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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > How do you know when a women is flirting with you?      Home login  
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 zonavar68
Joined: 8/16/2015
Msg: 1
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How do you know when a women is flirting with you?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
How do you know when someone is flirting with you? Speaking as a guy who had no idea at all about flirting and wouldn't know a flirt if he saw one. I've got no idea. People talk about hair tosses, doing things with eyes, tongues, etc. and I don't get any of it.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 2
How do you know when a women is flirting with you?
Posted: 12/21/2016 5:28:49 AM
"Make a woman laugh":
But don't do anything obscene to make her laugh at you.

"create chemistry": Is that something that can be created and planned in advance? I think it's something that is either there or it isn't.
 VikingHoosier
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 3
How do you know when a women is flirting with you?
Posted: 12/21/2016 6:08:45 AM
You know when you're realistic.

On one side of avoiding the reality, she actually is flirting and you're probably aware of it subconsciously / deep down, but you operate as if she's not flirting because of shyness, immaturity, or otherwise not wanting to deal with the situation. Also, some people might sincerely be clueless about recognizing the flirting. This is benign. She can make things more obvious if she can his lack of reacting isn't disinterest.

On the other side, there are the delusional people who think someone is flirting when they're not. The idiots who think all women want them are a pain to everyone. They often brag about their imaginary "success". Billy Bush (the other guy in the yucky Donald Trump conversations) seems to be in this category.

As someone already said, flirting doesn't mean they want to do things. In fact, women are often more likely to flirt when they believe it's safe: if she thinks he's gay, if he's married/taken and unlikely to cheat, if he's "too good for her" and unlikely to "lower himself" to be with her, if they're a couple and have just "done the nasty" and she believes he's expended himself for now.

Voice tone / inflection and the look in their eyes as well as body language are big clues. That's one reason real life is a better way to meet than online. An online emoji isn't nearly as good as a real life smile / wink / tongue. Online, it's good to have a way with words to make up for the lack of real world communication.

Brushing lightly against someone when it's possible not to have any contact is a sign.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 4
How do you know when a women is flirting with you?
Posted: 12/21/2016 6:57:02 AM
I, personally, only know two for sure ways to know if a woman is flirting with me.

One, a 2x4 hitting me on the side of the head.

Two, a pair of panties magically hanging from my right hand. (left hand always seems to be busy?)
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 5
How do you know when a women is flirting with you?
Posted: 12/21/2016 10:46:11 AM
Typically, i figure out a woman's flirting with me when I wonder why she's doing whatever she's doing b/c that's the same thing I would be doing if I was interested in her...oh, wait, now I get it.

Google "how women flirt" and also look up IOI, or indicators of interest. A woman may be interested in you and yet not be flirting. Of course, she may change her mind next week.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 6
How do you know when a women is flirting with you?
Posted: 12/21/2016 11:07:14 AM
Sometimes I lie awake in the middle of the night wondering how many ops I missed due to being clueless as to who was sending me signals.


As Al of Happy Days used to say :


Uh yup yup yup yup sigh
 2ufo2
Joined: 8/29/2016
Msg: 7
How do you know when a women is flirting with you?
Posted: 12/21/2016 11:15:25 AM
Flirting 101...

She sees you and smiles.
She talks to you and smiles.
If she normally smiles at everything, then she smiles a bit more.

Flirting does not necessarily mean she will date you (she might be a natural flirt or she might be exercising her ego), however you won't know that part until you ask her out.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 8
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How do you know when a women is flirting with you?
Posted: 12/21/2016 2:32:25 PM
This is all I've managed after 63 years:

* if she behaves in a reasonably friendly manner when you look at her or speak to her, she might be flirting. Or she might have decided you are a pointless, but not dangerous waste of space.

* if she gets angry at you for no apparent reason, it means she WAS flirting, and because you failed to react positively, she thinks you are purposely yanking her chain. Too late now.

* if she's a stranger to you, and you to her, and she smiles when she sees you, then looks down, it either means she hopes you will use some lame line to stat a conversation, or she thinks you dress like a complete fool, and is trying hard not to spit in front of the guy she's actually after.

* if she looks nervous or fearful when your eyes meet, it means she wants you bad. That, or she's terrified that you'll say something to her, and she'll have to call the police. The look on a woman's face is exactly the same.

The way I figure it, almost no male recognizes for sure that a woman is flirting. The ones who seem to, just assume every woman is flirting, no matter what she does, and doesn't give a crap if she gets mad when he's wrong. They aren't successful because they know what they are doing, they are successful because they don't care how things come out either way, so they go ahead and try.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 9
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How do you know when a women is flirting with you?
Posted: 12/21/2016 2:54:32 PM
Ask her.
He sits at the bar. -Pssst ................hellllooooo...............yes you, ...................are you flirting with me?
( She looks right and then left, and then behind her. Swings back around, points finger at self, and asks him, "Are you talking to me?"
Embarrassed he replies, "Well yes, I am talking to you. I thought maybe you were flirting with me?

Now she's trying real hard not to laugh. "I'm sorry, no. I was just trying to read that sign behind you, above your head."

There's your answer!



.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 10
How do you know when a women is flirting with you?
Posted: 12/21/2016 2:56:44 PM

if she gets angry at you for no apparent reason, it means she WAS flirting,


Orrrrr.....

She's just plain psycho.

NEXT !
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 11
How do you know when a women is flirting with you?
Posted: 12/21/2016 3:50:51 PM

How do you know when a women is flirting with you?


Her nipples are showing.
 JS3344
Joined: 2/12/2013
Msg: 12
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How do you know when a women is flirting with you?
Posted: 12/21/2016 4:44:34 PM
when are they not flirting? If they even acknowledge your existence, they are flirting.........especially cashiers......
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 13
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How do you know when a women is flirting with you?
Posted: 12/22/2016 12:14:36 PM

when are they not flirting? If they even acknowledge your existence, they are flirting.........especially cashiers......


We order Chinese carryout about once a month...from the same local carryout place operated by a Mom and her daughter....tiny place, carryout only. I usually go pick it up; done it for years...when I pick up, I usually chat up the Mom, and sometimes the daughter, when they're not busy...about business, family, the weather, the Cubs, their history from China, etc. etc. etc. Whatever. The Mom's English is not the best, but I usually carry on, nod, smile and laugh when I don't understand.

I'm currently incapacitated, so for the first time I had the SO go pick up the order...she returned and said my "fan club" was asking about me......."Huh?...fan club?"...she said when I didn't show to pick up the order I called in, the place came to a complete stop, and she was interrogated by these two women,lol...... "Where is *****?" ..."Oh...you the wife?"....""Oh, he married?"........"Oh, he so nice"...."Oh, he friendly..." "He OK?"..."What wrong with him?"...and on and on and on. Made my day, it really did. It's amazing what a smile and a little banal chit chat will do.
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 14
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How do you know when a women is flirting with you?
Posted: 12/22/2016 12:24:18 PM

One, a 2x4 hitting me on the side of the head.


I got hit the other night with the proverbial figurative "2x4," lol. Out with a friend in a dive bar, a woman took my hand and put it on her boob, lol. Out of the blue. WTF? Well, being the good upstanding moral person I am, I didn't do anything, and wrote it off to a drunk chick at a dive bar, doing stupid things. Maybe it was because her even drunker friend gave me an impromptu chair dance, right there at the bar, and she had to one-up her?.... lol. Those women knew how to flirt. They had their hands full of 2x4s and they were swinging them pretty hard.
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 15
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How do you know when a [woman] is flirting with you?
Posted: 12/22/2016 12:52:48 PM
BCC
As Al of Happy Days used to say :


Uh yup yup yup yup sigh

Haha - I'm going to start thinking this now.
 CarefreeBeauty
Joined: 5/30/2014
Msg: 16
How do you know when a women is flirting with you?
Posted: 12/22/2016 2:00:12 PM
OP wrote--
How do you know when someone is flirting with you? Speaking as a guy who had no idea at all about flirting and wouldn't know a flirt if he saw one. I've got no idea. People talk about hair tosses, doing things with eyes, tongues, etc. and I don't get any of it.


Kind of off topic BUT< It appears to me that<

The guys who have chimed in here and elsewhere on the POForums seem to fall into three groups:
1) Have no clue when a woman is flirting
2) Think every woman who looks and smiles at them are flirting
3)Read women's signals pretty well, can discern the difference between friendliness and flirting

What I'm wondering is, is there a correlation here?
1) Guy---no clue about flirting and is blind-sided when a woman asks for a divorce or breaks it off with them
2)Guy---thinks every woman is coming on to him and so assumes his wife or SO is coming on to other guys when she is just being friendly
3)Guy---probably in a relationship...has lots of women friends

Not really a question here, just an observation~
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 17
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How do you know when a women is flirting with you?
Posted: 12/22/2016 4:18:55 PM
Seriously, the only certain indicator is when they come up and touch you, grab you, slap you or whatever - physical contact.
Women say they hate games, but they play games 24/7 with their moods and what they want. Even their close friends cannot tell with accuracy what a woman intends. You just have to let it play out. As someone said above, you have to be okay with her not being interested.

That being said, EVEN WHEN A WOMAN FLIRTS, it does not mean she wants you, or wants to go home with you or give a flying fart about you at all. As mentioned above, it could just be drunken games, or on a dare, or trying to get a boyfriend jealous - YOU WILL NEVER KNOW AT THE TIME.

A day later, when your sheets have aired out - MAYBE you can say - YES - she was flirting, AND wanted you. But each day could be a different story.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 18
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How do you know when a women is flirting with you?
Posted: 12/22/2016 4:36:33 PM
Why carry a two by four, when it's just easier to haul off and wallop us with your purse? A swift kick in the shins would work also. I could stand ether or, if I got a girlfriend out of it. Bruises heal, and I certainly don't mind the direct approach.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 19
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How do you know when a women is flirting with you?
Posted: 12/22/2016 8:34:31 PM
Come on OP...Can you really be that clueless? Google is your friend.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 20
humping your leg is sometimes a good sign
Posted: 12/23/2016 6:41:18 AM
While not looking to take the steam out of SS454's noodle, I used to work in customer service back when you could chat up customers and not be seen as holding up progress, but actually giving the joint a small town feel. Anyhoo, half the customers weren't interested, they were just performing a task. Others, however, wanted a little engagement. And some were just downright socialable, without that feeling that you were the only human contact they ever had before going home to the cats. I credited one once for her friendliness, and she responded, "honey, I used to have a job like your's". Sometimes, the customer service drone just wants something to break up the monotomy. Whenever I have to deal with someone over the phone about my accounts, i'll engage in banter and be remembered for it the next time I have to call back.

Usually, its their computer has to catch up, and I comment about how Star Trek never had that in their episodes, like Spock calling up something on the main screen and the Microsoft hourglass is seen swirling around before some Klingon comes on to threaten the crew. Its a simple, dumb comment, but it gets a lot of responses from the person on the other end of the line (and the cultural reference can suggest to you where "the other end of the line" is located, if you catch my drift). Make a habit of engaging the human being on the other side of the counter, and you'll be amazed at how long they remember you. And yes, sometimes you get better service when you're no longer "just another number".

usually I say, if a woman treats you better than she treats others, she may be flirting with you, but that assumes you're treating her like everyone else treats her. I remember being on a plane decades ago next to a twenty something who asked for a favor from the stewardess, and he must have been hot looking b/c before he knew it she was bringing back from first class dinners for him, his friend, and myself in the row, and then a bottle of wine and a mention of what hotel she was laying over in *heh*. He got all flustered, not knowing what to do and he was married anyway. It was funny that I had to give him advice on it.

"hired guns", the pretty ladies in the service sector who can raise their tips by flirting, can be a hard nut to crack. Are they flirting, or are they hitting on us? I've figured it was safe to say they seemed like fun company and would they like to catch a drink sometime, make it seem like there was no harm-no foul if they said no, it was just two adults having a conversation. But i'm also blessed with knowing when a woman's out of my league and she's just putting on an act, so that I know I don't have to bother to ask :)
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 21
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How do you know when a women is flirting with you?
Posted: 12/23/2016 7:22:58 PM
CarefreeBeauty wrote:

The guys who have chimed in here and elsewhere on the POForums seem to fall into three groups:
1) Have no clue when a woman is flirting
2) Think every woman who looks and smiles at them are flirting
3)Read women's signals pretty well, can discern the difference between friendliness and flirting

What I'm wondering is, is there a correlation here?
1) Guy---no clue about flirting and is blind-sided when a woman asks for a divorce or breaks it off with them
2)Guy---thinks every woman is coming on to him and so assumes his wife or SO is coming on to other guys when she is just being friendly
3)Guy---probably in a relationship...has lots of women friends


I'd say it's a reasonable observation.

Yes, guys in #3 (in relationships) may seem to be the most confident and "at ease" around women....likely older and have the "hard knocks" experience to have learned about such things....seems unfair, really. Also, It's easier to be cavalier about these things when you already have someone to go home to.

For the guys in #1. and #2....They make two different types of mistakes.

The first type of mistake is made by guy #1... doing nothing when there is a woman maybe showing interest in you. She is sending subtle signals, but you're waiting for her to tear her clothes off (except the heels), model-walk over to you, and purr "Come **** me, you hunk." But that never happens (at least if you're not paying for it, lol). So you leave the bar alone. You saunter home, turn on your laptop and click on the www iwackoff com bookmark instead, and visit that singles bar in your mind where all the women you meet are young, naked (except the heels), hot and want to sit on your face.

Guy type #2 WILL take action when there is a woman maybe showing interest, and A.) the woman is not really interested, or B.) the woman IS interested, and he blows it. He also leave the bar alone and goes home and, yup, turns on his laptop and click www iwackoff com bookmark....but at least he can have the satisfaction that he tried, and if he doesn't let the face-plant kill his confidence, can take the lessons learned to try again another day.

THey may be bothersome to women but for guys, it's much better to be in #2's shoes, though. Because with these mistakes, you learn, ank sometimes, you'll succeed because you're trying. You're never gonna get anywhere making the first mistake.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 22
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How do you know when a women is flirting with you?
Posted: 12/26/2016 9:05:30 PM

EVEN WHEN A WOMAN FLIRTS, it does not mean she wants you, or wants to go home with you or give a flying fart about you at all. As mentioned above, it could just be drunken games, or on a dare, or trying to get a boyfriend jealous - YOU WILL NEVER KNOW AT THE TIME.

Aside from a very well orchestrated practical joke done on Broadway level -- you Can know whether she wants you or not... but just a mere accurately read Flirt, yeah, won't do it by a long shot. All girls don't mean to flirt in the same way. Some girls think they're flirting, and all they're doing is being friendly to a guy (when they're otherwise stuck up). Some girls think they're Not flirting, but they're "social butterflies" and see it as them being social, complimentary, positive, etc. ("hey, you might be a good match for my friend!").

The key is all about Probabilities. Much of the time, it isn't High probability, though. Some gals think they're being more clear than they are... some gals flirt with anyone with a pen!s, including their step brother, but don't think of it that way. Usually it's Not on the polar ends of the spectrum, thankfully. But it can be.

Even if a gal's just being friendly... if you find her attractive, you roll with it, match that friendliness, and then raise it 1 small step. And you feed off how she feeds off you, etc. One of the best ways to pick up on whether a gal's flirting with you is seeing how she interacts with others, and how well she knows you. Is she flirting with everyone in the room? It may technically be flirting, but holds little to no weight if she's being flirty to everything with a pulse (but does gives you an opportunity anyway; just high competition and lower chances). Another way is -- how do You flirt with gals? How do your buddies who successfully mingle with girls they like, but do it relatively smoothly? Pick up on the signs.

In the end, you figure out if she's really flirting by keeping the lines of communication going and making it enjoyable. It can end up just being friendly banter, or a game of flirtatious bad-mitten, or some combo thereof. At some point, you make a move when it Seems she Likes you, after banter has gained traction. You don't have to know 100% whether she's Trying to flirt with you from the beginning. You find out thru mingling.

The guys who have chimed in here and elsewhere on the POForums seem to fall into three groups:
1) Guy---no clue about flirting and is blind-sided when a woman asks for a divorce or breaks it off with them

I wouldn't make that correlation, because in-serious-relationship and in-single-social-world are different worlds. But yeah, he would have a higher chance of being one of those who will be more blind-sided, yep.

2)Guy---thinks every woman [who looks and smiles at them] is coming on to him and so assumes his wife or SO is coming on to other guys when she is just being friendly

Well -- to be fair -- I would say at least a small majority of gals Say that a gal flirts when she looks & smiles at him (you can even see that in this thread above!). Said advice only frustrates guys like OP -- because no, it doesn't mean she's Flirting with you. She could be innocently flirting with no value... or if she's Shy, she could be really flirting. Or, a lot of the time, just being friendly.

3) Guy--- [can discern the difference between friendliness and flirting] probably in a relationship...has lots of women friends

I wouldn't agree that he's probably in a relationship, no. Of course, him being in a relationship and being subject to his gal-pal's single female friends' experiences at parties & the bar and such -- is certainly a platform to learn a lot. Aside from that, I think guys in a relationship tend to be smoother when mingling with gals because they Don't Care much, if at all, about garnering some gal's interest out there when mingling. Nerves & such go out the window.

But Plenty of single guys can pick up on the difference when one Can (and figure out which one it is in the appropriate fashion)... where Plenty of Taken guys couldn't do that if their life depended on it... as many people of older age, when they're on the rebound post-LTR can be as clueless as a freshman virgin to it all, for at least a little while.

IMO, the OP just has to not care about whether she's Absolutely trying to flirt with him when communication is instigated. He needs the gonads/guts to find out -- where being friendly is his opening... and to read her body language, and her responses to his subtle flirts and kino, etc... and to dial it down a notch when she's not vibing, and to dial it up a notch when she seems to be.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 23
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How do you know when a women is flirting with you?
Posted: 12/27/2016 1:16:13 PM
Something that never gets discussed (where I've seen it) is the other side of this:

where the heck do women get the idea that THEY know how to flirt, to begin with? I know we had segregated health classes in middle school. Was that where you women were trained in the specifics of flirting procedures? Is it REALLY like communicating with signal flags?

Or do you just assume that whatever you are doing to flirt is so obvious that only a fool would miss it?
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 24
when she pays the restaurant bill. Or tells you to go away, that's a surefire sign of interest
Posted: 12/27/2016 3:25:58 PM
"where the heck do women get the idea that THEY know how to flirt, to begin with?"

you forgot to offer in the list of responses:

D) they read those magazines for sale at the register.

they learn how to flirt, how to have the best sex tonight, and how to judge that you must suck and just how to dump your "narcisitic" (according to the 4 question quiz) ass.
 CarefreeBeauty
Joined: 5/30/2014
Msg: 25
How do you know when a women is flirting with you?
Posted: 12/27/2016 3:31:32 PM
Igor wrote:

where the heck do women get the idea that THEY know how to flirt, to begin with? I know we had segregated health classes in middle school. Was that where you women were trained in the specifics of flirting procedures? Is it REALLY like communicating with signal flags?

Or do you just assume that whatever you are doing to flirt is so obvious that only a fool would miss it?


In my 'home ec' class, we were taught basic cooking skills, hygiene and the importance of the 'inner glow'---the 'inner glow' of course being important to give hope for the less than comely co-eds who could not skate by on their looks re: romance and men.

I think 'flirting' is a made up term that describes the way a woman reacts to men in general. Women who 'like' men delight in the difference between the sexes and occasionally or often, imagine what we'd like any particular man to 'do' to us. In our imagination, if not in real life.

It often brings a sly smile to our faces, maybe a hair flip, a biting lip, a lingering look. It's in our DNA. No manual required.

Some women are subtle, others more direct. Ya, we like to keep you guys guessing!
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > How do you know when a women is flirting with you?