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 embrasser
Joined: 7/3/2014
Msg: 1
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Older woman younger manPage 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Why is it so difficult to find an attractive younger man who wants to date and become friends.
99% of the younger men I am interested in only want to eff a MILF.
Being desirable to a younger man is a wonderful feeling, but I want much more
than that. I would have thought by the age of 38 and older, men would have figured
out that companionship and friendship contribute to fantastic sex.

Searching for younger attractive man to learn answers from.
Thank you.
 flman2015
Joined: 10/3/2015
Msg: 2
Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/7/2017 7:27:53 PM
I'll be the bearer of logic (and bad news) ;-)



Why is it so difficult to find an attractive younger man who wants to date and become friends.
99% of the younger men I am interested in only want to eff a MILF.


Because younger men generally prefer the physical "advantages" a woman's youth offers. It's also a common preference among older gentlemen, not all of course. Therefore, aside from a few exceptions, what an "older" lady offers to a younger man is "difference" with experience.

As a side note, I suspect that some parts of your profile may be attracting the MILF effers.



I would have thought by the age of 38 and older, men would have figured
out that companionship and friendship contribute to fantastic sex.


If you read any significant number of posts in these forums, you'll find that you are, generally speaking, giving us more credit than many of us here have earned. You'll find that there are a number of guys that are still analyzing ladders, leagues and rating systems, apparently they believe those are the things that lead to fantastic sex.



Searching for younger attractive man to learn answers from.

I don't fit that bill but, I did provide an answer. 1 out of a million isn't bad.

With all that said, I am impressed (rarely happens) with your vocabulary. Since your profile is well written, I figured I'd mention that, in your profile, where it says "then 45", it should be "than 45".

Best of luck to you.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 3
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Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/7/2017 7:58:01 PM
I don't understand the confusion.

It's been pretty obvious since I first started to realize that the movies (and most adults) were telling me only fantasies about love and life, that it's always true that 99% of males of all ages, just want to boink WHATEVER female they are after at the moment.

I'm not being facetious or sarcastic, I'm just pointing at commonly recognized facts. It's similar to the equally factual situation, that 99% of the males you will meet during your life will not be insanely rich and handsome.

There's even a quote by famous Science Fiction author Theodore Sturgeon which goes

"Sure 90% of Science Fiction is crap. That's because 90% of everything is crap."

Why in the world would you expect that "males who like older women" would be any different?

The older guys who want a young waif as a mate, have to accept that the vast majority of "women" who they go after (even after ignoring the ones who laugh or spit in their face) will either be mentally off, or gold diggers. The ones who have a good time in their search anyway, are the ones who cheerfully accept those odds, because that is reality.
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 4
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Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/7/2017 8:58:23 PM

Being desirable to a younger man is a wonderful feeling,


Right. And a man, being desirable to a younger woman, is likewise a wonderful feeling.

See the conundrum?
 leon714
Joined: 1/22/2015
Msg: 5
Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/8/2017 4:47:37 AM
Well society has a problem with much older women dating young guys and society can **** off. I have always dated older women and they generate respect far more than my generation of women. Older women have the IT factor, A large number of them are pre feminist and they embrace their femininity, They are comfatable with being true women and know how to treat a man the right way:)

I would say much older women are in high demand and like goldust:) Now why does this site have age restrictions? If people knew how to navigate the profile, then they would be able to set there own age restrictions and let the rest of us get on with it. Sound like a sensible idea?
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 6
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Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/8/2017 5:31:13 AM
You want a younger man, but most of the men want younger women. Welcome to dating, the world's biggest cat-and-mouse game.

Why not look for someone your age who looks young?
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 7
Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/8/2017 6:20:05 AM

Being desirable to a younger man is a wonderful feeling...


On the flip side, older men being desirable to younger women is a wonderful feeling too. I agree with hemingway.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 8
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Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/8/2017 6:21:37 AM

Why not look for someone your age who looks young?



Orrrrrr, just look for one of us older guys that act like children.

There's a bunch of us around.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 9
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Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/8/2017 6:42:34 AM
seek out a less attractive or unattractive young man, and he may just be happy to get attention he isn't getting from his peers...to overlook C-section scars, stretch marks, chicken arms, crows feet, saggy curves, etc. Yes, I know, cruel, but the question was asked. if a young man looks at an older woman who's been to the gym, and still thinks about unfirm jiggly breasts, then it may not matter she's kept herself up, he's just not interested in Mrs. Robinson when he's being chased by women his age who can wear two piece bikinis. Supply and demand are cruel, but they are reality.

An attractive younger man, frankly, may not have needed to develop his maturity enough to want the company an older woman can offer. He has quite a racket going on with younger girls who want to impress. They're doing what an older woman wants, b/c he doesn't need a whole lot for someone else, and the younger girl is doing it all night long. Ever bring your mom to a bar or a dance club?

Now, if by younger, you mean by age 38 (to me, that's not young), a man might in his thirties still be looking to have kids. By age 40, he's likely gotten settled, and listened to a ton of women start off relationships with

"what do you have to offer me, honey buns?"

compare that demand to the younger lass, who's only looking to eat someplace classier than McDonald's, who makes less of a demand on his wallet? Some women are sick of being burned by attractive men cashing in on their looks, i'm not blaming them for their attitude. They want a stand up guy, not a player. Unattractive men are less likely to be players, due to lack of practice :) But if you wish to catch the man approaching middle age looking for a fling, go where someone avoiding a midlife crisis goes. A man by this age probably has his own house, which means he may entertain at home and its why you may not find him hanging out in bars to avoid his parents. where do homeowners go? go there.

unfortunately, they may not have paid the mortgage yet, so may not be "well heeled and generous" as your profile asks of men. that phrase can be a red flag to some.
 leon714
Joined: 1/22/2015
Msg: 10
Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/8/2017 11:13:54 AM
gtomustang, section scars, stretch marks, chicken arms, crows feet, saggy curves, etc. Yes, I know, cruel, but the question was asked

Explain the above? These women are your age? I'm sure they have a list of problems old men get, but I don't see them posting it:) women of your age are like goldust:) They have the right attitude and upbringing...They are the cream of the crop...the best of the best...I know:) I had one!
 leon714
Joined: 1/22/2015
Msg: 11
Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/8/2017 11:17:08 AM
gtomustang, Ops I just viewed your profile! My mistake! Your look much, much older than 47! Thought your were around 60...that's why I said women you age!
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 12
Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/8/2017 12:02:30 PM
Doubt many young hot guys going to reply to your Q.. for me you have to do your market research - ie what do these young hot guys want in a woman? One picture isn't helping you and a few pounds over can mean darn near anything, so get up a full body shot.
Different strokes.. I don't find a young guy's attention "wonderful" I take it for what it most likely is.
Sheesh GTO, you sure paint older women with a neg brush. Chicken arms? Didn't you say you have not dated in years?
Off to spackle my face and tape all body parts up before going out to do yard work least I offend someone.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 13
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Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/8/2017 2:20:29 PM
If you want someone 15 years younger then you must expect to pay their way a lot and not have a committed relationship. A guy in his late thirties would not often would find a post menopausal woman a real proposition. Most men want women younger than themselves and it is no kudos for them to be going about with an older woman and hearing derogatory comments about the cougar and the sugar mama. I think you are expecting too much but good luck.
 leon714
Joined: 1/22/2015
Msg: 14
Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/8/2017 2:42:04 PM
letitialegrande , going about with an older woman and hearing derogatory comments about the cougar and the sugar mama.

Exactly, societies view on much older women dating young guys and it's so disrespectful to the couple:((( The lady gets a lot of ****ed up and brainwashed people demonising her, for her personal preferences and these ignorant people simply do not understand! She is in a happy relationship with a younger guy and it works for both of them.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 15
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just repeating the general consensus
Posted: 4/8/2017 3:17:37 PM
Yes, Hollywood does have a poor opinion of older ladies, hence why most leading ladies are not Helen Mirren (too bad, she looks great). I hear a lot of women my age say they "hate their arms", I remember someone posting here recently. If they don't value themselves, why should I not follow their lead? I didn't know people bought Oil of Olay to look older :) and as everyone missed, I blasted younger men in my post, as well--guess my slamming of everyone all got lost in the hubub :)

Everyone paints older women with a broad (heh) brush, so its not a surprise the average young stud isn't chasing Mrs. Robinson. Society is unfortunately patriachical not matriarchial, so its cruel in its stereotypes. Young studs want what they see on TV, and its not Diana Riggs or Sophia Loren. What can be said, young studs are young, dumb, and full of...themselves :)

Yep, haven't seen anyone other than my mom nekked in over a decade, the last two lovers were moms in their twenties, so they had stretch marks. Even they worried about it, and I tried to tell them everything else they offered was perfectly fine, but they were upset they no longer were going to wear bikinis. Focusing on the entire package wasn't something they were old enough to do yet.

so yes, I answered the question honestly and brutally. Just as when I ask someone out and they say no, they're answering honestly as well. The OP wondered why men didn't see her the way she saw herself. I explained what men THINK they see, or maybe do see in some older women...and assume they may find it on a woman who's been to the gym, eaten the right foods, etc.

I suspect if she doesn't look for an attractive young man, but a young man, she might find someone more mature (what else can he offer to women?), more "Grateful" (As Ben Franklin once referred). she might have better luck in finding a man who seeks out the entire package, not someone who is as focused on another's looks as he is on his own looks. we tend to like people who approach life the same way we do, it makes us feel comfortable.

out there somewhere, is the perfect Man and the perfect Woman--they both are attractive, and actually put personality before looks. B/c they are so perfect, they are in extremely high demand. They aren't sitting around unnoticed, believe you me. They have friends, business partners, coworkers, fellow churchgoers, etc who are all trying to get a date with that perfect person, who's only looking at personalities.

and one of them has the personality that perfect person is looking for...and thus found.

I know b/c I've been chasing these ladies all my life :) They aren't desperate for a date. An attractive human being is well aware they are attractive to other humans, and they don't bother to settle too much. I've dated some out of my league, but it didn't last long b/c I was just a "need" they needed for a short time--they wanted to not be alone in winter, they wanted to get over a guy, et cetera.

sounds cynical, I know, but its how the world works. No one dates someone they aren't attracted to. well, maybe the insecure do, but that brings us, again, to people who want to date someone for their personality. this isn't the insecure person. Lots of older women do look amazing, and that's why they are dating...the guy who is amazing. I do have two female friends who date losers, b/c they've always dated losers and frankly they aren't great gf material. But we're talking about great young men who are more interested in a woman's brain than her bra size, according to the OP.

has that young man spent his life without women approaching him? why, if he's so great and so attractive? what's wrong with women for not flirting with him, invading his space, hooking up drunkly with him? He's been in a bubble all this time?

also, the OP wants this miracle man to be "Well heeled and generous" according to her profile. Shall we go into detail about that requirement? somehow that got lost in the hubbub, too :)

the best way to be successful in dating, is to seek out the people who actually want us. unfortunately for some, there's a difference between getting a lot of dates, and dates we want. life isn't fair to all of us. i'm not going to attract someone younger than I b/c I am flat out not what any of them are looking for--otherwise I would have found one these last 14 years. when we cannot find what we're looking for, its time to look elsewhere for it. living in a full house 101 :)

I do not understand, however, being honest with who and what one is, is a bad reflection upon that person. we don't have to be everyone's cup of tea, in order to be steaming hot to someone out there :)
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 16
Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/8/2017 3:22:51 PM
Hope you don't reap what you sow.
Lots of older women look amazing...
chicken arms LOL. I am being Thumpers mother right this moment
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 17
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Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/8/2017 6:15:24 PM
I dated older women when I was 16. One was 17 and the other 18. Boy, did I learn a lot from them! Nowadays I stick to slender women at least 20 years younger than myself.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 18
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Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/8/2017 10:11:27 PM
slender women 20 years younger than you will want you to pay for everything. The viagra must get a work out for sure.
I wouldnt want a 64 year old man no matter how young or old I am....lol!
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 19
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Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/9/2017 12:55:26 AM

LetitiaLeGrande
I wouldnt want a 64 year old man no matter how young or old I am....lol!

BrownEyesBoo (one of my very favorite posters here) has made some very astute comments about this subject.

Even if you’re 60, you don’t want to date someone OLD. Someone your own age, maybe, but not someone who is OLD.

How do you define OLD? Mostly, that is a matter of outlook, attitude, behavior. Hard to describe in words, but you know it when you see it.

A lot of younger men have had very good experiences with older women. I have mentioned, before, here in these forums, my very good experiences when I was 25 with an older woman. To this day, I have no idea how old she was. She was old enough to not need birth control, but how old is that? It varies widely.

She was fun. Fun to be with, fun to be around, and great fun in bed. She taught me many, many things. No, not about sex, I actually knew more about that subject than her. More about relationships, and social etiquette, and proper behavior. To this day, I remember her fondly, with affection, and gratitude.

The OP seems to be living in a fantasy world. She wants a man much younger than herself, who is “well heeled and generous”. That just isn’t going to happen. Even at my ripe old age of 66, if I choose to spend the money, I can spend time with beautiful women half my age. Mostly I spend time with women close to my own age, but I will admit that I occasionally dip into the pool of younger women.

Dating is expensive, hell, life is expensive. Friday night, I had a date. I considered it a very casual date. Two move tickets, $21. Concession stand, one large popcorn, two drinks, $22. After the movie, a light dinner (2 salads, a glass of wine for her, a glass of beer for me), $40, with tip, $48. Damn, I spent $91! And this was truly just a casual date. When I’m actually trying to impress , it’s always over $200.

Most younger men can’t afford that. I can, and I do it regularly. Back in December of last year, I had 4 dates that averaged around $270. Three with one woman, and one with a second woman. (I’m looking at my American Express bills to help me remember this accurately.).

A couple of years ago, I had an arrangement, I guess you would call it a “sugar daddy” arrangement. I paid her student loan every month (about $500), and we went out once a week. We went to nice places, did fun things, enjoyed each other’s company, and yes, intimacy. I think we both enjoyed the time we spent together. Others might say very negative things about this “arrangement”, but it worked for us.

Everyone has to make their own decisions about how to live their life. The last woman that I really, really gave a damn about, she is now involved with a man even older than me. I talked about her here, a while ago. About 14 years younger than me, very beautiful, recently divorced, and looking to explore life and her possibilities.

She found a 70 year old man, a married man, who is rich and willing to spend lavishly on her. This weekend, she is in Vegas. Her new friend took her to Vegas, they left Wednesday for a 5 day weekend. He told her to pick out the shows she wanted to see, and he obtained tickets. Sounds like this weekend will run $5k or $6k, he can afford it, she enjoys it, who am I to cast stones?

I guess the most important thing to remember here, “It is what it is!” Life can be good, even when it isn’t perfect. Tonight I had a DJ gig, a private party. At one point, I was up on the dance floor with 7 women. Two of those women were DDG, and another 3 were damn good looking. I was dancing (fast, disco song), just myself and 7 women. I said, loudly, “I once had a dream very much like this!!”

The women all laughed, and several of them actively tried to act out my “dream”, moving in close, dancing with me, playing with my fantasy, if you can imagine that. These women are my friends, and I do appreciate them. Life is good.
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 20
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Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/9/2017 1:45:31 AM
Walts msg 8......brilliant :)

I don't get what the difference is about being desirable to younger or older men. Maybe it's just that 'still got it' feeling.
I had it, I lost it, can't be bothered to look for it :)
I do want to feel desired but only by the person I'm in a relationship with. If they make me feel that way, I'm buzzing.
I'm sure there are younger men who prefer to date older, you haven't found yours yet. Good luck :)
 PollyR107
Joined: 4/8/2016
Msg: 21
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Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/9/2017 3:41:45 AM
I'm not one of the younger men but would like to share my experience.

I've been approached by a lot of younger guys, on here or IRL. Once I've met one who was 12 years younger than me. I don't think the age gap is a problem at all in case of younger men and older women. Maturity is so much more important but doesn't always come with age unfortunately.

Some men in their late 30s or early 40s might still want to have kids and dating a woman over 45 isn't ideal. If they've got children and/or are divorced, they probably don't expect to have anymore children and may be looking to date older women. Theses guys are much more likely to be in your preferred group.

I've seen a lot of male profiles on here (UK) looking to date older women, not sure about your country though. Keep looking and keep optimistic, OP.

Best of luck
 FrothingShooter
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 22
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Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/9/2017 7:37:52 AM
Younger women are often vane narcissists.

Immature b!atches

No thanks
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 23
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Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/9/2017 10:19:20 AM

Younger women are often vane narcissists.


And some of them are renters.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 24
Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/9/2017 12:09:16 PM
I don't think any of them sit upon roofs
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 25
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Older woman younger man
Posted: 4/9/2017 1:11:35 PM
^^^ Just what I was thinking.
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