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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Not allowed to spend new year together?      Home login  
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 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 2
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Not allowed to spend new year together?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Ok, so, you're saying your boyfriend's friends are having a party to which he is invited, but you are not. He wants you to go, but when his friends said you couldn't go, he said he would go anyway, without you. However, he wants to spend the night at your place afterwards because that's more convenient for him.

You are letting him do this.

Your profile says your are 39.

You're kidding, right?

Just out of curiosity (you should dump the loser), how old is he, and how long have you been with him, and why would you allow anybody to treat you this way? Bonus question: Why would you be alone on NYE if you don't want to be? Don't you have any friends?

My first advice would be dump the loser. Alternatively, if for some reason you don't want to dump the loser immediately, I would wear my sexiest dress and go out, then, when he arrives to sleep over, I would not be home. I'd get home later than he does, in my sexiest dress, lipstick smeared, hair messy, and look at his stupid face in confusion.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 3
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Not allowed to spend new year together?
Posted: 12/30/2016 6:11:13 AM
Well Lucky, it seems your luck has run out. You are just 6 9's now.
Your "bf"(?) chooses his friends and they don't like you. Or he's lying thru his teeth to you.

Bottom line? Yes, you are crazy.

IF any guy had the nerve to kick me to the curb, telling me his "friends", are telling him, who he can or can not bring to a holiday get together, and he supposedly goes along with this?.....................LMAO Yah ok, I smell a rat.

Wake up and smell the coffee.
Bottom line? Yes, you are crazy, to believe his****mainie story. It is crazy to continue with an unhealthy relationship.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 5
Not allowed to spend new year together?
Posted: 12/30/2016 6:33:00 AM
" He invited me but I was rejected."

How were you rejected? There's a lot more to the story that's not being told if his friends don't want you there, and want him to go without you. I can't imagine someone inviting me to a NYE party, but said I couldn't bring someone I've been together with for two years-especially if there's going to be other couples there. Do you and his friends get along?
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 6
Not allowed to spend new year together?
Posted: 12/30/2016 6:36:33 AM
Tell him to sleep over at the friends who is hosting the party you aren't welcome at :)
I'd be ticked off, and if he is actually going when they said you can't
Me, I would be looking around for other Men to date
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 8
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Not allowed to spend new year together?
Posted: 12/30/2016 6:46:55 AM
"They" are probably his wife and children.

Oh, wait, that can't be because he's spending the night at your house.

So - arrested development. He's a man child who's still playing with the same friends he's played in the sandbox with when he was five. He's only allowed to be friends with them, and he can't bring anybody else to the party.

But . . . you love him, right?

Sigh!
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 9
Not allowed to spend new year together?
Posted: 12/30/2016 6:55:03 AM
This is getting crazier and crazier. So in the two years you have been with him, you never met his friends that he sees all of the time, and you were never invited anywhere where you would get the opportunity to meet them. This didn't raise any red flags the first time it happened, or any time after that? Like I said, there's something going on that's not being told. Here's a long shot-are you his mistress? That's the only thing that would make sense.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 10
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Not allowed to spend new year together?
Posted: 12/30/2016 7:00:35 AM
The title of this thread should be:

Boyfriend Chooses to Spend NYE Without Me

You are "allowed" to spend it together. He's just choosing not to. He's choosing to spend it with his friends instead. Best to face reality here.

In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.
 BLUEMISS
Joined: 7/15/2007
Msg: 11
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Not allowed to spend new year together?
Posted: 12/30/2016 7:04:32 AM
Well that would be the f'ing day I'd allow that to happen.
I would probably make a stink and put some thoughts in his head to make sure he had an awful NYE.
And then I'd go out with my friends.
No way he would be coming over[ for a piece] after he was out checking out other women.
He sounds like an ass and I smell a rat.
Get some self esteem girl.
What is going on, you must have some idea and why are you putting up with it?
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 12
Not allowed to spend new year together?
Posted: 12/30/2016 7:05:49 AM
I've been on this site for quite a long time now. I keep wondering if there is something wrong with me, my beliefs and thoughts on relationships, because I just can't seem to find any form of connection with another of the opposite gender.

And then, I get stuff like this to read.

And then I wonder no longer.

Thank you.

Walts go off looking for one of those unopened bottles. He knows there is at least one of them somewhere amongst the wrapping paper.
 VikingHoosier
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 13
Not allowed to spend new year together?
Posted: 12/30/2016 7:08:28 AM


He's in his 40' and we're together for two years.


Posting history reveals:

https://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts16411422.aspx



We have good relationship of 9 years and we live together


How did your would-be-10 year relationship shrink to 2 years? Also, in your earlier post, you say "since I'm 32". Were you claiming to be 32 in 2015 or were you saying in the six years since you were 32?
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 14
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Not allowed to spend new year together?
Posted: 12/30/2016 7:12:19 AM
Lucky, (or not as it seems), The coffee pot is dry, and the coffee has burned.
You have been taken for a fool. You participate in this relationship as though you have no other choice.
Seriously, you have allowed this man to do as he pleases, and you have options.
You are living in a state of denial. He is not YOUR bf.

But.............. by all means IF you like your arrangement with this man, carry on.

ETA, I swear I should have learned my lesson, LOL READ an OP's history AND profile BEFORE posting! Sheesh.

ETA #2 Thanks VH, I needed that ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ LOL
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 15
Not allowed to spend new year together?
Posted: 12/30/2016 7:17:51 AM
Good one Viking
I guess
"So it really came like a surprise to me, being so independent, my bf told me I am a burden to him"
is the reason for not being taken to the party.
I say he is married
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 17
Not allowed to spend new year together?
Posted: 12/30/2016 7:29:30 AM
The first question is, on what basis does his friends reject you? Do they know you well enough? Or is it the stories the bf tells about you? Or are you just not part of the "clique"? I agree with whoever it was that said, in effect, if they want only his company, they can spend the night listening to his snoring as well.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 18
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Not allowed to spend new year together?
Posted: 12/30/2016 7:49:43 AM
All of this “does not compute”. My friends would want me to bring my girl friend, the only exception being if it was a “boys only night out”. Which, obviously, this is not.

And if they didn’t want me to bring my girl friend, the woman I chose to be with, I would have to reconsider whether they were really my friends.

I will admit there have been occasions in the past when one of my friends was dating someone that I would rather they didn’t bring to the party. But I have never said that to my friend. If he is my friend, and he chooses to date someone, then I will do my damn best to accept her.
 gotahubcapdiamondstarhalo
Joined: 9/21/2016
Msg: 19
Not allowed to spend new year together?
Posted: 12/30/2016 8:00:51 AM
Something is wrong with your calendar. Your thread from Sep 2015 states your BF told you that you were "a burden to him." But, you state THIS BF is not the same guy, yet claim you have been together 2 yrs?



We're dating since forever and he's my first bf ...
So it really came like a surprise to me, being so independent, my bf told me I am a burden to him!

https://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts16448956.aspx

Anyway ... I am guessing his "friends" have set him up with someone. If my BF chose to spend NYE with his friends, instead of me, I suppose I would suggest he get his NYE blowjob from them, too.

Have a Happy 2017.

P. S. This is grounds for a breakup. Quit being a chump.

P. P. S. And, hey, you guys, quit flooding my inbox with offers for a NYE date! Hee hee


OMG ... You STILL can't get your story straight:
I've been with the new for year and a half but been seeing him little longer, so I said "around 2 years".


A year and a half is 1 year and 6 months from 30 Dec 2016 = 30 Jun 2015

So, you have been with the new BF since June/July of 2015 (and "seeing him [a] little longer"), BUT, you were posting about being with your "first bf" in Sep 2015.

So you were cheating on your first BF?

First rule of Forums Fight Club:

1. Get your fawkin' story straight !!! (even if you're making it up)
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 20
Not allowed to spend new year together?
Posted: 12/30/2016 8:10:18 AM
"He sees them more than he sees me and they know each other longer."




This right here says it all - your bf know them longer than you so OF COURSE he'd rather be with them on NYE . Who do you think you are to expect him to choose you over his FRIENDS ???? His GIRLFRIEND ? Get over yourself !


" I've never had opportunity to meet them because I was never invited anywhere, but my bf likes them a lot. From what I understand, they don't want anybody there except the people they know."



There you go, if your bf's friends don't want to meet you after 2 years you better suck it up and get used to it !
And if he marries you, don't expect his friends to want you to come to your own wedding either !


" I honestly don't get it."



I 100 % agree with you !
 sticchic
Joined: 11/23/2014
Msg: 21
Not allowed to spend new year together?
Posted: 12/30/2016 8:11:33 AM
Well, I believe you two are MEANT to be together. Here's why:

1. You lie to him and do not communicate well at all,
2. He lies to you and covers his, most likely, other life from you,
3. You lie to everyone in the forums about your imaginary "situation"
4. You are very good at rationalizing your own thoughts and behaviors.
5. You cannot do maths, maybe he can't either: 1 is not a relationship, neither is 3.
6. "High school" teacher? LMAO Most of the US requires a Master's degree, but, sure, you are a "teacher." Your language skill may need some work too?

You deserve each other!
 L_LuuLuu
Joined: 8/2/2009
Msg: 22
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Not allowed to spend new year together?
Posted: 12/30/2016 9:41:48 AM
OP --

A real man who is worth planning a future with is willing to put his woman FIRST - "forsaking all others..."

Just dump him TODAY with no explanation. Ghost him. Don't respond to his texts or calls.
a. He doesn't deserve one.
b. You can fight with him about this -- and "win" for now. But other issues will still come up as he has little regard for you.
c. You can fight about his and "lose". Then he will know for sure that he can get away with anything with you. So his treatment of you will get steadily worse.

Since he doesn't live with you, change your locks (if he has a key), pack up his belongings and leave them on his porch while he is out on NYE.


Look on the bright side. You are still young enough to find someone else -- easily if you try. I am older and recently had to make the decision of my ex or NO ONE.

Right after NYE is the time when a lot of others break up -- so there's a fresh crop out there!

Now, dry your eyes, and contact your friends to see if you can get back in on their plans. Whether you can or not, put on your sexiest outfit NYE, and go out and have some fun. Even if you are alone -- You won't be the only one out there!

Some others have posted comments about your having a history of being mistreated by men. Now's the time for some UTube therapy. And some books on how to attract and hold a GOOD man.

Good luck!
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 23
Not allowed to spend new year together?
Posted: 12/30/2016 9:47:45 AM
^^^^^

Congrats Op, you reeled in a live one !

Maybe ask someone named Nataly how to string her along for a few months ?
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 24
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Not allowed to spend new year together?
Posted: 12/30/2016 9:54:53 AM

" I've never had opportunity to meet them because I was never invited anywhere, but my bf likes them a lot. From what I understand, they don't want anybody there except the people they know."


He's part of a swingers club :)))))
 washingbear
Joined: 12/14/2016
Msg: 25
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Not allowed to spend new year together?
Posted: 12/30/2016 9:59:41 AM
My advice: crash the party. Determine fact from fiction.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 26
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Not allowed to spend new year together?
Posted: 12/30/2016 11:16:56 AM
You have been banned so that your so-called boyfriend can fool around with other women - perhaps a wife or other girlfriend.
This has been going on since Day One.
Tell him to sleep AT his friends, since he'll be sleeping WITH his "friends".
LOCK YOUR DOOR.
GHOST HIM

Move on. Despite your terrible recollection of facts, or blatant lies, this guy only sees you as a bench warmer to call on. As long as you are with him your life will suck.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 27
Not allowed to spend new year together?
Posted: 12/30/2016 11:33:13 AM
OP: Did Mr. Wonderful spend Christmas day with you-or did he stick around for a while, then take off to spend the rest of the day with his friends? Or for that matter, did he show up at all? Didn't you two discuss how you'll be celebrating NYE at least a few weeks ago, like most couples would, and did he tell you then that he's going to a NYE party on his own? If you knew he spends most of his time with his friends, and you're never invited, it shouldn't be a surprise that he plans on leaving you sitting at home NYE. Have you introduced him to your friends, or is that to be kept secret as well?
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 28
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Not allowed to spend new year together?
Posted: 12/30/2016 1:41:57 PM
You have got to be kidding.
 cindi_rella
Joined: 7/25/2016
Msg: 29
Not allowed to spend new year together?
Posted: 12/30/2016 1:48:45 PM
2 years together and he doesnt want to share NYE with you? Youve never met his friends? Why are you putting up with this nonsense?
#Newmanin2017
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