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 NoxzemaWA
Joined: 2/19/2017
Msg: 1
What is Creepy? Page 1 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
Serious inquiry. I see the word 'creepy' being thrown a lot but what exactly is creepy to you? Is it a general behavior or does it depend on who it's coming from more?

I've seen this firsthand. Two people can express interest in someone but if one is conventionally attractive and the other is not, the not-as-attractive person will be billed as a "creep". The saying, "It's only sexual harassment if she's not hot" comes to mind. It's very rare that I ever see a desirable (i.e. young, attractive, nice body) person being described as creepy, although they can behave the exact same way as someone who doesn't measure up to conventional beauty standards.

Thoughts?
 therainman2
Joined: 3/4/2017
Msg: 2
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What is Creepy?
Posted: 3/16/2017 6:08:38 PM
Creepy to me is someone that is coming on too strong. It is something they are saying or doing that is either coming off to me the wrong way or just something in general I don't want happening from that person, directed at me.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 3
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What is Creepy?
Posted: 3/16/2017 6:26:14 PM
Creepy is not about attractiveness.
Creepy is about BEHAVIOR:
- Unwanted advances or inquiries into your personal business
- Intrusion into your personal space
- Unsolicited comments about your private affairs, friends & family
- Refusal to stop talking about subjects when asked
- Refusal to step back, step away, or go away entirely when asked by a person or a group
- Covert observation of your activities, or questioning others about your personal details

Women say "creepy", Men say "crazy". The behavior is not quite the same, but the attitude is the same = GO AWAY
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 4
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What is Creepy?
Posted: 3/16/2017 6:32:27 PM
you said it!!

Sexual harassment is only that if the person is deemed unattractive and making suggestions and remarks of a sexual nature. However if an attractive looking person who is for instance attached, persists with unwanted attentions that is also harassment.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 5
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What is Creepy?
Posted: 3/16/2017 9:28:49 PM
In my opinion...
'Creepy' in here (and dating in general) is a blanket term given to someone who's behavior is unwanted, or unexpected.
It doesn't have to be of a harassing or overtly sexual nature.

Someone undesirable gives you a hug goodbye after meeting - it can feel 'creepy'.
Someone very desirable who does NOT give you a hug goodbye gets qualified as 'creepy' too.

Messaging conversations that happen thru this web site get dropped without notice ten thousand times a day - but if someone hasn't had that experience before, they might post in here claiming such-and-such was a 'creep'.

People use that label pretty liberally for anything they don't understand or don't want to deal with.

People that are very attractive or desirable generally get labels that are 'softer' than direct name-calling, like 'Creep'.
People found very un-attractive get labels tossed at them that most people would not allow their kids to hear.

Context is everything - and no two people are going to judge a 'creep' with the exact same measure.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 6
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What is Creepy?
Posted: 3/16/2017 11:36:31 PM
To each his own, but I have never found someone creepy because they were not attractive, creepy is about how someone behaves, the way they say things, the things they do. Lots of good looking people are creepy.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 7
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What is Creepy?
Posted: 3/17/2017 4:25:16 AM
I suggest that the main thing to recognize is, that "creepy" is a REACTION, more than it is a thing in and of itself.

Some things bother almost everyone, so they appear to be fairly universally considered "creepy," other things not so much.

I remember when I was a kid, one of the situations where "creepy" seemed to be unjustly applied, was where a Hot Person was approached by a Not Hot Person. The Not Hot Person was proclaimed and agreed upon to be "creepy," essentially because they didn't accept or know their place in the local social packing order, and had nothing to do with their actual behavior. That was most like what the OP describes, where "creepy" was used in place of "not in the clique."

At the same time, a lot of people use "creepy" as a general label for whatever odd or unpleasant actual behaviors they hope to not have to deal with from other people.

As with a lot of things, one person's "creepy" can be someone else's "creative turn on." So that's back to the "creepy" designation being a reaction.

 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 8
What is Creepy?
Posted: 3/17/2017 5:15:11 AM
Aintnodeal nailed it. I find it creepy when people continue to violate my boundaries.
And there are visual clues as well.
People who stare, even when you finally make eye contact.
And of course clowns and spiders
 IgottaName
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 9
What is Creepy?
Posted: 3/17/2017 5:52:05 AM
I'm going with "All of the above".
Creepy is a subjective term and everyone is going to draw that line differently. While we all agree that there are certainly behaviors that will put anyone in the creep zone, It still depends on the the person on the receiving end. Some like a person that comes on strong as long as they are attracted to that person.
I'm not one to come on strong and was once told by a women that what she termed my "passivity" was creepy. Go figure.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 10
What is Creepy?
Posted: 3/17/2017 6:02:10 AM
The OP does make some good points. I have seen this happen at bars and other social settings. If a woman is single, available, and the man is attractive to her, it's flattering. Otherwise another man doing the same thing is considered to be creepy. Sometimes a person can be considered to be creepy because the other person is paranoid and assumes the worst case scenario in a given situation. Some women have told me that they first thought a man was a creep. But when they got to know him, they realized he was a great person. Overall, it can be used to describe behavior that is weird and/or bothers another person. That itself is subjective.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 11
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What is Creepy?
Posted: 3/17/2017 6:37:11 AM
Clowns are creepy and spiders. I don't call people creepy much. I might say jerk or a$$hole.
 Wilkes_Barre_Candy
Joined: 9/7/2016
Msg: 12
What is Creepy?
Posted: 3/17/2017 7:54:42 AM
Sociopaths are creepy. American Psycho. Trump.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 13
What is Creepy?
Posted: 3/17/2017 8:24:34 AM
In the White House, microwaves are creepy.
 Wilkes_Barre_Candy
Joined: 9/7/2016
Msg: 14
What is Creepy?
Posted: 3/17/2017 8:58:46 AM
^^ I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 15
What is Creepy?
Posted: 3/17/2017 11:21:10 AM
An example of "creepy" is someone who does a background check on you, then tells you about it later.

The fact that I had "passed" was irrelevant. After the guy told me he did this, it creeped me out and I refused to date him again.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 16
What is Creepy?
Posted: 3/17/2017 11:31:04 AM
Sitting in a stall in a public bathroom and suddenly noticing an eye looking at you through a crack in the door
 jco415
Joined: 1/4/2017
Msg: 17
What is Creepy?
Posted: 3/17/2017 1:05:42 PM
You want creepy...take any favorite chick flick and put an ugly guy in the leading role....suddenly it's creepy!


Try it! Watch the Notebook but imaging someone like Steve Buscemi in Ryan Gosling's role....now how romantic is it?
 NoxzemaWA
Joined: 2/19/2017
Msg: 18
What is Creepy?
Posted: 3/17/2017 2:03:47 PM
^ I've heard similar things about "50 Shades of Grey" casting. Imagine if some old, balding, overweight dude was Christian Grey, suddenly it's not so hot! In the BDSM community, most of the Doms DO NOT remotely resemble Jamie Dornan. At all.
 NoxzemaWA
Joined: 2/19/2017
Msg: 19
What is Creepy?
Posted: 3/17/2017 2:29:42 PM

An example of "creepy" is someone who does a background check on you, then tells you about it later.

The fact that I had "passed" was irrelevant. After the guy told me he did this, it creeped me out and I refused to date him again.


Yes, that is creepy.

Reminds me of a guy who showed my picture to his roommate and then told me about it on our first date. He was attractive but it didn't make a difference. That was creepy and overeager.
 razors_edge55
Joined: 11/25/2013
Msg: 20
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What is Creepy?
Posted: 3/17/2017 2:55:28 PM
the background check happened to my sister ,,,a guy on a catholic date site ,,,creepy ,,well only one person I've met gave me the "heebie jebbies" just gave me the creeps ,,two years later ,,,I met a girl and he was her ex ,,,,in the three years with her ,,,I could write a book on "strange'
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 21
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What is Creepy?
Posted: 3/17/2017 3:10:22 PM
Creepy for me...
I meet a fellow for coffee that turned into dinner. Everything went well. Plans for a second we're made, a hockey game.
Five mins into the second date he told me he loved me and if I had any wild oats to sow that I better do it ASAP. WTF
He shoots... He doesn't score
Bye bye
 swedishtextiles
Joined: 2/2/2017
Msg: 22
What is Creepy?
Posted: 3/17/2017 3:43:13 PM
Read any POF Off Topic forum postings lately?

Creepy is an understatement.

Foul language, nasty name calling, Ugliness pretending to be standing up for What I Do Not Know~
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 23
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What is Creepy?
Posted: 3/17/2017 4:24:19 PM

...creepy is about how someone behaves, the way they say things, the things they do.


I'd just like to make a point to this phrase... the 'Way' people say things -- in-person, verbally - has context. There is extra information to evaluate the level of 'creepy' - such as posture, voice inflection, expressions on their face. When people are staring out with online date site messaging, none of those extras are involved. We get text on a screen, and that's it.

The rest of the 'Way' we believe a message was sent online comes from our mind's eye. We invent their voices, pretend we know what they look like when speaking - basically create a context to support our own 'hunch' and make it into a self-fulfilling prophecy. Past experiences with other dates play a role, as do our own fears and desires. The trick is realizing that it is ONLY words typed on a screen - or maybe not even, if they use those stupid emojis instead of real language. People can all take a lesson and be a little more objective about what they read.

Now being 'objective' doesn't mean being stupid. You still don't give out your credit card or phone numbers to just anyone. You don't show up for a date in a dangerous location simply because they SAID to be there. It just means that you realize the 'tone' of what you read is colored (and exaggerated) by your own opinions more than it is by reality. It's also why everyone's "Creep Meter" is calibrated differently.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 24
What is Creepy?
Posted: 3/17/2017 4:38:54 PM
Disagree SD. Some people are hmm " gifted" with the creep vibe, you can usually tell from the photos or verbal clues they provide.
They are not simply words.. people reveal themselves by how they write.
 LucilleDixon
Joined: 12/18/2016
Msg: 25
What is Creepy?
Posted: 3/17/2017 5:10:04 PM

To each his own, but I have never found someone creepy because they were not attractive, creepy is about how someone behaves, the way they say things, the things they do. Lots of good looking people are creepy.


This and what the other poster said about boundaries. I personally don't care about the level of attractiveness,creepy is creepy.
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