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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Blew it, thanks Hormones      Home login  
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 Shadowcat99
Joined: 8/22/2016
Msg: 1
Blew it, thanks HormonesPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Met Mr. Perfect, yes, we had talked for ever, had more in common than God and Jesus based on where we grew up, our current lives, where we currently lived... couldn't agree on meeting anywhere at that time, then quiet. Then I decided to reach out to him, and after he responded, we did, sparks hit. Met again, sparks hit, then emotional rollercoaster because he decided to and wanted to pursue something with someone else. AND THEN, I went into full mother of all hormonal meltdown, stress from working two jobs that week, son smashing my car... Anyway, I wrote and told him ok. Sorry for thinking it was otherwise, then I just couldn't stop from writing him every day. I became a stalker, emotions again everywhere, and now, finally a week later, I'm back to normal (and have scheduled an appointment with a hormone therapist - thankyouverymuch!) But in the meantime, he now believes I'm nuts, well, I did go all Glenn Close on him, and has blocked me.

He honestly was Mr. Perfect, and if I was in my right mind at that time, I would have walked away and waited to see if things changed, but now no chance at that.

If he hasn't blocked my number, I am going to write to him in about 6 months, tell him thank you for blocking me, it made me wake up and see that I needed help, got the help, and am moving on - and good luck with his life, and then leave. Would that be wrong to do. I hate for people to hate me, especially when I know that I was DEFINETELY not myself at all, and it could have been anyone else, it just happened to be him. Mr. Perfect. Gone. POOF on POF.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 2
Blew it, thanks Hormones
Posted: 2/1/2017 10:11:02 AM
"he decided to and wanted to pursue something with someone else"



This tells me he didn't think YOU were perfect.


Who cares if he thinks you're nuts ? What difference does it make ?

Move on.

You lost nothing since he chose to pursue someone else BEFORE your " meltdown "
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 3
view profile
History
Blew it, thanks Hormones
Posted: 2/1/2017 10:14:44 AM
Even before you "blew it," he decided to pursue something with somebody else, so I don't really see how this was entirely your fault. A guy who decides to pursue something with somebody else wasn't all that into you in the first place, and he certainly wasn't Mr. Perfect. Spare yourself the grief and move on.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 7/1/2016
Msg: 4
Blew it, thanks Hormones
Posted: 2/1/2017 10:41:23 AM
Yeah, I don't understand either.
You went spazzy cat after he decided to pursue something with someone else.
He wasn't interested in you...so how could he be your Mr. Perfect?

I'd leave him alone.
No need to update him on your epihany.
 ebolakitty
Joined: 3/19/2016
Msg: 5
Blew it, thanks Hormones
Posted: 2/1/2017 11:37:26 AM
I'm inclined to be more sympathetic than usual. (I'm a sucker for girls with glasses.)

Anyway, the stalking thing isn't all that serious. People make a big deal about it nowadays but it isn't usually that bad. Forgive yourself and forget it.

Your profile is really persuasive in my opinion but it shows me one stumbling block that might have popped up in this case. You say that you like to take things slow. Okay, lots of women do. Thing is that Mr. Perfect is usually Mr. Perfect for everyone else too. What happens is that you get scooped by someone who is less, shall we say, process oriented.

I wouldn't change anything as a result like getting more urgent or aggressive. That would make you unhappy with yourself. Just know what you are up against next time it happens and plod on.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 6
Blew it, thanks Hormones
Posted: 2/1/2017 11:39:33 AM

Mr. Perfect.


Did someone call me?
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 7
Blew it, thanks Hormones
Posted: 2/1/2017 12:40:48 PM

If he hasn't blocked my number, I am going to write to him in about 6 months, tell him thank you for blocking me, it made me wake up and see that I needed help, got the help, and am moving on - and good luck with his life, and then leave. Would that be wrong to do.


Very wrong to do. He expressed that he was no longer interested in you. Get a clue, quit pestering him, and move on down the road. If he's smart, he'll keep you blocked.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 8
Blew it, thanks Hormones
Posted: 2/1/2017 1:53:51 PM
The fact you are even thinking about contacting him again means things are not back to normal. Goodness he wasn't interested, don't be that woman who has the cops come knocking. You could sleep on his front porch too
results the same
 PlutoLover68
Joined: 7/28/2016
Msg: 9
Blew it, thanks Hormones
Posted: 2/1/2017 3:50:05 PM
When you say he decided to pursue someone else, did he tell you he didn't want to see you or was he simply dating multiple people and you thought you had more of something than he did? I've been in that boat! It sucks. But, it taught me a lot about dating now vs dating 25 years ago when I was young and single. If that is the case, then learn from it! Until you've had the "exclusive" conversation, assume you are both seeing other people. Try not to be jealous, don't inquire about who they are with, do not get possessive. A couple dates do not make a relationship.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 10
Blew it, thanks Hormones
Posted: 2/1/2017 4:01:18 PM

tell him thank you for blocking me, it made me wake up and see that I needed help, got the help, and am moving on


Is moving on code for wanting to move on with him, after asking him if he's still with the other woman? Why else would you want to contact him? Do you think he's going to care or believe you're all fixed up now and ready to date? The best way to move on is to actually stop all contact and stop hoping Mr. Perfect is going to come running back.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 11
Blew it, thanks Hormones
Posted: 2/1/2017 4:08:23 PM
Is there any possible a guy can blame his "crazy" on hormones instead of the whiskey?


Asking for a friend.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 12
Blew it, thanks Hormones
Posted: 2/1/2017 4:57:19 PM
Walts.. you been smokin this New Year
yes, they call it MENopause
I will be here all month try the fish sticks
 flaneur001
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 13
view profile
History
Blew it, thanks Hormones
Posted: 2/1/2017 5:33:26 PM
op
and now, finally a week later, I'm back to normal (and have scheduled an appointment with a hormone therapist - thankyouverymuch


How do you know your behaviour is 'hormone' related? Is this a self diagnosis? A week after your meltdown 'you were back to normal"....but you did not have any medical assessment/medication by a professional correct?

I think there is more to this than 'hormones'.
 cindi_rella
Joined: 7/25/2016
Msg: 14
Blew it, thanks Hormones
Posted: 2/1/2017 6:03:06 PM
He told you he was pursing someone else and blocked you. There is no point in contacting him in 6 months or at any time. Blocking means he does not want anymore contact. Move on.
 forumslady
Joined: 12/7/2016
Msg: 15
Blew it, thanks Hormones
Posted: 2/1/2017 7:46:09 PM
Shadowcat99- In 6 months, you won't feel like you feel now.
IF you do write a letter to him, spew it all out, then BURN it!
He broke up with you BEFORE your meltdown.
It's easier for him to say you are nuts, that takes any responsibility for the break up off of him and that makes him a coward.
Btw- Dare I say, you are being WAY too hard on yourself.
So, you went a little overboard, so what?! You aren't the first and you won't be the last.
Forgive yourself, STOP the inner dialogue, beating yourself up.
There has never been a person in the history of time that hasn't made a mistake, it's called being human.
Put him behind you.
Move on and find someone who loves you for you.
Ps- The first person on that list should be YOU.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 16
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History
Blew it, thanks Hormones
Posted: 2/2/2017 1:15:16 AM

yes, we had talked for ever, had more in common than God and Jesus based on where we grew up, our current lives, where we currently lived... couldn't agree on meeting anywhere at that time, then quiet.

That means a lot to you, but not necessarily So much to him. Remember that. You meshing well with someone seems perfect -- it doesn't make Them perfect. Remember that, too.

Then I decided to reach out to him, and after he responded, we did, sparks hit. Met again, sparks hit, then emotional rollercoaster because he decided to and wanted to pursue something with someone else.

Okay, so you chased him down, and met TWICE. He was a seemingly perfect guy-to-meet. It does NOT mean he's perfect. Realize that. You know that concept of "follow your gut"? It's Bad Advice. You wanted him to be perfect and Felt he was perfect because you don't have these experiences -- you're mistaking a perfect meshing experience (short lived) with a Person being perfect and/or perfect for you. It's not. He's not. Why? After 2 dates -- hitting it off -- he chose Another gal. The End.

So before you went stalker -- he rejected you and lost interest. It was NOT you going stalker that turned him off. It's what put nails in the coffin, which pretty much had it's nails in it, since you guys Already went for a 2nd try anyway.

Anyway, you went stalker-ape after he Rejected you. YES, you were Yourself. Otherwise you wouldn't have done all that. You are what you do, when you follow thru. And you did exactly that. :)

But yes, you can Change, and it's good you're doing that (and no, it's not purely hormones). I understand the concept of saying what's up to him WITHOUT wanting to chase him AT ALL -- for the sake of closure. But the catch-22 is, it'd very well reinforce the concept of you being a stalker, because that's what they'd do. You'd risk getting a "Please don't write me or contact me again," which would only make things worse for ya.

So wait several months before you even THINK about the Concept of saying anything to him in any way shape or form again -- and assuming you never will. Again, he's not Mr Perfect. That's Part of Your Problem, thinking that. Until you realize he's not Mr Perfect (but sure, he was probably a good catch) -- you haven't changed enough.

After realizing this, and it's months later, IF and ONLY IF you find an opportunity to say something to him while Not Wanting him again -- that could be okay... but only for the same purpose you'd say to an ex-friend who you also Scared off too -- "Hey, just to let you know, I realize I screwed up there. If there's any annual Dunce Cap award given out, I'd be getting it plus the year after for all that. Peace, man," and walk away / end it there. If you have any thoughts of wanting to have another date or chance with him, don't do it. Even if you see him in person, walk away.
 Shadowcat99
Joined: 8/22/2016
Msg: 17
Blew it, thanks Hormones
Posted: 2/2/2017 4:45:48 AM
Thank you! You are spot on! And exactly right (and thank you for not being mean in your response too). My ex was my first and only, so this whole dating thing is crazy to understand and gandle.
 Shadowcat99
Joined: 8/22/2016
Msg: 18
Blew it, thanks Hormones
Posted: 2/2/2017 4:47:09 AM
Honestly, yes, it is hormone related.
 foxyphillyoo
Joined: 3/28/2009
Msg: 19
Blew it, thanks Hormones
Posted: 2/2/2017 4:53:33 AM
Hormones?! And your planin to do sometin more later on? your crayze!! And fat fat fat fat

CRAZY AND FAT!!!!
 IReallyShouldnt
Joined: 9/6/2016
Msg: 20
view profile
History
Blew it, thanks Hormones
Posted: 2/2/2017 5:03:27 AM
^^^
Now there's someone who needs meds(or hopefully gets her/his profile deleted).
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 21
Blew it, thanks Hormones
Posted: 2/2/2017 10:35:00 AM
^^^^
Agreed.

I think she rolls her own tampons too.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 22
view profile
History
Blew it, thanks Hormones
Posted: 2/2/2017 12:46:05 PM

I think she rolls her own tampons too.

Smoke 'em if you got 'em!
 Shadowcat99
Joined: 8/22/2016
Msg: 23
Blew it, thanks Hormones
Posted: 2/2/2017 2:12:50 PM
Well, at least I'm not crazy and OLD! Sheesh. Please honey, take your Geritol and stop being so mean, unless that's all you can do. These boards are for support, and guidance - not drive-by attacks on people you don't know.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 24
Blew it, thanks Hormones
Posted: 2/2/2017 2:37:44 PM
Shadowcat, IGNORE the fox. No need to have the fur fly.
Believe me, things are not always as they seem to be, here in the Forums.

Meanwhile, Mr Perfect ...............wasn't ............for you.
What might have been ......isn't. Let it go. No need to revisit the past.
Good luck with HRT, (?) and ..........good luck with Mr Perfect # 3. He's out there somewhere.
BTW, don't talk forever. Meet sooner not later.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 25
Blew it, thanks Hormones
Posted: 2/2/2017 5:00:09 PM
NOthing wrong with being old
Pretty fast to get the hair up
btw, old yet have never stalked someone "_
Nor would I call someone who said I was second best as they meet someone better
PERFECT
delusional, but not perfect
off to try to find my kitchen without getting lost
btw, 52 isn't young. Not even middle aged unless you live to be 104
Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Blew it, thanks Hormones