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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > slept with a girl from work...bad idea      Home login  
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 n.marshall
Joined: 4/10/2012
Msg: 1
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slept with a girl from work...bad ideaPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
So I was seeing this girl from my work for a couple weeks...she said she felt anxious about the whole situation and couldn't give me 100% blah blah blah...So fine..."I'll move on" I said. It's been over 2 months now and she won't even look at me at work even tho it was HER IDEA to end things. I'm trying to be nice to her but all I get is one word answers if I do encounter her....I'm not sure what to do here....I don't want things to be awkward anymore because we ****ing work together...Should I just not talk to her? Keep being friendly to her? Talk to her about it? Go to HR and say she's making things at work uncomfortable because of her attitude? (not wanting to come to this) I should never have slept with her (hindsight 20/20) How should I approach this?
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 2
slept with a girl from work...bad idea
Posted: 5/8/2017 3:11:05 PM
Wow, you'd actually go to HR because a woman dumped you? Sure.. and you can tell them you 2 slept together and get yourselves both fired.
If she is answering you what exactly is the problem?
 NoxzemaWA
Joined: 2/19/2017
Msg: 3
slept with a girl from work...bad idea
Posted: 5/8/2017 3:14:33 PM
Treat her like any other co-worker in a professional and civil manner. If you choose to dip your pen in the company ink, you need to be mature enough to deal with the consequences - whether they be good or bad.
 n.marshall
Joined: 4/10/2012
Msg: 4
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slept with a girl from work...bad idea
Posted: 5/8/2017 3:18:20 PM
lol Ouija I dont care that she "dumped" me, the fact she's being short and ****y to me is the problem....I couldn't give any less of a **** that she ended things at least be civil.
 PlutoLover68
Joined: 7/28/2016
Msg: 5
slept with a girl from work...bad idea
Posted: 5/8/2017 3:18:36 PM
Don't go to HR, that will just stir the pot and make it worse. I'd be courteous and only talk to her when your job requires it. Hopefully she'll get over her guilt and awkward feelings.
 n.marshall
Joined: 4/10/2012
Msg: 6
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slept with a girl from work...bad idea
Posted: 5/8/2017 3:19:37 PM
No I won't go to HR obviously lol
 IMayBeCrazy_But
Joined: 12/28/2016
Msg: 7
slept with a girl from work...bad idea
Posted: 5/8/2017 3:23:40 PM
Is this the same girl who "dumped you out of nowhere"???

I suggest having a conversation with her...she'll let you know if she wants you to stop talking to her entirely while at work. I also suggest having this chat with her away from work. Getting HR involved isn't going to ease the office tension.
 n.marshall
Joined: 4/10/2012
Msg: 8
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slept with a girl from work...bad idea
Posted: 5/8/2017 3:26:28 PM
yes same girl...I've moved on and she obviously is being immature about it
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 9
slept with a girl from work...bad idea
Posted: 5/8/2017 3:32:59 PM
Do you want to know how to truly move on ?


Stop caring how she behaves
 n.marshall
Joined: 4/10/2012
Msg: 10
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slept with a girl from work...bad idea
Posted: 5/8/2017 3:34:12 PM
Lol good point!
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 11
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slept with a girl from work...bad idea
Posted: 5/8/2017 3:35:36 PM

yes same girl...I've moved on and she obviously is being immature about it


SHE'S the one being immature? Publicly whining about it like this, and even JOKING about "going to mama" (HR) because you don't like that she isn't as callous as you are about it all, doesn't exactly qualify as "mature."

Mature, would be realizing that you made a very obvious wrong move to start up something entirely casual AT WORK (it isn't exactly a secret that diddling people on the same payroll is 100% a bad idea), and decide to grow up enough to behave the way you should have from the beginning: professionally.

Grownups accept responsibility for their errors and pay the price. All of it.
 n.marshall
Joined: 4/10/2012
Msg: 12
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slept with a girl from work...bad idea
Posted: 5/8/2017 3:40:29 PM
Hmmm, I like Butterchickenchuck's response the best haha...I'm just not gonna give a f*ck. Thanks everyone!
 PlutoLover68
Joined: 7/28/2016
Msg: 13
slept with a girl from work...bad idea
Posted: 5/8/2017 3:45:42 PM

No I won't go to HR obviously lol


Not so obvious since you asked us if you should talk to them.
 n.marshall
Joined: 4/10/2012
Msg: 14
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slept with a girl from work...bad idea
Posted: 5/8/2017 3:50:05 PM
Sorry lol. Should have left that out.
 NoxzemaWA
Joined: 2/19/2017
Msg: 15
slept with a girl from work...bad idea
Posted: 5/8/2017 4:27:20 PM
^ Yeah, I can see right through that. Why mention it if you weren't considering it? It wasn't until we suggested against it that he retracted it as a "joke". I'm with Igor all the way.

OP, grow up.
 LOLTrump
Joined: 3/7/2017
Msg: 16
slept with a girl from work...bad idea
Posted: 5/8/2017 7:00:32 PM

I should never have slept with her (hindsight 20/20)


At this point to do not think it matters how you had sex.




How should I approach this?


Have you considered asking random strangers on the internet?
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 17
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slept with a girl from work...bad idea
Posted: 5/8/2017 9:00:46 PM
From OP's flip-flopping replies in this thread, I can see another incident coming if he doesn't leave that woman alone. Yes, she will call HR and it will be about sexual harassment. And as much as you say "I just wanted to talk" it will mean NOTHING because you slept with her, and any person on Earth would think you were bugging her for more.

Stay away from her as much as possible. Do not take breaks at the same time, do not eat lunch in the same room, do not sit at the same conference table, use different staircases or elevators in the building. YOU MADE THIS MESS.

If you need to communicate, use in-office messaging or email, and ONLY TALK ABOUT WORK. Do not ask about her mood, what she is doing, where she is going, who she is talking to - none of that!

- Do your best to get transferred to another section where you won't run into her again.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 18
slept with a girl from work...bad idea
Posted: 5/9/2017 4:07:23 AM
Put a bag of sh!t in her mailbox.
 dpwesu
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 19
slept with a girl from work...bad idea
Posted: 5/9/2017 4:20:16 AM
Good grief!!! Never, EVER dip your pen in the company ink!!! When will people ever learn???

If you are dumb enough to do that.....don't you DARE go whining to HR!!! For if you do.....you will more than likely lose your job at the least....at the most....you might be explaining yourself to a judge on the 9th Federal Circuit what your actions actually were......

You were adult enough to sleep with her.....you are now adult enough to clean up your own mess.

Do NOT talk to her, spend any time in any "common area" - the break room, etc with her, take different corridors, elevators, staircases, etc. - avoid her at all costs.

Do NOT interact with her on any level unless it's job related and nothing more if you are required to.

If I were you......if the option is available.....transfer to a different department or better yet, location. Or better yet.....how about a different company related to your field and skill set????

I certainly hope you have learned a lesson playing with fire here........
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 20
slept with a girl from work...bad idea
Posted: 5/9/2017 6:31:31 AM

It's been over 2 months now and she won't even look at me at work even tho it was HER IDEA to end things.


Bitter much? She's doing the right thing by ignoring you, but you still want her to be pining over you. How were you expecting things to pan out?


So fine..."I'll move on" I said.


So do it. Move on.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 21
the only thing you should sleep with at work is your desk
Posted: 5/9/2017 7:36:29 AM
You may think not wanting to get your meat where you earn your bread makes you "moved on", but you're still concerned with her not giving you attention the way you want it, so you're still focused on your value based on how she acts. Just let it all go--if she's giving you no room to shoot your mouth off, you don't have the room to say anything that will send her running to HR.

unless you try to make that space and say something you shouldn't, in order to get her attention.

Its never unusual for things to get frosty. Ride out the storm. She's in control b/c she can go to HR. Let her take the lead. Again, if you don't get an opportunity to put your foot in your mouth, be glad for that lack of opportunity.

Ever have anyone else at work give you the one word answers? How did you handle it? be polite to her as well, just b/c she saw you naked doesn't mean she has to still be awed by you. its all good.
 ebolakitty
Joined: 3/19/2016
Msg: 22
the only thing you should sleep with at work is your desk
Posted: 5/10/2017 5:10:19 AM
Dude, get out of there! You say electric utility for profession. If you have electrician type skills then freelance. If you work in the billing office or some crap like that look for a man's job. Muffler shop, AC and R, whatever. Just don't work with cvnts. It doesn't matter if you take a pay cut. As long as you can keep body and soul together, the peace of mind alone will be worth it.

You mention HR. Any organization that has an HR is absolutely loaded with deranged cvnts. Bail! Do it tomorrow if you dare. If you don't and stick around until you get another job. DO NOT ignore her. Take her seriously... a serious threat. She is an attention whore. Depriving her of attention is a provocation and it invites her to retaliate with false accusations. At least as it is now, she is getting her jollies by causing discomfort. Don't make her escalate. Assuage your self that it won't be for much longer and go on as you have been.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 23
slept with a girl from work...bad idea
Posted: 5/10/2017 6:25:23 AM
The OP should simply ignore her unless he has a work related question or comment that he needs to talk about with her.


Good grief!!! Never, EVER dip your pen in the company ink!!! When will people ever learn???


Dating co-workers should be looked at on a case by case basis instead of making a blanket statement. Yes it can be a calculated risk. However not all situations or circumstances are necessarily the same. I do know people that are married or in relationships with someone that was a co-worker when they first started dating.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 24
slept with a girl from work...bad idea
Posted: 5/10/2017 8:11:08 AM
"Good grief!!! Never, EVER dip your pen in the company ink!!! When will people ever learn??? "


"Dating co-workers should be looked at on a case by case basis instead of making a blanket statement. "




Agree 100 %


I don't recommend dating people from your work BUT ....

...you get to know someone, you like them and you're going to do what you're going to do


I have dated 2 co workers as well as someone who worked in the work cafeteria AND the work day care and have NOT regretted it


I guess I've been lucky in that regard
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 25
slept with a girl from work...bad idea
Posted: 5/10/2017 8:57:56 AM
There is an old saying.... don't poop where you eat. Don't date women at work.
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