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 JoeyT2870
Joined: 1/17/2012
Msg: 1
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Get Together Male to Female RatiosPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I'm just wondering if people in other areas are experiencing the same thing I am here. Every time they have a get together, the ratio of men going to women going is WAYYY out of Balance. Seems like there is almost a 5 man to 1 woman ratio at these mixers. I'm just wondering if others and having this issue, and why it happens ?? Just my 2 cents, but I don't see where that works out for people. Anyway, feel free to post/reply if you like. Would love to know what people think . Thanks :-)
 JoeyT2870
Joined: 1/17/2012
Msg: 2
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Posted: 4/16/2017 9:30:40 AM
Perfect example......they were having a get together this past Friday here in the area......on the page for the party just before the party it said 99 people were attending......when I did a count, there was 18 women attending and 81 men. That's over 4 men for each woman. That's not a mixer, that's a FREE FOR ALL !!! It's not fair to either them men or the women, because from the men's side. there's just not enough of a balanced ratio for the man to have a fair chance to meet someone. And for the women, it's not fair because being that there are so many men, they are often bomabrded with attention at these and don't get to actually look around themselves as they are always being approached. Shouldn't the party plannner or POF see this as a issue and do something to make the mixers more receptive for people to go to by evening out the ratios, even if it means telling members they can't go due to the ratios being off ????
 JoeyT2870
Joined: 1/17/2012
Msg: 3
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Posted: 4/16/2017 12:52:57 PM
The problem is......it's NOT managed, and the "party director" that throws these seems to have NO regard for the clients that he is supposed to be working for. I have wrote him more than once to express my concerns, and it falls on deaf ears. Apparently, from what I have been told at these meet and greets by a few is that the party directors don't have any affiliations with POF other than to call themselves "party coordinators" with a little consideration from POF as to their title.
 Scar33Lord
Joined: 2/11/2017
Msg: 4
Get Together Male to Female Ratios
Posted: 4/20/2017 9:23:36 PM
I went to a mixer at the beginning of the month and had the same basic experience. And it was quantified in my case because not only were women FAR outnumbered by men, but none of the, oh, I'll say five women who did show up were anything close to my age. I'm 35 and the female attendees were older by at least a decade in the lowest age. I'm willing to try with older women, but I do have a limit, and all the women there seemed well over it.
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 5
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Posted: 4/21/2017 5:39:52 AM

And for the women, it's not fair because being that there are so many men, they are often bombarded with attention at these and don't get to actually look around themselves as they are always being approached.


Bingo. I suspect that that's why they're reluctant to sign up. It's supposed to be a meet-up, not a meat-fest, after all. I agree that it's up to the organiser to monitor the ratio carefully so that it isn't out of whack.
 JoeyT2870
Joined: 1/17/2012
Msg: 6
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Posted: 4/21/2017 2:18:13 PM
The organizer of this party has held many parties here where this is the case, and he apparently has NO interest in trying to imrove things. I know I have messaged him , and I know a of a female friend who messaged him expressing our concerns from BOTH sides of the equation, and he did NOT respond to either of us. He apparently just does what he wants, and does not care at all about the people he is SUPPOSED to be representing. I know of another dating site that has mixers, and they DO monitor their meet and greets so that there is a fair ratio of men to women, and that it is NOT out of whack. Maybe if the event planners realized that what they do by not making it a even balance is hurting their events it would change things, but I doubt it.
 Mz_Informed
Joined: 11/15/2016
Msg: 7
Get Together Male to Female Ratios
Posted: 4/21/2017 7:22:37 PM
You could try voicing your concerns to the Events Moderator. Perhaps she could help you find some answers/solutions. Her Profile follows.

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=67643282
 Scar33Lord
Joined: 2/11/2017
Msg: 8
Get Together Male to Female Ratios
Posted: 4/21/2017 11:04:36 PM
One thing I should also note: The member who sent me the message informing me of the get-together was a no-show.
 JoeyT2870
Joined: 1/17/2012
Msg: 9
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Posted: 4/24/2017 1:30:25 PM
Wrote her a E-Mail a few days ago.....nothing from her either :-(
 flyover_boy
Joined: 12/28/2016
Msg: 10
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Posted: 5/1/2017 12:01:50 PM
Speaking more broadly on this, I haven’t been impressed with any of these ‘get togethers,’ STIR events or even MeetUps. Generally, the big issue is not the gender ratio, but too few women under 45 or 40, and far too many over 50. A couple of my local MeetUp groups have had ratios FAR out in the other direction. So much so, the women were complaining. But, none of the women were those I would want to date.

Are you going to these events where there’s a cap on people over, say 50 ? Are these events something that would interest women in their 30‘s and 40‘s ? I have just found some of these events to be very poorly organized, with no ability to communicate with people outside the event. I’m not big for crowds, personally, and I’m not always able to hit up conversations with women I’m interested in. I remember one event, where it was crowded and loaded (crowd ratios were OK), but no organization, no way to MEET people. We were in a room in the upper floor of a bar, and paid for the privilege to be there. Hit the men’s room, ran into another guy, taking off his tag, rolled our eyes, ‘what a waste.’ Sat down at the bar for a drink and two women came up to us and started talking. Nothing became of it, but we hung out for a half hour, talked. The general bar itself had better ‘talent’ that the room we PAID for.

I would even go as far to say, if you see one of these events, and know the location, might want to go yourself, NOT register and pay, and hang around outside the event...if it’s a public bar/hotel/establishment. There will be other people there, and maybe ‘dissatisfied people,’ from the organized event, might trickle in.
 Scar33Lord
Joined: 2/11/2017
Msg: 11
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Posted: 5/1/2017 9:02:03 PM
^^^^^

Oh, YES. EVERYTHING you just said. At the one event I attended, it was like a retirement home cafeteria. I felt like I had entered from a whole other dimension. I couldn't do or say much of anything, and I felt like a total goober sitting there eating by myself. I was the youngest person at the get-together by a country mile, and I'm an introvert by nature - I'm not going to simply walk up to someone and strike up a conversation. It was almost surreal. I felt like attending was a huge mistake the second I entered the room, but I gave it the old college try and tried to wait for someone who wasn't 20 years my senior to enter. My college try lasted well under an hour, and the trickle-in let up after maybe a half hour. It didn't take me very long to figure out that I wasn't going to be meeting anyone there, and I painfully finished my meal, paid my bill, and left.

I felt almost like I had been scammed. I felt embarrassed and very angry. I don't think I'll ever attend another one.

Also, when I finally ran into the forums and looked at the list of the invited guests to it afterward, I noticed that very few women seemed to have been invited at all. That just pissed me off even more because there are a handful of women in my area on this site that I had hoped might show.
 JoeyT2870
Joined: 1/17/2012
Msg: 12
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Posted: 5/2/2017 10:47:42 AM
TOTALLY hear what you are saying......the ratios are already off for men to women, and , like has been said, it gets even worse when you factor in ages. I was talking to a lady about one of the get togethers, and she said she does not attend then because of how poorly regulated they are. She went to one previously, and she felt horrible due to over 3/4th of the men being too old or young for her. I am thinking of trying to throw a party here in my area, but I am not sure if I am allowed to be selective to the invites. I think if there WAS a balance for ages and men to women these events would work, but I think the organizers just don't care to do the bit of extra work to ensure balance.
 chongpeace
Joined: 4/23/2016
Msg: 13
Get Together Male to Female Ratios
Posted: 5/6/2017 6:04:39 PM
All the events I like go, like hiking, church, 5 women to 1 men :)
 JoeyT2870
Joined: 1/17/2012
Msg: 14
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Posted: 5/7/2017 10:00:35 AM
I so hear what Flyover and Scar were saying......I looked as to the rules for POF Get Togethers, and it says that you CANNOT restrict members from being invited, and you must invite all ages. While I do understand that, it just seems like this rule is in SERIOUS need to being edited or changed. If your a male or female, since it affects both, are you MORE likely to attend a get together that is "lightly" or "somewhat" tailored towards your age group than one this is not ??? Would you rather attend a get together with 100 people in your age group, or 10 ?? It says you can SUGGEST ages when you do invites, but I think , in some ways, it's ruder to make that suggestion as opposed to making the party to a certain demographic. If I have a party and say I make it for ages 30-50 only, I think it's reasonable to try to have that than have a party where I suggest that you be 30-50, as I would take that as a "You can come, but I really don't want you there if you're not in that age grouping". At least when you make the event age exclusive people can't say they were invited in a "off the collar" manner. Also, if you're going to a party and you see there is 80 men to 20 women, you're NOT going to be so excited to go, especially if you look closer and see that out of the 20 women that 15 are not in the age group you are looking to date. I think POF REALLY needs to take a look at the Get Together rules, and make tweeks to them so that these events are more successful, as I believe the rules they are using now are outdated and need to be re-worked to find a better ground so that these events can be more productive and helpful for it's members.
 Starion
Joined: 1/23/2012
Msg: 15
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Posted: 5/10/2017 1:11:56 AM
^ ^ ^ THIS.

POF's rules do not seemingly allow for specific catering to an age grouping or limit gender counts.

I just found these forums today as well as the post on starting an event since I've yet to see a POF even within 100 miles of me. I'm happy to put one on, but this has me second guessing that idea. Additional input suggested.

Granted I'm looking to do a bowling event for those willing with karaoke at the bar after 9 til late (the real event). Both are social fun for any age, but the intent is to spark dating options, so....


(while I'm posting why is this forum asking me to log in every time I click "post". Good thing I can page back to copy what I typed, else it's gone.)
 JoeyT2870
Joined: 1/17/2012
Msg: 16
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Posted: 5/10/2017 9:30:02 AM
Starion.....a lot of it does have to do with location too.....I live just outside of Vancouver, so there is a lot larger pool of people to draw from obviously, but like I have said I still find the ratios SEVERELY flawed. Where as you might be in a area where a party could draw quite well, and the ratio will not be as schewed.
 Scar33Lord
Joined: 2/11/2017
Msg: 17
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Posted: 5/11/2017 8:35:59 PM
After my experience, "lightly" and "somewhat" leave far too much clout. I need to know that an event would be exclusive to my age group before I try again.
 JoeyT2870
Joined: 1/17/2012
Msg: 18
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Posted: 5/12/2017 3:57:33 PM
From what I have read Scarlord......there is NO way to cater to a demographic/age group with Get Togethers........now perhaps if enough people wrote and asked for a change.......??????????
 LivelySteve
Joined: 12/21/2015
Msg: 19
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Posted: 6/3/2017 3:44:57 AM
One of the problems is that most of the event organisers are just putting on the event to make money for themselves.

POF are unconcerned about that's as they just want to have the events. I did discuss that with the event moderator.

Another problem is that when 20 women are surrounded by 80 men they often retreat into a "safe" environment with the women!

But then, based on my experiences, the whole site is mostly men and particularly amongst the under 35s.
 JoeyT2870
Joined: 1/17/2012
Msg: 20
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Posted: 6/6/2017 11:21:24 AM
I thought it says CLEARLY in the rules that party planners CANNOT make profit from the events ????? Hmmmmm !!!!!!!!!!!
 sweety_6600
Joined: 12/18/2009
Msg: 21
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Posted: 6/12/2017 4:06:06 PM
OMG this just happened to me. I posted a long reply and by the time i got done it made me log back in and all that i typed was gone. I had to retype it and therefore i shortened it and than learned the copy and paste feature works well in this forum. :-)
 JoeyT2870
Joined: 1/17/2012
Msg: 22
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Posted: 6/14/2017 1:04:11 PM
Yes.....if you're typing more than a small paragraph it logs you out and you have to log back in again, so if you're going to type a long comment, copy it so you can paste it instead of re-typing it LOL :-)
 PXA_H800
Joined: 5/6/2017
Msg: 23
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Posted: 6/16/2017 3:33:02 PM
sounds like you guys want to FORCE women under 40 to show up to these events so you can hit on them ... probably the same local women who don't respond to your messages.
 JoeyT2870
Joined: 1/17/2012
Msg: 24
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Posted: 6/19/2017 10:23:29 PM
The issue is NOT that....it's having women INSIDE my age group....last party they had here 14 women were there.....10 were under 30 and 3 of the remaining 4 were over 55......leaving 1 woman aged 30-55 there......that's a ratio that's just NOT fair to anyone !!
 storm8862
Joined: 3/8/2017
Msg: 25
Get Together Male to Female Ratios
Posted: 1/23/2018 5:12:59 AM
I have gone to a few in NJ and I find them to be pretty nice, but I did not find to many men who where not already paired off. It seemed to be more of a couples thing like people linked up prior to the event.

New Jersey is like that I guess.
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