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 wmir
Joined: 7/23/2013
Msg: 1
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Age range?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Could it be that POF sets an "adequate age range" for you?
When I try to start a conversation with someone below 23 it seems to automatically say that this person doesn't want this contact - no matter which person.
Before I turned one year older, the same was with any person below 22, a year before below 21...

I'm just wondering...is there some sort of paternalism? Aren't people 18+ able to decide for themselves whom they want to get in contact with and whom they don't?
 LOLTrump
Joined: 3/7/2017
Msg: 2
Age range?
Posted: 7/11/2017 2:09:27 PM

Could it be that POF sets an "adequate age range" for you?


POF has age restrictions built in.

~ +/- 14years




I'm just wondering...is there some sort of paternalism?


Did someone force you to join POF and and they also forcing you to stay?

If your answer is no for both then no it is not a form of paternalism, it is you overreacting.
 zodegis
Joined: 2/16/2017
Msg: 3
Age range?
Posted: 7/11/2017 3:20:15 PM
When you look at profiles you can find that some people have set requirements for contacting them. If you do not meet those requirements (age range is one) then you are not allowed to contact them.
 zephyrmop
Joined: 6/24/2017
Msg: 4
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Age range?
Posted: 7/16/2017 6:06:59 AM
The owner put in a limit so men can't search for women 14 years older/younger. That's only for men though, as women are able to search for men of any age. Sexism at it's finest.
 cindi_rella
Joined: 7/25/2016
Msg: 5
Age range?
Posted: 7/17/2017 9:52:02 AM
^Users can search whomever they want, you just cant message them.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 6
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Age range?
Posted: 7/17/2017 6:16:57 PM

The owner put in a limit so men can't search for women 14 years older/younger. That's only for men though, as women are able to search for men of any age. Sexism at it's finest.

This is incorrect. Anyone can search for anything they want. You can set any parameters your little heart desires.

The age restriction for contact is locked in for both men and women.
 pofman666
Joined: 10/5/2016
Msg: 7
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Age range?
Posted: 7/18/2017 11:33:11 AM
spot4username - As a man, I can only search within that age range.
 Mz_Informed
Joined: 11/15/2016
Msg: 8
Age range?
Posted: 7/18/2017 4:26:44 PM
Nah. If you're not signed in to the dating side, you can search for anything your little ol' heart desires.
 musicminusone
Joined: 4/27/2012
Msg: 9
Age range?
Posted: 12/20/2017 5:55:25 PM
I completely respect an individual's setting their own age range preferences. But if they don't. why does Markus impose this upon everyone???

For all the good it will do, I just responded to his token sale offer as follows:

More importantly, why don't you remove age restrictions already? It's arbitrary and unfair and nobody likes this! When Bogart married Bacall, he was 46 and she was 19. And they had a happy marriage till the day he died.****Van Dyke is in his 90's and happily married to a woman in her early 40's. Just who do you think needs your protection? If someone is old enough to vote and decide whom they want for President, they are old enough to decide all by themselves whom they want to date.
 musicminusone
Joined: 4/27/2012
Msg: 10
Age range?
Posted: 12/20/2017 5:58:37 PM
OMG! They just ****'d Van Dyke's first name in my post above! How prudish is Markus and his system???
 Mark_It_Up
Joined: 3/15/2011
Msg: 11
Age range?
Posted: 12/21/2017 2:27:14 AM

why does Markus impose this upon everyone???

Well firstly Markus doesn't own the site any more. He sold it to Match quite a long time ago. Match have opted to change very little, including leaving this restriction in place.


nobody likes this

Except the majority of women, who prefer not to be contacted by old men.

It was implemented because a large number of female users were quitting and cancelling their subscriptions due to the huge number of sexual and inappropriate messages they were getting from men old enough to be their fathers.

I'm sure a few old men cancelled their memberships due to this change, but hey, the needs of the many vs the needs of the few etc.

If you don't like it then I'm sure there are other sites that will suit you better.
 musicminusone
Joined: 4/27/2012
Msg: 12
Age range?
Posted: 12/21/2017 5:41:12 AM
Any individual has the option of specifying an age range or not. Why should this restriction be imposed on someone who does not specify this? In my experience, most women do NOT specify an age range. Is that "the needs of the many"? Have you never been frustrated by coming across a lovely lady that was just one or two years older or younger than the artificial limit imposed? The 'if you don't like it, leave it' approach doesn't really solve anything. As far as sexual or inappropriate messages, those know no age. One can be honorable or not at any age.

Not that I need to say this but it so happens that most of the women I've dated have, in fact been what most people would consider "age appropriate". Again I refer to all the points I made above and suggest that they do not represent the views of justa few at all.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 13
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Age range?
Posted: 12/21/2017 6:19:49 AM
^^
It is the way the site is set up. It is not going to change.

This is a forum that is not monitored and is populated by a tiny percentage of the user membership. In other words your posts are not being seen by anyone who can make a change - not that it would happen anyway.

It is a free site. No one is making you use this site. There are lots of other free and paid sites that do not have age restrictions. You are free to use any of those that you like.
 Mark_It_Up
Joined: 3/15/2011
Msg: 14
Age range?
Posted: 12/21/2017 7:05:20 AM

Have you never been frustrated by coming across a lovely lady that was just one or two years older or younger than the artificial limit imposed?

No. I always found searching for an appropriate age range to give much better matches than looking for someone young enough to be my daughter.


most women do NOT specify an age range

There's no need for them to specify an additional range if the +/- 14 year restriction keeps the undesirables away. If they wanted an older man then they would be using another site.


The 'if you don't like it, leave it' approach doesn't really solve anything.

Nor does complaining about a rule which isn't going to be changed. For goodness sake you were complaining about this 2 years ago. It wasn't changed then, and it won't be now.
 alpha__waves
Joined: 11/6/2017
Msg: 15
Age range?
Posted: 12/22/2017 3:31:03 AM
Why not just hide profiles that don't fall into your specified age range? It's probably only a few lines of code. Most of the other sites just do this. What the hell? Are the programmers here mentally handicapped or something?
 CialDar
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 18
Age range?
Posted: 12/31/2017 5:54:22 PM
I have tried to respond to this post and keep getting kicked. The first time I understand because I mentioned two other sites. The second time I just responded to the age requirement and got booted. If this time it doesn't go through, I will assume POF doesn't like reasoned arguments.
I find it ironic that women need to be protected from older men, although they can set the age filter for themselves, but apparently they don't need to be protected from married men who just want a cheating partner. "Not single, not looking," obviously means married cheater. It's been my experience that "separated" with no pic means the same thing.
Let's lose the age restriction, lose the married men, and enforce the pic requirement.
 alpha__waves
Joined: 11/6/2017
Msg: 19
Age range?
Posted: 1/3/2018 1:29:31 PM

The owner put in a limit so men can't search for women 14 years older/younger. That's only for men though, as women are able to search for men of any age. Sexism at it's finest.


This is joke, right?
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 20
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Age range?
Posted: 1/3/2018 1:44:23 PM
^^^^^^^

It isn't a joke it is just incorrect information. The +/- 14 is for men and women.
 alpha__waves
Joined: 11/6/2017
Msg: 21
Age range?
Posted: 1/3/2018 2:39:46 PM

It isn't a joke it is just incorrect information. The +/- 14 is for men and women.


Ah... if they think they know better.

The one-wayedness of the other statement sounded off, though.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 22
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Age range?
Posted: 1/5/2018 4:44:34 PM
"Not single, not looking,"
There are many of us here. At one time we WERE single AND looking. We wondered into the wacky world of the POF Forums, and before we realized it, we became addicted, and now we can never leave..................on our own, it takes a boot or two.
Some of us, maybe married, or we may have found our one and only. =Not single
Most of us, "Not Single" are = NOT looking.
We enjoy train wrecks, (how pathetic is this?) we are entertained daily, here in the Forums, and damn it, we are trapped!

This does not mean we are cheaters
 musicminusone
Joined: 12/23/2017
Msg: 23
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Age range?
Posted: 1/12/2018 6:57:50 AM
This will be my last post on this particular thread, just to clarify a couple of things as best I can. If anyone wants or needs to have the last word, it's fine with me. I'm not an addict here and won't even look any further at this thread:

To Whom it May Concern:

1. Anyone who has found someone they are happy with, I'm truly glad for them. But if they say that they have only dated or looked for someone in a certain age range and they call that "age appropriate" they are imposing a value judgement on others. There IS no one appropriate age range except for any given individual or couple.

2. It so happens that in the relatively few - and they HAVE been few - times that I have shown interest in, dated or even gotten seriously involved with a lady outside of what some or even many would consider "age appropriate", more often than not the lady was OLDER than I was! So the "dirty old man lusting after a defenseless 19 year old chick for a one night stand" is not the paradigm one should immediately jump to.

3. If enough people complain, sometimes complaining DOES work.

4. I don't know if I should be concerned or oddly flattered that someone remembers (which I did not) that I posted on this subject 2 years ago. But it seems to me that anyone who does, has spent too much time. energy and attention on and to these forums. As for me, I'm done here. Good luck to everyone.
 Mark_It_Up
Joined: 3/15/2011
Msg: 24
Age range?
Posted: 1/12/2018 8:06:56 AM
1. OK.

2. This is very rare. The other way round is far more common. By far the majority of age-inappropriate messages are from dirty old men lusting after young women for a one night stand.

3. That is precisely why the +/- age range was implemented. LOTS of people complained about constantly being harassed by men old enough to be their father, and lots of people were closing their accounts because of it. The number of people complaining about the +/- restriction is relatively minor and they are extremely unlikely to change it back, no matter how much you complain about it.

4. Bye :)
 flyover_boy
Joined: 12/28/2016
Msg: 25
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Age range?
Posted: 1/12/2018 1:26:46 PM

Anyone who has found someone they are happy with, I'm truly glad for them. But if they say that they have only dated or looked for someone in a certain age range and they call that "age appropriate" they are imposing a value judgement on others. There IS no one appropriate age range except for any given individual or couple.



I think you made some progress in the ‘hidden’ part of this conversation. That is the subjective judgment of others as to ‘what’s age appropriate.’ Regardless of POF’s policy, men will continue to date much younger women.

But, I don’t understand the tension with this. It’s POF’s policy, it is what it is, move on. As a newsflash to many here, excuse my raised voice, THERE ARE OTHER DATINGS SITES ! You want to date a woman 20 years your junior, there’s MATCH and eHarmony to name a few. There is a practical loophole, however, and I’ve seen it on many of women’s profiles. We’ve talked about lying on ages, but many women I’ve seen will list 35 as their age and the first line in the profile reads, ‘I’m really 45...but I am attracted to younger men.’ Which leads to the ‘disappointment at the first meeting.’

Regardless, it is POF’s policy and that’s that, no big deal. I haven’t heard this huge chorus of women saying POF is sooooo much better now with that restriction than before (I think it does more for the narrative of some), and as we demonstrated, it can be circumvented. But, age lying is endemic on dating sites. As to the so-called 'old, creepy guys,’ do what I do when I get...humm, emails from the 'old, ugly wildebeest,’ 'you’re very handsome and attractive.’ Delete/block...it works like a charm.
 Mark_It_Up
Joined: 3/15/2011
Msg: 26
Age range?
Posted: 1/14/2018 12:26:26 AM

I haven’t heard this huge chorus of women saying POF is sooooo much better now with that restriction than before

Likewise I haven't heard any chorus (or in fact one single complaint ever) from women saying that they want the restriction lifted because they can't find the older man they are looking for any more.
 flyover_boy
Joined: 12/28/2016
Msg: 27
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Age range?
Posted: 1/14/2018 3:25:40 PM
This is your narrative, Marky Mark ? You have one complaint from me. My opinion is the talent here has gone down hill. Correlation ?
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