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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Can i get used to a heavy smoker?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 ripcurl32777
Joined: 2/5/2014
Msg: 1
Can i get used to a heavy smoker? Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Does anyone think I can get used to a heavy smoker? She needs to smoke every hour. Its her house and she will do it in the kitchen by the window with the fan blowng outside. I get bad headaches from anyone smoking like instantly, even at a red light in traffic if the cars smoking next to me i can smell it. Unless im drunk i dont get the headaches. My life right now is full of problems and will continue so I dont date often but this one likes me and looks past my problems but as of now im not still going to see her and i didnt have the heart to tell her why although she didnt ask or I would have. if she did the patch around me would that suffice for her do you think? i never smoked i dont know what im missing out on. Weed doesnt give me a headache thats the funny thing although I dont do that either.
 Yule_liquor
Joined: 12/7/2011
Msg: 2
Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/4/2016 8:29:37 PM

i never smoked i dont know what im missing out on.


Heart disease; stroke; high blood pressure; COPD; lung cancer..... and far less money in your pocket


I get bad headaches from anyone smoking like instantly,


consider yourself lucky as hell; and move on!
There will be others!
 moonbeamlover1
Joined: 11/10/2016
Msg: 3
Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/4/2016 9:00:52 PM
I tried to get used to it ( though mine was every ten to fifteen minutes not every hour) and it hit me pneumonia.

if it is causing you to leave you need to say why. I did not ask my guy to quit just smoke outside ( he wouldn't even do it out a window) , he couldn't. but at least I have him the knowledge of why I couldn't stay. his compromise was to let me use his inhaler... but trying to treat something someone's behavior constantly caused felt stupid... I wished him well but won't date him. sounds op like you are clear on that so you already answered your own question. why live with headaches if you don't have to?

good luck with whatever is going on...
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 4
Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/4/2016 9:32:07 PM
actually, its your body that has to get used to it. your mind can only do so much.

its hard to pass up someone who will accept your issues, but...if your body can't handle the pollutants, its going to continue being an issue. But if you keep dating, you pull her in closer and closer....only to dump her later when the smoking becomes too much for your body. its best to break things off now rather than after feelings have developed.
 cookymaker
Joined: 6/28/2014
Msg: 5
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Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/4/2016 9:42:01 PM
I quit smoking 16 years ago --and have on my profile that I don't smoke and prefer non smokers

However - a person I met here is a smoker - but does not smoke in my house nor even asks if he can. He goes outside, keeps an empty soda can to put his ashes and cigarette butts in. I don't have to deal with nicotine stained walls or the scent of tobacco on my curtains and clothes. We have developed a good friendship and he is here often because he is doing my remodeling with me.
My concern with him is that it is destroying his health but of course cannot make him quit -- he has to want to.

We all have issues but in some cases there needs to be compromise or it will not work.


 LLove2LaughToo
Joined: 6/6/2016
Msg: 6
Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/4/2016 9:42:52 PM
Why can't you be honest and tell her the truth?
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 7
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Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/5/2016 5:00:56 AM

as of now im not still going to see her and i didnt have the heart to tell her why
I don't understand why not? Of all the reasons to stop seeing someone, smoking would have to be one of the most understandable and valid. Also, you are denying her the opportunity to consider quitting if she wants to keep dating you. To not tell her the honest reason why you are calling it quits seems really silly and illogical. It also seems a bit weird that she wouldn't ask you why you were ending it.

No point asking us if the patches will suffice for her - she is the only one that can answer that question.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 8
Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/5/2016 5:01:38 AM
suggest she use e cigs/vaps when you are over. And yea you can get used to it but why risk getting sick?
 browneyesboo
Joined: 7/1/2016
Msg: 9
Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/5/2016 7:10:01 AM
I've never smoked either, and I've not gotten used to the smell.
It's usually everywhere.
I can hang around with people that smoke, but I couldn't be in a
relationship with someone that did.

I wouldn't even start one.
 Cdan1957
Joined: 9/17/2013
Msg: 10
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Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/5/2016 7:16:57 AM
I smoke my fiance doesn't. I never smoke inside or in the car. She is urging me to quit and I do want to and hopefully will at some point. The point is that if you tell her you may find an acceptable compromise, of course you may not. Only one way to find out, tell her. I would tell her that it bothers you to the point it makes you ill and see what she says.
 IgottaName
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 11
Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/5/2016 7:19:27 AM
I don't know, can you?
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 12
Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/5/2016 7:50:46 AM
Let me see if I understand correctly. You won't tell her the truth?

And/because your OP indicates you are desperate for female company?

Is that a fair assessment...?

DESPERATION is never an excuse for any kind of Relationship.

Also, your OP makes you fair game for a profile check. Your profile needs a checkup. [IMO]

And, as far as smokers? I have been rooting around on this planet for 64 years now. SOME smokers can or will make some concessions to/for a partner. At least early on. Maybe even give them up.

Temporarily.

Permanent changes will only come though if and ONLY if they do it for themselves.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 13
Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/5/2016 8:49:55 AM

I get bad headaches from anyone smoking like instantly, even at a red light in traffic if the cars smoking next to me i can smell it.


That's very weird. If you and the driver next to you have the car windows rolled up-or if just you have the car windows rolled up, can you still smell the smoke in the other person's car? Wouldn't car exhaust from the car in front of you bother you as well if you're smelling is ultra-sensitive? Part 2 of weird is you don't get headaches from cigarette smoke when you're drunk.

Why would you date someone who is a smoker in the first place if you're so sensitive to it? What is the smoking policy when she's at your place, since you only mentioned her smoking habits at her place? It seems like a simple solution to me-date a non-smoker.
 PlutoLover68
Joined: 7/28/2016
Msg: 14
Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/5/2016 8:57:39 AM
For me, its just a no. Smoking is on my short list of things I cant really tolerate. Maybe an occasional smoke while out drinking, but that's my limit. I lost both of my parents to smoking related lung cancer, when I was in my 30's. Its not something I take lightly.

But, if you like her and are interested in a relationship with her, be honest tell her whats up. Give her an opportunity to make the change.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 15
Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/5/2016 8:58:38 AM
"as of now im not still going to see her "


Then why ask the question ????
 ripcurl32777
Joined: 2/5/2014
Msg: 16
Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/5/2016 10:38:34 AM
we were friends that started spending "time" together and we never had any discussion of dating but it was going in that direction. She didnt quit when her health was bad so she wont be quitting for any guy. No need to ask. just asking a smoker over 30 to quit is like asking someone to change religion. im suprised from reading this that more people dont get instant head aches from it. other smoke i can handle...car muffler smoke...campfire...weed..something about cigarettes is an instant headache with nausea
 2ufo2
Joined: 8/29/2016
Msg: 17
Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/5/2016 10:55:35 AM

No need to ask. just asking a smoker over 30 to quit is like asking someone to change religion.


The two people I know who quit were both over 30 (actually one over 40 one over 50) and there are quite a few people who change religion.

You don't have to ask her to quit, but you should explain why you can't or won't date her.
 maybeebaybee1
Joined: 10/23/2016
Msg: 18
Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/5/2016 12:39:32 PM
OP, she can't just randomly use a patch when she's around you, then smoke like an old train when you're apart. She'll have an overdose of nicotine in her system and probably get really sick. I'm an ex-smoker and I absolutely cannot be around anyone who smokes. Even if they don't do it around me, it's in their clothes, hair, mouth. The smell makes me nauseous.

I guess if you like someone enough people are willing to overlook almost anything, so I guess it depends on how much you like her. And whether you'll still like her when she wakes up coughing so hard you think her lung is going to fly across the room. Or wait til she gets pneumonia.
 JS3344
Joined: 2/12/2013
Msg: 19
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Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/5/2016 12:45:47 PM
i would stay with her just long enough, to see her take a bong hit through the hole in her neck!
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 20
Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/5/2016 4:50:14 PM
Don't get headaches from it, but sometimes at the local casino where smoking is allowed, it can sometimes give me a stomach ache. As for car muffler smoke, its better with Cam 2.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 21
Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/5/2016 6:05:00 PM
JS - yea I hope he stays around long enuff to dance on your grave
AH
Sigh... why say such crap Grandpa?
 UnKnownNYMale
Joined: 6/24/2014
Msg: 22
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Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/6/2016 12:31:43 PM

just asking a smoker over 30 to quit is like asking someone to change religion.


I certainly wouldn't go that far. In fact, I think it's over 30 when most people that do quit smoking, do.

You're invincible as a teenager, and young adult, and nothing can hurt you. It's only after smoking for a good amount of time that it starts taking a toll on your body and your health, and then you realize it, and want to quit. By that time, you are certainly over 30 before you wise up and even try to quit.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 23
Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/6/2016 12:37:16 PM
"You're invincible as a teenager, and young adult, and nothing can hurt you "



That is only true if you came from the planet Krypton



Someone tell this guy he reads too many comic books !
 VikingHoosier
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 24
Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/6/2016 12:52:38 PM


It's only after smoking for a good amount of time that it starts taking a toll on your body and your health


Perhaps the above might be true about some smokers, but secondhand smoke has an immediate effect on the body/health of nonsmokers. The OP feels sick from the slightest amounts of secondhand smoke. His issue is a non brainer: leave her. Tell her you can't be with her because of the smoking. If she asks why you tried being with her in the first place, say you gave it a try and determined you cannot be around anyone who smokes. Doubtful she would consider going to a patch and ending cigarettes. Even if she did, her home and vehicle will reek of the smoke for a long time.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 25
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Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/6/2016 1:22:32 PM
Don't date a smoker. Just move on.
My skin is really sensitive to smoke and it will literally turn red when I'm around people smoking. I remember looking like I ate some kind of poisonous fish after being at a Halloween party where people were smoking.
You can usually tell who smokes and who doesn't by looking at profiles and reading their age and looking at their picture before you look to see if they're a smoker. People don't realize how much it ages you.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Can i get used to a heavy smoker?