
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Shoud I ever go back to this library?Page 1 of 1    
Hello ladies, last year I was studying at this really good library near my school and work. I was quietly doing my work diligently day in and out (studying comp science). Now there was this really cute librarian there who kinda liked me and tried a few times to talk to me, but I just ignored her and concentrated on my work. So one day, I was walking out to get coffee, she saw my car (I drive a very nice brand new car). And from that day onward for the next 2 months, she tried very hard to get my attention, distracting me in multiple ways while I was studying, but I just ignored her. So one day (valentines day) I decided to ask her out, while she was walking out (in the parking lot, lots of day light at around 5 PM!), she rejected me and that was that. I thought she liked me, but whatever....So when I went back to the library, all the librarians were pissed, they came upto me to check what i was doing, it was all very unnecessary, I knew the situation was bad so I decided to walk away quietly. I only went up to her (while maintain physical distance) and asked her, "Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?" She said, "No, no I am not interested, sorry". And that was that, I walked away heartbroken (I had a crush on her)

I stopped going there until the semester ended. So I come back in September, the librarian actually banned my car from the parking lot (since she knows what I drive). There is this huge parking lot between my school and the library, its meant for a sports complex, but I just parked there (at a particular spot thats protected by curbs since I don't want my car to get scratched or damaged) so I wouldn't have to pay for parking.

I was wondering what to do with this situation, its been eating me since September. Not only did she flag and ban my car, making my life harder, she now parks in the exact parking spot where I parked my car for 1 year. Is she trying to get a reaction of out me? But that seemed very excessive to me :/ why would you ban my car after 8 months? Should I ever return to this library? I only went there to study and maintain a good GPA, the girl was getting to me though... and I did something stupid

I spoke to some friends and they said this girl is crazy, she might call the cops if i do go back. My mom told me to avoid this library. What do you guys think>? Thanks for the replies
 ssharm02
Joined: 11/25/2016
Msg: 2
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Shoud I ever go back to this library?
Posted: 12/4/2016 3:52:24 PM
BTW I should mention, I don't really know anything about women, I am extremely nerdy and I don't even know how to talk to girls. I approached her in the parking lot! That might have spooked her or scared her? She seemed like a very nice gal and its a good library >_< I should have kept my mouth shut!
 VikingHoosier
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 3
Shoud I ever go back to this library?
Posted: 12/4/2016 3:59:52 PM
She should be fired. Tell whoever is in charge of the library she harassed you and that you'll sue the library for negligence and pain and suffering if they don't fire her.
 ssharm02
Joined: 11/25/2016
Msg: 4
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Shoud I ever go back to this library?
Posted: 12/4/2016 4:04:40 PM
This is interesting, I there are certain ethics of being a librarian. Librarians shouldn't be proactively distracting patrons while they are studying. This girl went all out on me doing multiple things. I kept ignoring her, but she kept at it. Although my actions were completely stupid (valentines day got me good), she should ignored me and done her job. I guess at the end of the day the fault is my own! :( I can't really blame her
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 5
Shoud I ever go back to this library?
Posted: 12/4/2016 5:41:52 PM
Having worked in several school and public libraries, I must first say I have a hard time believing your story.

That said, if it is true, then that librarian is walking a very thin line (and may have crossed it) of the ALA's Code of Ethics for professional librarians. Specifically code of conduct #VI and VII.

OT, no you should not go to that library. Study at your school library, or local coffee shop, or home, or any multitude of areas where someone isn't going out of their way to distract, harass, or tease you.
 ssharm02
Joined: 11/25/2016
Msg: 6
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Shoud I ever go back to this library?
Posted: 12/4/2016 5:53:07 PM
Mam, I can assure this story is 100% true. That's why the question about the ethics popped up in my mind recently. But I am agreement with you about not going back to this library. She was distracting me way too much unnecessarily even when I shunned her advances.

I really hope she doesn't do it to another patron in the future. This said library is near a really good school with really difficult computer science/information security and engineering programs. Lots of my classmates etc prefer to study at this library, she might ruin their studies or worse they would lose a cool place to study.

Her behavior was just bizarre...
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 7
Shoud I ever go back to this library?
Posted: 12/4/2016 6:07:57 PM
I am with Cyn, not buying it
You shunned her advances? wait you said you were digging her
I'm betting YOU did something bizarre.. now trying to get her in trouble
Books exist lots of places
 ssharm02
Joined: 11/25/2016
Msg: 8
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Shoud I ever go back to this library?
Posted: 12/4/2016 6:14:27 PM
I shunned her advances because computer science is very hard :P I have to write long and complex algorithms to solve multitude of problems and deal with advance math as well. I needed a quiet distraction free place where I could just do my thing uninterrupted alone. But I have to be honest with you, all this coding and math...the loneliness really gets to you at times. At the time I was working part time at Walmart as a cashier and people were buying flowers and cards for their girlfriends/wives. It REALLY got to me, both Valentines day and this librarian hoovering over me 24/7. It was then I decided to ask her out.

I did nothing bizarre, unless you consider approaching a woman in a parking lot to be bad/creepy etc.
 ssharm02
Joined: 11/25/2016
Msg: 9
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Shoud I ever go back to this library?
Posted: 12/4/2016 6:16:10 PM
1 more thing, I would never try to get her into trouble. I walked out simple. I don't want to sue the library or have her lose her job. That's just mean/evil. At the end of the day I decided to approach her.
 Etritonakin
Joined: 11/25/2016
Msg: 10
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Shoud I ever go back to this library?
Posted: 12/4/2016 7:54:13 PM
She likely felt hurt that you ignored her initially and was trying to hurt you.
You are probably lucky she did not accept. Better you find these things out early.

However, I would definitely advise not asking someone out in a parking lot.
I think I would even wonder what was going on if a woman asked me out in a parking lot.
I would be looking around wondering what was about to happen.
In the library -while she was safely behind a desk -would probably have been a better place to ask -but may not have made a difference in this case.
You definitely want to do your best to make sure they do not feel vulnerable, unsafe, threatened, etc.
 ssharm02
Joined: 11/25/2016
Msg: 11
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Shoud I ever go back to this library?
Posted: 12/4/2016 8:09:37 PM
yea great advice. I really shouldn't have done it in the parking lot. I am a complete fool, I really feel bad now. I am just a nerdy guy, I didn't want to hurt anyone. So sad this all happened :( reputation down the toilet
 ssharm02
Joined: 11/25/2016
Msg: 12
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Shoud I ever go back to this library?
Posted: 12/4/2016 8:44:52 PM
Final thoughts, I am done with that library. The stuff I am working is too complex, I doubt I would be able to concentrate their, plus it would be awkward for her as well. Time to move on to another library and another parking spot for good. Next time I have a crush on someone, I won't wait as long and won't approach them in a parking lot. So sad all this happened, I should have asked someone

I felt like leaving a letter of apology on her car, but I guess I shouldn't do that either?!
 Etritonakin
Joined: 11/25/2016
Msg: 13
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Shoud I ever go back to this library?
Posted: 12/4/2016 9:11:20 PM
Whoah -don't worry about it. It isn't inherently wrong -just a sign of the times.

Banning you car (never heard of that) is pretty weird. Turning other people against you for asking her out -also weird.

You seem reasonable -so you might want to clear up any misunderstanding -but that is not likely to happen.

If you can avoid that library without inconvenience, it might be best -but I wouldn't hesitate to go there if necessary.

You asked someone out -no biggie.

Definitely avoid her, though -just go about your business.
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 14
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Shoud I ever go back to this library?
Posted: 12/4/2016 9:27:10 PM

I felt like leaving a letter of apology on her car, but I guess I shouldn't do that either?!


Sounds like a Great Idea! Open an account with a local bail bondsman first.

PS: So many doubtful postings recently. Are people posting to gather material for class papers or creative writing courses. In general, the longer the initial post the more doubtful I am.
 ssharm02
Joined: 11/25/2016
Msg: 15
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Shoud I ever go back to this library?
Posted: 12/4/2016 9:28:17 PM
thanks for the good advice, you sound a good guy. Sign of the times, well said. So much negativity and sadness around us, an innocent request turned to be a nightmare for me. jeez

"Sounds like a Great Idea! Open an account with a local bail bondsman first.

PS: So many doubtful postings recently. Are people posting to gather material for class papers or creative writing courses. In general, the longer the initial post the more doubtful I am."

I am studying computer science, I don't have time for creative writing XD I was just asking for advice. I think I need to learn how to talk to women, I study too much.

Thank you all for the insight!
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 16
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Shoud I ever go back to this library?
Posted: 12/5/2016 7:52:09 AM
Why are you blaming yourself. That girl was a **** up. Don't wear it. So what you asked her out in a parking lot at a facility where you saw her often and it was an innocuous opportunity for you to ask her out for coffee or whatever you suggested. There is not one thing wrong with that. You were not a stranger approaching her for the first time in a parking lot. It was not an awkward thing to do since that is the place where you first met her.

YES.. you should go back to that library and speak to whom ever is in charge. Talk to the head honcho and tell him about this narcissistic abuse you are having to endure from this stuck up, pent up, creepy librarian. It is not your job to figure out what the **** is wrong with her but you should report her so she doesn't play her song and dance on the next guy that she wants attention from.

YES.. threaten to sue them. If the library is privately owned by university or college send a letter to the board of directors. If it is funded by taxpayers dollars... find out who runs the show and stop this idiot librarians game playing and passive aggressive behavior. She was not doing her JOB.. and it should be handled by the appropriate authorities. She was flirting and distracting you. REPORT her. This is not "revenge". Consider it an action that just might save future patrons of that library. She should not get away with the way she treated you. Uncalled for and abusive.

You had a crush on a psycho. Count your blessings. God did for you what you couldn't do for yourself.. and you did not get involved with her. She sounds like a bunny boiler.

.
 CarefreeBeauty
Joined: 5/30/2014
Msg: 17
Shoud I ever go back to this library?
Posted: 12/5/2016 8:27:15 AM

I am with Cyn, not buying it
You shunned her advances? wait you said you were digging her
I'm betting YOU did something bizarre.. now trying to get her in trouble
Books exist lots of places


+1

I smell a troll with a 'sexy librarian' fantasy. (yes I used to work at a public library---these things happen all the time...)
He has a brand new pretty much 'empty' profile and states he is 108 years of age. I say 'creep library patron' NOT creepy librarian!
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 18
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Shoud I ever go back to this library?
Posted: 12/5/2016 10:03:17 AM
So much of this story doesn't add up.

How is a student affording a brand new car?
Why are you in the library every day, dont you have classes and/or work?
Why do you park in the same spot every day?
Why would it bother you if she parked in 'your' sport?
Why would you ignore a girl being friendly?
How is "Hey can I talk to you for a minute?" something ok to say to someone in a car park?
How would she know that you were asking her out if you just asked her to talk.

I'm guessing you are only giving us a version of the story that makes you look good.



That being said if what you have told us is 100% then, for whatever reason, you have upset his girl and she doesnt want to be near you. Maybe you freaked her out approaching her, I don't know. But you have to respect that she is upset. You can't control what she thinks, feels or does, only what you think feel and do. Best advice, ignore her, move on from the situation and get on with your life. If you can go to the library JUST TO STUDY then do that, but if you can't go there without wanting to talk to her, or it being awkward or it weighing on your mind then find somewhere else to study.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 19
Shoud I ever go back to this library?
Posted: 12/5/2016 10:09:15 AM
"I'm guessing you are only giving us a version of the story that makes you look good"



That's usually how it goes, hence 3 sides to every story
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 20
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Shoud I ever go back to this library?
Posted: 12/5/2016 3:30:16 PM
Okay it is an iffy story but I will bite.

I think you both need to grow up. You sound avout 15 but if you have a car I am assuming you are somewhat older. She is not interested in you, forget it and move on. Your reputation?? People dont spend their lives wondering or talking about you.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 21
Shoud I ever go back to this library?
Posted: 12/5/2016 3:39:15 PM
No









I do not think you should
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