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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > 1 month again returns but does he want to date me?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 nataly66687
Joined: 5/18/2016
Msg: 1
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?Page 1 of 26    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26)
A few months ago, I dated this one guy for 1 month, but things didn't work out between us. Then the week of Thanksgiving he messages me online and we both started talking again, and wanted to date one another again. This is the chat we had about trying to set up our first date together.

On November 25th

HIM: "So. Tomorrow or Sunday?"

ME: "I don't know. I heard it was going to rain this weekend. lol"

HIM" OK. We can stay in. I know you are very cautious, but I would enjoy watching a movie at your home with you. But we can wait for that."

ME: "Yeah let's hold off on that for another time. We could try doing Sunday's Christmas event out in Hollywood, but again with the rain, who knows how it will go down or if it will still happen. My phone says it will rain sometime this weekend unless it's lying lol."

HIM: "Google says rain."

ME: "What do you think? Are you able to drive in the rain or you rather not take a chance, plus it is also still black friday/thanksgiving time so crowds may be packed. what do you think we should do?"

HIM: "I'll drive in the rain, but I don't want to be outside in the rain."

ME: "Okay lol."

On November 27th - DATE DAY

ME: "So did you still want to go out today or want to hold off until this week/weekend?" Referring to the week of December 1st

HIM: "Next week is better. It's raining a lot here."

ME: "Okay."

So DATE 1 did not happen due to the weather.

BUT the week of December 1st and its weekend came and went and DATE 1 make up never happened.

Last time I spoke to him was Friday December 2nd around 11AM since then no word about trying again as far as doing another make up date for DATE 1 or talking to me in general.

This guy says he does like me, and does want us to date again, but then again look what's happening. I am unsure on what to think or what to do. What should I do?
 VikingHoosier
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 2
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/6/2016 10:40:19 AM
Call him. Express an interest in going out. Is he the "new car guy" with whom you went on four dates?

If he's the new car guy, his tires should have good tread for safer driving in the rain, and you two could drive somewhere you could do something indoors.
 nataly66687
Joined: 5/18/2016
Msg: 3
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/6/2016 10:44:52 AM
Why should I be the one to call him and set up this date, that will only show I am interested and taking dating seriously. I want to see be the man and take things serious and show me he is interested in me. But him doing this to our first date, and it still not happening and now him not talking to me for 3 days, that tells me he isn't interested.
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 4
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1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/6/2016 11:00:22 AM
You could go to him, of course. Oh no... that's right... it's not what you do, is it?

Why should he be interested in someone who doesn't show any real interest? Maybe he's just remembered why he saw you as a lost cause in the first place, and found a better option.

Or maybe he's just been too busy. You'll never know unless you grow a pair and be a bit assertive.
 nataly66687
Joined: 5/18/2016
Msg: 5
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/6/2016 11:04:45 AM
Okay, so if you found a girl to your liking, and she did ALL THE CHASING, you would be OKAY with this? Wouldn't YOU want to be the man and do the move making and chasing, to show her you are interested.

I don't want to be the only one showing interest here. And he says he's not on any dating sites he cut those off after we stopped dating a while back. He wants to date me and only me, but we have yet to go on that first date.
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 6
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1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/6/2016 11:11:26 AM
For most people, the sweet spot is 50:50; give and take; he flirts, she flirts; he brings something, she brings something; he drives somewhere, she drives somewhere; he pays; she pays. It's not the 1950s.

He's either busy with life, or he isn't that interested. What are you going to do to find out?
 VikingHoosier
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 7
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/6/2016 11:16:21 AM
I agree with OrangeTiger.

Most likely he is busy. Many people work longer hours this time of year. Send him a text or leave a voice message asking when is the next time he is free to do something.

He has expressed that he likes you and wants to date you. How much interest have you showed him?

Is this is the guy who was mistreated by his ex and who might not have much experience in relationships? It would help to give him some encouragement and help his confidence.
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 8
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1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/6/2016 11:17:14 AM
#hesjustnothatintoyou
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 9
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/6/2016 11:20:15 AM

A few months ago, I dated this one guy for 1 month, but things didn't work out between us.


Is this the guy with the problems and you just knew you two were going to stay together forever and ever and help each other out with your problems, and we were all wrong?


What should I do?


Propose to him.
Then you will be together forever.
 nataly66687
Joined: 5/18/2016
Msg: 10
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/6/2016 11:26:38 AM
I am NOT going to be the chaser and doing all the chasing. None of you obviously DID NOT read what I had posted. Don't you see how we tried setting up date number 1, and it never happened and he never even addressed this and hasn't talked to me for a few days now. That hurts that our first date did not happen at the two shots we tried at it. Why should I be the one to always ask "hey are we hanging out this day and time?" let him be the man and let him set it up, if he wants me, he will come to me.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 11
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/6/2016 11:33:17 AM
"What should I do?"



Open a pickle jar ?
 VikingHoosier
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 12
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/6/2016 11:46:10 AM


On November 27th - DATE DAY

ME: "So did you still want to go out today or want to hold off until this week/weekend?" Referring to the week of December 1st

HIM: "Next week is better. It's raining a lot here."

ME: "Okay."

So DATE 1 did not happen due to the weather.

BUT the week of December 1st and its weekend came and went and DATE 1 make up never happened.

Last time I spoke to him was Friday December 2nd around 11AM since then no word about trying again as far as doing another make up date for DATE 1 or talking to me in general.

This guy says he does like me, and does want us to date again, but then again look what's happening. I am unsure on what to think or what to do. What should I do?


I read every word of your posts on this thread, and other posters probably did too.

The above quote from your first post on this thread doesn't give any details what you two said on December 2nd. Did either of you bring up the idea of doing something for the weekend?

Your thread title asks does he want to date you. You answer the question yourself: he says he wants to date again!

He has politely brought up ideas, for example watching a movie at your place. You declined his suggestion. A good move on your part would to be to offer an alternate idea. At the time, there were excuses of rain and shopping traffic. This coming weekend might not have those excuses.

At the very least, you could send him a short text. Even if you just say hi or ask how his day is, it could lead to him asking you out again. Many girls do this: they get the guy's attention by doing something small. It doesn't have to be considered chasing him, so you would be staying with your strategy of not chasing him, letting him be the man.
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 13
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Mo' Pickle Bluez
Posted: 12/6/2016 12:17:41 PM
BCC
"What should I do?"



Open a pickle jar ?

 2ufo2
Joined: 8/29/2016
Msg: 14
Mo' Pickle Bluez
Posted: 12/6/2016 12:56:58 PM
^^^
Probably not... someone said she opened it like a guy.
Or, so I've heard.

OP - Once again you're searching for an answer among a group of people who aren't going to feed your fantasy.

If you're interested, call him. While he may be too busy or too shy to contact you, IF he is NOT interested then you'll figure it out from the call. Or you can post it here and we'll figure it out - with an error margin of 20%.

Guys don't get 'chased' very often. When they are occasionally chased, they usually love it.
 nataly66687
Joined: 5/18/2016
Msg: 15
Mo' Pickle Bluez
Posted: 12/6/2016 1:27:14 PM
No, I heard guys don't like being chased, they back off and find that the girl is bothering them too much and they get scared and walk away. Him and I have just been talking basic stuff hey how are you, what you up too, neither one of us has said "hey we going to hang out this weekend". Because 1 I already did that twice and he didn't do anything with either times. So this time I want him to make the move and show the interest.

Again the first time was due to the weather and the second time he says "lets try next week/weekend" and then nothing was said from that point on. I would have said something, but again I WAS THE ONE TO bring up the date the first time. So he would have said something this time but did not.
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 16
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Mo' Pickle Bluez
Posted: 12/6/2016 1:31:13 PM

I am NOT going to be the chaser and doing all the chasing.


Either you like him or you don't. If you do, swallow your pride and ask him.

If you don't like the answers to your questions put here, why ask at all? We've been here many many times, haven't we?


None of you obviously DID NOT read what I had posted.


That's a double negative and what you're saying is that we ALL read what you posted. Knowing you, Nataly, I doubt you meant that. Either say: "obviously none of you read what I had posted" or "you obviously DID NOT read what I had posted." Just saying... ;o)
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 17
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Mo' Pickle Bluez
Posted: 12/6/2016 1:35:02 PM
By the way, 5/7 people have voted to have this thread deleted, citing that it's a redundant subject. It only requires two more and it's history. Don't waste threads on the mundane, Nataly. You're a grown woman; you should know your own mind by now.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 18
first he goes, now he wants to come
Posted: 12/6/2016 2:36:14 PM
My first gf chased me, and I said yes. But then she was skinny and hot to other guys. some guys can't handle a woman chasing them, but others are more than happy, if she's attractive. I wasn't all that interested in my first gf b/c of her personality and lack of brains, but then I said oh well WTF. As for my other relationships, whenever I pursue a woman she says no. My relationships all came from women chasing me.

So, what's the deal with this guy? well, as some pointed out, he may be putting out the minimal effort. He might be confused about your interest. If you don't chase him, he won't ever think you're obsessed and asking everyone you know what's up. The best rule of first dating is, just go and have fun with the other person's company. There shouldn't be any stress on you two for this date to end up in bed. Just enjoy what's there.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 19
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1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/6/2016 2:38:03 PM

Why should I be the one to call him and set up this date, that will only show I am interested and taking dating seriously. I want to see be the man and take things serious and show me he is interested in me. But him doing this to our first date, and it still not happening and now him not talking to me for 3 days, that tells me he isn't interested.


It takes less effort to call him than it does to post on a message board about it.
 moonbeamlover1
Joined: 11/10/2016
Msg: 20
Mo' Pickle Bluez
Posted: 12/6/2016 4:32:34 PM
op while I am not personally someone interested in someone that doesn't follow through on in person ... but you asked people what you should do... and you rejected every answer that you don't agree with. if you wanted a specific answer why ask people's opinions if you are going to throw out 80 percent of the answers ?
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 21
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Mo' Pickle Bluez
Posted: 12/6/2016 6:59:59 PM
Raining? Really raining? That is the strangest excuse I ever heard for not agreeing to a date. He had a car. You could have driven to a nice coffee shop or spent time at a mall or you could have gone bowling or something.
Raining. That was your excuse and not his from your original post. He offered other suggestions. You decided rain would be to your determent somehow and didn't make a plan. That is lame.

Your idea about cat and mouse games in relationships is immature, stunted and you are getting in your own way. You are the one who constantly makes these desperate posts about not being attractive and not being able to find anyone. Here is a guy who falls in your lap and you can not date him because of rain.

I wouldn't ask you out again either. Rain is not a tornado or a blizzard. WTF is wrong with you ?
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 22
Mo' Pickle Bluez
Posted: 12/6/2016 7:21:14 PM
I guess they don't sell umbrellas or hooded nylon jackets in her part of the world. If it was sunny out, would you cancel because of the chance of getting sun burnt?
 ebolakitty
Joined: 3/19/2016
Msg: 23
Mo' Pickle Bluez
Posted: 12/7/2016 2:46:31 AM
Let's be real here. Most of us would agree that Nat is a head case. There was enough in the reported conversation for the guy to figure that out. Sure, he is gone. Who wouldn't be? Even if she did chase, his likely answer would be no. He probably shivers when he thinks about how close he came. She needs to obstinately not look desperate for both his and her own sake.
 gotahubcapdiamondstarhalo
Joined: 9/21/2016
Msg: 24
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/7/2016 5:31:27 AM
You're a drag, Nataly.

"It might rain" "There may be crowds" "You don't want to drive in the rain, do you?" "I don't know. I heard it was going to rain this weekend. lol"

I've seen other threads where you do the same thing ... throw the guy's suggestion right back in his face without any real constructive input about an alternative plan. Just destroy his game plan and then turn around and ask him "what do you think we should do?"

He already told you!!!

You are a passive aggressive piece of work that has no intention of making yourself available to a guy. You chase them off, then come here and wonder what happened.

Maybe they come to realize that everything they suggest will be met with some Negative Nataly resistance.

It's one thing to not want to do the chasing, but when a guy you fancy suggests something, why not at least act as if you are interested?

If you think the way to a guy's heart is playing "hard to get," you better use the phone to order a pizza while you are sitting there waiting for his call.

Yes, Nataly ... you are doing everything right.
Feign disinterest, while coming here to dissect every nuance of the puzzling behavior of the male species.

Even when a guy asks you out, you immediately come up with a half dozen reasons why it's a bad idea. Then you wonder why they don't call back.

Sit at home in your ivory tower, where the guy will always have to retrieve you when the planets align to your liking. Never go outside the walls of your fortress unless the conditions are ideal. You may melt in the rain. If you drive, even in perfect weather, you may have a fatal car accident. Something tragic can happen to the bus on your way to the mall.

Gee, I just don't understand why guys aren't throwing themselves at your feet.

Well, maybe you will find that guy who "accepts you for you." There must be someone out there who likes to be rejected by a woman, over and over. Maybe you can even get paid for it. I'm afraid you would have to include some kind of pervy service, such as stepping on their nutz, or something, but hey, it's "not sex," so that should be o.k.

May be a good career path for you!

P.S. Putting lol after all your negative sh!t doesn't make it cute. You're not "cautious," you're just a tremendous pain in the ass. I think guys finally come to see that dating you is more trouble than it's worth.
So DATE 1 did not happen due to the weather.

You do realize that YOU are the one who made "the weather" an impossible obstacle, right? So DATE 1 did not happen due to the fact that you are just a giant Pain In The A$$.

No one wants to date someone like that.

"but then again look what's happening"

Yes, Nataly ... look, again (and again, and again, and again, etc.) at what's happening.

P.P.S. Buy an umbrella FFS.


From your thread, The Birthday Bluez:

Why I didn't call him, I figured he wouldn't have answered the phone or was busy or didn't wanna hang out so I didn't wanna be pushy.

I don't know what to think or do now.


Same as it ever was ... same as it ever was ... same as it ever was ... same as it ever was ... same as it ever was ... same as it ever was ... same as it ever was ... same as it ever was ...
 gotahubcapdiamondstarhalo
Joined: 9/21/2016
Msg: 25
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/7/2016 6:28:09 AM
Why do you post these questions, if you already have an answer with which you are comfortable?


if he wants me, he will come to me.



So, the answer is:

He gave you a second chance, but then he remembered how hard you make it to arrange a date, and that you are a massive PAIN IN THE A$$.

No. He does not want to date you. You blew your chances.

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